Chapter 20 #2
“You don’t want to hurt her,” Gerald corrected, snapping when Creed argued. “Stop. You don’t. You don’t want to break her fucking arm or hit her, Creed. You want rough sex—rough mating sex which even I know is like catnip to lions. Especially newly mated lions and clearly you didn’t know.”
“But that would hurt her.”
“Because of her past and the horrors she’s been through. That is different than saying you’re a psycho who wants to abuse your mate. It just is. I know you’re spinning out, but please hear me that you’re spinning out and there’s such a difference.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I whispered as I showed myself, biting back a smirk when they both jumped like kids being caught doing something wrong. “And it’s actually been hurting me that you didn’t care enough to discuss this with me, tell me what is going on.”
“That was my next point, but I’ll leave you both to it,” Gerald said, dipping his head to me and turning to leave. He paused and then spun back, taking a step to me but freezing when Creed snarled.
“Sorry,” Creed grumbled when we both gave him a look that it was a bit much.
Gerald’s lips twitched, but then he was serious as he focused on me. “Yes, lions like rough sex. I was unaware Creed didn’t realize this. Nor you. I’m very sorry for that. Alexis is furious at me and says I’m a moron for not making a point to let everyone know in this instance.”
I read between the lines. “But it’s not something you tell everyone because it hurts your community as sometimes lions are already characterized as brutes even to other shifters.”
Relief filled his eyes. “Yes. It’s not to hurt anyone. There is a different level of pleasure when you ride that line of pleasure and pain and it’s…” He trailed off when Creed snarled again. “Yeah, that one’s actually fair. Talk to Alexis if you want. I explained it better to her.”
“Thank you, and thank you for being a good friend to my mate,” I accepted graciously. “When he is better in his head, I will make sure to make you some meals and thank you properly.” I sighed when Creed snarled deeply.
“I’ll take the IOU, but it’s going to be a while,” Gerald chuckled before saying goodbye.
“I don’t like secrets,” I said quietly when the silence dragged on.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so out of my head and scared to think what I’m capable of—what I could do to you.”
I nodded, understanding that was fair. “Can I talk to your lion for a bit? You don’t have to shift, but I need him to understand this is a conversation for him and me.”
“Alright,” he hedged.
I let out a slow breath and moved over to Creed, reaching up and cupping his cheek.
“I love you as much as the man, my furry cat. You are amazing and I know you have been through too much.” I waited until he nodded.
“I need you to be more patient with Creed. None of this was his fault. He’s on your team. ”
Again, I got another nod and he nuzzled my hand.
“You are one of instincts and needs, but those don’t always work for us as people.
You won’t understand the depths of how I was hurt, so I will do my best to be good to you, but you have to help us now.
You have to protect me in ways you won’t understand and you have to trust Creed on things.
I’m more than understanding for you too. I have been.”
“He agrees, but he’s tired of constantly being told no after being held back for so long,” Creed grumbled, sounding at the end of his rope.
“Fine, but I don’t reward bad behavior, so he also needs to start appreciating how spoiled he is too. I’ve heard other shifters grumble that they wish they had someone to cater to their animals the way I do and some of them are mated,” I reminded him.
Creed flinched. “That helped. He doesn’t know that. We haven’t seen or heard about many healthy matings.” Relief was thick in his eyes. He knew what to do now or how to get help.
“Good.” I took his hand in mine and sucked up my nerves, leading him to the bedroom.
“Aurora, we don’t have to do this,” he whispered.
“Stuff it. Your way wasn’t working,” I reminded him. I undressed fully and leaned against the wall. I knew to him it might seem seductive, but really it was to keep me standing when I was scared and wanted to flee.
Or maybe not that bad, but this wasn’t my forte.
“Come touch your mate, but be gentle,” I whispered, my voice shaky.
Creed’s lion was in his eyes as he stalked towards me. He was naked in a flash and the moment he was, I grabbed his dick. It shocked him and he froze.
“I can handle this much,” I promised him as I moved my hand faster.
“It’s so much better when you do it,” he purred and leaned in, kissing along my neck.
“Mark your stomach, Aurora. You don’t smell enough like us.
You have to smell like us or I fucking lose my mind.
Can I touch you? I need to touch your fucking breasts.
I want to make you wet. I want to do everything to you and your pretty pussy. ”
I nodded and couldn’t get over how ridiculously vocal he was being. He wasn’t a quiet one, but this was well over what I was used to. He told me everything he liked about my body but mostly how it made him feel when I reacted positively to him. When I made noises, I didn’t even realize that I did.
And apparently, he wanted a lot more of them, begging me to never hide from him and he couldn’t wait until I would enjoy it all.
He finished on me, but once wasn’t enough. He wanted more.
Still, I wasn’t going to fall into… Well, it wasn’t past mistakes. None of what I was forced into was my fault.
This time was my choice.
“Acknowledge you’re being greedy,” I told Creed, but more his lion. “Your mate submitted to you and gave you what you needed and you demand more. You’re greedy.”
“We’ve suffered,” he growled, sounding a bit more animal than man.
“Yes, yes, you have, but I didn’t do it,” I reminded him. “You want me to pay penance for the crimes of others. You want Creed to and we did nothing. So do not demand this level from your mate and acknowledge you’re greedy.”
He let out a long, slow breath. “You don’t want us like we want you and it’s confusing and painful. A lion doesn’t get it like I do and he’s just been released but still feels like he’s constantly being held back.”
“That’s life,” I told his lion. “And it all takes work. I feel the same. Constantly. I feel it constantly.” I let go of him and blinked back tears.
“Please, don’t flee,” Creed begged me. “He hears you. He believes you. We’ll try better, babe. We’ll really try better. I just—like I can’t focus and all—you’re the answer and all I want.”
He moved his hands to the wall instead of pressuring me or making me feel like we had to keep going, but it was clearly to keep me there. I could have ducked under his arms and moved. I knew that.
He was asking me to stay and fight through this with him.
So I did. I let him kiss my neck and I took care of him again so he finished on my thighs which apparently were too slim?
I thought that was what men liked?
“Not enough. Mate has to make noises,” he growled and suddenly I was in his arms and we were moving.
I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then I was on the bed and he was kneeling at the edge of it between my spread legs. So much for being in charge of the situation and taking matters into my hands.
But I found myself unable to complain.
Not then or the dozens of times it happened after. For the next several days, each time I tried to help Creed and take the edge off I ended up on my back with him pleasing me.
Yes, I realized the lion was training me more than I was getting him in line. I wasn’t a complete idiot.
But it also showed me that he did have himself mostly under control. Enough to trust him with more. I thought about what Alexis and my therapist had suggested and finally gave in to curiosity.
Shock rocked Creed, but he immediately agreed, promising his lion would behave and not take over. Which was how we had sex with me on top for the first time.
And while it was still overwhelming and not what people told me about sex… I liked it. I liked the way his eyes ate me up but he gave me control. I liked how I could move to take control if things were too much pressure or too fast given his size.
The predator in me that I didn’t even know I had really liked it when he offered me his neck. Creed and his lion purred for me when they were able to provide me blood now that we were mated. I fed him tons of barely cooked meat and they could give me what I needed nutritionally.
It was some weird symbiotic relationship.
Actually, it sounded healthy not weird.
No, not weird at all, and it was time to change how I viewed a lot so I could heal.