Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
C ecilia
My life felt like one big catastrophic tornado. Things have quickly spun out of control, and I have no idea where to land. My feelings were confusing, and I didn’t know where to begin making sense of them.
I was feeling things for James, or rather, my body was feeling things for him. I didn’t know which, although I hoped for the latter because I could handle it if it were just my body. It was my heart getting involved that I wouldn’t be able to withstand.
I try to remind myself of all the bad things he’s done, but when I try to think about it, I haven’t truly witnessed anything horrible despite hearing of some of his questionable antics. Not seeing firsthand his criminal ways makes it a lot harder to remind myself that he’s not a good person.
His touch and sinful words were becoming dangerous in a way that slowly made me forget about how I came to know him and made me want to get to know him more instead. He says I’m an enigma, but he’s the real one here because I was slowly discovering that he was much more profound beneath his cold, heartless facade. He was slowly but surely chipping away at the carefully built wall I’d been trying to keep between us.
I’m on my way to work when, for the hundredth time today, I feel like someone is watching me. I glance over my shoulder again, as I have done all day, but I don’t see anyone.
Awareness prickles against my back the minute I turn forward again. I pick up my pace, rush up the stairs to my library, and close myself inside. I glance over to my desk and see Lance’s head pop up from where he’s standing behind it. His eyes find me, and he gives me a tight smile.
Things have been weird since I’ve been back home with Lance. It felt like we were at a crossroads with each other—one I didn’t want to cross, but he did. After our arcade date of sorts, it was clear he wanted it to be something more, and I quickly ended it with a hug, and my door shut with him on the other side of it. Then he saw James here yesterday, and he’s been a grouch ever since then.
I walk carefully to my desk and set my stuff on top of it. “Good morning,” he says, and I smile politely.
“Good morning.”
“So, we got a good response back about the book club. I emailed you a copy of all the sign-ups so far.”
“That’s fantastic,” I chime excitedly. “Hopefully, we can get it going soon.”
“I don’t see why not.”
I smile, liking the flow between us so far, but it’s as if he senses it and has to ruin it immediately. “So, what did you do last night? That guy didn’t come back around, did he?”
I look down at my desk, unpacking my work bag and setting my coffee cup and phone on top of it. “Uhm, no. It’s not like that with him.”
“Sure looked like it was.”
I shoot my head up, meeting his gaze. “Can we not discuss this?”
“It’s just…you’ve been acting so?—”
“Lance, if you say crazy or weird, I swear I might hurt you.”
He raises his hands in innocence. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry. It’s just…things have felt off between us lately, and I want things to go back to normal.”
“Well, they are. I’m home now, aren’t I?”
“Right, but now he’s poking around. What’s his interest in you anyways?”
Get in line, buddy. I was up all night asking myself that same question.
“It’s nothing. My brother is the only connection between us. That’s it.”
He nods, but he keeps watching me like he’s waiting for me to crack and tell him how James and I sucked each other's faces off outside his club and that it was the best kiss of my life that I can’t stop thinking about no matter how hard I try. But that’s not going to happen. Lance would probably…I actually don’t know how he’d react to that news, but something tells me it wouldn’t be good.
“If you say so,” he chimes.
“I do,” I reply sternly.
He nods and finally makes himself busy in a different part of the library. I hate to say it, but I breathe easier now that I’m away from him again. I hated feeling this way about my own best friend, but he was suffocating me anymore. I also wanted things to return to how they were before, but the future was looking bleak right now. He had a clear expectation regarding our relationship, and I was faltering under the pressure of it.
Thankfully, the rest of the day went by fast since I had pretty much zero seconds to think about anything stress-worthy. I was so busy helping customers, organizing an entire genre of books, and planning some more preparations for my upcoming book club. When I’m done, I see Lance turning the open sign to its closed side.
“You ready to go?” he asks, walking toward my desk.
“Yeah, just a second,” I answer, shutting down my computer. I gather my things and follow him outside the library when I'm done. We walk down the stairs side by side and begin our descent back to our apartments. We’re only a few feet down the sidewalk when he bumps me with his shoulder.
“What?” I chuckle, finding his mouth drawn in amusement.
“I missed you while you were gone,” he says, glancing down at me.
I scrunch up my nose as I peer up at him. “Shut up,” I joke, unsure how to respond.
“I’m serious,” he presses. “You’ve never really been away from me like that before.”
“What am I, your dog?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You know what I mean.”
