Chapter 16
Creed
That so wasn’t the way to tell Aurora that I loved her, but… It just kind of came out. When I realized she was crying because she was hurting me by her past traumas overwhelming her—how could I not?
How could I not feel it?
How could I not tell her that she was loved?
But realizing I felt it and I’d been lying to myself when others had seen it hit me hard. I felt… Gobsmacked wasn’t strong enough.
I shook out of my spiraling thoughts when she made a noise. It wasn’t really a gasp or huff but not a chuckle either.
Whatever, it snapped me back.
I turned us so she was against the vehicle and cupped her face.
“I do. I love you. I’m in love with you, Aurora.
I know you’re not there yet and I accept it.
I accept all of you. As long as you say I’m not hurting you—unless you tell me to walk away, I’m in this.
I know you care for me and I will be patient with the rest. I can be. ”
I gave her a soft kiss so she didn’t have to worry about her reply. But then a miracle happened and she came in for a second kiss when I pulled away.
“Thank you, Creed,” she breathed. “I don’t deserve it, but I want to be selfish and accept your love. I will be the mate you need, I promise.”
I swallowed down how much her saying that hurt me. She was saying she would give her body to me even if she didn’t want to.
It’s her trauma. The doc warned you and don’t be an asshole. She needs help seeing the runway—the path to what is healthy and enjoyable.
But it was hard on me. I’d been through a lot too, and feeling like I was about to mate someone who didn’t want me after the childhood and life I’d had was beyond difficult.
“I do trust you,” she whispered. “Green light.”
I was going to take it because I knew—it was like the kissing. Once she knew it was pleasurable and safe with me, she loved kissing. I could tell and—I knew this would work.
I made sure she had her purse and then lifted her in my arms. She was too nervous and it was going to be awkward. I locked her vehicle that was basically mine now and brought her to the elevator.
She chuckled and leaned against my chest.
I let out a long breath as we waited for the elevator.
“I don’t want to push you. I swear this isn’t as selfish as it’s gotta seem to you.
It’s like the kissing and snuggles. I know—I know down to my soul that once you see how it should be—how it will be between us that you will want me the way I want you. ”
She flinched and I mentally cursed. “I’m sorry this hurts you so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I want you in my life forever, Creed. I do. I would choose no other but you.”
That was the soothing balm I needed right then to keep pushing forward to help her. I kissed her hair and stepped on the elevator.
We were both nervous as we rode up. I could sense it from her and it was… Of course I was nervous too.
Of course.
We chuckled when I set her on her feet and she let us in the condo. Her worry started again and I just pressed forward.
I locked the door behind her and gave her a soft kiss. “No sex. No—not even much more than we’ve done, Aurora. I just want to see my mate. I want to kiss—trust me. I will make you feel good like my kisses.”
She stared up at me with those light blue eyes that unraveled me and said the one thing that almost snapped me. “I want to want you the way you do me. I swear I do.”
Fuck, that was sexy but also… Heartbreaking. Of course it was heartbreaking. So much of her life was.
But it was my job to help her.
I brought us to the bedroom and then had her sit on the bed to her surprise. I knelt and took off her pretty shoes, bringing her foot up and kissing it. Her breath caught and my cock got hard.
Just that.
Just that sexy little fucking noise from her and I was hard.
Yeah, she really was my mate. There wasn’t any denying it anymore.
I smiled when she tried to smother a giggle, but it slipped out and she couldn’t hide her shock. I simply gave her a wink and kissed her other foot too.
And ankles.
“That’s all you want to do?” she asked, sounding disappointed when I stopped.
“To more of your body. All of your body if you’d let me.”
No. It was all over her face that was too much.
I nodded and sat on the bed next to her. I asked to kiss her neck and she angled it for me so I had full access.
Shit, she was too addictive for real.
I started to take off the sweater she was wearing over her dress, pausing so she could tell me either way.
She took in a deep breath and nodded. I could feel her nerves, but it wasn’t—it wasn’t that mind-numbing depression like I’d scented in the car. Like all hope was lost and that had seriously killed me.
I kissed more of her neck and all over her exposed shoulder. Then what skin I could of her back before moving to the other side of her.
I actually did smacking kisses down her arm like it was a cartoon for some comic relief and it worked. She laughed and swatted at me. But then she wasn’t laughing when I kissed the pads of each of her fingers.
