As the World Falls

Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

C ecilia

“I’m not getting out of the car,” I snap to Tobias. He holds the car door open, waiting not so patiently for me to get out. I don’t know what planet he was living on these days, but he and James were both delusional if they thought I would stay here.

I appreciated where they were coming from while worrying for my safety, and even more so, I appreciated all my brothers' complete transparency. Although I had already figured it all out on my own, which is why I’m in this mess, it didn’t change the fact that I was not going into that house.

I glance over at the front of the building. Two giant double doors with scary monstrous faces on them and knockers hanging from their mouths stare back at me alongside James, leaning against said doors with an amused expression.

He’s worn that exact face practically all night. I wanted to smack it right off him.

Apparently, he finds my discomfort funny. I didn’t understand why he was being as incessant as my brother. I was finally leaving him alone like he wanted in the first place, yet here he is, intervening in parts of my life that he isn’t wanted anymore. The sad part of it all, though, was despite wanting to move on from all of this, being even remotely tugged back into the vicinity of James felt like returning to a place where my soul craved to belong. It was always madness being around him, but I realized I severely liked it.

“Get out of the car, Cecilia,” Tobias demands with his assertive voice that doesn’t scare me whatsoever.

“I am not getting out of the car. I don’t have any of my stuff, and… this place is ridiculous. I mean, look at it. It’s almost bigger than his ego. I’ll get lost inside.” I hear James laugh, which only infuriates me even more.

I glanced at the dark stone mansion once again. It was definitely more than three stories, hidden behind wrought iron gates covered in weeds and ivy, out of sight from public view. I didn’t even realize Boston had such properties like this here, but apparently, they do, and of course, James owns one of them. It was like it was straight from a dark fairytale.

Tobias groans in frustration, and I cross my arms over my chest, leaning against the back seat of his car. “I will go to your apartment and get your things. Get out of the car.”

“No. Take me home.”

“You’re leaving me no choice here.”

“I’m not giving you one. I appreciate the honesty, but I highly doubt a public politician is going to off me.” At least, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself ever since they brought the details of Mayor Fireux’s involvement with Dante to my attention.

Tobias looks up at the sky like he’s sending up a prayer, then curses under his breath before ducking into the car, ripping me from the vehicle, and tossing me over his shoulder. “Tobias!!” I thrash against him. “Put me down. Put me down right now, you beast.” He moved easily to the mansion's front doors as if my beating on his back were playful pokes. It was weird, my brother being so filled out and meaty now. I obviously preferred it to the sickly frail shape he used to have, but at this very moment, I wasn’t impressed.

“Lovely. It’s about time,” James grumbles as we meet his side. He opens the doors, letting Tobias walk inside, still holding me against my will.

James walks in behind us, and I scowl at him. He grins back at me. “Welcome home,” he mouths quietly.

Anger floods me, and I kick hard in my fit, my foot meeting Tobias’s knee, making him drop me as his leg momentarily gives out. I fall straight to the hard granite floor, my tailbone feeling as though it shatters against it. “Son of a bitch,” I mutter in pain.

“Fuck me,” Tobias groans, rubbing his knee.

“Can you two please refrain from acting like children in my house?” James snaps at us.

“She started it,” Tobias grumbles, making my head snap in his direction.

“I started it? You guys practically kidnapped me after dinner.”

“It’s for your own good,” James relents. He walks over to me, holding his hand out to me. I sneer up at him from the floor but reluctantly take his hand as he carefully lifts me from the floor. “Are you alright?” he asks, his voice lower than usual, making me wonder if he doesn’t want my brother to hear his concern for me. I hated how much I liked his secret caring side.

“I’ll be better once I’m home.”

“As of now, you are home,” he murmurs before dropping my hand from his like it burned him. He turns away quickly and walks deeper into his house. Then Tobias follows behind him, so I do the same because I was a little curious about what James’s home was like.

It was dark. Once we reached the living area, the place was warmed with golden accents everywhere and warm brown leather furniture against chocolate wood flooring. There was a giant dark stone fireplace just across from the furniture, and the wall on the opposite side was made with floor-to-ceiling built-in shelves adorned with knickknacks and so—many—books.

