Chapter twenty
I'm lathered in my favorite vanilla lotion, in matching red lingerie, and wearing high heels on my feet. Heels, out of every other shoe I own, I had to go with these. I'm in the woods for God's sake. It's like I'm going on a date, and not a hook up.
I can practically feel my nerves fleeting and my hands getting clammy around the wheel as my car slowly rolls along the macadam road. The trees tower over me hauntingly as I near the place Elias gave me the directions to, and for a split moment, a question gets stuck in my head.
Am I trying too hard?
Maybe I'm making this out to be more than it actually is, and maybe Elias was just messing with me earlier today. Trying to see if I'd actually turn up, and has a camera put up here somewhere, laughing at my foolishness.
Stop it, Sierra. He isn't like that.
All these thoughts are going to be the death of me someday, but the situation isn't giving me anything else to do but to overthink it.
I never thought I'd be sneaking around with him like this.
Even when we used to hook up through the good proportion of the last trimester of college, the pressure wasn't so high.
Back then, I wouldn't even mind if anyone saw us, or got the hint that we were involved, but right now, things are different.
If we get caught, it's going to be messy.
I glance down at the navigation panel that glows softly in the darkness of the interior. I should be at my destination in a few minutes, and despite being seated, my heart rate is abnormally high. To the point where I can feel my chest burning.
I can't stop thinking about the moment at Elias's place earlier today.
Right after I left with Viviann and finally got home, my mind wouldn't offer me any peace.
The way he kissed me had me completely hypnotized.
I found myself zoning out just thinking about it, and almost would have been late because of my shower thoughts.
I shaved my entire body, took a thorough shower to wash my hair and body, so I smell like a damn birthday cake. My makeup is done, and my hair is let loose. It's like I don't even know how to act anymore. I probably could've showed up in sweats too, but damn it.... it's Elias.
Rolling the car to a stop, I get out and lock it behind me. The wooden cabin a few steps ahead looks cozy, and a small light hanging upon the entrance turns on when it catches my movements.
Elias's car is parked right beside mine, which means he's already here, and in confirmation, I see him step out through the cabin door and to the small front porch.
Our eyes lock and I approach him slowly, trying to hold back a smile when his face lights up.
He looks so handsome, wearing a simple white tee and black pants.
A watch is wrapped around his wrist, and I see it as soon as he reaches out his hand, wiggling his fingers.
When I'm finally standing in front of him, he pulls me into a tight embrace.
"You're here," he murmurs into my neck, inhaling deeply while squeezing me tighter. "Mm, you smell so good."
I can't help but let out a soft chuckle, my arms sneaking around his back too. He leans forward a bit, making me giggle as it causes me to lean backwards. I feel him starting to kiss up my neck and jaw, then my cheek, and finally, my lips. He lingers for a moment before pulling back.
"I was hoping you wouldn't change your mind." His thumb strokes my cheekbone as he looks down at me.
"I almost did," I say, and he pulls me inside, then presses me against the door before locking it shut. A small smirk covers his lips, and he tilts his head, eyes roaming over my face.
"I'm glad you didn't."
For a few moment, we're silent and just looking at each other. His intense gaze makes my heartbeat speed up like a drum, and my body reacts in ways that I can't control. I feel breathless, even though I'm barely doing anything.
"You're such a pretty little thing," Elias says lowly, noticing the reaction on my face that's slightly angled up towards him.
My eyes grow big and soft, glazed over with desire.
His voice is a mix of a low rumble and there's a cozy edge to it, and it's the reason why I can no longer think straight.
He has me wrapped around his finger, and he knows it.
"Nobody knows how to take care of you," he continues, his fingers tracing my cheek and brushing lightly down my neck.
"Except for me," he leans in and whispers into my ear, lips padding over my earlobe ever so gently. I close my eyes and my breath shivers.
I try to steady my heart rate but it's no use. I want to feel his lips on mine so badly. I'm longing for it so intensely that I find myself leaning into him more but he's quicker, moving his head to the side.
"Don't tease me." I murmur.
"But I like seeing that you want me just as bad."
I do.
So much.
But in the back of my mind, I'm still not completely comfortable with us hiding around like this. I'm split between the good and the bad, unable to decide which side am I going to lean into—the carnal desire, or the rational thought.
My hands reach for him again, but they're hesitant. Devoid of all confidence. I want him when I know I shouldn't.
Maybe it was wrong to come here.
"But this..." I start, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat as my voice trails off. Elias watches my parted mouth, tracing them with his thumb while his breathing switches. His other hand grasps my waist, but second thoughts flood my mind like a vice.
"All of this..." I drag my hands down his sides. "It's not mine. I can't—"
"Yes, you can. You're the only one who can, don't you understand?" he says softly. "Just touch me. Do whatever you want to me."
I'm aware that he can sense my slight reluctance, so he takes my hands and places them around his neck, luring me in. "I don't want you thinking about anything else," he says. "Just think of me. Think of us."
In that moment, I can't help it any longer. The way his tone dances all over me and turns my senses afloat makes it all feel beyond what's right and what isn't. I let go of all the negative mantra in my head as soon as he closes the gap between us.
I know that it's over for me then. The same feeling cascades over me as before.
Elias pulls me into him, drawing his brows together while savouring the intense kiss we share in this isolated cabin.
It would feel so much better if there wasn't a familliar knowing stuck at the back of our minds...
knowing that we need to part later again and hide our attraction away from the world, continuing to act like we were never anything more than just friends.
I taste the need on his tongue, soft lips wrapping up my own as we get lost in the short-lived fantasy. We're panting more from exhilaration than the lack of breath, desperately clinging onto each other once we disconnect our lips again.