I think I do, and it makes this all the more uncomfortable. I notice him walking closer to me now, and our hands at our sides brush together. My stomach jolts in panic when they brush a second time, and then the third time they do, he entangles his fingers with mine.
I kept up my pace, trying to ignore the fact we were holding hands. This was so weird.
I glanced at our interlocked hands, staring at them momentarily before looking up at him. He looked relaxed, keeping his gaze ahead as we walked.
I think for a brief second that things could be this way. I could try to see what it would be like if I explored whatever this was with him. He’d be more safe than James ever could be. It would be easy. But the closer we get to our building, the more panic wells inside me, and I rip my hand from his, unable to stand it any longer.
He stops and looks down at me, his face drawn in concern. “What’s wrong?”
“I…uh…I need to go to the drugstore.”
“The drugstore?”
“Yeah, I forgot I needed something.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
“No,” I rush out. “I need to get…tampons,” I lie.
His face morphs into a really annoying expression as if he smells something bad. “Oh, it’s that time of the month,” he says like it’s something gross.
I roll my eyes before responding. “Yup. So, I’m gonna go. Don’t wait up, okay?”
“Okay,” he replies, relenting quicker than I thought he would, but I’m not complaining. I turn back in the direction I came from, deciding I’ll get ice cream or something at the drugstore.
How immature is it that there are still grown men who are disgusted by women’s periods? Just when you think the world has come a long way, sometimes you find yourself thinking, we really haven’t at all, have we?
I’m almost to the drugstore when a dark black car with windows too dark to see inside slowly drives past me and stops just ahead of me. I pause momentarily, curious as to why it’s just stopped. I begin to walk faster, my fight or flight kicking in. That feeling of being watched again hits me hard.
The window rolls down on the car the second I walk past it, and I see Hodge in the driver's seat. The sight of him stops my descent as I stare fearfully into the car. What the hell was he doing in Boston?
“Nice night for a walk,” he calls out, his face turned up with a smug smirk.
“I guess,” I answer, unsure what else to say.
“A drive would be even better.”
Anxiety slams into me. “I think I prefer to walk.”
He chuckles, and then, in a split second, a gun is pointed at my face. “Get in the car, Cecilia,” he demands.
I’m frozen on the sidewalk, but the clicking sound of the gun has my feet springing into action, and I carefully step off the curb and get into the car. My heart is racing now, and my stomach twists in sickening knots. I keep my purse at my side, which I sneak my hand into, hiding it behind the act of putting on my seatbelt. I’m unsure why it’s my first instinct, but I immediately dial James’s number.
I should have called my brother, but the stupid, overprotective sister part of my brain has me shutting that option down completely. Hodge was obviously unhappy with Tobias and me taking back the ledger. I didn’t want Tobias to be any more involved.
I also somehow knew that James would help me. I’m not sure why. I wouldn’t fool myself into thinking he genuinely cared about me like he’s been pretending to, but… something inside me was screaming that he would be my savior.
I see the call connect just as I buckle my seatbelt and set my purse on my lap, my phone sitting atop everything inside. I just pray he stays on the line and can hear us.
“What are you doing in Boston?” I ask Hodge, keeping my voice loud and clear.
He whips the car around the corner, making my seatbelt tighten and slice into my collarbone. I grunt in pain and take a deep breath, looking back at him as he chuckles.
What an asshole.
“You didn’t think I’d just let you and your brother get away with that stunt you pulled now, did you?”
“What are you going to do?” I ask nervously.
“Nothing too bad. Just going to teach your brother a little lesson. If he takes something from me, I’m going to take something from him.”
I swallow in fear and glance into my purse, relieved to see the call still connected.
“Where are you taking me?”
“For a drink,” he answers, turning down a familiar street. He pulls up to a large restaurant, one that I’ve never been to because it looks fancy and very much out of my price range.
“Alexander’s?” I say loudly, hoping James can hear. “What are we doing here?”
“I told you,” he gripes. “Get out of the car.” He exits the car after his demand and slams the door. I climb out of the car on shaky legs and stop, finding him just outside the door. He wraps a hand around my arm and begins aggressively pulling me inside. I stumble to keep up with his pace, but eventually, we make it inside, and I’m confused when I see the restaurant empty.
Dread fills me as the realization hits me that we are alone.
“Where is everyone?”
He chuckles again, the slimy sound of it like nails on a chalkboard. “We have the place to ourselves, doll face.”
He drags me to a table and shoves me down into a chair. A waiter comes by, but he doesn’t pay me any attention. He acts as if I’m nonexistent as he places two wine glasses on the table, pops open a bottle of red wine, and begins pouring some into each glass. He leaves the bottle on the table before disappearing behind the large swinging doors in the back of the restaurant.
