Chapter twenty one
SIERRA
I'm woken up by my phone buzzing uncontrollably.
It's a Saturday morning, and I forgot to put it on silent the evening prior, which is causing me to groan into my pillow.
Right as I think the notifications will stop, they just keep coming, to the point where I'm sighing loudly in defeat and annoyance.
With a yawn and a stretch, I roll over and pick the phone up from my nightstand, seeing a few incoming messages lighting up the screen, coming from the group chat.
LET ELIAS brEATHE.
Sebastian: So
Sebastian: We're really doing this?
Jenny: Unfortunately
Mia: Too formal if I put on a dress?
Jenny: No. I might put one on too
My eyes skim over the text messages.
Right.
We're going to Elias's place today. His wife wants to meet us for lunch.
It might as well have been supper since we're invited so late in the afternoon.
I put my phone back on silent and toss it on the bed beside my legs. I lay back down, and discomfort settles in my chest like a wildfire. What I'd rather do right now is stay home and excuse myself from it all with the pretense that I'm coming down with the flu. But I know I can't.
I reluctantly get up from the bed and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and relieve myself. I contemplate taking a shower as well, and once I strip, my eyes skim over the dark marks on my inner thighs—a result that reminds me of Elias.
What happened between me and him two days ago was a false sense of escape. A moment of weakness. Something that, by no rational means, should continue. Despite our amazing time, I just can't allow it to happen again, no matter how much my desires want me to break.
I know by now that my feelings have resurfaced yet again.
I can feel it so deeply in my heart, and if we keep going, I know that I'll only be hurting myself in the process.
Elias is not mine. Not completely. That fact alone makes me want to distance myself, even though everything inside me is screaming for me to go and pull him closer.
Shaking my head a little, I urge my mind to free me from my belting wishes. I already messed up once when I gave in.
Stepping under the shower head, I drench myself with hot water, closing my eyes when I feel it trickle down my head, soaking up my hair, face and body. I go through my usual routine, almost like I'm on autopilot, before stepping out and wrapping my body into a navy blue cotton robe.
I decide to wear a simple black satin blouse and a pair of straight-leg jeans. I also put on a pair of heels, wanting to be presentable, since the girls said they might wear dresses.
Right as I'm putting my dried hair up with a claw clip, my eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. My stomach churns as I realize how fast time goes by when something unpleasant is coming up.
Deciding to take a small bag with me, I fill it up with everything I need before locking up behind me and walking to my driveway. Kyle is the one who picks me up, and Sebastian's riding shotgun, so I have to take the back seat.
"You guys ready?" I tease as I get in and close the door behind me.
"Hell, yeah. Free food." Sebastian smirks when he looks back at me, but Kyle remains unreadable as he drives. We also pick up the girls, carpooling to the place.
When we get there, Jenny rings the doorbell.
Elias answers, greeting us all and letting us in.
Our eyes lock, and we keep our interaction short before Ruby comes around, too, wearing an elegant dress that makes her look like she's hosting a gala.
She greets us cheerfully, shaking hands, and her brows jump up in recognition and surprise upon seeing me.
"Sierra, right?" she asks, her eyes assessing me. Despite the smile on her face, her eyes are a stark contrast. They're sharp, not matching the warmth she's trying to project. Something cold washes over me beneath her stare.
"Yeah." I give her a polite smile, and she looks up at Elias. I notice the way she wraps her hand around his arm, and jealousy boils within me.
"I didn't realize you guys knew each other," she says. "Elias, you didn't mention it."
"I didn't want Sierra to feel uncomfortable," he says, but his tone is much colder in comparison to how he spoke to the rest of us. He shakes off her hand, but Ruby ignores the jab altogether and leads us to the dining room.
I see that she had gone all out. Linen napkins folded like swans, candles flickering in brass holders, and everything looking like it came directly out of a movie scene.
The wine glasses gleam under the chandeliers like small spotlights on the table, catching every flicker of movement like they're documenting the things no one had confessed to yet. Everything is extravagant, and honestly, too overwhelming.
A thought occurs to me that everything already looks over-the-top, so I have a hard time figuring out why does she even want to change the decor in the first place. But I guess money has to circle.
"I'm so glad you all came," Ruby says, beaming as she pours wine into Sebastian's glass. "I've been wanting to meet you all since the wedding."
Sebastian smiles politely, giving Kyle a look that I can't quite decode as we all take our seats.
The place cards are also a surprising touch, but luckily I'm seated next to Kyle.
I don't fail to notice the way his jaw is tightened when Ruby gets a little too close to him, and I don't know why.
He's a little shifty, eyes darting, but tries to keep it together.
Ruby pours for him too, but he doesn't touch it.
Sebastian and Mia sit together on the opposite side, and across from me also sits the man who has left fingerprints on my heart. My eyes flick up to meet his for the briefest second, then down again. My fingers trace the rim of my glass like I'm trying to keep myself tethered.
