Chapter 17
Absolutely
‘This is unexpected,’ Holly said as she smiled at her brother when he opened the passenger door for her.
She grimaced as she eased herself into Luke’s VW Golf.
It was so much easier to get in and out of cars now, but his vintage convertible was a lot lower than modern cars, and quite a bit more compact.
She’d make it work though; Luke was taking her out for brunch and she never turned down a free meal.
‘I figured I owed you, after, well you know.’
‘After your girlfriend set me up in a threeway with an octogenarian and a Russian man who doesn’t speak English?’
‘Please don’t use the word threeway in my presence ever again,’ Luke groaned.
‘Threeway, threeway, three…’ Holly’s petulant taunts were drowned out by the stereo system blaring out Chains by Fleetwood Mac.
‘Oh, I love this song.’ Holly smiled, her teasing evaporating as Lindsey Buckingham’s lead vocals filled the cabin.
‘Found the cassette album inside one of Dad’s coats when we first sorted their stuff. There was this, along with The Kinks.’
The track filled the car as neither sibling said anything. Luke’s words sat there between them, comfortably, until Holly broke the silence.
‘He loved Fleetwood Mac. Do you remember when he bought that old guitar, and tried to grow his hair long?’
‘Oh God. Mum was so embarrassed.’
‘He really thought he could be Yorkshire’s version of Lindsey,’ Holly managed to say before the laughter of the memory took hold.
Luke’s deep laughter at the reminder warmed Holly’s heart, and she let the song wash over her as Luke drove them to Hotel Victoria.
She was looking forward to a different view.
Other than hospital trips, and her visits to The Book Nook, she hardly left the pub now - and it was taking its toll on her.
Her isolation had been self-imposed, but that didn’t make it any less damaging.
Rose, Luke - even Eleanor had tried to tempt her out, but the fear of slipping on the cobbled streets had kept Holly locked away.
When she had ventured out, for her date at the art class, not only had it exhausted her, but it had shredded her nerves.
She was so grateful to Luke, Rose, and Lucy for keeping Natalie so busy lately. She’d make it up to them.
*
As they tucked into their traditional Yorkshire breakfast, half an hour later, Luke blew out a quick breath and set his cutlery down.
‘So, there was another reason for taking you out for brunch,’ he said as he fiddled with his fork, placing it and then moving it a few millimetres, before repeating the action.
‘Want me to guess?’ Holly offered when Luke didn’t seem to want to continue.
When he glared at her, instead of saying anything, she launched in with, ‘You’ve finally taken the plunge and taken up line dancing? No? Oh, I know. You and Rose are bored of your vanilla relationship and are going to try out the local swinging scene?’
She let her voice rise for the last few words and they hung in the quiet dining room. The couple next to them dropped their tea cups to the table in a loud clatter.
‘Holly,’ Luke hissed out, ‘that’s not funny.’
‘It’s a little bit funny,’ she countered, with a satisfied smirk.
‘No,’ he ground his teeth, ‘Rose and I are not going to try out the local swinging scene,’ he whispered.
‘Nothing wrong with it, Luke. Each to their own.’
‘It’s about Seb,’ he blurted out.
‘What about him?’ she said, trying and failing to keep the annoyance from her tone.
‘Let him back in the pub.’
‘I didn’t bar him.’ Her reply came quick - a defensive reflex.
Luke reached across the table and pulled her hands into his before he spoke. ‘You might as well have. You hurt him when you said you didn’t want him around anymore.’
‘I hurt him? That’s a bit on the nose isn’t it, Luke?’ Holly went to pull her hands away. Luke tightened his grip - not enough so she couldn’t pull away, but it was enough to know he didn’t want her to.
He shook his head. ‘I know I’m not one to talk about letting things go, but don’t you think enough time has passed? You’ve been working together for the last few years. I thought you’d both got over what happened. He’s a good guy, Holly. You need to stop punishing him.’
‘I know he is. He’s not even just a good guy - he’s great. And most of the time I can box it all away. But sometimes,’ she paused to collect herself, feeling her emotions fraying, ‘sometimes my 21st birthday doesn’t feel like years ago. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday.’
Luke nodded, but didn’t give up. He must have known his next words would do the trick - his final, winning argument.
‘Natalie misses him. She asked me if I could take her to see him.’
Holly shook her head at him, ‘That’s a low blow.’
But she let the words sink in, blowing out a long breath. He was right. Holly had already noticed, but was hoping her daughter would be able to move on.
‘Fine. I’ll message him.’
‘Or we could go to the brewery on our way home?’
‘Don’t push it. I’ll message him.’
*
Holly:
Hey. I wanted to say sorry about what I said
Seb:
…
…
Holly:
I was out of line and I didn’t mean it
I should have messaged sooner
I’m sorry
Seb:
…
Holly:
Will you come back and help us at the pub?
Seb:
…
Yeah. Of course
Holly:
Thanks
Seb:
No problem
Holly groaned at the mess she seemed so adept at creating.
Seb’s final message screamed that there was in fact a problem.
He’d been typing and deleting messages the whole time she’d been texting him.
