Chapter 17 #3
That sends a shockwave through me, and I’m now fully sitting up in bed.
“I’m fine Hawk, seriously, I am. I don’t need a psych check, if anything I need to be here.
Shit like this fuels me, as you very well know.
” He gives me a knowing smile. When my mother died, it hardened me.
I focused all my grief into making her proud, betting myself.
When Noc died, grief hit me differently - it wasn’t just loss, a part of me went with him.
I became cold, detached in the field, and people started fearing me more.
That only made my dad prouder, in his own darkened way.
That was the moment he decided I was ready for special ops.
He told me to go for it in his letter, and that’s why Graves picked me during selection.
I came from good stock, and I’d proven I could handle loss.
At least, back then, he thought it was only my mother.
Now, he knows I’ve endured more. Whilst I had a moment of madness, as humans I think we should allow it.
It doesn’t mean we’re weak, it means we’re strong enough to show our vulnerabilities and allow ourselves to grow.
“I don’t doubt your abilities, Nyx, I just don’t want you running off in the middle of the night thinking you can take on the world, that’s all.
” His words send a chill down my spine. He knows.
We obviously weren’t as 'black ops' as we thought we were - which is slightly embarrassing because that is literally our life.
I scramble for an excuse, anything that takes me down alone and not anyone else, especially Adam and Phantom, they were merely dragged into this.
“Don’t worry, Graves doesn't know. And judging by our recent surveillance, I know you didn't intercept as Nocturne and Volokov are still alive and well. Obviously, your better judgement prevailed for you to come straight back here. Am I on the right track?”
Absolutely not. ''Yes, of course sir. I let my anger get the best of me for a moment, and it was reckless.
I came back to base when I realized, I'd do better with my team, doing it the right way.” He seems strangely happy enough with that answer, and amusement licks the edges of his smirk when I finish speaking.
Surely, I haven't gotten off that easy? “Good, because Graves has an update. Be in the command room in thirty minutes.”
Five minutes later, I head through to the command room, finding I'm the first of my unit there alongside all of 656 and Hawk. Some chairs have been added to accommodate the new group size, and I head over to Adam’s and my usual spot.
I feel an unwelcome prickle on my skin, like eyes roaming over me, casted in judgement.
I’m in a surprisingly good mood since I managed to get off the hook from my escape earlier.
So I lift my head high, turning towards the source.
Rhaine and Hunter chat away - oblivious.
But Gunner’s gaze bores into me. I decide I’ll take the first swing as Phantom strolls in.
“What do you think Phantom, left, or right?” I ask him, my hand resting under my chin as I turn my head from side to side.
“All sides are good for you, babygirl.” I'm glad he's rolling on this with me, otherwise what I say next wouldn't have hit as hard.
“Great! Well, there you go, Gunner, get your camera ready. Because a picture will last longer.” The amusement drops from my tone and turns to ice.
Blitz comes in with Adam who lets out a low whistle. “Looks like we arrived at the good part.” She nudges him with her elbow, and he spears his way over to sit beside me, hands at the ready to keep me in my place.
“Not following?” Gunner responds with a tone drier than the Sahara desert.
“Well, unless you keep looking at me so you can keep a memoire of my face for your bedside table, stop fucking staring.” He huffs out a laugh, arm gripping the back of his chair as a coy grin appears.
“Sorry, just trying to figure out how the famous Nyx was dumb enough to be dickmatised by a guy who's been working with terrorists. Must have been some decent pipe you were getting to overlook it.”
Six seconds. That’s all it took to have that whole room in the air.
I wasn't giving a damn if he's a guy, I lunged onto the coffee table between us and threw my full bodyweight towards him as I went to town, like a rocket off the launch pad. I land hard, punching the smirk clean off him. Adam barely had time to react as I lunged, eventually getting to me and yanking me back with Hawk’s help.
Rhain and Phantom wrestled to get Gunner away, demanding to know what his problem was.
Once I’m fully detached, Gunner wipes his nose and his laugh is nothing short of mocking. “I knew you were fast, just wanted to see if you'd lost your touch recently.” His wicked grin sets me off again, but Adam and Hawk are prepared this time.
They shove me down in the chair, Hawk throwing me a look.
''Behave.'' When he shifts to Gunner, he doesn’t go as easy on him.
“And you… shut the fuck up, Gunner. Your bullshit won't be tolerated here. Another comment like that from you and I'll let her have at you, see if it brings you down a peg or two. You might have gotten away with that in your unit, but when you’re 666, you’re a team. You best remember that.”
I smirk at him and lift my chin and brows, daring at him to try again.
656 mostly drives our surveillance needs, keeping an eye on key parts of Volokov’s groups.
