Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
J ames
It’s been one week. One week since Cecilia walked into my office. One week since I got to see how she does that hair of hers. One week since I heard her quips, and one week since I felt her lips on mine and discovered what she tasted like.
Either I was going mad, or I was missing her. I felt like a fool because this wasn’t me. I didn’t miss women, especially ones like her, that I had no business missing.
Putting a stop to things was all for the best, however. I was feeling things for her, which is the most I’ve ever felt in my entire life. It was terrifying as much as it was dangerous. She didn’t need to be any more a part of my life than she has been. It was honestly stupid of me to want her at all, but I’ve realized I didn’t make the best decisions around her, and resisting her was next to impossible. She didn’t belong in my life, and Tobias didn’t want her a part of this side of his either. It was all a sign for me to stay the hell away and let sleeping dogs lie, or whatever the hell it is they say.
Except two hours later, I’m getting off my private jet and into my car to head to Stone Corridor. I wasn’t going to get any work done if I didn’t see her just one more time. I couldn’t let that night at Underground be our last encounter.
I walked into the library, finding it suspiciously empty. It was only a little after two in the afternoon, and it was a sunnier autumn day outside. I expected there to be more people out and about.
My gaze flits to her desk, and I don’t see her there. I feel a dropping sensation in my chest that makes me want to pound my fists against it. I hated all these new sensations, like disappointment and anticipation. It was enough to make a man go bloody insane.
I walk deeper inside, and it’s then I hear a faint chattering. I follow the noise, taking me deeper toward the back of the library, where I notice the paint color on the walls change from an old off-white to a bright grass green. The shelves looked slightly newer, and the books were more colorful. There were also shelves with things like toys and knick-knacks along them. Rainbows, clouds, and flowers were painted on the walls, too, the more I looked around.
I realize I’m in the children’s section, and I go to turn back when I hear the noise again. Realizing it’s Cecilia’s lulling voice, I walk around one more shelf, where I stop behind a crowd of parents watching their children sit on the floor in a circle. Cecilia sits in front of them on a small beanbag chair, reading a book about some happy whale.
Her voice was more expressive and enthusiastic than I’d ever heard, and I couldn’t help but smile in amusement as I watched her read to the children, her blue eyes wide with creativity as she read the story to them.
Her hair was tied into a bun on top of her head, and she was wearing a light-yellow dress with red, pink, and white horizontal stripes going down the entirety of it and a long pink cardigan over top of it. Her chunky white sneakers were poking out beneath the hem of her dress, and it had me comparing the difference in her now to how she dressed for work at my office.
She looked so much younger now in front of me, and I felt a little sick at the reminder of our age gap. I was over ten years older than her, and it was showing badly now with her colorful ensemble and easier connection to children. I didn’t particularly like children, nor did I ever want the responsibility of constantly showing up for one.
I feel stupid for coming here. She was obviously back in her element and doing just fine. I should be back in mine, which is a far cry from hers, further proving my point. We are two very different people, and I had no business being here.
I turn to leave just as she closes the book, smiling at all the children around her, when her eyes look up and instantly lock onto me. Her smile falters, and I try to tell myself it was a good thing. I want her to dislike me, and I want to dislike her. I needed to remind her just how horrible I was, if only to make me quit wanting her. I wasn’t sure it worked that way, but I could try.
Cecilia says her goodbyes to the children and has short conversations with their parents as I stalk around the library, never straying too far from her as I wait for her to finish up. When she’s finally alone, I stick my hands in my pockets and stride toward her, noting how she holds the children’s book tightly against her chest like a shield.
“Hi, babe,” I greet her.
She sighs and meets my gaze with her irritable one. “What are you doing here?”
Her usual cattiness never fails to make me smile. “I thought you’d have missed me.”
“Well, you thought wrong.” She brushes past me, and I follow behind her as she makes her way two shelves over and slides the book back into its spot.
“I’m not so sure about that,” I counter as she quickly tries to walk away from me, heading to her desk.
She leans one arm onto her desk, glaring at me. “What do you want, James? I have work to do.”
“I came to let you know that you’re fired,” I find myself saying, feeling defensive.
