Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Brynn
It’s been a week since everything happened, and I finally feel like I can breathe again—or at least try to.
The fight-or-flight response that had become second nature is slowly receding.
Olivia and I have both seen a counselor at the local youth center and while I still feel like I have a long road ahead of me, talking through it has helped.
Rachel and Joanne have been incredible, always checking in, giving me space when I need it, and making sure I don’t isolate myself completely.
And Tabby, man, Tabby has stepped up so much for me at the shop, to cover our appointments or just to help when I zone out or something. I’m not sure what I’d do without her.
I’ve tried to throw myself into work at the flower shop, keeping my hands busy and my mind occupied. I even help out at the ranch when I can, but only with things that ensure I don’t run into Jack. I know I can’t avoid him forever, but I’m not ready yet. Not after the way I pushed him away.
Now, I sit in the corner booth at the café, pushing my half-eaten sandwich around my plate as Rachel stirs her coffee. The smell of fresh-baked bread and cinnamon lingers in the air, but I don’t have much of an appetite.
“Have you heard anything about Clay?” Rachel asks.
I nod, setting my cup down. “Yeah, actually. He was officially charged with animal abuse. The judge granted the restraining order for me and Olivia based on the security footage. He can’t come within a hundred yards of either of us.
” I exhale slowly, letting the tension in my chest unravel just a little. “That’s something, at least.”
Rachel tilts her head. “More than something. It means he can’t hurt you or Olivia ever again. That’s a win, Brynn.”
“I know,” I say, rubbing my hands together before looking back up at her.
“And Lane?”
“Oh, he’s going away for a long time. The charges stacked up—arson, poisoning, shooting Clay. They’ll be lucky if he ever sees the outside of a cell again.”
Even as I repeat what Sheriff Clark told me, I still feel a sense of unease. It should make me feel safer, and maybe it does, but there’s still a part of me that can’t shake the fear completely.
Rachel watches me carefully. “How are you really doing, Brynn?”
I sigh, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Some days are better than others. Sometimes, I feel okay. Like I’m getting back to normal. Other days, I wake up feeling like I’m still stuck in that moment, waiting for something else to go wrong.”
She reaches across the table, giving my hand a squeeze. “That’s normal, you know. What you went through, what Olivia went through—it was terrifying. It’s going to take time. But you are healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I hope so.”
She smiles softly. “You will. I promise.”
My appetite has been off for days, a mix of exhaustion and stress dulling my senses. I stir my coffee aimlessly, watching the dark liquid swirl, my mind wandering before Rachel’s voice brings me back.
“Have you talked to Jack yet?”
I tense immediately, my grip tightening around the mug. I shake my head, keeping my eyes down. “No.”
She leans forward, her brows furrowing. “Brynn.” Her voice holds that big-sister tone, the one that says she’s about to call me on my bullshit.
I exhale, my stomach twisting. “I think it’s for the best if we just… end it. It’s over.”
She pulls back like I just grew a second head. Her eyes widen, and she blinks at me in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
I swallow hard, my throat dry as I push forward with the words that have been circling my brain all week.
“My life is too crazy, Rach. There’s too much going on, and I have too much on my plate to be in a relationship with anyone right now.
This whole mess just proved it. Olivia could have gotten hurt.
And what if Clay comes back? A restraining order is just a piece of paper.
I can’t let my guard down, not now, not ever. ”
She stares at me for a long beat before setting her coffee down with a quiet thunk. “Brynn,” she says, her voice softer now, but firm. “You love him.”
I close my eyes briefly, my heart clenching. “I know,” I whisper. “And that’s what makes this so damn hard.”
She reaches across the table, taking my hand in hers.
“So, you’re going to punish yourself because life threw you some hard shit?
” She shakes her head, squeezing my fingers.
“No. That’s not how this works. You don’t shut people out because you’re scared.
You let them in. That’s what love is. That’s what Jack wants—to be in this with you. ”
Tears burn behind my eyes, but I blink them away. “Rachel, I just—I don’t know if I can do this. What if all this chaos has him realizing he’s better off without me? Without all of this?” I gesture vaguely, my chest tightening with fear. “What if I’m just too much?”
She sighs, sitting back against the booth. “You’re doing that thing again.”
I frown. “What thing?”
“That thing where you decide for everyone else how they feel. Where you assume that because you feel unworthy, that’s how everyone sees you.” She tilts her head, watching me closely. “Do you really think Jack is the kind of man who would run because things got hard?”
I open my mouth, then shut it. No, I don’t think that. But that doesn’t mean my fears aren’t real.
