Chapter 53
Professor Reska’s amplified instructions shout across the wind. “Everyone, return to campus immediately, and head for your rooms.”
“We should stay and help!” I raise my voice along our shared tether.
“Absolutely not. Your Zenith is not ready. Don’t be foolish just because you can control your magic,” Calais snaps.
“She is right. They have well-trained Ellian Knights already on their way. We will just be a distraction and be in the way,” Scáil remarks.
I think about turning into mist and finding out for myself, but terror rips down the bond from S?las, reminding me it would be selfish of me to put both our lives in jeopardy because I’m feeling chaotic.
We land in the field, the magic creatures quickly taking off again. It’s not safe on the ground, and we need to get inside the wards of campus.
I hear a bone-cracking scream from the eastern edge of the field. My head whips, body spinning towards its direction; before I can see anything, S?las and Kissa are grabbing both my arms and dragging me to campus.
“You should be running from that sound, not pausing to look!” Kissa hisses in my ear.
“We should be helping, not hiding behind the wards,” I snarl back without thinking.
“They’re already pushing us through our training faster than ever before. I’m afraid you’ll get your wish sooner than you think.” Atlas’ voice has a slight rattle to it. His rare display of emotion catches me off guard. If he’s afraid, I should be too. But for some reason, I’m not.
I shake my head. We are trained to fight, not to hide.
Atlas gently puts his hand on my arm; the powdery softness of his moth-like touch pulls me from my thoughts as I peer into his maroon eyes, framed by iridescent wings.
“Did you ever stop to think that what they’re searching for could be you? The stronger your magic becomes, the closer the attacks have been. If the Fates have deemed you a powerful piece in the games they play, they may want to claim you for themselves in whatever battle is coming.”
The air whooshes from my lungs, my blood freezing to ice.
I suddenly understand why he was so nervous when he heard of the attack that night I had unleashed my Chaos Magic like never before.
Calais and Scáil weren’t protecting us from my magic; they were shielding it, so others wouldn’t sense it.
Then my thoughts whip to the time S?las left to talk to Atlas, when he asked him to stay with me.
S?las fucking knew, and so did our dragons!
“Was that what you meant the day we met in the woods, when you said you weren’t the only one looking for me?” I snap at Calais.
“Exactly. Now please, stay safe. Your magic has been calling them. You have become more powerful faster than I expected, now that the bond has manifested. They are here for you, but you are not ready.”
“What do you mean I’m not ready?” I scowl, my blood radiating as hot as the sun.
“You need to get her to calm down,” Calais barks along our tether.
S?las obeys, pulling me into his arms, but he winces at the heat seeping off me.
“You fucking knew, too! That’s why Atlas asked you to stay with me!” I snarl, fighting and kicking to get away from S?las.
“Yes. I knew. It’s our job to protect you. All of us.” S?las’ voice is calm, refusing to release me from his hold.
“I don’t need your protection or anyone else’s. You are not my keeper,” I growl as I continue to struggle. My body is so scorching hot, I can feel the pain S?las is enduring to hold onto me.
“You do not need a keeper, but we are still members of a team. Atlas asked me not to share this with you until he was certain. He didn’t want to cause you unnecessary worry.”
Them taking away my own choice in the matter sends lighting crackling in the sky all around us. I am livid.
How do they expect me to trust them if they fucking keep things from me?
S?las’ regret and apology pour down the bond, but it does nothing to soothe the boiling cataclysm of my blood.
“We need to get her into the Warded Hollow, now,” Kivi hums, as if she’s simply talking about the weather and not acting like I’m a ticking time bomb.
Shadows try to wrap around us, sizzling against my skin.
S?las twists me around in his arms so I’m facing him. Lifting my chin to meet his shadowy gaze.
“I can’t Shadowwalk you when you’re like this. Can you walk for me?” He gives me a knowing look. “And I mean walk, not run into danger because you’re angry and need to punch something.”
I nod as my Zenith surrounds me, and S?las guides me towards the center of the courtyard.
I’m so hot, my vision clouds. My mind minces, wondering: why? Why would they want me? Why could he suddenly not Shadowwalk me? Why am I burning alive, causing my mate pain when he touches me? I know everyone around me is trying to keep me safe, but it’s suffocating.
I was finally letting go of all my fear and enjoying life. The thought of being hunted is like my happiness being stolen from me.
I want to make them pay for thinking they can take me, take my magic, take my joy. With each step, the ground trembles beneath my feet.
“Luxsula, please. I need you to focus on the sound of my voice.” S?las’ voice trembles with fear. “You’re almost there. Just a few more steps, and you can let go.” He pushes me gently, urging me to walk faster.
I can no longer see when I hear the door shut behind us.
“Fenwick, Gearin, and I will protect the Zenith with shields. Let your magic free before you burn up,” S?las says as the distance grows between us.
I walk a few steps away from where I imagine everyone else is. It doesn’t make sense; using magic is what causes us to burn up, not the opposite way around.
Yet I smell the scent of charred flesh, the bonds of my own skin like the bars of a cage from which I need to be set free. The magic of Warded Hollow senses my power bubbling over and surrounds me in a pink shield.
I let go.
The pink bubble bursts into nothingness as if it was never there. I materialize into mist. Then fire, then snow, then lightning.
Nothing feels right.
Nothing seems to ease the endless heat inside me. I whip around the Warded Hollow, each element I turn into smacking against the walls, longing to be free.
Sand, wind, rain, ash.
What am I?
Nothing feels right anymore. I’m not like anyone here, and I guess I never really was.
I need to be… free. To be in the heavens above.
I stand in the center of the room, feeling my flesh melt as I gaze upwards, wailing in agony.
The heat finally freeing me from my corporeal form.
Suddenly, I shift into pure starlight, pulling elements from around me to surround myself in a cloud of purple and blue matter. Stardust.
Then smoke swirls around me. No. Not smoke. Shadows.
But they’re shimmering white.
I twirl them between my fingers as I interlace them with the clouds of dust floating around me. My body forming and unforming, all at once. Then searing pain roars down the bond, thrusting me back to reality as I frantically search for S?las.
He’s on his knees, breathing hard at the very edge of the golden shield Fenwick is still holding up, reinforced by Gearin’s glyphs.
S?las’ shadows are nowhere in sight. He feels so weak down the bond, as if he’s vanishing.
Everyone gapes at me, eyes wide in terror. Except Atlas, who inspects me with profound curiosity and awe.
Kivi bends down. I can feel her trying to heal S?las. But from what?
“From you. You channeled his powers without fully accepting the bond. You’re killing him.” Scáil’s voice is calm despite the horror of his words, which instantly dissipates the magic in my hands.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
“I know.” A familiar, smoky voice strains to whisper, coming out more like a whimper.
I try to reach him, but everyone surrounds S?las, shielding him like I’m the threat. I see Atlas’ lips move, but I can’t hear what he’s saying. In response, Fenwick’s golden shield lowers.
I sprint to S?las, lifting his head to look at me. His raven waves tumbling from his face, but he’s pale, his breathing uneven.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I whisper as I kiss his clammy skin.
“You just couldn’t get enough of shadows, could you? Stealing my heart wasn’t enough.” A smirk tries to tug at the corner of his mouth, but he’s too weak, even for that.
I pull him into my arms. He has never felt fragile to me, but in this moment, I’m afraid of how easily I can break him.
“What the fuck are you?” Seraph’s fists clench at her sides as she glares daggers at me.
“I don’t know.”