She doesn’t respond right away, and after a minute, a tiny giggle bubbles out of her. “Seriously? You came all the way here to tell me that?”
“No,” I reply, but before continuing my charade, I notice a small cut surrounded by a faded bruise on her cheek. “What happened to your face?” I immediately ask, staring at the mark.
She only rolled her eyes like it was no big deal when I was already planning if I had to set my evening aside to remind someone they severely fucked up.
“It’s nothing. It’s just a scratch. It’s pretty much healed now.” I think the deep red cut and yellow-to-purple bruise around it said otherwise. It was apparent she was trying to hide most of it with makeup, so God knows what it looks like bare.
“Babe,” I force politely, attempting a smile, but I could feel my eyes betraying the murderous streak I was feeling course through me. “Who did this to you?”
Her eyes slowly drag to meet mine. “Who said someone did it to me? Maybe I did it to myself by accident.”
“You wouldn’t be avoiding the question if that were the case. Who hurt you?” I was becoming angrier by the second, and if she didn’t answer me soon, I would also become irrational, which didn’t particularly mix well with anger.
She huffs out an irritated breath. “It was my Dad’s wife, okay? It’s not a big deal, and Tobias already lost his shit on her over it, so just let it go, okay? I don’t want to keep being reminded of it.”
I roll my tongue on the inside of my cheek, attempting to calm down. It made me feel slightly better that her brother had her back, and I trusted that he took care of it, but it didn’t make me want to murder the woman any less. I try not to mix women into my bad business, but sometimes they put themselves there. Unfortunately, a woman would have to do something unspeakable to get more of my attention, and although I was pissed off, this wasn’t enough for me to cross my boundaries and target her.
“Are you alright?” I finally ask her.
She made another frustrated noise, and I couldn’t help but smirk because she looked like a little fiery dragon. “I’m fine. Now, can you tell me why you came all the way here so you can leave?”
“I came because I wanted to see you, and now that I have, I’ve decided you’re fired.”
She lifts a brow at that, and a glint lights her eye as the corner of her mouth lifts into a smirk, and it’s like my chest deflated at the lift in tension. “You didn’t want to see me,” she states in disbelief.
“What if I did? How would that make you feel?” I ask curiously.
Her smile fades, and she straightens, her gaze becoming more stone-like. “I feel like that would be silly of you because I said I never wanted to see you again, and I also think my brother would kill you for being here.”
I laugh now. “He probably would.” She smiles, but it quickly falls from her face, and she busies herself with something else on her desk. I tilt my head, observing her more. “Do you really wish never to see me again?”
She pauses for a moment, never looking back at me. “It wouldn’t change anything if I didn’t mean it. You said so yourself.”
I grind my teeth together and tear my gaze away from her. “I never said that.”
“You said we can’t ,” she quotes me, meeting my gaze now. “And that’s fine because you’re right. We can’t because I don’t want that.” Her eyes fall to her desk as she fidgets with the same distraction from before.
I found it interesting that she couldn’t look me in the eye. I had a hunch she was lying to herself and me. “Cecilia,” I say gently, but she cuts me off.
“Thanks for coming to terminate me in person. It was a pleasure,” she bites out, picking the stack of books up off her desk and zipping past me, essentially dismissing me.
She wasn’t getting rid of me that easily, though.
I spin around, following her through the stacks as she puts books back in their proper place. “Do you like working here?” I ask curiously, attempting to change the subject to something lighter.
She gives me a dirty look over her shoulder. “Yes. Why are you still here?”
I ignore her last question. “You did well working with my design team. They actually came up with decent sketches this time around. It made me wonder if you ever had interests in doing anything else.”
She quickly turned down another aisle, but I kept pace with her. “Honestly, I never thought about it. I got the job here right after college, and I loved books so much that I just settled into the job and pretty much lived happily ever after.”
“Ah, but happily ever after usually ends with a Prince Charming, right?” I muse. “Do you have one of those hanging around here?”
She furrows her brows as she looks over to me. “No... I don’t.”
“Then is it really happily ever after?”
“Since when does a woman need a man to have finally made it in life?”
