Chapter 26
S?las returns me to my room in silence. As I open the door to my room, I turn around to say goodnight, but he’s already gone.
My heart slams against black ice, shredding herself in the glacial thorns of her new cage, pleading with me to change my mind, to run back to him. To take a chance, throwing caution to wind, giving in to my feelings and exploring what we could be.
I shut the door, gently resting my forehead and my palms against it, wishing he was still on the other side, like every other night. Wishing I could step out and say I will try…for him. Giving my fear a middle finger and letting myself dream of something more for myself.
But I’m no dreamer. I know better than happy endings for myself. Perhaps that’s exactly why I’m unable to escape those haunting words from the Ethereal Maze of Whispers.
When you spend every day of your life surviving, you forget how to dream, how to hope, how to find the light in the darkness.
In all honesty, even if I did want to try, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
This isn’t like all the other skills I’ve honed my body to know with diligent practice.
What he’s asking of me is uncharted territory.
The thought of giving my heart to him consumes me with more fear than any monster ever could.
Things are simple with monsters: I either live or die.
But with him, it would be pure chaos of the unknown, of emotions, of vulnerability. Celestials, what we already share is overwhelming enough; I can’t imagine letting it grow into something precious. The potential loss is too great a risk, especially with the life we’ve set out to live.
It’s tragic that I’d rather walk hand in hand with death herself than give myself completely to him. I know, deep down, that life has broken me beyond what anyone’s love can ever heal. Beyond what I could ever curse someone to try to love.
I fall onto my bed, mapping the purple veining of the Mysticwood walls with my finger.
It’s for the best that I don’t even try to give him what he’s asking for.
At least, that’s what I manage to convince myself.
I need to stay focused on things I can actually achieve, like becoming an Ellian Knight.
I’m so close I can taste it, especially now that my Celestial Gift is fully manifested.
My golden mental shields rise, appearing slightly dimmer tonight. I turn off my emotions, shutting the mosaic window so hard it cracks, dissociating from all that has happened in the last few hours.
An icy calm freezing around my bleeding heart, silencing her pleas. I start to drift off to sleep’s embrace.
Knock. Knock.
I jolt up, wiping my weary eyes from the fading lull of just falling to sleep.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I stumble to answer the door, realizing I haven’t even taken off my cloak.
“Ready for a morning jog and some combat practice? I learned a new move you’re sha-surely going to enjoy!” Flint’s emerald green irises beam with enthusiasm.
“Of course I am. Today is the last day we have before the Celestial Bonding.” A familiar mask drapes over my face, pulling my lips up in a weary smile, casting the real me in shadows too dark to see through.
“I have no doubt that the strongest creature will bond you. My coin is on a dragon.” He tosses me a big reassuring smile.
I elbow him in the side. “I hope you didn’t place too much silver on that bet. Even if I don’t bond, at least I’ll be joining you as Ground-Combatant.”
“Don’t sa-say that. Zenith Wing can’t lose you. Plus, it ruins the fun if I get to kick your ass every day during Ground-Combatant training classes.”
“Rude!” I scowl before we both break out into laughter.
We walk down the spiral steps out into the courtyard for our warm-up jog before going down to the Combat Arena for sparring.
I make it back just in time to shower before I race to the Grand Conservatory with Juniper and Fenwick.
They swirl with so much light and happiness, I wish I could soak it up into my soul, but I know that’s not what’s waiting for me outside the mosaic window in my mind.
I can feel Pip’s stomach growling along my arm.
We grab our breakfast to go with some extra for him as we meet up with the rest of our Zenith.
Before our first class starts, Orion’s candy-red eyes keep darting between me and S?las.
He’s against the wall talking with Seraph, his back towards me. He turns to head to class and won’t even look at me. I don’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t want to look at him either. I honestly don’t even know how he has the strength to be in the same room as me.
Our normal afternoon division classes were switched to the morning today to allow an extended session of Combat Magic this afternoon.
