Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lucas
“Damn it, Lucas. I didn’t expect you to hop on a plane at my phone call,” Mindy said when I called her to tell her I was at the airport and would be at her place in an hour. Had I misinterpreted her panicked phone call this morning?
“You sounded like you needed me.” I picked up my bag and headed for the taxi line.
“Sometimes I wonder about you.”
“What do you mean?” I was puzzled. Something wasn’t adding up here. “You hung up, and when I tried to call you back, I got voice mail.”
“Yeah.” Mindy sighed. “I forgot to charge my phone. Look, let’s talk at dinner tonight. I’m assuming you’re getting a hotel room?”
“Yes. I planned to drop my stuff and come to your apartment.” Mindy lived in a small studio so there wasn’t any room for me. Not that I wanted to camp out with my sister. I needed my privacy.
Privacy so I could think. Hell, I was done thinking.
That’s all I’d been doing. I wanted to call Valerie.
I missed talking with her. The last week had been hell, and it had been my fault.
Valerie had been overlooked by her family her entire life, and my concern about Mindy was a reminder of what Valerie didn’t have.
What she didn’t know or understand. A loving family.
“Let’s meet at Mel’s on tenth at 7. I’ve got to run. My next class is about to begin.”
The line went dead. That was Mindy. She’d called at four this morning, West Coast time, forgetting about the time difference between East Coast and West Coast. My first instinct was that something catastrophic had happened, and then she hung up saying she had to get to class.
My mind kept going to the worst-case scenario.
I dressed and drove to the airport. I’d been very lucky there was a flight for Connecticut leaving at six am.
As I sprinted for the gate, I left Miles a message letting him know I’d be gone for the week.
Miles would tell Valerie. Maybe I should try calling her?
I glanced at my watch. It was four pm East Coast time; she’d already be on her way home. Wait, it was three hours earlier in Seattle. After getting a cab, I got in, pulled out my phone, and dialed her number. No answer. I shouldn’t be surprised our conversations of late had only been a word or two.
Deciding against leaving a voice mail, I sent her a quick text, letting her know where I was.
Thankfully the ride to the hotel was quick.
After checking in, I kicked off my shoes and fell onto the bed.
I had about three hours before I met Mindy.
A quick nap would help me. I only wished Valerie was here with me.
She was a calming influence on my life. In the last week, I realized I slept so much better with her in my arms.
* * *
“Want to tell me why you flew out here?” Mindy asked after we ordered our dinner.
“You were crying on the phone and not making much sense. Then you hung up. What’s going on?” The power nap I had made me feel a little better. Mindy didn’t look upset or out of sorts. Valerie’s words about panicking came back to me.
“I was crying because I was happy. I wanted to share with you before I was late for class, but my phone went dead unexpectedly. Didn’t you listen to a word I said?”
“Of course I did.” Had he? He couldn’t recall entirely what she’d said; all he heard was her crying, and his instinct was to hop on a plane to come and help her.
“You didn’t listen. Brother, you were the first person I called. The first person I wanted to call. I needed you to listen, not run to my side. You treat me like I’m twelve, and we need to have a serious conversation about that.”
“What?” I sat back in my chair. “I don’t do that.” Wasn’t that what Valerie had said to me? That Mindy was a grown woman.
“Not all the time, but there are occasions…” She shook her head.
“What were you upset about?”
“I wasn’t upset. Lord, Lucas, clean your ears out. I was happy, so happy that I started crying.”
What the hell was going on? “Sorry. What made you cry?”
“I matched. I got accepted into residency at Grassland Hospital.”
Blinking, I stared at her. “Wasn’t that where you wanted to go?” Then why the hell had she been crying? Wait a second; she just said she was crying because she was happy. What else had I missed on the call?
“Yes, it was my first choice. The competition was so strong I didn’t think I’d be accepted. This is a dream come true.” Her voice held that same happiness when she’d gotten into medical school. Now that I was calmer, I could hear it.
“They recognize talent.” Pride welled up in me.
“It’s more than talent. There’s a lot of hard work, and there’ll be more hard work in the future.”
“I’m happy for you.” I smiled. This was the best thing for Mindy.
“I know. But I meant what I said. I don’t want you running to my side all the time. Right now, it’s pretty cool that we’re here together to celebrate this milestone.”
“It is.” Joy filled me.
“Brother, I say this with all the love in my heart: It’s time for you to find happiness of your own.”
“What?” Where was this coming from?
“Lucas, you haven’t mentioned Valerie at all tonight. I know you two hooked back up, so what’s going on?”
“We had a disagreement.” That’s all it had been, except we’d barely talked to each other, and I didn’t even call Valerie when I hopped on the plane. No, I left that up to Miles. Yes, I called her from the taxi, but I didn’t leave a message when she didn’t answer. And she hadn’t returned my text.
“About what?”
I stared at Mindy. Instead of seeing the child of my past, I saw a woman. A grown woman. “About me and you.” Maybe Mindy would understand and help me figure out how to apologize to Valerie.
“Me?” Mindy sat back. “Why would Valerie be concerned with me?”
I didn’t know what to say.
Mindy leaned forward. “You fought over your unrelenting responsibility to me, didn’t you?” Her voice held reproach.