So he definitely wasn’t as alright with what had happened as he was letting on.
Instead of letting it go, she tried to apologise again.
Hoping this time she’d get more of a response.
Holly:
I know I was out of line Seb
And I should have reached out sooner
But my life has been mental lately and I took it out on you
I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry
Seb:
It’s OK
…
…
How’s Tally?
Holly:
Missing you
Seb:
The girl has good sense
Even though it was just a text, Holly could feel the teasing tone on the screen.
The realisation soothed her far more than anything else he could have said right now.
If she tried really hard, she could glimpse a future where they could be proper friends again.
Like they’d been before her fateful party.
Holly:
I’ll let you have that one, as I’m still in apology mode
Holly waited to see if he’d send another message, but a knock at the door to the pub caught her attention.
The hope that Seb had come to see her so soon, bubbled inside her as she hobbled to the door and eased it open.
Until now, she hadn’t let herself acknowledge how much she’d missed having him around.
Dealing with the aftermath of her accident, and Lucy moving in, had distracted her enough from admitting Seb was an important part of her life now.
It had started when he’d come back for the funeral and stayed.
When he’d started working at the pub he’d cemented himself in her life.
But it wasn’t Seb at the door.
‘Rose,’ she deadpanned when she saw her friend smiling at the door.
‘What? Not pleased to see me? You’re not still annoyed about Nikolai?’
At Holly’s look she added, ‘Too soon? Yep, too soon. I come bearing snacks.’
Holly eased the door open wider to reveal a tube of Pringles and a jumbo bag of Haribo stretched out towards her.
‘Those snacks are acceptable. Come in,’ she opened the door fully and gestured for Rose to follow.
‘So Luke said brunch went well, and he talked to you about Seb?’
‘It did, and he did.’
‘And?’ Rose leaned in, excitement glittering in her eyes as she waited.
‘I messaged him and apologised. He’s coming back to work in the pub.’
‘Oh thank God. I was really starting to miss his appleslaw sandwiches.’
‘I should have apologised sooner. Natalie has been moping around for weeks. Why didn’t you and Luke stage an intervention sooner?’
‘I don’t know if you’re aware of this, Holly, but you’re pretty prickly when it comes to Seb. We had a tense game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, to see who had to be the one to talk to you about him.’
Holly snatched the Pringles tube from Rose’s hand and popped open the lid, shovelling in a handful of the moreish crisps into her mouth.
She knew she wasn’t rational when it came to Seb, but no one liked being called out on their irrational behaviour.
Licking away the last of the sour cream dust from her lips, she focused on Rose.
‘I get it, OK? I’m trying to bury that hurt. I know he’s a good person. Natalie adores him. I’m a big girl, and I won’t lash out at him again.’
Rose nibbled on her bottom lip.
‘What?’
Wincing a little, Rose switched from nibbling her lip to her thumb nail; buying herself some time. By the time she spoke, Holly had nearly been ready to drag the words out of her. ‘It’s just… you know our challenge?’
‘I release you from your beer mat contract, Rose.’
Holly leant across the bar to reach the cork board on the corner wall where the beer mat Rose had pinned up earlier in the year was staring at them. When it was in her hands she made to rip it apart.
‘No! Don’t do that. It’s bad luck!’ Rose yelped, snatching the beer mat away.
‘I don’t think things could get much unluckier,’ she muttered as she gestured to her still booted foot.
‘Oh, Holly. Things can most definitely get unluckier. I don’t want to be released from the challenge. I want you to let me set you up with Seb.’
And there it was. The hushed conversation she’d caught between Rose and her brother made so much more sense now. The laugh that escaped Holly was cold and harsh. It wasn’t a sound she liked hearing from herself. But she couldn’t help it.
‘Rose, seriously, you need to drop it. I tried. And spectacularly failed in that department. Seb made his feelings crystal clear twelve years ago. I am not putting myself through that again. We’re aiming for a supportive friendship between us.
Friends where we are happy for each other.
I know I’ve been treating him more like an employee instead of a friend lately.
So that’s what I’m working on. Nothing else. ’
‘But I see how he looks at you.’
‘No you don’t, Rose. It’s because you don’t really know him. Seb is nice to everyone. There is nothing between us.’
‘But–’
‘Seriously. Just drop it,’ and because her tone came out too harsh, she added a gentle, ‘please?’
Reluctantly, Rose nodded.
‘OK. But this,’ she gestured to the round piece of cardboard between her fingers, ‘must not be ripped up. Understand?’
Holly rolled her eyes, but she nodded.
Rose blew out a frustrated breath. ‘Fine. I won’t set you up on any more dating apps, but I’ve still got time to find you someone.’
*
That night, when she was tucked up in bed, she looked across at the Fortune Cube which was nestled by her pillow. Different questions filtered through until she came to the one she decided to ask.
‘Will Rose keep her word about the dating apps?’
She wasn’t feeling hopeful as she pressed the button to wake up the screen - certain Rose was probably, right now, plotting some other kind of blind date. When the words Absolutely came into view, once again Holly wasn’t sure how she felt about that answer.