Professor Yuri Smeltfire steps out onto the dais of the small circular room as rays of colorful light dapple the room from the stained-glass windows. Today, his chestnut brown hair is tied back into a neat bun at his nape. He adjusts his spectacles as he begins.
“Welcome to your last class of Magical Creatures of the Realm as it’s now focused on beasts you have the potential to bond with.
After the Celestial Bonding, we will change our focus to different animals with different magical properties that, with their consent, can be used to enhance certain magical properties for battle.
Our last class today will focus on reading the signs of different animals that you might approach tomorrow. ”
Kissa lowers her head down to me and whispers, “I bet Cinder will find a creature brooding up against a hill somewhere. It’ll be love at first sight.”
I feign a snicker, the response she’ll be expecting. I wonder what fierce creature will seek Kissa out with her ability to Beastshift.
“Remember: listen to your gut. Be open to their connection. The right one will sing to you like a siren song, leading you to it. I warn against approaching animals you feel no connection to. Trying to force a link will lead to a fate worse than being unbonded. Also, it’s highly recommended not to fight among yourselves during the event.
The temperamental creatures will not waste their time on the squabbles of Cascarans fighting one another.
They’re sacrificing themselves to help our warriors for the good of the realm. Do not squander their time.”
It’s more than just the good of the realm.
The largest grove of Mysticwoods is south of campus.
It’s where most creatures go for their young to be born.
The sacred nesting grounds. It’s at the farthest point away from any snaking paths of Blackwood expansion.
We have an entire command of Wings stationed at campus, plus a slew of infantry to protect everyone here and the Mysticwoods besides us.
If attacked, our priorities are to get the Faelings out and protect the sacred grove of Mysticwoods at all costs.
There’s a question burning like molten ore on the back of my tongue.
I want to know about the dragon from my dream, the one I saw fly over Estrella when I was young.
We’ve never covered it in our class about the different breeds of dragons.
I assume because they’re not known to have ever taken a rider.
Maybe I’m a fool to ask, but curiosity claws the question from my maw.
“Professor Smeltfire, have you ever seen a white dragon with four feathered wings that seems to be attracted to lightning?”
“Please call me Professor Yuri. A rare creature indeed!” He presses a finger covered in Runic Tech to his head, and the metal box at the center of the room depicts an illusion of the dragon from my dreams, but slightly different than I remember it.
“Moonstorm dragons are an extremely rare form of Lunaria dragons, believed to be hatched from the chaos of moonbeams trapped in the lightning of full-moon storms. They have the unique ability to wield blue fire and lightning from their mouths. Their scales are actually translucent and can blend into the colors surrounding them. Their nests are believed to rest in the clouds themselves. There are very few in existence today, if any at all. Their blood is ancient and said to be born from the Celestial Dragon’s tears as they wept lying down for the infinite slumber at the loss of their Celestial rider.
They bear a unique biologic metal along their back ridges that allows them to conduct lightning, storing its energy for later use.
Over time, the tips of their wings evolved feathers to sustain longer flight and faster speeds.
Ensign Savaé, you hail from the remote village of Estrella, correct? ”
“Correct.” I nod. Does he know where all his students come from?
“You are likely one of the few of us to have ever had a chance to see one. The steep cliffs of Eldoria, the tallest peaks in Cascara, are rumored to be their breeding ground. Alas, this species of dragon has never shown for a Celestial Bonding event; it’s only been known to eat any who approach it.
They are very aloof creatures, thankfully.
Some ancient texts said they have the ability to shoot spikes of ice from their tails.
I pray to the Celestials none of you ever find out if that’s true. ”
He continues on about several other dragons, including a Mountain Laurel Draco, with its green body and poisonous vines that whip out from its legs.
It has a frill that, when agitated, forms deadly flower petals around its neck.
The end of its tail is covered in small jimson weed pods, which can induce you with the intoxication of belladonna, causing temporary loss of vision.