Chapter 7
Focus and Seek Your Answer Another Time
The end of May brought Holly’s sixth swimming lesson.
A lesson that came at the end of a week with Natalie’s nursery being closed for half term.
This would usually have brought a level of stress and worry Holly had always found hard to contend with.
When she’d first had to ask people to help her out, she’d hated it.
But now? Now, it was a necessity she couldn’t escape.
Luke was her de facto childcare when the nursery was closed, and although she had been ready to drop Natalie off at the garage, Seb had offered first. He’d requested leave as Danny was home for the week.
Danny loved Natalie, and the feeling was mutual.
When Natalie heard there was the option of spending the week with Seb and Danny, she’d leapt at the chance - not allowing any alternative arrangements.
Unbeknownst to Holly, Danny had a new piece of equipment.
After their first day together this had exponentially added to Natalie’s enjoyment of spending the rest of the week with him.
A charity donation had equipped Danny with an Eye Gaze, and he’d been showing off his skills at every opportunity.
With just the use of his eyes, he could now speak.
And his new favourite word was shit. Once Natalie had discovered it wasn’t a word she should be saying, she’d squeal with delight every time he said it…
which made him say it more. Instead of being annoyed at this casual use of profanity around her daughter, Holly had reveled in it.
Natalie was old enough to understand some words were ones adults said, and she thankfully wasn’t repeating it.
And Holly loved that Danny could say the words he wanted to say now, instead of choosing what people offered him to say.
This morning, Natalie was all set to spend the day with Rose though.
She had, however, very apologetically cancelled at the last minute.
Luke had wanted to take her somewhere, and Holly had understood; she didn’t want her daughter getting in their way of their time together.
When Rose had messaged Holly in the early hours of the morning with the news, she had been prepared to cancel the swimming lesson.
Eleanor, her back up baby sitter was feeling the effects of a nasty cold, so she wasn’t a viable option.
And Seb had been looking after Natalie all week, so Holly couldn’t ask him again.
But someone, and Holly highly suspected this was Rose, must have been keeping him in the loop.
As she was typing out a message to Owen, her phone vibrated in her hand with a text from Seb.
And like he always seemed to do, he stepped in to help her out.
So that was how she found herself pulling up outside Seb’s rented cottage, for the sixth time that week.
Natalie had raced inside whilst Holly had taken a minute to take in the view.
She’d lived in this village all her life, but she’d never get over how beautiful it was - especially in the mornings when the mist lingered.
Looking out across lush green fields that faced the neat line of sandstone cottages, if Holly stood on her tiptoes, she could just make out the curving rugged coastline of the Bay below.
Once she’d had her fill, she followed her daughter inside to find her settled next to Danny on his reclining comfy chair.
Natalie was studiously exploring the iPad size screen that was attached with a clamp to Danny’s chair.
And then with a giggle, she started tapping it, her face lighting up as she did it.
Seb had foolishly told her the Eye Gaze had games on it.
‘Natalie, remember, that’s Danny’s voice. You mustn’t take it over to play splat games,’ Holly reminded her, firmly.
‘Sorry,’ she squeezed out, but Holly could see her daughter’s finger inch forwards slowly before she darted it forward, pressing the screen one more time.
Danny glanced at her, and then back to his screen. His focus perfect, as he over-rode her manual control. The screen moved effortlessly through the options he was choosing with his eyes.
‘Holly,’ the slightly plummy male voice called out. ‘Hello, Holly.’
‘Morning Danny, did you sleep OK?’
‘Yes,’ he answered after only a few seconds delay - it impressed her how he could communicate so quickly when she knew it would take her ages to flick through the options.
So often people assumed Danny didn’t have a voice, and Holly hated it when they asked Seb what he wanted or talked about him instead of to him.
So every time he made his computerised voice speak, it warmed her heart.
Seb came downstairs, and Holly made the most of her chance to take him in whilst his attention was on Natalie.
He was wearing the shirt she liked - the bottle green and mustard tartan one that complemented the warmth of his topaz brown skin.
And she couldn’t focus for long at all on his snug jeans, that had no business looking that good on him.
Some days he wouldn’t wear his chef’s whites, and would wear these instead.
Holly was a little embarrassed to admit, even to herself, that she always found excuses to be in the kitchen a little more than usual those days.
