chapter twenty-seven It Was Going to Be Awkward Regardless
chapter twenty-seven
It Was Going to Be Awkward Regardless
As soon as I get home, I whip my laptop out and get to work, staying up far later than I should, until finally passing out
on the couch with Winston as my weighted blanket. I wake with the sun, take Winston out on a quick walk, and then continue
plugging away on my laptop while jamming peanut butter toast into my mouth for sustenance. After several hours of work, a
pot of coffee, and slaying that damned blinking curser, I’m ready. Well, as ready as I’ll ever be.
I look at the time—Fuck. I’m cutting it close to get through everything I need to do today and still make it to Gabe’s play on time. There is no
way I can miss that. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but letting him down won’t be one of them.
Before I can go there and face Lex, I need to right a few other wrongs.
With no time for public transit, I call an Uber and pull on a dress before quickly scrubbing off yesterday’s makeup and applying a fresh face. A little formal for my first two stops, but I need to look good for my final destination.
My first stop is Kindness Forward. Swallowing my trepidation, I march into the office, walk past all the desks, and knock
on Ebele’s door.
She answers a moment later. “Oh good, you’re here. I need you to lead us on the project. I’ll call for a meeting and we—”
“Wait,” I interrupt, lowering my voice and stepping closer. “We need to talk.”
Ebele eyes me a moment, her expression guarded, before opening the door wider and stepping aside to let me in, shutting it
behind me. My pulse raises and hands sweat, and inside my brain is yelling at me to get out of there and try to save myself
from the embarrassment and scrutiny of admitting what I did. But I can’t listen to that voice anymore. I have to take responsibility
for my actions—for my life.
After telling Ebele everything that happened with the project and how Jasleen should be in charge of it since she’s the one
who came up with the idea, I shift uncomfortably under her scrutiny for what feels like a lifetime while Ebele taps her fingernails
on her desk.
“Thank you for bringing that to my attention,” she says, finally. “In that case, Jasleen will be taking over the project.
I appreciate you coming clean, Aubrey. I know that was difficult to do.”
A long-held breath whooshes out of me as I press my palms flat on the desk and lean forward. “Thank you. And I’m totally excited
to help on the project any way I can. I was thinking I could—”
“You’re fired, of course.” Ebele regards me with a slight lift of her chin.
My mouth falls open. “Fired?”
She tuts. “You didn’t seriously think you could steal an idea from your co-worker and not face any sort of consequence for it.”
“I thought maybe I’d get written up, or—”
“A write-up is for stealing someone’s lunch from the fridge. Stealing work is not something we tolerate.”
I sink into the chair as her words permeate my brain. Damn. How did I not see that coming?
“Please gather the items from your desk and make your way out. Best of luck on your next endeavour, Aubrey.” Ebele turns from
me back to her computer, dismissing me without so much as a handshake. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to shake my hand,
either.
I let myself out of her office and shut the door behind me. Kindness Forward has been my home for the past several months,
but it feels foreign to me now, like I’m a parasite it’s being cleansed of.
As much as I want to tuck my tail between my legs and run out of there as fast as I can, I’m not done here yet. I force my
feet down the hall to Jasleen’s office. Her door is open a crack and she’s inside, typing away. I knock quietly, the door
pushing open a bit more as I do. Jasleen looks up and does a double take, her expression morphing quickly from surprise to
contempt.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, her upper lip curling into a snarl.
No excuses, no pandering. Just the truth. “I told Ebele what I did.”
Jasleen’s expression shifts back to surprise. “You did?”
“It was wrong of me to take your idea—which is brilliant, by the way. There’s no way I could have ever pulled it off.”
“True.”
“And,” I continue, searching for the right words and finding there are none. “I’m so sorry. I hope I didn’t fuck everything
up past the point of you being able to fix it.”
Jasleen tosses her hair over her shoulder in mock sass. “Nothing is ever past the point where I can’t fix it.”
I smile at her confidence, truly believing her. “Anyway. I’m out of here. Ebele let me go.”
Jasleen’s brows shoot up. “She did?”
“Yup. I deserve it.” I shrug like it’s no big deal and I’m not floundering with what the hell I’ll do with my life or how
I’ll be able to pay my bills.
“Thank you for telling the truth,” Jasleen offers.
I manage to nod. “I also wanted to apologize for the way I’ve behaved around you.”
