Chapter 10 #2
“No, I understand, you’re not dismissive like that,” she accepted.
She closed her mouth and then opened it again before trying one last time.
“I’ve felt ready to progress, but I haven’t known how to articulate it.
I know this century or even the previous one has allowed women to—I don’t know I will ever be a woman who can make the first move. ”
That was the green light I needed. “I’d like to start kissing your cheek too like I do your hair. Is that okay?”
She gave me a relieved smile. “Yes, I think that would be lovely.”
But then she did that cute thing where she cleared her throat and hurried to change the topic and busy herself. It was her armor in a way, and I knew I probably shouldn’t like it because it came from a place of pain, but… So much about Aurora was honestly cute.
I redressed and kissed her cheek, thanking her for my food and helping my lion through all of this. She accepted it, but I heard her heart race a bit, her cheeks flush.
Just not from fear. No disgust or hurt like when I’d kissed her lips.
It healed a part of my soul that I could be so tender and patient with her, really it did. That wasn’t why I was with her, but a lot of men would have bailed, especially one who hadn’t gotten laid after being in prison for twenty fucking years.
“Those of us not needed for this conversation, let’s step out,” Ha-joon said once the conferring seemed to be all done.
He turned and gave me the best even look he could.
“Swing by my office if you have any questions or you’ve got my number.
Seriously, use it.” He cut a glance to Aurora before turning away.
Got it. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by being here for the results or like he was there as Ellie’s representative even. Not to muddy the waters basically.
It was solid of him and I appreciated it. It seemed to miff Aurora like she was a problem, but I muttered to her that it was appropriate like he had a conflict.
She settled then but was still nervous like I was. In the end, it was under a dozen people who we’d worked with pretty fast after meeting Monroe.
“The news isn’t great,” he started with a bang once we were all seated at a large table off to the side.
He started with Aurora. “As you know, this condition is normally for women who are abused in the months after giving birth, but more than that, it’s normally women who have given up in a certain manner.
“No matter the medical side to us, there is magic in every supe being. It’s not simply science that allows Creed to shift from man to animal.
And just as humans have their conditions that give them physical symptoms from emotional and mental stress, that is comparable.
That’s not to say what you suffered wasn’t real.
“It was very real, and so is what the other women suffered as well. It’s a combination of physical, emotional, and mental abuse—extreme stress that hits a breaking point more than the science of what is being done to their body.
How can I say that? You have no lasting scars.
You have nothing we see like damage to kidneys. ”
“I might not have tried to end my life, but I lost the desire to continue living it under the stress, and the gods punished me by taking my immortality,” she said evenly.
Monroe let out a long sigh as others looked uncomfortable.
“I cannot say you are wrong, but trust me as someone who has lived much longer than you that the gods are not so petty. It’s more your spirit was broken and that link to the magic inside of you that allows you to be immortal over science.
That is how I have always seen it—had it explained to me. ”
She sat with that a moment and nodded. “I understand. Yes, that makes more sense, especially for women who are new mothers. I cannot think the gods punish them after bringing in new life when they are unsupported to that extreme.”
“Exactly,” Monroe agreed.
“Can you fix it?” I pushed, ready to get to the fucking meat. Yes, they needed to know the how and why, but what now was what Aurora needed most.
“We don’t know, but in my findings and the journals brought in, the accounts we’ve found of—if you think of it as a broken spirit, the answer is a sort of rejuvenation of spirit. A new linking or fixing of it.”
That wording sparked something in me and I swore under my breath. “You want her to mate.” I growled when he did a double take. “Wolves talk about a new linking of souls as taking a mate. I learned that in the pack I was adopted into. You want her to mate.”
“Not want her to but yes, we believe that is the answer,” the woman said gently giving Aurora a kind look. “There is a different magic infused in your soul—your spirit when you mate. We think that the only way to fix a spirit that is broken in this way. That we know of.”
“And we’re not saying this is the end of this. We’re giving you the answers we have,” Monroe said firmly before turning to me. “Especially when the answer seems to be the same for both of you.”
“You want Creed to mate?” Aurora breathed. “By the gods, how did that conclusion—that’s why that man was so locked in on my infertility.”
“A knuckle-dragging demeaning man,” the woman grumbled. “Especially when you have absolutely no indicators of being infertile. Your soul was broken, maybe before the abuse by your parents. Why would anyone think you could conceive life then?”
That… That actually made a lot of fucking sense, and I saw Aurora thought the same.
“You think I’m going to go feral,” I said sadly.
“My lion has been bound too long and now he won’t be—we won’t be in control.
” I sighed when Aurora gave me a confused look almost like she couldn’t believe I was listening to this.
“It’s talked about a lot in shifter communities.
Our animals not understanding the loneliness of people. ”
“And for Creed specifically, his lion not being around his own kind,” Monroe said gently.
