Chapter 36 #2
Rynna’s brows furrowed. He still wasn’t talking about the fire.
“Yes, Commander,” Henry acknowledged, though his lips pressed into a firm line.
“Calli, join the other far-seers and find me Skarn. We don’t have many left, but they should be able to help you.” Fenn’s palm slammed against the table, rattling the maps. “We end this before more of our people die.”
“Yes, Commander.” Calli bowed and quickly left the tent.
“What of the traitor?” Arthur’s eyes turned toward Kaelith.
Fenn’s gaze was distant. “Awakened Rynna can continue overseeing him. I’ll deal with the apprentice when we find him.”
Her jaw dropped, pain flooding her as realization hit. He’s cutting me out.
“Yes, Commander.” Arthur and Henry bowed in unison, turning their focus back to the map. The young man glanced over his shoulder. “Find the quartermaster. He’ll set you up with something for the night. Plenty of empty tents.”
Fenn’s back was already to her as he added, “I’ll be making the rounds.” He didn’t meet her eyes, didn’t even glance her way as he strode out of the tent.
He doesn’t deserve you. Kaelith’s voice slithered into her mind, soft yet laced with anger.
Rynna spun on him, fury bubbling within her, ready to explode. But before the words could escape her, she caught the curious eyes of the other men flicking upward.
She forced herself calm. “Just find the quartermaster and a place to rest for the night.”
Her lungs constricted; she was in a free fall through a void she couldn’t control. Part of her wanted to blame Kaelith, but deep down, she knew.
I deserve this.
“As you wish,” he said, his eyes lingering on her for a moment longer. “Find me when you’re ready.”
Rynna burst out of the command tent, doubled over as her fist dug into her stomach. She needed space, needed air, but everywhere she turned, more Hollow-born and soldiers crowded her vision, their faces worn, their bodies coated in the essence of death.
Her pace quickened, her feet moving faster than her thoughts, as she searched for a place, any place, where she could shut her eyes and smother the rising wail clawing its way up her throat.
The tents around her began to thin, fewer soldiers milling about, and soon the ground was littered with forgotten equipment and discarded personal items. A helmet here, a torn cloak there, remnants of lives abandoned.
The camp is shrinking, she thought, her eyes darting over the scattered remains. Contracting towards Command as more people die.
She kept moving, but the dead space around her grew wider, sprawling into a haunting stillness. So many lives lost. Too many.
She slowed.
To lead in a situation like this, to watch your soldiers fall day after day with no hope of relief...it would be torture. And for someone like Fenn, who fought for his people with every fiber of his being, who loved them like family, it would be the worst kind of torment.
She ached for him and the toll this war must be taking on his soul.
There.
The man who had just dismissed her from his heart stood ahead, his dark hair catching what little light remained as he stared up at the clouded sky.
A flash of distant lightning illuminated his face, revealing the tears trailing down his cheeks, only to disappear into the top of his mask even as the drops began to fall harder.
“Fenn.” Her voice cracked as she stumbled to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his back. His body felt heavy, burdened by an invisible weight she couldn’t lift. “I’m sorry I left you to face this alone.”
“I asked you to.” His voice was hollow.
“But I should have said no.”
He exhaled. “Why are you here?”
The question sent a jolt through her, and she pulled away just enough to spin him around, forcing him to face her. “How can you ask that?”
“Not here, in the camp, delivering the message.” His head hung low. “Here...now, with me. Instead of...”
“I know what you meant, Fenn.” Her sorrow burned hotter, inching closer to anger.
The man couldn’t possibly be this stupid, could he?
“If you want me to go, just say it.” Her hand jabbed out, grasping his chin and jerking his face toward hers.
“But I know you can’t possibly think so little of me, of us, that you believe I won’t fight for you. ”
His eyes flashed with pain. “I saw the way you looked at him, Rynna,” he growled, wrenching his face from her grip and pointing to his milky white eye. “And the way he looked at you. That was real. More real than anything I’ve ever seen. There’s no point in fighting for whatever we had.”
She gaped at him, tears brimming. Fuck no.
“We will find Skarn, end him, end this war,” Fenn continued. “And then go our separate ways. I...” His voice faltered, but he forced the words out. “If his intelligence is accurate, I’ll petition the Wardens for forgiveness.”