“Wow,” I breathe out in amazement. “It’s actually beautiful.” It was almost bordering too bachelor for my taste, but there were so many touches to the decor that pulled it away from the realm, like his raw crystal decor that glistened on the shelves or the exposed crystal on the inside center of the coffee table in the middle of the room. There was even a sparkling crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling that helped give everything a classy, feminine touch.

“I’m glad you like it. Your bedroom is very similar. All the rooms are,” James says.

I drop my shoulders, suddenly feeling exhausted after everything tonight. “You guys really can’t expect me to stay here. This is all getting out of hand. First, I bludgeon a guy with the heel of my shoe to get back your ledger, and then I’m accosted by Hodge plus three terrifying mob members, one of whom is killed right in front of my face. Then the freaking mayor stalks me at the library, and now you’re telling me I have to live here?”

“What do you mean you bludgeoned someone to get back my ledger?” James quickly asks, looking from me to Tobias.

Tobias shrugs, his mouth frowning in fake innocence. “It was a little mishap. Not a big deal.”

“You had the nerve to get mad at me for saving her from that restaurant, and yet you take her on a stake out and let her use her godforsaken heels to bloody maim someone?”

“She was supposed to be waiting in the car,” Tobias defends.

I can’t help but laugh, and both of their eyes fall back onto me. “This is ridiculous. You all realize that, right?”

James's eyes soften on me. “Your safety is the last thing that is ridiculous, Cecilia.”

“He’s right,” Tobias adds. “Please just let us figure everything out for a little while, and then you can go home when it’s safe. Please, for me. You’re all I have left, Lia.”

Tears burn my eyes, and I tear my gaze away from him. I focus on the bottom shelf along the floor, which has a book titled in French. I chose this moment to try to understand French, something I know nothing of, but it does an excellent job of keeping me from crying. Finally, I swallow the knot in my throat and look back at him. “Fine, but I have to go to work. You can’t expect me to leave my job.”

Tobias smiles, bouncing on his heels in happiness, making me break out into one of my own because I feel like I never see him smile enough. “That’s fine. We’ll have security escort you and keep close.”

My wide gaze bounces between him and James, who remain completely serious. “You’re joking, right? I don’t actually need security to follow me around, right?”

James chuckles. “We are not joking. Consider yourself always having eyes on you from this point forward.”

It’s like his gaze sears into me as he says that, and I rub my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to rub away the goosebumps he’s left me with. “Fine, but I won’t go longer than two weeks, so you guys better figure out your issues. This all just…” I scowl at Tobias now for the career path he chose in life. “This is just craziness.” I feel like I’ve declared my life crazy a thousand times since my brother returned and brought James into my life.

He chooses to laugh now, which is making me more irritated. “I had to swap one for the other.”

“Apparently so,” I mumble, looking around the extravagant room again.

“Text me with things you want from your apartment. I’m going to head there now and grab some things.”

“Fine,” I gripe, pulling my phone out. “Oh, if you see Lance… don’t tell him about this.”

“Got it,” Tobias responds, pressing a quick kiss to my temple as he heads out of the house. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

I wave him off and turn back to face James, who is watching me closely. “What?” I finally snap.

He shrugs. “I just find it curious.”

I roll my eyes. “Find what curious?”

“You seem to hide a lot from the man you call your best friend.”

“It’s for his protection.”

“Ah, how noble of you.”

“Unlike other people I know.”

He slowly walks toward me, his gaze never straying from mine. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you seem to keep dragging me back into your life when I want no part of it.”

“You mean the life that you so forcefully shoved yourself into? The life that, no matter how much you hate to admit it, you can’t stay away from?” He’s standing only a few feet from me now, and I can feel his pulling energy again. It’s suffocating like usual but in a warm blanket kind of way that I missed being wrapped up in.

“I got what I wanted from you,” I lie. I don’t think it would ever truly be enough. “I solved your so-called labyrinth. It was full of nothing but deceit and corruption around every corner. I don’t want to be in it any longer.”

He takes another step closer. “But you’re smack dab in the middle of it, Cecilia. You always are, and you can’t get out.”

I swallow hard, my body filling with a mixture of anxiety and pure, unbridled need for him to take another step closer. To feel his hands on me again because they felt so good. “You’re wrong,” I attempt to say, but it lacks strength.

He closes any distance between us, and I sigh in relief at having him so close. He smiles down at me, and it’s one I haven’t seen before. It’s not a smirk of amusement or a grin of mischievousness. It’s a purely happy smile. It was beautiful.