Ruby takes her seat at the head of the table to my left, brushing her dress beneath her. "Elias never tells me anything about you all. I've been trying to get him to bring you over for weeks now," she chuckles.
"Maybe I was protecting them," Elias says dryly, making us all perk up with surprise. Our eyes dart around the table, sending each other quick looks. That comment definitely was a little back-handed.
Ruby just looks at him with mock offense, then turns back to us, trying to ease the tension that simmers. "Well, I hope you enjoy the food. We have five courses lined up today."
"Five?" Mia asks. "I didn't expect that."
"I went all out," Ruby smiles. "But I have to ask, does anyone have any allergies?"
We all shake our heads and she stands up, looking over us all. "Good, then. Shall we begin?" she asks, nodding back once seeing us agree, and then she saunters off into the kitchen.
I'm surprised when I see two young men, and one woman round the corner and serve the plates of food to us at the same time.
In front of me is something that looks like a seared scallop with a golden-brown crust, placed in one side of the shell, and topped with garnish and a sauce. It looks appetizing.
"Good evening, everyone." A man greets suddenly, and all of us set eyes on his chef's uniform.
He has a polite smile on his face and gestures to our plates.
"We're starting you off with a seared scallop with lemon beurre blanc and microgreens. Enjoy," he says, and all of us thank him before he disappears again.
I'm not used to this type of thing. None of us are, actually, and it feels new or even a bit strange because it's like we're in a restaurant, and not at someone's home.
We get used to it soon though. All the courses turn out to be delicious, and things progress in a way that's actually not as bad as we expected it to be.
The conversation flows, and Ruby is staying pleasant, asking us questions and shares more about herself as well, wanting to connect with us, and for the most part, it's working.
Sebastian clears his throat after a while, taking a sip of his wine. "The food was really great."
"It was," Ruby smiles. "Aimé is a good friend of mine. I'm delighted that I could have him cook for you all today."
Kyle smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
He looks like he wants to crawl under the table next to me and I'm starting to become concerned.
Elias seems to notice it too when he looks at him across the table, then locks eyes with me for a brief moment.
He then takes a sip of wine, letting the bitterness cut through the tension.
Ruby leans back in her chair, glass in hand, looking comfortable. "I want us to do this more often," she says brightly. "We're practically going to be like a family, right?"
At that, I glance around the room and see Jenny's hand frozen around her fork besides Kyle who is stiff like he wants to vanish. Mia gives me one of those vague supportive smiles that could mean anything. Sebastian clears his throat a little and tries to make everything feel less tense.
"Sure. Cheers to that." He quickly raises his glass, not wanting the awkwardness to linger, and in this moment I appreaciate it more than words can tell. Kyle, meanwhile, doesn't touch his wine again, and sticks to his water.
I reach for my glass, trying to tame the tremble in my fingers.
I take a sip and wish that there was something stronger in there.
I wish that Ruby wasn't so beautiful and composed, and so good at pretending that this is normal.
Well, for her, it probably is. She's very welcoming, and a great host despite the turmoil veiling within the rest of us.
Kyle shifts next to me again, and I wonder once again what that's about. He's being awkward, not saying a word, but that's probably because he feels uncomfortable with someone around who he doesn't know that much.
Under the table, my foot brushes Elias's on accident. He doesn't look at me, but I feel the way he freezes for half a second. I pull my leg back like I'd touched a flame.
"So, tell me more about yourselves," Ruby starts again, her tone smooth and inquisitive. Then she gestures between Jenny and Sebastian. "Are you two a couple?"
Sebastian raises his brows, amused. "No. This one's mine, actually." He nudges Mia gently, placing a hand on her thigh with a little squeeze. He seems slightly thrown off by the question, but doesn't let it rattle him. He remains composed with easy confidence.
Mia offers a soft smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Ruby tilts her head with surprise before laughing lightly, eyes flicking between them.
"Really?" she says dramatically, lips curling up. "I wouldn't have guessed. You two seem... quiet around each other." She picks up her wine glass and takes another sip, like she didn't just drop a bomb into the center of the table. "You look a lot more comfortable around Jenny."
Looks are exchanged immediately, but Sebastian leans back, handling it. "We're all close. College did that to us."
Ruby's smile tightens at the corners. "Must be nice," she says, her voice sweet with something sharp underneath.
For the rest of our time there, we all do our best to play nice, but I can't help feeling strange after that interaction. We're pretending that nothing's weird. But something is.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but things feel off, and I see that in the way Mia gets uncomfortable, and the way Sebastian keeps reassuring her with light touches.
Kyle is stiff as a boulder next to me, and the usual bubbly and bright Jenny is completely quiet.
Elias doesn't say much either. And for the most part, we're all just silently hoping to get away from here soon.