Chapter 12
Creed
I watched as every emotion played over Aurora’s face. Then she did the cutest impression of a fish before I practically saw her mind explode. She mumbled something incoherent and fled.
My lion was pissed at that—making her uncomfortable, but I promised him that it was needed if we were going to mate. It was people stuff that he wouldn’t understand and I wasn’t being mean.
Haven’t I changed and not been mean to people in a while?
I felt at least he was on my side when he settled.
He’d been very vocal how often he didn’t like me screwing people over or which side I was on with our “family.” Yeah, well, that was part of the problem of being in the mob, and since I’d never decided to join…
It was a prison sentence in another way since there was no real getting out.
Thinking of that made me frown. I would need to deal with that situation to keep Aurora safe but definitely after my lion was unbound.
I ate the massive grinder she’d made me, put everything away, emptied her dishwasher, and did my dishes before she finally came out.
“I apologize for that. That was incredibly rude,” she whispered.
“But understandable and I knew you’d come back.” I moved closer and kissed her hair when she leaned into me. “Thank you for the sandwich. It was exactly what I was craving.”
She glanced around and covered her face. “Thank you for cleaning up. I didn’t think I was gone that long.”
I wanted to lie and say she wasn’t, but it was like a half an hour. “I inhale my food.” That was true but… No need to pick on her. “Are you mad at me?”
“No, myself, because I didn’t even—I knew we’d be intimate eventually, but—your life was at the front of my mind. Not our sex life.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “How would we even do that with your parole and rules and—I need to understand more of the logistics, Creed.”
Yes, she really did, and I even understood that with how overwhelming this all was for her.
I moved her to sit down and smiled. “You were right about Ellie and she came through. I ended up having a meeting with the head of the New York City Police and someone high in the federal police at the president’s request.
“My sentence is being pardoned.” I nodded when her eyes flashed shock.
“I made it clear that I wasn’t ready to rat on the pack yet, but I gave them piles of what they need to clean up the cops.
They will probably rat to save their asses but either way, it was enough.
I was under magic, and when the president heard I was adopted into the mob this way… ”
“Ellie says he’s a good man who truly cares,” she muttered.
“It seems so because he’s going to reinstate my law license if I repass the federal bar,” I told her. I smiled when she beamed at me. “Yeah, so—I’m still going to finish my medic training so I can volunteer and help in a crisis. I—it was good to learn all of that.” I swallowed loudly.
“But you won’t be able to be an EMT after your lion is free,” she whispered. “Ha-joon warned me. He can being so powerful because—he’s different. You’re older but your lion was so abused. You’re going to be volatile for a while. You could hurt someone.”
“Yeah, I could, and I’m going to need serious flexibility to—I want to help your plan with your family, and I told Alexis that I’m in to help Amanda’s Hope.
I told Ellie the same. Gerald is great, but he’s…
He’s a bit too prim, and sometimes ASH needs a fucking shark.
I know those waters and people know he doesn’t.
” I searched her eyes. “That’s not in your plan. ”
“I’m fine with it for now, but once ASH is on the path it needs to be, especially with the expansion—I would like to detangle,” she hedged.
“Agreed. I’m thinking a couple of years because I pay my debts.
” I shook my head when she argued. “Ellie went beyond to fix the mistake. I’m doing her a solid because I can now too.
” I reached out and cupped her cheek. “And because she’s your daughter—biological or not.
So I’ll help them right the ship after my lion stabilizes and then we figure out what’s next. ”
She opened her mouth again but then closed it before pulling out her phone. I wasn’t even going to apologize for looking at what she was doing when she pulled out her phone in the middle of something so important.
And when I saw she opened our text thread… Yeah, I was looking.
She sent me a green heart and a traffic light emoji which would have confused just about anyone.
Luckily, her shrink was smart enough to give me a warning note first. She’d told Aurora that I was smart enough to figure things out if Aurora couldn’t handle making the first move.
Basically, I was waiting for her to say she was ready and that was all she had to do.
But my woman struggled to do even that, so the shrink suggested she give me a green light basically.
I nodded that I saw it and smiled at her. “Green light. Got it.” I scented the relief off of her and was glad we were able to handle this better than most because we were on the same page of so much else. “Can I kiss you, Aurora?”
