Chapter 54
Arguing erupts all around us. All I care about is taking care of my mate. It doesn’t matter what I am; all that matters is him.
S?las.
I need him safe, where he can rest. Clouds of stardust wrap around us, everyone else lurching back from the blinding iridescent light.
When my eyes open, we’re in the center of our bed. I don’t know how the fuck I just did that, but I’m happy to be free to rest S?las’ head on the pillow. I grab a cold rag to wipe the sweat from his brow.
Whatever I’ve done to him, he looks worse than his nightmares.
Pip scurries down and nuzzles his face. He’s worried, too.
S?las starts to shake, his skin becoming ice. There’s a pounding on the door, but I’m not leaving him, even for one more second.
If I can pull magic from him, it has to work both ways, right?
I let my Chaos Magic dissolve his shirt, freeing his bare chest. I place my hands over his heart and pour my light into his chest. I spill what I imagine is my love for him into his soul, giving him all the brightness he brings to my world.
“What’s she doing to him now!? Get her off him before she fucking kills him and herself!” Seraph yells in panic at seeing her best friend withering away before her very eyes.
“She’s trying to channel her magic into him. We should mind our distance, in case his shadows reject her light,” Kivi hums as her voice grows farther away.
I know in my heart his shadows won’t reject me. They’re a part of me, too.
Just in case, I send my darkness to mingle with his, dancing with it, captivating it, entrancing it. His body trembles beneath me, but I keep pushing, praying he will let me in.
I shut my eyes, searching for his black velvet ribbons in my mind. They’re in the distance, out the starry, stained-glass window.
I let my starlight reach out to them, twisting and turning into shadows as he consumes it.
My teeth grit against the pain searing through me as he takes more and more.
Lashes popping open to see dark light radiating off him.
His eyes pure white, dark circles spinning within them.
His breathing steadies, his umber skin appearing warm once more.
I pull my hands away, and he gasps for air, grabbing my hands, something dark inside him craving more with no intent on stopping. An evil, powerful voice wraps around my mind, fracturing my mental shields.
“I will destroy you and everything you hold dear.”
I slap S?las’ hands away, and his eyes clear. Terror paints his face, realizing what he’s done, as if it wasn’t him who tried to take more power from me. The sensation leaves an unsettling feeling gnawing at my stomach.
S?las sits up, wrapping his strong arms around me. I hadn’t even realized I’m straddling him. But I don’t care; I’m just so happy to have him back. Tears pool in my eyes, comprehending how badly I could’ve hurt him without even trying.
He leans back, grasping my hair in his hands to look me in the eyes before catching a glimpse of the black light radiating off him. He smiles, really smiles. The light looks like my starlight but with rays of twinkling, dark rainbows.
“Now you’re not the only one beaming, hmm?” he purrs.
A laugh bubbles up. He nearly dies, and it doesn’t stop him from endlessly flirting and trying to make me smile.
“Is anyone going to explain what the fuck just happened?” Kissa hisses.
“I don’t know that anyone can,” Gearin speculates with a thoughtful but disappointed sigh. I doubt he likes the thought of a puzzle he and Atlas can’t figure out.
Then we all look at Atlas, expectantly. To our surprise, he shrugs.
“I read about our Celestial living a mortal life in our realm. I thought perhaps you were her descendent when you manifested such strong magic, although the chaos of destruction was not known to be one of their powers. The powers you displayed tonight are far more than anyone would expect from a demi-Celestial diluted by several generations. I am not sure what you are, but I see why you are coveted by our enemy. We must protect you at all costs.” Atlas’ tone is resolute.
“I need to get fucking sloshed to erase the look of S?las dying from my mind if I’m going to help you guys protect her after what she did to him today.” Seraph turns to the door, clenching her fists.
“Seraph, she didn’t know, and she feels guilty enough. Don’t you dare make her feel worse,” S?las tries to say cooly, but I can tell he’s angry that her words gutted me.
Atlas steps into the center of the room, poised to lay out orders.
“No, Seraphina, I need you to figure out if the threat has been handled. Change into someone important, and do what you do best. Eko, I want you scouting the perimeter; make sure it’s safe and no one snuck past the wards.
Highin, I want you on the roof with Cinder looking for anyone in the distance.
Gearin, Fenwick, and I will work on warding your room.
Juniper, Orion, Vex: I want you three to get food.
Flint, stand guard at the door until the wards are finished.
Kivi, please check Savaé and S?las over to ensure they are both okay,” Atlas commands, snapping into his role as leader.
Everyone quickly gets to work. It's silly, sitting next to S?las in bed, doing nothing other than letting Kivi’s spores tickle me.
“Your bond feels different, stronger. Did you accept it?” Kivi hums with eyes shut, waving her hands around us, but with her question, I see one of her eyes peek slightly open to peer at me for my response.
“No,” I grind out. “If I had, I wouldn’t have nearly killed S?las channeling his shadows.”
She seems disappointed in me, as if I should have accepted it immediately after to ensure this won’t happen again, but goes back to humming with her eyes closed.