Fuck no!
Before she could think, she launched herself at him, her foot sweeping his legs from under him. Fenn stumbled, and she was on him, dragging him to the ground. Her arm coiled around his neck from behind, locking him in place as her weight pressed him into the mud.
“Where is your anger, Crimson Wolf?” she hissed.
“Rynna!” Fenn twisted out of her hold and spun away from her. Body coiling, he dropped low before springing back to his feet, eyes hard. “There is no point.”
“How can you say that?” Rynna choked on the words, rushing him again, her punches wild and uncalculated.
“Rynna, stop!” Fenn blocked her, his jaw clenched with every hit. He parried her next attack, deflecting it away. “You chose him!” His words splintered as he caught her wrist mid-swing. “It was obvious. I’m trying to make it easier for you!”
“You know nothing, Guide Fenn!” She ripped her arm free, her body launching forward again. “How can someone who supposedly sees every truth be so blind?”
Fenn’s eyes darkened, restraint slipping, and his next move caught her arm mid-strike, yanking her forward.
“I have wanted you with every fiber of my being since I first laid eyes on you, Rynna!” he boomed as he pushed her back, then pivoted and launched a front kick, catching her square in the gut.
She coughed at the impact, blood spraying from her mouth as she went flying backward into the wooden fence that surrounded the encampment.
“And then loved you more and more every day since then!” His fists clenched as he stalked toward her, fury and pain etched into every movement.
“Do you think this is easy for me!?” His frame shook with each word.
“I’m trying to do the right thing! Trying to let you be happy!
With the person you were probably supposed to be with from the start! ”
She sagged against the wooden beams. “Do I look happy to you, you hell-spawned idiot?!”
“The snake has changed with you. I saw it.” He leaned in, trapping her against the fence, his arms braced on either side of her body. “Imagine all the suffering we could have avoided if I’d just given you back to him from the start.”
Given me back?! As if she had no choice in the matter. She was about to bite his fucking nose off when his next words hit her like a freight train from another world.
“What if all of this—” He clenched his teeth, unable to continue. “What if we could’ve avoided this war if he had been on our side from the beginning?”
Shattered, she watched him come undone in front of her. This wasn’t about them at all. His guilt, his endless sense of responsibility for all the lives lost, was consuming him from the inside out.
“Look at me, you stupid man,” she said, knowing pity wouldn’t help. “Look at me with that stupid wolf’s eye of yours and tell me I’m lying.”
He didn’t move, his face remaining downcast.
Enough. Rynna jabbed her hand out, and she yanked his chin up, forcing him to see her.
“The Weaving weaves as it will.” She stared into that glowing eye. “This war, this battle...there’s nothing you or Kaelith could’ve done to stop it.”
Pain flickered across his features.
“There’s something going on here bigger than what we’ve faced. This army of the dead, as horrible as it is, is just the beginning. If it wasn’t this, it would’ve been something just as bad or worse.”
“You can’t know that.” His words were barely audible over the rumbling thunder.
“I can make an educated guess.” Rynna scoffed, her grip tightening. “And I bet if you asked your lieutenants, they’d say the same thing. This is just the warm-up unless we stop it.”
He let out a strangled laugh, one that sounded more like a sob. “You’re not exactly making me feel better about the situation.”
“I’m not here to make you feel better, Commander.
” Her tone dropped. “It’s taking all my self-control not to tear your fucking throat out for what you’re trying to do to us,” she snarled.
“The point, Fenn, is that there’s very little in life that’s for certain.
You know that as well as I do. And it’s in times like these that we must cleave to what we know to be true, beyond doubt, or we’ll lose ourselves. ”
His eyes searched hers. “What are you saying, Rynna?”
“What the hell do you think I’m saying, you big idiot.”
“Say it,” he demanded, leaning in close, his lips hovering just above hers.
“I love you, you big dumb—”
She never finished. His hand clamped around her throat, pulling her into a kiss, all heat and desperation like he was devouring her whole.
And when he finally pulled back, his grip still tight around her neck, his voice was a ragged whisper. “Say it again.”
“I love you, Fenn.” She raked her hands beneath his shirt. “Every goddamn inch of you, no matter what insane shit the Weaving throws our way.”