“I’ve missed you, my Cecilia.”

My stomach dips as it feels like a million butterflies take flight inside me. “Well, I didn’t miss you.”

He chuckles lowly. “Say what you want. We both know you did. I’ll just be the first to admit it.”

“You’re delusional.”

His hands carefully wrap around my waist, keeping me close to him. “So you say.”

His eyes watch me closely, and looking into each one is like looking into both sides of him. His warm brown one reminds me of his shocking softness and the gentle care that he takes with me. Then, his icy grey one reminds me of his cold exterior, which showcases his ruthlessness and violent tendencies. They were in constant battle with each other and have now waged their wars inside my heart.

I pull away from him, my feelings suddenly too overwhelming to bear. “Could you show me to my room? I’ll wait for my brother there.”

He instantly returns his hands to his pockets and nods at the floor. “Of course,” he murmurs so low I barely hear him. “Follow me up the stairs.”

I woke up the next day, begrudgingly, I might add. I hated to admit it, but this bed was luxurious and the most comfortable bed I’d ever slept on. The big, fancy, regal-looking curtains that hung from the windows were drawn shut, casting the room in pure darkness despite seeing the cracks of shining sun behind them. I could stay in this bed and sleep in the darkness all day.

Unfortunately, I had things to do, like brunch with my brother. After returning with my things last night, he stayed behind for a while, and we made plans. He would stay at my apartment for now, ensuring no one came around and keeping an eye on Lance per my request. He wanted to stay close to me today since he was already in town, which I was okay with because it meant more time with him, which I hadn’t gotten in years.

This whole situation was strange to me, and I didn’t care for it much. However, it was nice having my brother in town for an extended period that was more than three days. Living with James, though, I could do without it.

I didn’t see him for the remainder of the night. He had made himself scarce down the hall. My bedroom was a few doors down from his since he wanted me on the same floor just in case anything were to happen. Knowing I was sleeping so close to him brought on a number of feelings that I was trying my best to ignore. My stomach had an ache in it all night that begged to be closer to him. To lay against his body again and feel the warmth that he keeps buried inside. The warmth that I think he only lets me feel.

All I could think about was the way he kissed. It was like he used every fiber of his being to make you feel what he had to offer. It’s the kind of kiss that electrifies your nerves and short-circuits them so no one else can make them feel again.

If I were to live here, I would have to keep my distance from him for my own sanity.

I force myself out of bed, instantly going to the windows and opening the curtains to let in sunlight. My gaze falls onto the outside, and my breath escapes me at the sight before me.

There was a small cobblestone patio with a complete outdoor furniture set, but that wasn’t quite it. It was what lay behind the giant rose bushes just behind the patio.

A maze.

It was made up of tall, dark green hedges and looked like it went on and on for acres into the distance. Staring at it felt daunting and a little terrifying, but it was beautifully haunting, nonetheless.

I was starting to think James has a thing for mazes. He always refers to our little challenges between each other as a metaphorical one. Then his company is named Labyrinth. I felt like there was something to it, but I didn’t know what.

After showering and brushing my teeth, I opened one of the suitcases that Tobias had brought me and instantly rolled my eyes. It was full of dresses, sweaters, and my entire leggings drawer. Knowing him, he picked the easiest form of clothing and chucked it all in. All of my cute, eccentric outfits were probably so lonely back in my apartment.

I grabbed the first one I saw, a casual black velvet dress. It was short, with long fanned-out sleeves, and had a V-neck that hugged my chest with ribbons hanging down it. The rest of the dress hung loosely beneath it in a shaggy drapery. It was one of my favorite fall dresses. It made me feel like a witch.

I braid my hair back out of my face and crack the door open, peeking my head out. There was no sign of James anywhere, so I released my breath and ventured into the house. I walked down the stairs, choosing to head to the kitchen for water while I waited for Tobias, but a grunting noise on the way caught my attention.

I slowly creep up to an open doorway on the bottom floor near the back of the house, far away from the kitchen, where I should be, but I’m here, following the beastly noises I hear like a real genius.