S?las curls his arm around me. I’m annoyed he’s selflessly trying to comfort me after what I did to him.
“You saved me, too. Twice in one day. Give yourself some credit.” He lifts my gaze to his.
“I put you in danger twice. If I wasn’t a part of your life, neither time would have happened.” My brows pinch with anger, lashing it at myself.
“Don’t think like that. I’d rather die being your mate than not have you in my life,” he whispers with a kiss on my cheek. I’m too angry at myself to enjoy him.
“Stop that. Don’t you dare think about pushing me away because you lost control tonight.
I told you to let go. When I felt you pulling on my powers, I could have stopped you, but you finally looked so at peace.
You turned into pure starlight. I’ve never seen anything like it.
I’m finding it harder and harder to deny you anything.
Plus, I did promise you all of me.” He smirks.
I smile at his ridiculous comment. “I suppose you have more of me now, too.” I run my finger through the black rainbow rays beaming from him.
He tilts my chin back up towards him. “I’m still waiting for all of you.” He moves closer to kiss me, but Kivi clears her throat, reminding us she’s still there.
Blood rushes to my cheeks as she glares at us like two younglings being caught in a salacious act.
“S?las’ power is restored, and then some.
As for your power, it appears you barely tapped into your reserves tonight.
Which suggests Atlas’ claim has merit. Just a fraction of what you demonstrated would have drained the rest of us.
Now I understand why you survived wounds you shouldn’t have.
I believe you are not mortal,” Kivi hums with a flat tone.
I’ll never get over how she can say world-altering things as though they’re nothing. I’m lightheaded taking in her words.
“How can I not be mortal if Atlas believes my mother was?” I ask hesitantly.
“I suppose that answer lies with who sired you, your father,” Kivi hums with a gentle peace about her.
This is too much. I’ve never really thought of my parents, and I don’t care to now, no matter who or what they were.
They abandoned me. They don’t deserve anything from me.
So, I ask a more important question, about the one person in the world who does truly love me.
Who stays hopelessly in love with me, even after I almost accidentally killed him.
“Does that mean I can live if S?las dies?” I shudder at the thought. I don’t like the idea of having to spend eternity without him. That’d be an awfully cruel punishment, to have a Fated mate between a mortal and an immortal.
I hold my breath in the pause before Kivi answers.
“I am not sure S?las is entirely mortal, either.” Kivi’s words fill my lungs with air once more before she continues, “According to the conversation I had with Highin, after we left last night, you should have killed him channeling his magic without accepting the bond. Even a partially accepted bond should not have made a difference. Your souls need to be one to pull from one another. He’s not nearly as strong as you are, but appears to have something else running through his blood that is not just Elarian.
It appears to be blunted, though, like it’s…
trapped, deep within him. Your unique bloodlines, whatever they may be, are no doubt why the Fates blessed you.
You both appear to be otherworldly. Linked in a game beyond our realm. I must go discuss this with Atlas.”
Kivi bows and heads to the balcony, where Atlas is working with Gearin and Fenwick.
This is too much. Fear curdles in my chest, latching its way up my ribs, threatening to pull me under. I don’t know what I am, and I’m possibly not even from this world now.
Great.
I’m ready for this day to end. I want to go back to this morning when the biggest upset of my day was the aching between my legs. I let out an exasperated sigh.
“I’m happy to indulge that thought once everyone is gone,” a smoky voice purrs along my mind.
“How can you think of that when she just told you that you are not entirely mortal either?”
“I didn’t know my birth parents, and neither did you. It doesn’t change anything. I’m just happy to be alive. I’m not going to let something I can do nothing about ruin my day. Are you?”
“I hate it when you're right.” I smirk.
“You secretly love it. Except this morning. You really did hate it, then.” A devilish grin pulls at his lips.
The door bursts open as Orion, Juniper, and Vex carry in food, setting it on the table. Seraphina and Flint arrive next.
“The Wuvon attack was handled. It was a small scouting party. Easily dealt with.” Seraph sighs with disappointment to see there’s no liquor on the table.
“We are done with the wards!” Fenwick claps with excitement. “No one but members of your Zenith, or your dragons, can get in here unless they can survive a burning blast.”
Highin and Cinder return next.
“We didn’t see anyone who wasn’t friendly.” Cinder leans against the wall, flicking dust off his uniform.
“Good. Let us eat, and then we all need to get some well-deserved rest,” Atlas says calmly.
It’s uncomfortably quiet as we eat. I think we’re all at a loss for what to say after the events of the day.
As much as I appreciate the help of our Zenith, I can finally breathe once everyone leaves.
S?las falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He tries to pull me into him, but I can’t lie still.
I twist and turn restlessly, wondering what I am, wondering who the dark voice that threatened me from S?las’ head belongs to.
Eventually, sleep comes for me, too.
I’m awoken by a kiss on my cheek. I vaguely recall muttering something in my sleep to S?las.
A sense of peace and happiness flowing through my soul at the words he said in response.
His soft, full lips leaving another kiss on my temple before sleep claims me once more as he wraps me tighter in his arms.