“They not only did damage by binding you, but you’ve had almost no interaction with other lions—your lion sees them as enemies.
It will take time and work to retrain him, for lack of a better term.
” He glanced at Aurora. “As you put in effort in therapy, Creed will need the same.”
“But you’re saying until then he doesn’t have an anchor to keep him stable? Because he’s two beings in one body?” she hedged.
“Yes, you actually put it more succinctly than I was,” Monroe said. “Plus…” He gave me a hesitant look and I nodded.
I wasn’t keeping secrets from Aurora, especially when she was supporting me like this.
“He wasn’t the only orphan that disgusting pack adopted,” Monroe continued. “However, from what I could tell when I snuck in and did some digging, he’s the only one they bound.”
“So it might not have been done to harm me?” I hedged, some small part of me holding onto hope that my adoptive parents weren’t as big of bastards as they’d shown.
He gave me a sad look. “With the intent? No, but without care if it did. They have no trace of you in their home, Creed. I’m sorry, but you were a tool to them. They took care of you like one, and they didn’t try to mistreat their tool, but didn’t care much if it was broken.”
I swallowed loudly and bobbed my head, comforted when Aurora held my hand and leaned into me. “I know I’m a fool, but they were the only parents I knew, and I won’t ever really know the truth of my own.”
“Never say never, cub. I’ve learned that in my many years,” he said gently. He winked when I frowned. “Let’s get through this mess, but I like to cause trouble now and again. I’m sure I can with that Alpha to get you some answers when you’re stable and can handle them.”
That sounded… Amazing.
“Now, there’s no rush for Aurora, though leaving a spirit broken is never recommended,” he continued after giving a few moments to absorb it all.
“But this is pressing for you, Creed. The older you get—it’s a miracle you haven’t imploded.
Even if you’re grounded—I won’t lie to you that this will be easy.
It will get dicey, and there’s a chance you could still go feral. ”
“Oh, okay, I was afraid it would be bad fucking news,” I said with a growl. “Awesome.” I stood and apologized to Aurora when I basically yanked her with me.
“I could stretch my legs,” she forgave with a worried chuckle.
I let go of her hand and paced before turning to Monroe. “Any good fucking news?”
“Yes, if you make it through it, you will be a force to be reckoned with, and I’m very sure your adoptive family knew that. They took a risk adopting you and binding you instead of…”
Killing me.
He waited until I nodded. “I’m a very old man, and I’ve found not much focuses a man more than three things.”
“Revenge,” I mumbled, already knowing that one.
“Right you are.”
“And?” I asked, my brain thinking of too much all at once to focus.
“Love.” He chuckled at the dry look I gave him.
That sounded like romance movie bullshit.
“And autonomy. You have never felt like your choices were yours, cub. Everything was manipulation and debt and came with a price. You went into law because of owing them and now your lion wasn’t even yours among wolves.
“This will give you a future of your own making. It doesn’t have to be here being an EMT.
The sky is the limit. This could change the charges brought against you and—you will be the decider of your fate and cut the cord with them for real.
With that past. Those three things are what you will need to focus on to make it through this, Creed. ”
I opened my mouth to tell him one wasn’t reasonable… But I slowly closed it and shot a quick glance at Aurora. “It’s too soon. I’ve never even been in love. I wouldn’t know—”
“You both might not be in love fully yet, but I’ve been seeing auras and the string of fate and mates for a thousand years. It’s all there, and the bond you have already is stronger than some who have been mated for decades.”
“He’s right,” another woman who hadn’t talked yet said.
“Honestly, I’m a bit jealous. You have such a good foundation for a mating that—I’m jealous.
The start with my mate was all passion and fireworks, but you have such a deep level of understanding and respect that…
” She let out a slow breath and I smelled the jealousy.
Wow.
“So mate each other to save our asses,” I whispered, black spots forming in my vision. “Yeah, no, I saw that fucking coming.”
“I’m not even offended,” Aurora said quietly. “We barely know each other.”
“But that’s not how you really feel,” Monroe argued gently.
“No, I feel like I’ve known him—I’ve never felt like someone sees me the way Creed does,” Aurora admitted. “But I was married for so many years and that was a disaster of abuse and pain. I barely know Creed and you’re talking an unbreakable bond of mating.”
“Not unbreakable,” Monroe corrected. “Difficult to break, but I’ve broken many a mating. You couldn’t until Creed stabilized for sure.” He sighed when we didn’t say anything. “What does your heart say at the idea of him mating someone else? Or dying, Aurora?”
“Hey, none of this is on her,” I snapped. “Don’t make this her problem!”
The smirk he shot me like I’d just proved his point about my feelings for her irked me. He wasn’t wrong… But it still fucking irked me.