Irritation begins to creep over me as I watch Hodge swirl the wine in his glass and sip on it as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“What the hell am I doing here, Hodge? If you’re going to kill me, just do it already.”
He laughs loudly. “I’m not going to kill you, Cecilia. I thought you and I were friends.”
“You were never going to help me,” I shoot back, taking my brother for his word.
He shrugs. “I guess we’ll never know.”
Soft jazz music plays throughout the restaurant, and the lighting turns low. He continues to sip his wine as he smiles deviously at me behind the glass.
“What is this? Some kind of sick rendezvous?”
“I’m waiting,” is all he says.
“Waiting? Waiting for wh—” I don’t get to finish my sentence because I hear someone new approaching us, but when I look over my shoulder, I realize it’s three huge men who don’t look very nice.
“Hodge,” one of them says, his cold stare on him. “Funny to see you out enjoying yourself when we’ve been waiting tirelessly on you.” His accent was recognizably Italian and a new icy feeling slithered through my veins.
I glance at Hodge, whose face is now red despite his attempt to act bravely. I was so confused by what was going on here. If he planned this, why did he look so frightened?
I needed to get the hell out of here like right now.
“I thought we could discuss our predicament,” Hodge says to him, but I don’t miss the way his voice wavers—like he’s attempting confidence, and boy, was he failing.
“Just settle your payment, and we’ll leave you and your lady be,” the man says.
“Uh,” I squeak out, unable to help myself. “I’m not his lady. I just wanted to clarify that in case you thought I was because I’m totally not. I really honestly don’t know him all that well.” They all glare at me now, and I take it as a sign to end my rambling. “You know what, I think I’ll just be going,” I say as I stand up, but the man closest to me shoves me hard back into my seat. “Ow,” I cry out, rubbing my shoulder.
“No one’s going anywhere until he pays up. It’s been long enough, Hodge. I want my money now.”
“I don’t have it. I’ll have it soon. Just give me another extension, and I’ll get it to you.” He’s practically begging at this point, and I’ve seen enough mafia movies to know that this isn’t going to end well. I can’t believe I ever partnered with him in the first place. I could tell he was a slimeball at our first meeting, but I was so desperate, and now look where it got me.
The man in front of Hodge lashes his hand out, backhanding him in the face, making me jump. “You’re out of time. Either pay now or face the consequences.”
“How much money do you need? Maybe I could spot you?” I rush out, my voice shakier than I realized.
“He owes fifteen grand,” the guy spits out. He sounded and looked heartless like negotiations or mercy were completely off the table.
“Fifteen grand?” I yelp and then look over to Hodge. “Why would you drag me here knowing they would show up? I don’t have that kind of money.” I tried to be loud but not overly noticeable, praying James was still on the line and coming for me. I wasn’t sure why, but I trusted that he would. It was the only thing keeping me together right now.
“Someone needs to pay, or neither of you is leaving here,” the man says with a snarl.
I narrow my gaze on him. “Listen, I don’t want any trouble. I hardly know him, so I’m not sure why I—” A pained gasp rips from my throat as the guy beside me rips at my hair, pulling my head back to meet his gaze.
“I don’t give a fuck who you are. If you’re dumb enough to keep company with Wiseman, then it’s your fault you’re caught in the crossfire. He owes me money.”
“This isn’t right. I don’t even know who you are,” I cry, still trying to gain any information I could.
The man near Hodge walks toward me, and I stiffen in fear. He had a powerful air about him. He was eyeing me like I was bloodied meat, and he was the shark. He had longer, curlier hair that curled around his ears and light green snake-like eyes. He wasn’t overly muscular, but I could sense he wasn’t weak. He was terrifying.
“I’m Dante Amato. It’s nice to meet you, Cecilia,” he muses like he knew the fact he already knew my name would scare me shitless.
He was right. I was scared shitless.
“How do you know my name?”
He laughs as Hodge starts blubbering again. “Let me make it up to you, Dante. You can have her,” Hodge whimpers, pointing to me. I swear my eyes literally bug out as he says it. “Take her and do whatever you want if it buys me some time.”
“No,” I murmur, but it’s weak as my heart begins to race.
“The money is what I want,” Dante snarls, barreling back toward Hodge and snatching him by his shirt collar.
“She is pretty,” the other man next to me comments as his finger twirls into my hair. I shut my eyes as fear finally slammed into me in full force. I could only pray that James somehow found me in time.