Chapter nineteen #2
His grip on me tightens just a little, like he's afraid I'll decide to walk away at any point now, but I just watch him wordlessly, thinking only about how much I can't let this happen because I'll end up disappointed.
"Please," he whispers.
"We can't just continue and ignore the fact that you're married," I say back and his face falls. "It's not right."
"This goddamn marriage isn't right," he lets out desperately and takes a step back, one hand running through his hair. "But the way you just kissed me right now means something. And nobody can tell me otherwise. You can't fool me, Sierra."
I nibble on my lip, troubled.I'm still breathless and trembling, and neither of us moves for a moment.
"It's not right," I say again, quieter this time, and with my conscience playing the game. Elias simply sighs and sits down on the edge of the tub.
"Are you fucking him? Is that what it is?"
His question takes me by surprise, and I blink. "What?"
I see the way his jaw tightens, as if he's reminiscing on it vividly. "You kissed him. At the bar."
Memories flood back into me and I realize then, finally grasping on what he's talking about.
"I'm not fucking him," I say quietly.
Elias nods bitterly, the silence hanging in the air as he stands up, shakes his head and runs both hands through his hair, fingers interlanced at the back of his head. "Fucking hell."
"What?"
"I thought I was going to lose my mind."
"Don't be ridicolous," I snap hushedly, suddenly defensive as I move forward.
"I didn't even know you were marrying her before I got a wedding invitation sent to my doorstep. It really stung. I thought we were all closer than that. And then you get pissed off when you see me with Theo?"
I shake my head. "You're the one who's married."
"Theo," he spits out like the name tastes wrong. Then a beat passes. "I know that wasn't right. I know," he sighs. "I should have told you."
Elias steps in again. Much closer, his anger and hunger much more evident in his heated gaze. It makes a delicious need crawl down to the pit of my stomach and inbetween my thighs.
"But I hated it," he growls. "Watching him touch you. You were smiling at him like you were trying to forget me."
I meet his eyes. "I was."
His mouth twitches into a knowing smirk. "Did it work?"
The silence between us hums like a live wire. I swallow, and my voice drops to almost nothing as I remain still. "No."
Elias exhales sharply, almost like it hurts to hear, and his hands skim up my waist with slow, reverent glides.
"I can't stand the thought of him having even a piece of you," he murmurs. "Not your laugh. Not your lips. Not the way you look first thing in the morning."
My breath hitches when his hands cup my ass and he presses his body flush against mine.
"I can't stand the thought of somebody else having you the way I do," he says, and then he kisses me again. It's a lot harder this time, more desperate. Like he's trying to take back every second we've lost.
"We said we won't do this again."
"I know, but I can't stop," he says, wanting to stray me away from the protests that hang on the tip of my tongue. With expertise, his fingers unzip my pants, loosening them up and panic rises in my chest.
"Elias," I let out, trying to stop him.
"Baby, he can't make you feel like I do," he breathes out against my neck as soon as my back hits the wall.
"Eli—"
"Nobody can make you feel this fucking good." He cuts me off, capturing my mouth into a rough kiss while his hands glide down my body to pull me against him. "Say it. Tell me I'm right."
"You're not." I whimper.
"No?" he smirks. "I see you need a reminder then."
Before I can argue, his hand is already halfway down my pants. He rubs his fingers over the material of my panties, causing friction that makes a small gasp emit from my throat. He pulls back just enough to look at me.
Then his hand cups the spot between my legs and squeezes, making me gasp. "This pussy is mine," he says. "This body is mine. All of it. Mine."
"Eli, someone could come—"
"Let them," he says and lowers to his knees, stripping my lower half bare with a swift movement. "I don't care. I need to taste you."
I cup my mouth to avoid letting out any sounds as soon as I feel his tongue delve between my folds. He moans lowly, pushing one of my thighs over his shoulder while holding me in place. I look down, seeing him with his eyes closed as his mouth works wonders.
He looks to die for.
I let out a muffled whimper, feeling his fingers slide into my hole. Seeing him on his knees like this, devouring me like I'm his last meal, is something that triggers even more arousal in me. And he feels it on his tongue, smirking slightly while he keeps going.
"You like that?" he murmurs hoarsely before diving right back in.
I try not to let out any sounds. I don't even trust my voice at this point.
"Yes," I whisper.
This only encourages him more and he pumps his fingers faster while sucking on my clit. My stomach is contracting from his touch alone, and nothing could ever compare.
My head rolls back against the wall and my fingers curl into his hair when I start to feel my high crashing in. My eyes squeeze shut as soon as my body tips over the edge, and he drags it out until my back is nearly sliding down surface of the door.
I feel his grip on me, and he rises back to his feet, keeping me steady. His lips find mine again. "Still tastes so fucking good."
I'm breathless, watching him with glazed eyes. My mind's in an absolute frenzy from the things I just felt.
Elias helps me back into my pants, then pulls me into his arms again. "Meet me tonight." He keeps his gaze on me. "Please," he says. "Please, Sierra."
The way he says my name has me in shambles, and I do my hardest to get my breathing back to normal. "We can't do that."
"Please. Meet me." His eyes are wild with everything he's never said. "Tonight. Just us. Away from Ruby. From the others. Just for one goddamn night where I don't have to pretend that I like being married and that it was my choice. Let this be my choice."
In front of me, I see a man unraveling. I should say no. I should want to deny him, and not get involved in those hiding games, but what can I do if the need is too strong? The part of me that still aches for him won't let me.
"Because if I don't see you again, I don't think I'll make it through this."
A long, fragile pause follows, our eyes holding contact. Then I exhale, and it sounds like surrender. I already know that I'm caving in.
"Six months feels like fucking hell. I thought I'd be able to hold on, but then I saw you again. I just can't stay away," he says, then kisses my cheek. "Please, baby, I'm begging you."
Fuck, this is so hard.
But it's only a one time thing. It has to be.
"Where?"
Elias exhales like this one word just saved his life.
"There's a place outside the city," he says. "An old family cabin that no one uses anymore. I'll send you the address."
Silence stretches as I nibble on my lip, drawing his eyes down. He drags his thumb across them, letting out a soft breath, but I just stare at him with my heart racing, internally conflicted.
"You don't owe me anything," he says. "But I need to see you before I lose my mind."
He's killing me. ButI find myself nodding before any words could leave me. Elias kisses me again, and I walk away before I can change my mind.
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