“Look, I get it. You’re scared. You’ve had to fight for so long; protect Olivia, keep yourself safe. And yeah, the past week has been absolute hell. But, Brynn, love isn’t about things being easy. It’s about choosing each other through everything.”
My throat tightens, emotions choking me. “And what if I lose him?”
She gives me a small, sad smile. “Sweetheart, you’re losing him right now. But not because he wants to go—because you’re pushing him away.”
Her words hit me hard, and I press my fingers against my forehead, trying to keep the tears at bay. My chest aches with the truth of it.
Why does she always have to be right?
Rachel reaches over again, giving my hand another squeeze. “Don’t let fear make your choices for you, Brynn. Take the leap. Trust that love—real love—is worth the risk.”
I lean back in the booth and give her a small smile, my fingers tracing the rim of my coffee cup. “Thank you,” I say softly. “For everything. For talking me off the ledge, for being here even when I try to push everyone away. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you.”
Rachel smiles, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. “That’s what best friends do. We’re in this together, B. You don’t have to go through anything alone.”
I nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “I know.”
We sit in silence for a moment before she glances at the clock. “I should get going. Abby has a dance recital tonight, and if I don’t show up early enough to snag a front-row seat, my mom might disown me.” She says, referring to her niece.
I laugh softly, standing as she does. “Go, go. Give her a hug from me.”
Rachel grins. “Will do. And Brynn?”
I pause, looking at her.
“Think about what I said, okay? Don’t let fear decide your future.”
I nod, though I don’t promise anything. “See you later.”
She leaves the café, and I take a deep breath before heading back to the flower shop.
The bell jingles overhead as I step inside, and the familiar scent of fresh flowers fills my lungs, grounding me.
I slide behind the counter and start sorting through orders, letting the rhythmic task settle my nerves.
Arranging lilies, wrapping roses, tying ribbons—it all gives me something to focus on besides the thoughts swirling in my head.
But no matter how much I try to push him away, Jack lingers in my mind.
The way his eyes darken when he’s worried, the way his voice wraps around me like warmth on a cold day.
The way he fought for me. For Olivia. And yet, I told myself that pushing him away was the best choice.
That I had to do it for Olivia. For myself.
But if that were true, why does it feel like I’ve lost something irreplaceable?
I shake my head and reach for my phone when it rings, eager for the distraction.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Castings?” a professional-sounding voice greets me. “This is Amanda from Riverbend Insurance. I just wanted to inform you that your claim has been processed, and the funds should be deposited into your account within two to three business days.”
Relief washes over me, my shoulders sagging slightly. “Thank you so much, Amanda. That’s great news.”
“Of course. Let us know if you need anything else.”
I hang up, breathing deeply. That money will help cover the vet bills and some of the damage done during the fire. It won’t fix everything, but it will make things a little easier.
Still, the bigger problem looms over me like an unforgiving sky—the drought. I pull up the weather app, my stomach sinking at the continued forecast of dry, relentless heat. Not a drop of rain in sight.
With a sigh, I tuck my phone away and glance at the clock. It’s time to pick up Olivia. I grab my bag and turn to Tabby, who’s tidying up behind the counter.
“Are you sure you’re okay closing up for me tonight?” I ask.
She nods. “Of course. Have a good night, Brynn.”
I offer her a small smile before stepping outside, the air thick around me as I head to my car.
The drive is quiet, my mind racing through the events of the past week.
By the time I pull up to the community center where Olivia is finishing her art class, my thoughts are still tangled in a mess of fear, longing, and uncertainty.
When Olivia slides into the passenger seat, she grins up at me. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, sweetheart. How was class?”
“So fun! I made a painting for Barney. It has lots of blue because that’s my favorite color, and I think it should be his, too.”
I smile, pulling out of the parking lot. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”
We drive in comfortable silence for a few moments before Olivia shifts in her seat, looking at me hesitantly.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, baby?”
She fidgets with the hem of her shirt. “Are you and Mr. Jack still mad at each other?”
My grip tightens on the wheel. “We’re not mad at each other. We’re just… giving each other space.”
She tilts her head, considering my words. “I think you should give him a chance. You two were a cute couple.”
I blink, glancing at her quickly before focusing back on the road. “You’re not mad that I was dating someone?”
She giggles, shaking her head. “No. I just want you to be happy, Mom.”
My heart squeezes painfully at her words. She’s so much wiser than I give her credit for.
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
She beams at me, completely unaware that her simple words have just shifted something deep inside me. I don’t know what I’m going to do about Jack, but as I pull into the driveway, one thing is clear—I can’t keep running forever.