"I need your touch. I need your lips. Everything you can give me, I'll take. I can't be without you," he breathes out, hot air fanning against my neck as he pulls my jacket down my shoulders and lets it drop to the floor.
"Six months without you is like a death sentence, Sierra. I can't even tell you. I thought I'd be able to hold on, but I can't. I can't. It hasn't even been a month, and I feel like I'm dying inside. Nothing that I want is aligned to me. Not football. Not you."
I can tell he's stressed out. His words are rushed and he pulls down my skirt, then lifts my top over my head. "Fuck," he breathes out, lips attaching to my collarbones as he brings me in with his hands on my ass. "You're so beautiful."
He lets out a low hum of approval, making me gasp softly when I'm pressed against his body. "You put that on just for me?" he squeezes again.
"Yeah," I say, making him groan lowly and let out a few curses. When his lips begin working on the skin of my neck, I'm completely and utterly lost.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't make this different," he murmurs, his voice strained as his eyes searching mine.
"I wanted to ask you to be mine. Because we both knew that we wanted more."
He exhales, brushing his lips against my shoulder.
"Those late nights and all those kisses and hugs that lasted longer than needed... it meant something."
His hand comes down between my thighs, and he rubs his fingers against me, already feeling my arousal dripping through the material. A small gasp emits from my lips and he smirks a little, even though his eyes are pooling with need.
"I think I'll always come back to you, Sierra. No matter what."
I feel my panties getting lowered then, and his middle finger slides inside me, gradually joined by his index, and then his ring finger. I clench a little, needing more than this. So much more.
"Eli," I let out desperately.My head rolls back against the door and my hips grind into his hand.
"Hmm?" He pumps his fingers in and out, spreading my arousal around, up to my clit where he circles it with his thumb. "So needy..."
I whine at the lack of his touch when he suddenly lifts his fingers up to his mouth and looks me directly in the eyes when he sucks them off. I'm flushed and desperate, arching into him.
"Please," I whimper, watching as he unbuckles his belt and frees himself, already hard for me.
"I know, baby," he murmurs, then lifts my thigh and hooks it under his grip. I nearly cry from excitement when he slides into me halfway and pulls back out. "Fuck, I missed you," he grunts, slowly sinking in to the hilt.
"Oh, my God," I drawl out in a moan while touching his skin. Finally.
A shaky breath leaves me, and he starts to move with heated urgency. My back is hitting the door behind me, but it's the least of my concerns right now. The pleasure he gives me is so overwhelming. It makes me so needy after weeks of being without it.
"Fuck. You always make it feel like we're doing this for the first time." Elias grunts, biting down on my shoulder gently. My fingernails dig into his back and the continuous bumps of the door creaking from our movements flows into the room, along with our heavy breaths and noises of pleasure.
"Oh fuck, I'm so fucking close," he moans, and the urgency in his movements makes me tug on his hair.
A whimper leaves me, and his hands squeeze my hips tighter.
I can feel the familiar burning need building up inside of me, and the way his pelvis grinds against my clit again and again makes me lose it.
I clench around him involuntarily, making his hips snap harder, sloppier and hurried. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he groans, wrapping his right arm tighter around me, bringing his hand down to my ass cheek and spilling inside of me, only then slowing his movements.
"Sierra," he breathes out, resting his forehead against my shoulder. My only balance relies on him holding me up, and my thighs tremble from my release.
Elias moves us to the bed then. He gets rid of all the remnants of his clothes, then pulls my dress down too. I get out of my bra and he kisses down my shoulder, hands following his trail when we're laying on the comfortable mattress.
"Let me have you again," he murmurs, kissing down my ribs and stomach. I don't stop him from taking more. I couldn't.
"Think you deserve it?" I tease, and he growls playfully, pinching my waist to make me squirm.
"Yeah," he says, and it sounds so unbelievably adorable.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," he confirms, his voice low and warm. Then he smirks against my skin and adds, "Besides... you look like you missed me. Figured I'd do us both a favor."
I chuckle at his cheeky response and wrap my arms around his neck. Our foreheads rest together, breaths mingling. My fingers are still tangled in his hair, and his hands are gripping my hips like he doesn't trust himself to let go. "I like your thinking," I say softly.
"Mm, yeah?" he pecks my lips, making the corner of my lips tug upwards and I tilt my head against the pillow, making him repeat the action again.
I kiss him back, and it slowly turns into passionate kissing, our tongues brushing together and his hands roaming down my thighs to pull them around his waist, and my body arches up into his.
Minutes suddenly turn into hours, and we're taking everything we have to give to each other. Our minds are shut off while only our bodies work. By the end of it, I'm wrapped up in his arms, and laying my head on his chest.
"I should go," I say quietly, having my worries pushed into my head once he pulls me closer and our desires reduce into satisfaction.
"You can go in the morning," Elias mumbles with his eyes closed, trailing his lips slowly to litter small pecks across my skin.
Who am I to argue with that kind of affection?
A sigh leaves my mouth and I scoot closer, feeling his warmth radiating onto my skin as the night grows colder. His breaths turn deeper as he relaxes beside me.
I take my time to play with his hair, twisting it around and massaging his scalp, being unable to sleep. He's so beautiful. It would be a waste to sleep it through while he looks so angelic.
Right as I want to move to adjust for more comfort, his arm instinctively shoots out to hold me back. "Sierra," he murmurs, pulling me into him. "Don't. Stay with me."
I don't say anything. The corner of my mouth upturns because he thought I was going to leave. I know that a few more hours won't hurt. After all, it's all I can allow us to do.
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