41. Logan
Logan
“Fuck, I hate that guy,” Stone says, as we watch Chase blow a kiss to Stone right before planting his hands on Hanlon’s ass and leaving them there.
I just snort a laugh.
It’s Hanlon who taught Chase how to be comfortable finding physical comfort from other men. It’s Hanlon who normalized the idea for Chase that maybe there is no such thing as gay or straight or bi. Maybe it’s just about finding your person, and I’ll be eternally grateful to him for that.
Besides, watching Stone squirm is pretty fun.
“He’s not so bad,” I say, accidentally drawing Stone’s attention to myself.
Stone’s eyes stay on me as I watch in awe of my boyfriend as he dances terribly around his best friend, not holding back and showing no shame. It makes my heart sing for fucking joy that Chase’s light has returned. This is the guy I met in that hospital room all those years ago.
“Does he know?” Stone asks, taking me by surprise.
“Know what?” I return.
“That you’re into him.”
I should just say yes. There’s no need to hide it now, but this is my chance for true closure. To let go of the hurt I’ve carried for years, and if Chase and I are truly going to give this a shot, I need to make sure I’ve let it all go.
“Did you?” I fire, expelling the last of my resentment.
“No, but I’m an idiot. Chase isn’t,” Stone admits, softening my heart toward him a little.
“Good of you to notice.” I smirk as I grab two champagne flutes from a waitress bustling about the room with a tray, reminding me of Dr. Porter’s New Year’s Eve party—at least this time I don’t cringe at the memory. Bubbles aren’t what I prefer, but they’ll do in a pinch.
Stone bumps his shoulder against mine as he takes the offering.
“You gonna hold a grudge forever?”
“Maybe,” I tease, barely holding onto a serious tone.
“For what it’s worth, Loag, I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I didn’t even like myself back then. It would have been impossible for me to be what you needed.
Hanlon was the only one who could fix me because he’s the one I broke.
I needed his pieces in order to repair mine, but I’m sorry I hurt you while I figured that out. ”
That was the most honest, heartfelt apology I’ve ever heard. It’s because of that I tell him the truth.
“It’s water under the bridge, Stone. Chase and I are together.”
Stone damn near snaps his neck with how fast his head whips back in my direction.
“What do you mean ‘together’?”
“I mean, we’re a tandem dance team. What do you think I mean?”
Stone scrubs a hand down his face.
“I knew there was no way that fucker was straight. Christ, he’s touched my husband’s dick. I’m gonna have to kill him.”
“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t.”
After throwing his champagne back in one gulp, he says, “That shit’s gross. Let’s go find beer or whiskey. I can’t watch your man grind on mine any longer without going ape shit.”
I laugh.
“Wow. You really have grown as a person. Ape shit used to be your default.”
“Don’t remind me,” Stone says with a small smile, shaking his head.
We find a place to sit, but it’s not long before the rest of the guys from Ricochet find us and join in.
“So, what’s flying for the hospital like?” Deacon asks, catching me off guard. I hadn’t expected him to remember that’s where I went.
“Usually boring as hell, but every now and then there’s some atrocious weather or a patient that’s really critical that makes it interesting,” I say, giving a version of the truth, but not all of it.
I leave out the tiny detail that I technically don’t fly for the hospital anymore, figuring I should tell my boyfriend this news before relaying it to anyone else, but Deacon’s eyes narrow ever-so-slightly like he knows I’m leaving something out.
“Glad to see you haven’t run my chopper into the side of a mountain yet,” I tease Deacon, deflecting the attention back onto him. He’s a reasonable pilot and has probably gotten better over the last four years, but he’ll never be me.
“Not for lack of trying,” Stone mutters, making me laugh.
We fall into comfortable conversation, my eyes wandering to Chase every few seconds, and after half an hour on the dance floor, Hanlon and Chase are in various states of undress after working up a sweat.
When Hanlon takes his tie off and wraps it around Chase’s neck, pulling him close, Stone pushes his chair back and stands, looking at me.
“I’m going to get my husband before they start sucking each other off. You coming?”
“I have a better idea,” I say, joining him. He quirks a brow as I drape my tie around his neck. “I think you owe me a dance.”
Stone lets out an honest-to-God laugh, and as much as it morphs his features into a thing of beauty, it doesn’t make me want him.
Stone and I take up position next to Hanlon and Chase. We keep a respectable distance between us, unlike our partners, but it’s more comfortable than I ever thought this could be… not that I ever expected this to happen in the first place, but life is weird.
Eventually, Chase straddles Hanlon’s thigh and desire courses through me. I’m no longer jealous of Hanlon, and I trust Chase, but I just want it to be me he’s rubbing on. And I want it to lead to more.
