Chapter 21
Creed
I had thought I was going to die when my lion was unbound. It was days of incomparable pain and agony. But Aurora was there through it all. I wouldn’t have survived it without her.
I wouldn’t have made it through any of this without her.
So when my lion immediately wanted to fuck her in ways that would hurt her mentally, emotionally, and even physically since she wasn’t ready for it… Yeah, I lost it and that made everything worse.
Aurora saved the day there too. Of course she did. It was what she did best even if she had no faith in herself.
And I was once again ruining my relationship with her. Weeks after and I was still all over her with my jealousy and bullshit. Any man around her and I wanted to shred them. If she remotely smelled like one, I was a rat bastard to her.
I wanted to stop. I wanted to swallow it down and hated myself for how I was treating her. I truly did, but it was like it just came out before I realized it. I had absolutely no impulse control with my lion. He just… Fucker.
He felt bad after, but so did a lot of abusive assholes. And I was clear I felt that about him and he was going to cost us our mate.
He practically huffed at me and was confident he could handle it. Yeah, fine, I let him take over and we sniffed out Aurora. My heart broke when I heard her crying.
She flinched when she sensed us. “Go away, Creed. I cannot deal with you right now.” She even turned away from the door and towards the window, looking too small in the chair she was in.
But my lion didn’t listen, going right for her and plopping down in her view to try and be cute.
I flinched when she glanced up and there was a new look in her eyes I’d never seen before. Not just upset or anger. No this was something so much worse.
And I’d never seen it pointed in my direction before. It confused my lion, but I fully understood it.
Regret. She regrets us, you fucking asshole.
“I asked you to leave me alone!” Aurora yelled, jumping up so fast that the chair fell over. “I want my Creed back! Not this asshole who doesn’t listen to me and does whatever he wants—accuses me of things I haven’t done and makes me feel like I’m married to Kenneth again!”
I wasn’t sure there was anything she could have said to hurt me worse, but she wasn’t being unfair. She cried harder and hurried from the room.
You have to stop. You have to stop being a jealous animal because I’ll pick her over you. I’ll ask Monroe to rebind you or—I won’t survive without her and she’s done nothing. If you won’t stop abusing our mate, I’ll figure out a way or kill us both.
And my lion believed me.
Good because I wasn’t bluffing. I could fuck up in a lot of ways—and absolutely would—but I could not make Aurora feel like she was trapped back in that “marriage.” I just couldn’t.
My lion sat with it a bit, and after he realized she was still crying and the pain was real, he finally seemed to get it was truly him.
Yeah, idiot. This time was—she’d been out and about picking up awesome meat for us and some tonics from Monroe and my lion lost his mind that she smelled like a bunch of different men.
Yeah, that was what happened when someone went out shopping and to a specialized butcher. Fucking asshole.
I wasn’t sure what to do, but then I called the one male guard I knew Aurora wanted to basically adopt. He was some cub who had had a rough go and honestly I felt bad for him as well.
I told my lion we needed to start dealing with this and fast. She deserved that much from us. He seemed to accept it and luckily the guy was available.
The shitty look he shot me wasn’t appreciated, but he was a vampire, so he really didn’t get it. I sat in the kitchen for hours while they did whatever and my lion basically swatted his tail inside of me.
“Have a nice night,” the guy said as he headed out, shooting a worried glance over his shoulder.
I thanked him for coming but was too scared to do anything. It was another ten minutes before Aurora appeared… Freshly showered.
“I’m so sorry, my mate,” I choked out, understanding she’d showered so she smelled less like another man.
I sank to my knees and lowered my head in shame.
“I swear that I know. I know it’s—he doesn’t get it, and I don’t have control anymore to shut him up fast enough.
I know you would never cheat. I know you would never—”
“I want to believe you, but I need to see change this time,” she whispered, her voice raw from all the crying and maybe talking to the guy.
“I saw your effort tonight. I need to see more of it.” She turned towards the fridge and sniffled.
“I wish I could be stronger for you and not so affected, but this has always been a huge point of contention in my life.
“I’ve constantly been accused of flirting with men or bespelling them.
I never have. I am not a flirty woman. I’m not a lustful woman.