She nodded and I started to lean in but then froze.
“Wait, I don’t want to misunderstand.” I swallowed a sigh when she frowned.
“Aurora, I can’t ever have you look at me again like last time when I kissed you without permission.
It broke something inside of me that… I’m not a good man.
I’ve done a lot wrong, but I’ve never, not ever forced a woman to do anything she hasn’t wanted. I can’t.”
“Yes,” she said clearly, but quietly. “Yes, please.”
Okay, the “please” was adorable and worth my discomfort in checking.
I went in slow and gave her a chance to stop me or turn away. She didn’t but was shaking a bit. I didn’t smell fear but what I thought was anticipation nerves?
It was distracting. Maybe normally it wouldn’t have been, but the way she looked at me last time had hurt and I realized I’d stopped moving.
I swore under my breath and then pulled away, hating the hurt on her face as I did. “I’m sorry. I got scared you were going to change your mind and be upset with me again. Gods, I’m so fucking stupid.”
“You’re not. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Creed. I did this, and I didn’t mean to upset you,” she rasped as she followed after me.
Hearing her sound so despondent and lost snapped me out of my head.
The fact she was apologizing for her abuse and the resulting effects upset me more than what I was feeling.
I spun around and slid my arm around her as I leaned down.
I slanted my lips over hers and gave her a soft kiss that took both our breaths away.
I was more affected than maybe any kiss had ever left me, and when I saw her eyes glazed over and cheeks flushed, I was sunk. Completely fucking hooked for sure.
“Okay, we’re going to have to work on a red light signal because I’m going to easily get lost in you and I can’t hurt you, Aurora,” I admitted after several moments. “How about pinching me? I’ll know that’s to stop just in case I forget to keep checking?”
She shook herself out of her daze. “No, I—my doctor said I needed to learn to say no. I have the option now, and I need to woman up and own that I get that right unlike too many others still trapped.”
“Hey, hey, not everything needs to be done today,” I reminded her.
“How about both? You work on saying no and I’ll look out for pinches just in case I lose my head.
” I cleared my throat. “It’s been a long time for me after all and I’ve never had to be gentle.
I would feel better with some guardrails for me too. ”
She leaned back and searched my eyes. “I feel like—should we talk about this topic? Couples do that, right?”
“I don’t have pretty answers but yeah, I’ve not had any contact for over twenty years,” I answered.
“I didn’t have the normal prison shit because I was a lion and people knew I was with the mob.
The gangs stayed away and other wolves looked out for me thinking I was in good with the New York pack still. ”
“No, that’s—I mean—well, that took a turn,” she rambled, staring at me with too large of eyes.
I cursed. That hadn’t been what she’d meant at all.
I lifted her up and set her on the counter without thinking, wincing when she yelped.
“Sorry, that’s what I meant. I’ll—I know I said I’d ask for everything but…
” I let her go and scrubbed my hands roughly over my head. “I’m such a fucking dipshit.”
“Creed, stop,” she begged, reaching for me. “You’re not and—this isn’t easy and I’m fine. I’m not upset. It just startled me. You didn’t strip me because you’ve touched me before. You know the lines. I can say I don’t like you lifting me up if I don’t. I thought it was cute.”
“You did?” I checked, relieved when she nodded and was still flushed. I moved closer but was careful not to move between her legs like I was pushing. I tried to think of something clever or appropriate to say, but I came up blank.
So I simply kissed her again. Deeper this time but not with tongue yet because… I didn’t want to scare her? She hadn’t actually said she’d ever been kissed. Her husband had wanted her for children. The elders had wanted—it was best not to think about that especially when kissing her.
The point was Aurora hadn’t had normal or gentle.
And I wasn’t the right person to give it to her, but I was going to fucking try my damnedest.
“Green light?” I asked when we parted.
“I need a moment.” She grabbed me when I immediately went to let her go and back away. She snuggled against my chest. “You did nothing wrong and I’m fine. I don’t feel—I’m fine.” She sounded confused, almost like to herself. “I think I want to savor the moment. I’m fine. I want to—I’m fine.”