Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Valerie
Tears filled my eyes as Lucas walked out. I stared at his retreating back and a sliver of hope hit me when he turned left and not right toward his home. I understood his love for his sister. He’d raised her, and he felt responsible for her.
But the cold hard truth, and something I had to accept, if there was going to be any type of continuing relationship, Mindy was a part of his life and would come first at times. I couldn’t help the cold fear that invaded my body. Would I always be second place?
Closing my eyes, I took a shaky breath. Think about this, Valerie. Lucas hadn’t even risen to the bait with Kendall. But he would, a voice inside me warned.
Biting my lip, I turned away from the window. Why had I become this alarmed over Lucas leaving? Did it go back to five years ago when I thought we had something, and he just walked away without a word?
A pounding started in my skull. Nothing was going to get settled if we didn’t talk to each other.
I opened my eyes and started cleaning up the breakfast dishes.
Getting past this fear of Lucas leaving wasn’t going to be easy.
Hell, even if I could get past it, which right now, I wasn’t sure I could.
He broke my heart once before, and if he walked away this time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to put back together.
* * *
The next week was tense between Lucas and me.
We barely talked. When he first walked back into my place last Sunday, I thought he’d worked things out.
Instead, he told me he needed time. I accepted that, but it didn’t stop me from worrying if I’d just screwed up a chance with the best man I’d ever had a relationship with.
With my love life in a shambles, I poured myself into Rustic’s books.
More and more, I was convinced Rustic’s accountant was doing something shady.
I thought back to the day I met her. She looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew her from, and I still couldn’t. Even an internet search came up empty.
I shook my head and glanced at the clock.
It was almost ten on Monday, and I hadn’t heard from Lucas since he said have a good weekend last Friday.
I’d been here since seven and no Lucas. I wasn’t surprised.
Even last week, he’d come in late every day, and Friday night, he didn’t even show up at the pub.
This distance between us was getting to me. There had to be a way to close it, but I didn’t know what to do. Every time I tried to talk to him about us, he waved me off, saying now wasn’t the time. I was beginning to think our relationship wasn’t meant to be.
Looking back at the numbers in front of me, one thing I did know: Numbers didn’t lie, but people did. It was time to figure out who was cooking the books and how it affected FI’s acquiring Rustic. There was a brief knock on the office door before it opened. I turned to see Miles walk in.
I froze. Miles looked concerned. “What’s up, Miles?” Thank goodness my voice didn’t betray my fear.
“Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.” My gut clenched as I gestured to the empty chair next to my desk. “Is there something wrong?”
“Nothing major. I just wanted to let you know Lucas will be out of the office this week.”
“Is he okay?” Why hadn’t Lucas called me to let me know? Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised since we’d barely been talking to each other? But it hurt.
“He’s fine. Just some family business. He called me just as he was boarding a plane; he asked me to let you know what was going on so you wouldn’t worry.”
I nodded, pretty sure Lucas wasn’t concerned over my worry. After all, he’d called Miles instead of me. Maybe, in a way, that was for the best because I had a feeling this was all about Mindy. Fear welled in me. I pasted a smile on my face. “Thanks.”
Every time I decided to trust someone, they left. With Lucas, at the first sign I had a different opinion than he did, he left. Miles stared at me for a moment, before he stood and left. I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling.
Was this Lucas’ way of saying good-bye? Was he telling me he was picking his sister over me? My heart clenched. Why shouldn’t he? This was the story of my life. No one cared about me. I shook my head.
Enough! Sounding neurotic wasn’t a good thing. It was time to take control of my life. But how? I couldn’t stay in the office. I grabbed my purse and left the building. Turning right, I walked aimlessly around the area, trying to rationalize everything.
But nothing made sense to me. I stopped to see where I was.
My laughter spilled over when I realized I stood in front of a building that had counseling services.
Shaking my head, I turned, then stopped.
Would it hurt to talk to a professional?
I didn’t allow myself to overthink it and walked inside.
At the very least, I could set up an appointment.
Two hours later, I walked out of the building feeling better than I had in a long time.
While the appointment had only been an hour, I sat in the waiting room for the other hour before my appointment.
I’d been extremely lucky. There had been a last-minute cancellation, and while I said it wasn’t an emergency, the receptionist told me since no one was on the cancellation list for today and I was already there, why not take the appointment.
I was so glad I did as she suggested. Why hadn’t I thought about this before?
Maybe because I never realized how much talking things out like this would make me feel so free.
I’d asked the doctor if I was being unfair to Lucas.
And Mindy. I know I envied their close relationship, but had I let my jealousy destroy my relationship?
The doctor smiled and asked about my family. We then talked about my family for the rest of the time. Once I started, everything spilled out. Before I walked out, I’d set up another appointment. I’d made the right decision to see a psychologist.
My stomach grumbled. There was a restaurant down the street. Since it was past the lunch rush, I got seated right away. Part of me thought I should just get my food to go and head back to the office, but I decided not to. I would make up for the time I took away from the office.
Glancing around the restaurant, my gaze fell on a couple.
They were kissing, and I was about to avert my gaze when they broke apart.
I gasped. That was my father and…the accountant from Rustic?
Oh fuck. The implications swirled in my brain.
Not only for FI. What if my father’s infidelity was exposed?
How would my mother feel? Kendall? Would they even care?
Why did I even care about them? A giggle bubbled up, and I slapped my hand over my mouth.
This wouldn’t do. I stood and took the long way to the host station so as not to bring attention to myself. Thank goodness the station was out of the line of sight of the table. “I’m so sorry; I need to get back to my office. Can I get my food to go, please?”
“Of course, give me just a minute.” The hostess walked away and came back several minutes later holding a bag with my food. I paid my bill and left a good tip for the server and made my way back to the office.
Shit, this could be such a clusterfuck. How long had this been going on? Okay, let’s think about this logically. I needed more proof before I could take this to anyone’s attention. Wait a second.
Seeing my father with the accountant caused me to remember where I’d seen her before. It had been some family party over six months ago. I wasn’t surprised by my father’s infidelity; I’d known about his affairs since I was a teenager.
But what I saw today… No, this wasn’t personal for me. This was about Rustic and FI. And I needed to figure out if my father had anything to do with the problems at Rustic.