But due to the recent developments, Graves has decided to bring them here.
We've all worked together before, but Gunner and I have never gotten on. He has a masculinity complex - can’t see women in the field doing well or in this case, better than him.
I should have known he’d press my buttons after the debrief.
This type of information to him is like a fly landing on a turd; he can't pass by the opportunity.
Thankfully we're all calm enough once Graves enters.
I'd certainly be reprimanded if he saw me launching through the air, lecturing me for not being able to keep my cool.
At least Hawk will tone it down if he does find out, and my guys will cover for me.
“Afternoon, Ashfall,” he greets the room.
He's been looking more disheveled recently, travelling more often these last couple weeks.
He's been back and forth between us and 656 putting the intel together, and then the trip back to the US, finally ending up with confirmation that Noc is alive.
Obviously, the latter along with him discovering the taunting slogan from the webpage has taken its toll, letting the Commander know he's coming for him.
I doubt Graves is going to hold back from the threat, this will be a new goal he needs.
No one doubts his dedication - leadership radiates from the man.
My mother trusted him when she asked Graves to investigate Noc, only for the latter to kill her before they could expose the truth.
I wonder - if she hadn’t involved Graves, would the outcome have changed?
What if she never uncovered anything at all?
Would I still have her? Or would fate have twisted its hand some other way, taken her in another form? Would I have even met Noc?
I shake my head, forcing the questions away.
I feel like I’m revisiting stage three of grief - bargaining.
The weight of it presses hard, the cracks in everything I thought I knew shifting my balance beneath the plates.
Maybe I do need a break. A reset. Something to clear my head before it spirals any further.
Just as I start to consider it, Graves’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
“I've been going over the new intel from last week.
The 'black eagle' threat as we'll now refer to it going forward.” He pulls up the image on the tablet to remind us.
“We need to start moving forward at a quicker pace; I believe they're ready to attack back home. Intelligence managed to locate further crates being loaded from the warehouse we were monitoring to the north of here.” He points to an area on the map placed to the wall.
“They've split into two groups: The first group we watched offloaded the crates and settled there for a few days before travelling to a shipping dock in Norway. This dock holds large cargo ships, and the drone footage shows that Nocturne has been distributing to a container for Volokov and plans to transport a chemical weapon to land on our shores.” I struggle to swallow, listening to Graves’s words.
I find it so hard to believe this is Noc.
The man I loved, capable of turning so dark.
But then I think about how I only saw what he allowed me to see.
I glimpsed the shadows in him, but never the full abyss.
“We suspect that they'll wait until the second supply reaches the warehouse before they get the first crate on the ship to leave, then the second batch will follow the same route. Four ships are scheduled to sail to the US this month and the container could be on any one of those.” Graves takes a deep breath before turning to face us fully.
“656, I'm sending you to the shipyard in the meantime with a chemical warfare unit, they’re travelling from the US.
We'll drop you by chopper fifteen miles out. I want you to look for a container that looks like this.” He picks the tablet up and turns it to show us an image of a red shipping container.
When he flicks the screen again, the image is a close up of the latch - the black eagle logo painted there to identify it.
“This hasn't been loaded yet, but by the time you get there it will be. Once you identify it, chemical warfare will handle the rest. There are over a hundred red containers in that shipyard. I want you to identify the other one with this logo and place a tracker on it, hidden out of sight. This will allow chemical warfare to get back in and neutralize the threat.” 656 look pissed, they've just been tasked with finding a needle in a haystack.
“You'll be leaving in twenty minutes, so get organized and meet the convoy out front.” Rhaine, Gunner and Hunter set off, but not until Gunner gives me a wink and blows me a kiss.
One last taunt to see if he can rile me up in front of our commander. Prick.
Adam leans over to whisper in my ear. “I wouldn’t have stopped you that time.” I give him a faint smile, I can behave. But seeing Gunner’s eye starting to slowly swell, and the fact he never got one hit on me, satisfies my demon for now.
Graves nods to our remaining unit. “616, you'll be remaining here. We're going to monitor Volokov and Nocturne over the next couple of days and send you in. 656 should be on their way back by then to provide support.”
Everyone rises when Graves starts to gather his stuff from the desk.
“I'll be heading out for a couple of days, but I'll be back when we're ready to intercept our targets. Hawk - you're in charge.” He lowers his voice as he approaches him, but not enough that I don’t miss the threat.
“But I swear to God. You pull any stunts like you did last time, you'll be out on your ass.” He storms past him and the rest of us.
I glance at Hawk and he rolls his eyes, a devious smile now plastered on his face. It forces my own to bloom.