Moving behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist and whisper in his ear, “Mind if I cut in?”
Chase leans forward and, with lightning-fast speed, grabs Stone’s face and kisses his cheek.
“Congratulations. Be good to him, or I’ll kill you and make it look like an accident.” He pulls Hanlon into a bear hug next and buries his face in Hanlon’s shoulder so that I can barely hear him as he chokes out the next words. “I fucking love you, Hanny. I’m so happy for you.”
“I love you, too, man.”
Then Chase spins around and engulfs me in his arms, planting a kiss on my lips.
When he breaks the kiss, I grin.
“What?” he asks, confused by my smile.
“How much have you had to drink?” I ask, swaying back and forth with him as though the song was slow and not a club remix.
“Not enough not to know exactly where I am, what I’m saying, and whose arms are around me.”
I wish I could show some self-respect and stop grinning like a fucking moron, but I can’t.
Being with Chase makes me happy. He helps me see the world with an appreciation I’ve never felt before.
Guests have begun swarming the happy couple next to us, and I recognize that our turn to hog their time and attention has come to an end.
I lick the sweat from Chase’s neck, relishing the salty taste. So much of him is familiar to me, but there’s still so much I have left to discover. After everything, I’ve learned that I’m a confess my love first, fuck his ass later kind of guy, but now that I’ve confessed my love…
“I don’t want to cut the celebration short, but is it time to make our escape yet?”
“Thought you’d never ask,” Chase says, squeezing my ass.
I take his hand and catch Stone’s eye.
Upnodding, I tell him congratulations again and make an offer I never thought I’d make.
“We’ll have to have you and Hanlon down to Boston sometime before the winter season starts.”
Chase’s eyes widen as he smiles in surprise.
“You mean it?” he asks.
“Absolutely,” I tell him. “It’d be a lot of fun.
We can catch a Sox game, take them to Derringer’s, and Stone would totally love that indoor skydiving place we’ve been meaning to try and haven’t had a chance to,” I say, growing more excited about the idea.
“If we had company, it would sort of force us to get out and do something besides work, you know?”
“Maybe we can even show them our new place,” Chase says with a hopeful look that fucking guts me.
“Yeah,” I say noncommittally. “Maybe.”
Chase’s brows furrow, and I know he knows something’s up.
After completing our goodbyes, including those to his parents and Hanlon and Stone’s parents, Chase opens my door to his Jeep, and I climb inside. But instead of closing the door, he leans in, planting one hand across my lap on the center console.
“What’s going on?” he asks, making me swallow hard.
Blowing out a sigh, my head falls against the headrest. It seems the time has come.
“I was fired two nights ago.”
“YOU WHAT?!” Chase yells, standing up so fast he slams his head against the frame of the SUV. “Ow! Fuck!”
“Yeah,” I start, chewing my lip nervously.
“Why?” he asks.
“You know how I have a habit of disobeying grounding orders and taking off with million-dollar helicopters I don’t own?” I ask, referring to the night Chase and I met.
“You didn’t,” he says.
“I did.”
“What happened?” he asks, moving his hand to my knee, rubbing gently to bring me comfort.
“A call came in about a woman who had been in an accident. She cut her femoral artery and needed immediate transfer. The hospital tried to ground me due to weather, but it was just a little rain. The real reason they didn’t want me to fly was that it was the fifth call of the day, and those asshole CEOs were concerned about fuel costs. So, I took off.”
Chase snorts a laugh and shakes his head.
“Holy shit, I love you.”
“Aren’t you mad at me?” I ask, totally bewildered at his response.
“Why would I be mad at you for doing what’s right and saving a person’s life?” he asks.
“Because without a job, there’s no way we’ll qualify for a loan for a new place, and I know how much you want a new place together,” I explain.
“It’s true. I do. But part of my urgency was just craving something with you.
I feel better after telling Stone and Hanlon about us, and kissing you in front of my parents.
Not because I need their approval, but because I don’t anymore.
Getting a new place together is still what I want, but I’m content knowing we’re moving in that direction, and more than anything, I am so fucking proud of you for doing what you believed was right. ”
Emotion lodges itself in my throat.
I want to give Chase everything he’s ever wanted. And I still can’t fucking believe he wants me.
“I’ll find something else soon, I promise.”
“I don’t make much. But I can keep us afloat for a few months. Why don’t you take some time to really explore your options? If I’m switching residency programs, we can look at a lot of different places.”
“But you love Boston,” I remind him.
“I love you. I like Boston, but this needs to be about compromise,” Chase says wisely. “We don’t have to make any decisions tonight. Let’s sleep on it. I’m glad I didn’t cancel the flights because we need that vacation. Maybe the break and the physical distance will give us a clear direction.”
Chase is the first clear direction I’ve ever had.