Chapter Sixteen
Callum
Ithink I dozed off in that horrible place, because time has no meaning when you’re sitting in the silence, the dark, oppressive silence.
It magnifies things and shrinks them all at once.
Minutes could pass or hours, or days. It could be a small room, a huge room, an infinite cosmos, or yeah, a box.
Was I in a dark box? Was I even alive? How long had it been, how long since I’d eaten?
How long since I’d been for a pee. I was thirsty as hell, and that was the bigger problem, because a person can’t last long without water.
You know the weird part? I considered praying for rescue, for strength, for all the things I’m supposed to look to the Lord for, but I didn’t.
What does that say about me, that even in this dark (literally) and terrifying time, that I didn’t fall back on my faith?
I had faith, right? Hadn’t I been so sure, so fervent in my beliefs, that I should have been begging Him for help, for something?
Or was it more that I knew He would never give me something I couldn’t handle?
Does He believe I can handle whatever Ash does? Can I?
Noise somewhere in the darkness made me tense up, straightening my aching back, as I fought to see something in the darkness.
Anything would be nice. Was it Ash? Was he finally coming for me?
Sneaking in through the pitch black nothingness to kill me?
I think I’d be ready for that right now, because this is hellish.
The not knowing. The lack of anything to break the blankness.
It felt like I’d gone blind, and maybe I had.
Maybe that was my penance for what I did to him, even though my uncle would have me believe that God approved of such measures, to keep us from being filthy deviant sinners.
A muffled thud, and a soft groan, followed the brief sounds of motion, and then silence fell again. What was happening? Was it Ash? Was he hurt?
“Ash?”
Silence. I was straining so hard to hear something in the gaping dark hole I was in, that my ears were making a rushing sound, or was that my heart?
“Ash, dammit? Are you okay?” I started to crawl forward, not knowing where it might take me, but listening for sounds of life, of pain, of a human in need of help.
There was another soft groan, and I moved on my knees to listen for another sign of life, so I could move there. Was the room big or small? I couldn’t remember, but if I crawled forward, I’d reach something eventually.
“Ash! Can you hear me? Do you need help?”
A sudden crackle of sound made me freeze again.
“So cute, pretending like you give a shit about my wellbeing.” What the hell?
If he wasn’t in here, then who the fuck was?
What if it was some deadly predator he’d put in here to kill me?
I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breath.
Stop thinking up crazy scenarios, you moron.
Of course he wouldn’t do anything that insane.
Kidnap me and lock me in the box of doom, sure, but put something in here to kill me? That’s too crazy, right?
“Ash, what’s going on?”
“Do you want to live?” What kind of a question is that?!
“Of course I fucking do! Let me out of here.”
Ash chuckled quietly, and then the lights suddenly blazed bright, and I covered my eyes again, gasping through the sudden shock of seeing again. I’m not blind, at least, even though I think he just fucking blinded me out of spite!
“Then all you have to do is fight your way out.”
What? I squinted against the light, trying to see what he’d left me here with.
An animal? Something that would tear me apart?
Wait. There was definitely someone else in the room, a curled up form on the hard tiles, with tousled dark blonde hair covering their face.
A chill ran down my spine as I recognised that hair. No.
I cast my eyes frantically around the room. “Ash! This is insane, let me out right now!”
“You heard what I said. One way out. Fight or kill, I don’t care which. One of you gets out when the other dies. It’s that simple.”
He can’t be serious! This can’t be something he thinks we’ll actually do!
“Ash, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m not doing this, and she’s not doing this! People don’t DO this!”
He made a low growly kind of sound, like I’d really pissed him off.
“They do drug and rape poor trusting gay kids though, so clearly you guys have your own set of rules. I know this breaks a commandment or something, but I don’t care. It’s fucking simple… you kill or you die.”
I folded my arms, sitting back on my ass like a kid refusing to go to school, or do his homework.
“Fuck you.”
“You could have had that, yeah. Instead you chose this. Not sure you’re getting the point here, so let me drive it home.