“She doesn’t. I guess what I’m wondering is if you’re happy?”
She stops in the aisle, staring at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Why do you ask me things like that? I find it hard to believe these are your normal topics of discussion.”
“Nothing I say or do equates to normal around you.”
“See, that right there,” she snaps, pointing at me. “You say these things sometimes that sound so… meaningful. It’s hard to know what you’re really saying when you’re not a meaningful person.”
I step closer to her, her energy drawing me in like an undeniable force. “What if I was with you?”
She blinks. Once. Twice. “I don’t believe you.”
“Why not?”
Her breath shudders as I move closer, only a foot away now. “You’re cold and calculated. What could I have done to make you feel anything at all when I’ve been trying to destroy you?”
I reach the tips of my fingers out to graze hers at her side. “Maybe it’s because you’re the first person to look into the darkest parts of me and want to go deeper into the shadows.”
She takes a step back, scoffing at me. “What are you saying right now?”
I grin at her, letting her have her space from me. “What I’m saying, Cecilia, is that maybe you should take a moment and look into the darkest parts of yourself because I think once you do, you’ll find that part of you wants me too.”
She sucks in a breath, not saying anything else as her gaze turns fearful as she stares back at me. I could tell it wasn’t fear of me but fear for herself that what I said possibly carried some truth.
“This is ridiculous,” she breathes out.
I close the distance between us again. “It’s wrong,” I agree.
Her eyes slowly trailed up my body until they met mine. The unashamed way she does it makes a burning need unfurl in the pit of my stomach, and my hands ache to touch her.
“I’m sure my brother has told you to stay away from me. He told me to stay away from you too.”
I pick up her little charm necklace, giving it a gentle tug. “Are you going to listen to him? I’m sure as fuck not.”
She swallows thickly and then takes a small step toward me like she wants to give in to whatever this crazy thing between us is. A presence makes itself known behind her, and I look over her shoulder, seeing that annoying little friend of hers.
She tracks my gaze, looking over my shoulder now, seeing him too. “Lance,” she says in a surprised tone, breaking apart from me. I can feel the anger rolling off his body in waves of heat, and he’s more than fifteen feet from me. She stands straighter now, and I think she can feel it, too.
I move to her side again, staring at…fuck what was his name again?
“I brought you coffee,” he grumbles, handing a sparkly purple cup to her.
She smiles a sweet fucking smile, and I want to kiss it off her face and make it mine only. “Thank you,” she gleams and opens the lid, smelling it. “Minty,” she says awkwardly.
I glanced down at the coffee that looked more like chocolate milk. “What is that?” I ask in disgust.
“It’s coffee,” she quips.
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“Well, I don’t drink mine practically black like you do.”
“How do you drink it?”
“I like thin mint coffee creamer in mine.”
“Thin mint…Girl Scout cookies?”
She nods. “That’s the one.”
I turn up my nose. “Mint and chocolate in your coffee?”
She giggles, and it makes me stand straighter, the sound of it like an electrical shock. I fucking loved it. “It’s really good, but I don’t think you’d like it.”
I stare at her cup and then take it from her. I take the lid off and sip from the edge. She watches me in shock, as does her friend, who looks like royally pissed off and annoyed. I can’t say that I wasn’t enjoying it because…I very much am.
The chocolate coffee floods my mouth and leaves behind a minty flavor once I swallow it. I wince, hating the entire experience, and hand her cup back to her. She laughs now, not a small giggle but a loud, throaty laugh, and I swallow quickly as a smile takes over my face.
“That was disgusting,” I hoarsely tell her.
She presses her lips together, but they fall into another smile. “I love it.”
“Strange,” I point out.
“This is a joke,” her friend snaps under his breath before stomping back in the direction he came from.
Her attention is jerked to him as he makes a scene, and she looks down now as if the life was sucked straight from her. I should kill him for that act alone, but for her sake, I won’t make another scene.
“Well, I have to run,” I tell her, pulling her gaze back to me.
“Oh, right. Okay,” she nods. If I’m not mistaken, it sounds as if she’s disappointed.