I carefully peek inside the room, trying to hide behind the door frame. It’s filled with workout equipment and floor-to-ceiling windows along the right wall that look out into the back garden, where his maze resides. But my gaze snags on the bare chest, glistening with a light sheen of sweat. James is lying on his back on a workout bench, lifting weights above his head. I watch ensnared at his pectoral muscles bulge along with his biceps as he lifts the weights repeatedly, never tiring.

The full scale of his bare arms and the kinds of muscles he hid under his suits and button-downs were enough to make my mouth go dry and somewhere a little more down south to get wetter.

He finally rests the weights on the bar above his head, and I realize he’s sitting up now. I quickly turn away as I hear his voice call out to me. “Don’t bother hiding, babe. I’ve known you were there the entire time.”

I wince and slowly turn back to face him, standing in the doorway. “I was just trying to find the kitchen,” I admit. He grins and stands now, and my gaze falls down his chest, all the way to his deep V-line and the low waistline of his black sweatpants.

It was a sight to behold.

“I can tell,” he responds with a cocky tone. “You look absolutely ravenous.”

I feel my cheeks heat, and I look away from him, focusing on my feet, which I wish were leading me out of the room. So, I change the subject instead. “I see you have an actual maze outside,” I note, looking out the window. “I didn’t think you actually had one to be solved right in your backyard.”

He glances outside, then looks back at me. “You noticed that, huh?”

I lean against the door frame and cross my arms over my chest. “So, you have a thing for mazes or something? What’s the story there?”

He looks me up and down. “You really want to know?” I shake my head, but I find myself saying yes instead. I shouldn’t want to know, but I do. I always want to know anything about him.

“I’m sure you’ve made the connection to my company, Labyrinth,” he says, and I nod, causing him to smirk in approval. “A labyrinth is a difficult or unique structure or passage. Hard to solve. Essentially, that is what my life had become when my father took me overseas and dropped me off, hoping I’d never find my way back to him. After that, I became obsessed with the idea of solving mazes. I’d get board games or get lost in the woods as a child. I wanted to figure my way out of anything. I wanted to challenge my brain to solve and remember. Over and over. Eventually, I needed to achieve any of the goals I’d set for myself so that one day, I could find him again—my father. I wanted to track him down with no help but my own to prove to him that I was good enough, even if I became a little obsessed along the way. I wanted to prove that I had survived and always would.”

I fought to keep my eyes from misting over, but it was a losing battle. His story was so raw and pain-filled, and it broke my heart for him. To think of James as a child, working so hard to solve these problematic quests or games, some he even created himself to prove himself to his absent father and find him again. It was just another piece of himself that he gave me that made him that much harder to resist.

He smiles, taking one step in my direction. “I could recite to you every which way to get to London from this very house. Every street you take. Every state you travel over. Every city and body of water you cross. Whether it’s a bus, train, plane, or a damn spaceship, I could tell you everything. I know it all. I remember everything.”

“That sounds exhausting.”

He shrugs carelessly. “I find peace in it now.”

I swallowed hard as I asked the question that felt too deep to pry into, but I could never help myself. “Did you ever find him again?”

He pauses for a moment, his eyes casting downward. “I did. At Woolwich Cemetery.”

“Oh,” I murmur. I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to reach out to him, but I couldn’t. The restrictions between us felt heavier and heavier by the second.

“He was a businessman, only made enough to get himself by. He died of liver failure from alcoholism,” he relents.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not. I know the truth.”

I sigh. “Why are you telling me all of this so easily?”

He walks toward me, and I try really, really hard to keep my eyes on him and not on his very bare chest, which I very much want to glide a finger down. “Because I want you to know me. Because you’re the one thing I can’t solve in my life. Because you drive me to madness, Cecilia.”

“Madness,” I repeat in a whisper, knowing that feeling all too well.

He stops just in front of me, placing one hand on the door frame beside my head and leaning into me. “Why have you been ignoring all my calls and texts?”

I try not to look directly into his eyes. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“After having so much before? Have you already given up on me so easily?”

His words claw at my chest. “I can’t have any part of your lifestyle anymore, James. It isn’t normal. It’s dangerous. It’s best to keep some distance between us.”

He leans slightly closer, and despite having just worked out, he smells fresh and earthy. I liked it way too much, but I didn’t find myself moving away like I knew I should. “Like right now?” he murmurs, his gaze falling to my mouth before meeting my eyes again. “This kind of distance?”

