Chapter 15 #2
“So you reject gifts and bonuses?” I said as I moved in front of the man with a scowl.
“I believe your industry accepts tips all of the time as payment. You clearly refuse them with your opinions, yes?” I nodded behind him to Creed.
“This was a gift, a bonus from his boss for all of his extra work, you snooty little brat. Now do your job.”
“I could if you move out of the way, ma’am,” he bit out, glancing around at the people all watching us now.
I snorted and moved out of the way, making a show of how much space was there with my slight frame. I gestured for him to go ahead and lead the way.
“Yeah, nice you turn me on right at the start and I have to behave,” Creed whispered in my ear as he took my arm. “Thanks for defending me.”
“There are ignorant people who simply need to be taught reality,” I told him firmly.
“A gift isn’t a coupon. Plus, restaurants run promotions all of the time to drive in business.
If the staff looks down on those people, it really defeats the purpose and management should be told. ” I smiled when the host flinched.
Creed growled quietly when the host tried to pull out my chair and smooth things over. He handled it and then snatched the menus, giving me one.
“I thought it was very nice of your boss to appreciate you and give you this nice experience,” I said firmly. “Gifts are meant to be enjoyed and appreciated, never torn down.”
“Your moral compass makes me so jealous,” he complimented as he opened his menu.
He kept my gaze when I opened my mouth. “The world was different then, Aurora. You were trying to put bandages over gaping wounds of life and injustice. You did it wrong. That’s vastly different from the hurt and pain I caused—others cause every day. ”
I focused on the menu and swallowed loudly. “Don’t give my sins a pass.”
“I’m not. You know you did wrong. You pay for them every day and do better. All I want is for you to stop punishing yourself—stop tearing yourself down as not worth forgiving or more.”
“I will try,” I whispered, glad when he let it go.
Dinner was lovely and the manager came over on his own to apologize for the host. He made a point to say the restaurant made such arrangements all of the time.
They appreciated their reputation that a night out there was a good bonus that bosses should give.
He said dessert was on him and wouldn’t charge the card on file, thanking us for understanding.
“You know why the host did it, right?” Creed asked when dessert came.
“Idiots have… Bugs up their asses? I believe that’s what’s said here,” I offered.
“Yes, they do,” he chuckled, a twinkle in his eyes.
He always had that when I used crass language or tried to use newer English phrases that I didn’t always understand.
He thought it was cute of me, which was good?
“He wants you.” He nodded when I did a double take.
“I smelled the desire and then jealousy when he saw me. He wanted to knock me down a peg.”
“People are petty,” I replied, not sure what else to say. I thought about it as I tried the chocolate cake and moaned. I realized that I’d eaten almost all of it when I hurried to offer the rest to Creed.
He seemed to snap out of his thoughts and cleared his throat. “I’m good. You’re really enjoying it.”
“Try a bite at least. You like chocolate too.” I offered some on my fork for him. I swallowed loudly as he leaned over the table with his eyes only for me, making it clear that it wasn’t the cake he wanted. “I feel like I should apologize.”
He swallowed the bite and licked his lips. “You’re seductive and tantalizing, Aurora. You weren’t doing it on purpose or to tease me. I’m glad you enjoyed dinner.”
But he was ready for the rest of the night. He was making that clear. It was time to… Move forward. He needed to be treated.
Which meant we needed to mate.
And he wanted to be intimate first.
I suddenly didn’t want any more cake, setting down my fork.
“Why are you sad?” he immediately asked. “This was all—”
“It was all perfect,” I promised him, forcing a smile. His nose was too good. “I’m full.” I swallowed a sigh when he pushed. “Please leave it alone. Sometimes I just need to feel what I am.”
“Sorry,” he whispered and looked younger somehow, rejected. “Just tell me what I did, Aurora. The not knowing what I did to hurt you is—”
“Creed, I tell you when you’ve done something. Please just trust me that I’m being truthful. Please.” I blinked back tears, hating myself for upsetting this and him.
“Of course. I do believe you—I always trust you. You just also never put yourself first. Nothing to you is something to most. That’s what I was arguing. I won’t—I’ll try not to.”
Fair enough. I thanked him and flagged our server, asking for the rest of the desserts to be boxed for later. She read the tension and promised to handle it and then told Creed he just had to add tip and sign the receipt so it was billed to the card on file.
He handled it all and I thanked her when she handed over a small bag with our leftovers. Creed thanked the manager again on the way out and escorted me to valet.
He didn’t say anything until he handed over the ticket and the man went to get my vehicle.
“You smell like I probably did when I went for sentencing. Like your—like all the good in your life is over. That’s what shocked me so much.
You went from happy and moaning at the cake to almost despair, Aurora. ”
“Sorry.” I let out a shaky breath. “And I’m sorry I don’t know how to talk to you about what I’m struggling with this time.” How did I tell the man I had feelings for that I was sad because I knew we had to have sex? I was grieving that our relationship couldn’t just stay like this. He needed more.
And I didn’t want it. Ever.
I thought about what my doctor and Alexis told me repeatedly and tried hard to believe in them. I was snapped out of my thoughts as the car pulled up and Creed opened the door for me. It took all of my courage, but I was brave and reached for his hand when we drove off.
He let out a long breath and raised our joined hands to his lips, kissing my skin. “I enjoyed tonight. I can’t wait until we get to do it again, my mate.”
“Me too,” I whispered. “Thank you for sharing your bonus with me. It was very nice of you.”
“My life only has another chance for real because of you,” he said gently. “There’s no one else that I’d rather share good with.”
I smiled, letting the kind words slide over me even if I was still trying to swallow my upset. I think he put enough together because he seemed shaky when we pulled into the parking garage.
“I wasn’t planning for us to have sex tonight, Aurora,” he whispered so quietly that I barely heard him. His voice was so vulnerable that it was like a knife in my heart.
“We need to progress, and the longer we wait the more you get hurt,” I countered. “I’m sorry that I’m ruining it and it’s not what the date should be.”
“I’m sorry that you don’t want me the way I want you,” he replied, his voice cracking.
“Shit, no, I said that—I didn’t mean it so…
That seemed passive-aggressive.” He let go of my hand, but I knew it was just because we were near my spot and he had to put the car in park.
He did and then turned to face me. “Am I doing something wrong?”
“No,” I rasped and covered my face. “No, of course not. I’m so sorry, Creed. I just don’t know what the right thing is—I want to want to. I swear I do.”
“Stop, please stop,” he begged, and then he was out of the vehicle and opening my door. I let him pull me out and hold me. “Please, don’t be scared of me—of us, Aurora. I won’t ever do anything you don’t like or want. I swear it.”
“We have to,” I argued.
His lips were soft on my cheek. “Then trust your mate that I will make sure you want to be with me. Trust that I can handle this if you cannot or don’t know what to do. Trust that I value you as much as you value me.”
I nodded, hearing the upset in that last part. He was worried I didn’t value him.
Because I didn’t want him.
“None of this is you,” I promised him. “You are a wonderful man. It’s me. I’m broken. I’m—”
“The woman I love,” he breathed. He cleared his throat when I froze and then looked up at him. “You are, Aurora. You’re the woman I love. I’m in love with you.”
It was so ridiculously sweet but also funny because he looked as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying and a bit like he might faint.
Oh dear, I was fairly sure I felt the same way about this man.
Which meant I’d at least healed enough to no longer be dead inside.
It also meant I would give this man all of me—every part even if it broke me.