I gently smile down at her, lifting her chin with my finger. “You keep this up today, babe.” I look back down at her coffee cup and grimace again, drawing another laugh from her before I leave, feeling more fucked up than I did before coming here.
My mission today failed, and after seeing her, I knew I could never stay away from her again.
I stayed at my home in Boston to feel close to her. I wouldn’t bother her again for a while, knowing she needed her space as much as I did so I could figure out just what the hell I was going to do about this little predicament of ours.
I had to have her. There was no other option. But how do I have her without endangering her life? As if the thoughts in my head needed to become a reality, a knock at my door sounded through the house, and I walked out of my workout room, where I’d spent most of my time since I’d been home, and answered the door.
Tobias is on the other side, slamming my ledger against my chest as he walks into the house.
“You found it?” I ask, surprised.
“I found it last week,” he tells me.
“Last week? Why am I just now getting it back?”
“I wanted to make sure nothing was messed with inside it. I went through every page, and it looks fine.”
“Where did you find it?”
He bites his lip. “I was also using that time to figure out how to tell you that bit.”
I walk toward him carefully, narrowing my gaze on him. “Whys that?”
“Hodge had it and was about to deliver it to Chuck before I intercepted it.”
Rage blasts through me, but I try to remain calm. I needed to stay calm so I could figure out how the fuck that happened and who I needed to kill for letting the likes of them get their hands on it.
“How?” I bite out.
He sighs. “I’m not going to lie to you, but if you have a problem, you can take it up with me. I’m the one you take it out on.”
“Tobias,” I snap. “How?”
He lets out a sharp breath. “Cecilia stole it from my car the night of the launch event. She was in cahoots with Hodge and gave it to him. She did it because he promised her that he could help me.”
Fucking Cecilia.
Just when I think she can’t surprise me anymore, she does. How the hell did she get into contact with Hodge? If I had to guess, the creep probably sought her out and told her everything she wanted to hear.
My sweet, gullible Cecilia.
“Does she know you got it back?”
He nods. “She was actually with me when I got it back.” I furrow my brows in confusion, and he waves a tired hand, walking toward my living room. “It’s a long story.”
He drops onto my sofa, and I sit down in the chair opposite him, anxiety beginning to churn my insides. “If she was with you, then Hodge knows she betrayed him. He could retaliate.”
Tobias nods like he already suspected this. “That’s why I’m back in Boston for a while. I want to keep an eye on her.” Irritation prickles at me because it is the same reason I am here, but that would be hard now that he is on the lookout, too. He groans, dropping his head to the back of the couch as I say nothing, attempting to remain indifferent when, in reality, I just wanted to kill Hodge and Chuck tonight to eliminate the threat to her altogether. “This is exactly why I didn’t want her involved,” Tobias grumbles.
“At least you don’t have to lie to her anymore,” I say, but I don’t think it’s the right thing.
His head swings up off the couch as he looks at me. “I would rather lie to her the rest of my life if it meant she was safe.”
I nod. “Understandable,” I lie because it’s not. I couldn’t lie to her anymore if I tried. She was too smart for it. I respected her too much not to give her the truth if she asked it of me. If she doesn’t ask, then I’ll obviously keep my mouth shut. That’s how I usually operate, but I would lay it all down for her if she did, even if she used it all against me, which is a very big possibility with her. I underestimated her and what she would do with the information she gained. She stole my ledger from her brother, for God’s sake. She was a minx, that one.
I couldn’t hate her for it, though. As much as I wish I could, it only made me want her more. I was sick for her and turned on by the way she kept catching me off guard and undermining me.
Tobias looks over at me, and I feel for him. He looked exhausted. Probably the most exhausted I’d ever seen him, and I’ve seen him in the throes of withdrawals.
“You can stay here if you’d like. Take any of the spare rooms.”
He nods, standing from the couch. “Thanks. I’m gonna go crash,” he says before climbing the stairs to bed.
I opened my phone and texted Marco, my security guard who previously worked at one of my stores but was promoted to personal security. I sent him Cecilia’s address and ordered him to watch out at her place tonight.
Twenty minutes later, he responds that he’s at his post, and I breathe a little easier, if only for the moment.