“I swear it gets better,” I whispered gently. “The more I kiss, the more—well, that’s how it feels on my end.” I couldn’t hide my shock when something dark filled Aurora’s eyes.
Jealousy. She was jealous hearing about my past.
I was a complete asshole, but that gave me hope.
It really did. She didn’t want me to mate anyone else or to know about my past sexual experiences. That was someone who saw me as a man.
“It will be so much better with you,” I promised her. “I’ve never loved anyone before.”
Oh, she liked hearing that. Aurora might have been trained and beaten to be submissive, but she was a vampire, and there was always a dormant predator inside of her.
“Maybe we should find out if it’s better with me,” she mumbled before angling her neck and kissing mine.
Yeah, it was. I moaned, and when her fangs came out, running along my skin, I just about came in my pants like a goober.
“You can. Bite me, Aurora,” I whispered. “Take my blood, beauty.”
She flinched. “I love that you have a sweet name for me, but I realized I don’t want to have one for my looks when they’ve been…”
“A burden to you too,” I finished for her, glad when she nodded. “Your doc helped you realize that?” I was relieved when she admitted it, kissing along my neck. “You’re my rock, Aurora. You are my hero. You are so—amazing isn’t enough.”
She slowly pulled away and blinked her bug-wide eyes at me. “How can you—you are so much more impressive than I am.”
“Then we’re just both awesome and I’ll find a new endearment for you,” I promised before giving her another kiss. “Keep your undergarments on, but let me see the rest of you, Aurora. I’ll keep kissing your skin and you can mine as you want. That’s it.”
She frowned. “That’s it?”
“It’s not a race, my mate,” I answered.
“But it is because you’re—”
“I’m fine,” I said firmly. “This has been for years. Taking more time is—I won’t traumatize you to save my own ass when it’s not needed.” I mentally cursed because that was too harsh, but Aurora blushed.
Like blushed and I smelled interest.
“Umm, I would prefer not the overhead light,” she whispered after a moment.
“Of course.” I rolled out of bed and turned on the bedside lamps instead. I pulled off my sweater before reaching for the overhead light… Only to freeze when Aurora was looking over my upper body. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”
Her gaze immediately snapped up to my eyes and she flushed. “I apologize that—”
“Completely normal.” I moved over to her and cupped her face. “That is completely normal for a woman to do to her man, Aurora. It’s welcome. It’s what I hold onto right now that we can be together. You see me as a man now, not the friend you hope is gay and will just give you companionship.”
She covered her face with her hand. “Yes, my therapist explained to me how horrible my comment—question was. I’ve never apologized for that or—”
“Kiss me and all is forgiven,” I promised. I nodded when she sighed. I pursed my lips and she caved, giving me a longer kiss. “Thank you for staring at me. Thank you for giving me hope and healing my feelings so I can keep helping.”
“Thank you for being so patient with me,” she whispered. She held out her hand to me which was confusing, but then I pulled her to her feet. Aurora cleared her throat, and after a moment, turned away from me.
And reached for the zipper of her dress.
Damn. Like dayumn.
“Trust me?” I asked after quickly turning off the light.
“Yes, please,” she sighed. “I-I don’t think there’s a way for me not to be shaking and—yes, please.”
I kissed her shoulder and unzipped the dress, helping her out of it. I kissed her shoulders and back for a few minutes before I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Let me see you, Aurora.”
She let out a slow, shaky breath and turned to face me.
I was struck stupid. She was always beyond beautiful, but she hid her figure and body behind those mostly old-time clothes she wore. Even with what she was picking now, it wasn’t ever fitted or revealing. I bemoaned that a few times.
Now I didn’t. No, only I should get to know she looked like this.
I flinched when I realized I said that out loud.
“Of course only you would,” she huffed and swatted my chest… Which made her full breasts bounce.
Yeah, I was going to hell. For sure I was.
I kissed her. Nothing too much, but with a bit more heat than the soft ones I’d been giving her. We were both panting when I pulled away.
I told her what I’d been thinking and she shocked me by moving her hands over my chest.
“Thank you for treasuring me and never seeing me as something to show off, Creed,” she whispered, staring up at me with love.
Oh damn. Wow, okay, so that worked out better than I could have ever thought.
I kissed her deeper and moved my hands over her back, itching to touch her ass but not pushing her.
She pulled back and I got worried until I saw her eyes glazed over. “Green light.” Then she flinched. “I mean, not for—”