She only allowed herself a few seconds to look this morning though; it would be mortifying for him to catch her staring.
With her gaze averted, just in time, she smiled as he scooped Natalie up and lifted her high so she could touch the ceiling.
‘How is my favourite three-year-old?’
Natalie just giggled and then shouted, ‘Again.’ And God love him, he did it again.
‘Natalie,’ came Danny’s voice.
‘Yes?’ Natalie caught her breath and twisted in Seb’s arms to look over to her friend.
‘I want to watch TV,’ Danny’s automated voice spoke through the little speaker.
Natalie wriggled and slipped out of Seb’s hold and ran over to the TV, grabbing the remote, and with a speed she probably shouldn’t be capable of, turned it on and navigated to Netflix.
Natalie started pointing at the thumbnail images for the films, moving to a different one each time Danny said, ‘No.’ Until she eventually called out one he wanted - The Book of Life.
Holly smiled when Natalie scrambled back up onto Danny’s recliner and settled herself in, tight, next to him.
‘Thanks for having her - again. It’s the last of your booked days off - are you sure you don’t mind? I can always work something out, or reschedule my lesson,’ she rambled on, praying he wasn’t about to change his mind.
‘It’s fine, Holly. Danny loves spending time with her, and we’ll have a good morning together.’
Holly let out a relieved breath, ‘Thank you.’
Her lessons with Owen were going so well, and she really hadn’t wanted to do anything that might stop her progress. She said a quick goodbye to Natalie and was at the door, when Seb’s hand lightly touched her shoulder.
‘Can I have a quick word - outside?’ he added the last word quieter than the rest, nodding past her.
‘Sure,’ she nodded as she stepped outside, basking in the warmth of the late May sunshine.
Once outside, Seb started fidgeting with his shirt buttons, rather than saying anything.
‘I do, sort of, need to get going, Seb.’
Holly hated to push the point, but if she didn’t leave soon, she risked being late for her lesson.
‘Sorry. I’m not sure how to do this?’
‘Do what?’ she asked cautiously. He was starting to worry her now. Holly started scanning through her recent interactions with him, trying to recall if she’d done or said anything that could be the cause of how he was looking at her right now.
‘It’s about Owen,’ he rushed out the words, as if he wasn’t able to keep them contained any more.
‘Owen?’ The complete curveball of a conversation topic caught her off guard. ‘My Owen?’
She didn’t know why she said, my Owen, he wasn’t hers, she felt her cheeks flush at her faux pas.
‘Yeah, your Owen,’ he parroted back, his eyebrows raised slightly. Gone was his hesitation now. Now his gaze was clouded, his expression; cold.
‘Shut up, Seb. You know what I mean.’
He mumbled something she couldn’t quite make out.
‘What was that?’
‘Nothing. Anyway, I overheard your Owen telling Tony he isn’t planning on putting down roots here. Just thought you should know.’
And before she could even formulate a response, he turned and left her outside; alone.
*
The odd conversation with Seb played on her mind as she drove back to the pub to collect her swim stuff she’d annoyingly left on her bed.
Their interaction had bothered her to such a degree she was even tempted to text Rose about it - despite the fact mentioning Seb’s name anywhere near her friend seemed to cause her to grin maniacally.
Luckily life intervened, and thoughts of messaging her friend dissipated as she stepped out of her car and came face to face with Owen.
The unexpected encounter made her jump, a scream catching in her throat.
‘Shit, sorry!’ Owen reached out to apologise. ‘I’d just called at the pub to offer to give you a lift to the pool, but obviously as you’re here, you weren’t there.’
He laughed at himself, and the action brought squishable dimples to his cheeks.
The question of why they weren’t dating each other right now, crashed into her. The swimming lessons, came an irritating reply from her more sensible self. And because it could make things awkward, Rose’s voice took over her inner monologue.
‘You alright, Hols?’
‘Yeah, sure, sorry – you were saying something about giving me a lift?’
Owen laughed and manoeuvred Holly so they were standing next to each other.
‘Yeah, and then I was planning on saying I didn’t get the chance to tell you last week, but you’re doing so well in the water. I’d like us to try something this lesson. But you’ll need to trust me.’
‘O-kay,’ she stretched out the word.
‘Not sounding particularly trusting there, Hols,’ he teased.