“Unrelenting? I wouldn’t call it that.” Was that how Mindy saw me?
“Lucas.” She shook her head. “I want you to stop feeling so responsible for caring for me. I can take care of myself.”
“I can’t stop. Besides, you still need tuition money.” And what about expenses when she was a resident?
“Actually, I don’t. Remember, I’m in my last semester. Your last payment finished everything off. I’m very grateful for your helping me get through med school without massive student loans, but I can stand on my two feet.”
“You’ve been barely scaping by over the last few years,” I insisted. My gut clenched at the thought of her struggling.
“It hasn’t felt that way, thanks to you. Some of my fellow students are living in shared houses with five or six other people. I’ve been lucky enough to have a studio apartment where I can study and sleep.”
“But…”
She held her hand up. “Lucas, I’m all grown up now, and I need to figure things out for myself.
Even if I do call you, it’s because I want to talk something through with you and not have you over-reacting, rushing to my side.
I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me, but you’re thirty-five.
It’s way past time for you to start living your own life without panicking over me.
I’ve tried telling you that for years. Yes, I asked you to help with the tuition—okay, and my rent—after mom and dad flaked, and I’m forever grateful for all you’ve done.
I’ve got it from here. You need a life of your own. ”
“Mom and Dad did flake a lot, but it was my responsibility, one I took on willingly. I wanted you to be happy and have a job you wanted.”
“You’ve always supported me and taken care of me, even when I was a kid. I’m your sister, and I love you very much, but it’s time to stop rushing to my side because you think something is wrong.”
I wasn’t sure I could do that. “Your voice… I assumed you were upset.”
“You reacted and didn’t pay attention to my words.
I’ve noticed over the years that you don’t always listen.
It’s time for you to listen to me. I’m an adult, and I can take care of myself.
” She reached across the table and laid her hand over mine.
“You’re the best brother a girl could ask for, but it’s time to let go.
Once this residency starts, I won’t have time for anything but sleep and work anyhow. ”
Lord, I really fucked stuff up, didn’t I? Her words penetrated my thick skull. “I don’t like the thought of you working that hard.”
“It’s part of the job. Like you didn’t work hard?”
“It wasn’t that bad.” I wasn’t about to let her blame herself for all the work I took on over the years to give us both a better life.
“I saw you, Lucas. I may have been young, but you worked two jobs while going to college just to make sure I was taken care of. You spent every spare cent you had on me, especially when Mom and Dad took off without a second thought and left us with nothing.”
“I had to make sure you were happy and secure.”
“And you did a great job.” She squeezed my hand. “But I’m an adult now. I didn’t want to call you about the tuition, but as careful as I am with my money, I didn’t have enough to cover it. I was glad when you transferred the money, but you added extra—again—which, of course, they refunded to me.”
“I didn’t want you to worry about anything.” Responsibility hit me hard in the gut. I’d always provided for Mindy when our parents didn’t; it wasn’t an easy habit to break. And it made my relationship with Valerie tense.
“I’ve been picking up some work, so I have money.”
“What? Since when?” How had I missed that? Had she even told me about it?
“For a few years now. It’s nothing big, just a hostess job at a local restaurant. It’s been mainly on call and when I can. It wasn’t much, but it helped. Of course, I’ll have to give it up for my residency, but I’ll be paid by the hospital, so it will work out in the end.”
“I had no idea you’d taken on a job. It wasn’t something I wanted you to do.”
“It’s a part of growing up and standing on my own two feet. I told you about the job, but again, you didn’t hear me.”
Mindy was right. I hadn’t been listening to her. “Big brother will listen better in the future.”
“Then hear this, I’m not your responsibility. Once I finish my residency, I’m going to start paying you back for my tuition.”
“The hell you are.” My voice rose. I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. “You will not pay me back.”
“You’ve provided for me since I was nine. Enough is enough, Lucas.” Mindy squeezed my hand again. “You have a life you need to get back to. I’m so happy you’re back with Valerie. You were happy with her before, and I can’t believe now would be any different.”
My lips twitched. My sister was observant. “Valerie does make me happy.” She did, and the longer I sat here with Mindy, the more I realized how badly I’d messed up with Valerie.
“Then be happy with her. Fix this and be happy with her. I love you, big brother, but you can be an idiot at times. I’m guessing you didn’t listen to her, either.”
My lips twitched at her words even though they rang true. I hadn’t listened when she told me about her family, nor when she tried to tell me I was panicking every time Mindy called. I put my head in my hands and groaned. I’d screwed everything up.
“Tell me everything that happened with Valerie, and let’s see if I can help you get out of the hole you’ve dug yourself into.”
Our food arrived, and I stared at it. What could it hurt to talk about Valerie? Mindy was a grown woman, and it was time I treated her like one. She might have some insight into how I could make things up with Valerie. “Well, it started…” I didn’t stop until I had the whole story out.
By the time I finished, I sat there completely wrung out.
Damn, saying it all out loud made me realize how much I’d fucked up.
What a colossal ass I’d been. I could see it now.
So how could I apologize and ask her to give me yet another chance.
One I wasn’t going to screw up. I needed Valerie in my life.