Only you. You are the only man I’ve made any sort of advance on because you made me feel whole and seen.
I need that man back or I don’t know that I can make it through this.
My therapist says I’m backsliding. Please don’t make me. ”
I cried when she was gone. She was completely right and the way I’d been treating her was beyond unfair.
I didn’t even try to go into our room or bed that night, simply sitting outside the door in the hallway so she knew I was near. It seemed a bit stalkerish, but… I wanted her to know I wasn’t leaving and would give her the space she wanted.
Both at the same time?
I woke with a pillow behind my head against the wall and a blanket over me. I whispered a thank-you to her and curled up on the floor.
It was where the damn animals belonged after all.
The next morning, she offered to still come with me to my follow-up appointment at ASH… But she didn’t want to. She was struggling with regret and our mating.
Struggling too much and it was completely my fault.
My fucking lion’s fault.
We were quiet the drive over and I wanted to drop her off, but my lion didn’t want her that far away from me in a new place. That gave me pause.
“I think I’m understanding better and know how to bring up what’s going on with me to Ha-joon,” I whispered, shocked down to my core.
“Pardon?” she asked, looking up from her phone and whatever list she was working on.
“I’m not making excuses,” I said firmly, waiting until she nodded. “My lion doesn’t want me to drop you off at the door and let me go park because I won’t be by you somewhere new.”
She frowned. “That doesn’t make sense when you worked here and…” She blinked at me. “Do you think your lion didn’t see or sense as much while bound?”
“It makes sense kind of,” I hedged. “Monroe talked about a lot being like looking through water for him, right? The magic acted as a barrier between us. He really might not understand more than I realized.”
Hope filled her eyes but then died as she looked away like she couldn’t risk disappointment again. “I’d prefer to just park and walk together. I could always use the exercise now.”
I felt very, very small. “How are you adjusting to the magic? Do you feel any different?”
The hurt look she shot me like I was dense for now only thinking to ask was… Valid. I was a mess and way too selfish with her.
“I feel strange a lot,” she admitted after I found a spot in the parking garage. “I’ve heard that can be the mating bond between a different species, but also I’m still recovering from so much physical neglect. I feel…”
“Feel it more?” I checked.
“Yes, and the drive to fix it,” she said quietly as she got out.
Which was good. So why was she sad?
Because we’re ruining that progress and making her backslide. This is our fault.
“Can I hold your hand?” I asked quietly as I met up with her.
She extended it to me but then frowned as she glanced at her phone. “Ha-joon has been trying to reach you?”
I pressed my lips together but then swore, patting my pockets. “I’m so fucking all over. I have no idea where my phone even is. Gods, I need to like get it together, but it’s like my brain and my lion’s just…”
“We’ll figure this out,” she comforted when she realized this was maybe deeper than she realized. Or just because Aurora was amazing and I really didn’t deserve her.
It turned out that Ha-joon wanted to check me out in lion form first with a few other shifter doctors since I was a miracle. I sighed, but Aurora gave me a look that melted me.
“I cannot say no to you,” I mumbled as I started undressing behind the SUV.
“Me? What do I have to do with this?” she asked.
Except I didn’t know how to answer without sounding like an asshole.
“Your mate is not one to be so accommodating and lions certainly aren’t, ma’am,” one of her security who apparently pitied me explained. “This will help ASH and your—Ms. Reed. That is why Creed allows all of this crazy around him and his medical anything. For you to be happy.”
“Is this true?” Aurora asked, her tone confused.
“Yes,” I answered immediately. “Even if you’re validly upset with your daughters, you love them and want them to succeed.
For Ellie, that’s ASH.” I cleared my throat and handed my clothes to her when I saw she’d come around the SUV.
“I know I mess up a lot, but I would do anything to make you happy, Aurora. I promise I’ll get my shit together for you. ”
I shifted before I said anything stupid and my lion was hesitant going near her.
She gasped when she realized what he was doing. He wasn’t being assuming or demanding. He was… Not being an asshole.
So basic politeness, but it was a start.
“We need to be the team, my mate,” she whispered as she gave my ear a quick scratch. But that was it.
And he was ridiculously sad that was it. However, he accepted finally it was his fault.