Nobody leaves or enters that room until someone in there is dead.
Let that sink in. I’m not coming in. Nobody is coming in.
That means no food, no water, no toilet, no anything.
Kill or die, Cal. Welcome to my world now, choir boy.
One way or another, the person you think you are dies in that room. ”
The static of his sound system died off again, and I was left in silence, except for Elizabeth’s soft breathing, and the occasional groan from her. What had happened to her already? Why was-
The wall suddenly slid open, something crashed onto the tiles with a metallic clang, and I lifted my eyes, just in time to see a dark haired guy who wasn’t Ash or his dad. The guy smirked at me.
“Have fun with the killing!”
The wall slid closed again, and the room was, once more, a white tiled box that I was clearly supposed to die in.
It was too bizarre for words. I knew Ash and his family were a little unusual, but this was just insane.
Locked in a room together? With… with a knife so big it looked like a short sword?
What the hell did they think we’d do with it?
Elizabeth suddenly gasped and sat up, one hand going to her head, as she groaned and swayed slightly, almost going from sitting back to prone on the floor.
“What…”
“Yeah, been there,” I said quietly, watching as her head shot up again, and she spotted me.
“Callum? What on earth… I was talking to a man… I, uh… he said he was a teacher, something about collaborating… how, uh, what’s going on?”
I gestured around us. “Turns out hell isn’t fire, it’s this.
Nothingness, whether it’s bright light or pitch darkness.
” Almost as if someone was listening, the room was plunged into almost blissful darkness, and Elizabeth screamed, making rustling sounds as she probably tried looking for an impending threat.
A few seconds later, the lights burned bright again and we both winced.
“Ash, you’re a prick!” I yelled out, and Elizabeth gasped.
She moved over to sit against one of the cool walls, and yeah, it might help her to stay upright, but she’d soon need to move from the cold surface.
That was the other issue in here. No heating.
What’d kill us first if we didn’t use that knife?
The cold? Dehydration? Or would madness hit first?
“Ash did this to us? Why?”
Why indeed, like somehow she couldn’t see the wrong in what we did. Like somehow she didn’t realise she was the real deviant among us. This was all down to her and my uncle, but how many poor guys like us did they fuck up, with their zealotry?
“Only one of us gets to live,” I said quietly, pointing at the knife, which was now closer to her than me.
Should that fact have worried me? If she was willing to use young men who didn’t like women, just so she could claim to be this saver of souls, wouldn’t she just as easily run me through, just to gain her freedom?
“That’s insane. Why would anyone kill someone just because a crazy, confused boy demanded it?
” Typical of her. Crazy and confused. The exact words they’d used to describe me when I was first sent to my uncle’s when I was fifteen.
The same age I was when she forced herself on me, to prove that I could be straight after all.
How the hell did I end up doing the same to Ash? Could I really blame my experience with her for making me think I could pretend to be straight? For thinking I could gift the same horrified delusion to another man? Maybe I was the evil one this whole damn time.
“Crazy? Confused? Just because he doesn’t like fucking women?
You know, what’s wrong with you goes far beyond the fact that you don’t have a dick.
You’re wrong on the inside, and you know it!
” I snapped at her, my cheeks flushing red with shock and embarrassment.
I shouldn’t speak to an elder like that, even the woman who raped me.
Elizabeth shook her head at me, that simpering fucking smile on her face, like I was just proving her point about him, and about me.
“That’s no way to talk to a woman, Callum. You know better than this. You know you needed help, and we helped you. You were desperate when you moved in with Gordon, you know you needed our help to correct your bodily confusion.”
Bodily confusion. “Fuck you, you disgusting fucking molester of children. This is why we’re here. This is… if you hadn’t… FUCK!”
She tutted quietly, and I eyed that blade.
Would I have the courage to use it on her?
Could I ever harm another human being? If it came down to it, and my only choice was that or dying of dehydration, could I take that step, knowing there was no way back?
If I wasn’t bound for hell yet, that one act would guarantee it.