My heart thunders in my chest, a beat urging me to close the distance between us that it’s been craving. I want to feel his lips, taste him again, and be so wrapped up in him that I can’t see the shadows lurking behind him.

“Well, this whole ordeal was kind of against my will,” I remark, my voice barely audible.

He lifts his hand, his fingers resting on my chin as his thumb grazes over my bottom lip, pulling it down and letting it pop back into place. “So, you’d have never spoken to me again if it weren’t for practically kidnapping you?”

“No,” I lie.

He smirks again. “What if I told you again how much I wanted to be yours? Would you speak to me then?”

Somehow, my heart beats wilder. I’m so warm with him in front of me like this, saying things like that. It was everything I wanted and didn’t at the same time. “I…I don’t believe you,” I tell him.

“Hmm,” he hums, his gaze roaming down me. His hand drops from my chin, and he uses it to play with the hem of my dress until it’s balled in his fist, and he’s slowly pulling it up, exposing my thighs beneath it. “What if I showed you?”

My blood turns hot, muddying my thoughts and logic, and I find myself leaning closer to him now. “Sh-show me how?”

He presses his palm to my thigh, the fabric beneath creating a barrier so that his skin isn’t directly touching mine. I hated it, but it felt so good at the same time. His hand pushed the dress up until it rested so close to my intimate spot, just barely exposing me. He was doing nothing and so much at once. I was breathing heavily, silently begging in my head for him to take me and use me however he wanted.

“Do you feel that?” he asks.

“Feel what?” My voice is so breathy, which would embarrass me if I wasn’t so turned on right now.

“You’re so warm, babe. You can’t catch your breath. You barely have any control left, and I’ve only just caressed your skin over your clothes. That’s how I feel just looking at you. That’s how much I want you.”

I shut my eyes, reveling in his hands on me while his words float over me. He balls my dress in his fist again and pulls it up until my lower half is exposed. He steps into me, forcing me back against the door frame. I feel the cool wood against the back of my thighs as it stops me from moving further. He makes a deep growling noise in the back of his throat as he stares between our bodies pressed together, mine more exposed than it should be.

“Why aren’t you stopping me?” He murmurs, his voice guttural and hungry.

“I don’t know,” I whisper shamefully.

He smiles at that. “Are you going to stop me if I kiss you right now?”

“I should.”

“But will you, my Cecilia?” I nod weakly, letting him lean closer as his smile widens. He moves past my mouth, where I thought he’d test his theory, but stops at my ear instead. “Liar,” he whispers darkly. Goosebumps race down my arms and legs as I fall deeper under his spell. He pulls back and lifts my chin with his finger as he does, angling my mouth toward his. “Stop me,” he demands.

I can’t move. I could feel my body surrendering to him, and I was helpless to do anything but comply.

Then his lips are on mine. It’s soft and light, unlike anything I’ve felt with him before. I press harder into his lips, searching for what I knew he could give, and I find it when a groan rips from his throat, and his hand drops from my chin and latches around my throat, slamming me tightly against the wall as his mouth devours mine, his tongue forcing my mine apart and tasting me.

The doorbell rings, and my eyes snap open, meeting his, which seems to cast over in darkness when the bell rings again. I rip away from him, my dress falling back down my legs as I do.

“I’m sorry. This was…we can’t do this,” I rush out, backing into the hallway.

He bites his bottom lip like he was restraining himself from exploding. “How long will you deny yourself of this thing between us?”

The doorbell rings again, and I become more anxious as I move toward it, my eyes unable to look away from his hurt ones. “I’m sorry,” I tell him again. Then I turn away, leaving him alone as I go to the door where Tobias is being let inside by someone I assume is part of security.

“Jeez, what the hell were you doing? I rang like ten times,” he grumbles.

“It was only three,” I mumble distracted. It felt like I was standing here without my heart because my heart was right where I left James standing by himself.

Tobias raises his eyebrows at me. “What were you doing?” He looks over my shoulder. “Where’s James?”

“How should I know?” I rush out.

He rears his head back slightly. “I was just wondering. Jeez, relax.”

“I’m sorry. Can we go? This place bums me out.”

“Sure,” he says hesitantly.

I looked over my shoulder once more before leaving, sure I heard the sound of weights smacking down on the bar again. Still, I left despite it getting harder and harder to walk away from him each time I did.