She tilts her head, but stays quiet.
“I haven’t always been the most kind to you. You reminded me of the girls in high school I always wanted to be friends with
but never was. You’re just so well put together, and confident, and stylish, and I found that intimidating.” I give my head
a slow shake. “I let my jealousy of your strength and intelligence get in the way of our work relationship, and our mission
here at Kindness Forward. I should have rallied behind you and supported you instead of being jealous. I made the same mistake
back in high school, but I guess it was a lesson I had to repeat. In the end, it’s my loss. You’re a really cool person and
I’d have been lucky to call you a friend.”
Being this vulnerable with Jasleen makes me feel cracked open and raw, but instead of a snarky remark she offers a genuine
smile. “Thank you. You’re not so terrible, yourself.”
I step back toward her door. “Take care, Jasleen. And even though I don’t work here anymore, I hope you reach out if you need
any help on the project. I’m not as capable as you, and I don’t have Linda’s yoga skills, or Samantha’s talents with music,
but if you need a business plan.” I snap my fingers and point at her. “I’m your girl.”
She laughs again, her smile radiant. “I will.”
“Oh,” I say, turning to leave but pausing and twisting back. “I hate to ask, but can you do me a favour?”
Jasleen rolls her eyes playfully. “Depends on what it is.”
“Can I store my office stuff in here for the day and then meet up with you sometime to grab it? Maybe over lunch? Bottomless
mimosas?”
Jasleen sighs. “Sure. But make it Pilates and brunch. I’ve only been begging you to go with me since you started here.”
I grin. “Deal.”
Jasleen rises from her desk and joins me in my office, helping sort through everything and stack what I need to keep into
boxes. We work well together, side by side with no animosity between us. Linda and Samantha poke their heads in the door to
see what the commotion is, both of them surprised and sad to see me go. After a tearful goodbye and hugs all around, I make
my way down the hall of Kindness Forward one last time, glancing over my shoulder and giving Team Rainbow a final wave.
Outside, as I hail another Uber, it settles in that I’m out of a job. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I suppose those
are the consequences of my actions, though, and if it means making things right then that’s what needed to happen.
The only way out is through. And I’m committed, regardless of outcome, to press on.
I check the time on my phone. Fuck, it’s going to be close. I didn’t expect that to take so long. I text Olsen from the Uber to confirm that he’s home and tell him I’m on my way to
his place. Lex should already be with Gabe at his school, so Olsen and I will be able to talk privately.
Thirty minutes later I approach Olsen’s house, my footsteps heavy.
The little voice in the back of my mind is urging me to turn around, to follow the path of least resistance, to tell Olsen whatever I need to tell him to let all this blow over with minimal damage to my life.
But that won’t make anything better, and I’m not running from my mistakes anymore.
Whatever happens, I’m going to face it head-on and take every awkward moment in stride.
Olsen answers the door after my first knock, his face bright and hopeful and without a single fucking clue. “You made it!
I was just about to leave. Wow, you look stunning.” He does a quick up-and-down, admiring my dress, before sweeping me into
a hug and holding me close.
I wrap my arms around him, because honestly I need a hug after the day I’ve had.
He pulls away and holds me at arm’s length. “I was worried you weren’t going to make it. Gabe would have been gutted. Me,
too, honestly. I told my parents about you, and—”
I scrunch my nose. “About that.”
Just like with so many other people I’ve spoken to in the last few days, I watch Olsen’s expression shift from elation to
confusion.
“Yeah,” I say with a solemn nod. “We need to talk. Can I come in?”
Olsen releases me and opens the door wider so I can step past. I avoid the couch entirely, not wanting to be reminded of the
last time we were together, and opt for a barstool at his kitchen counter instead. Without needing to be asked, Olsen fetches
me a glass of ice water and takes his place opposite the island, elbows leaning on the countertop, sleeves rolled up to his
forearms, looking slightly concerned and achingly handsome.
“So, listen. You’re a really great guy, and anyone would be lucky to be with you, but—”
“It’s not you, it’s me?” he asks, the corner of his mouth lifting.
“I wish it were that simple or easy,” I say, smiling despite my discomfort.
Olsen reaches across the counter and takes my hand in his. “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
I bite my lip, my insides twisting. “I’m . . . in love with someone else.”
Olsen withdraws his hand. “Oh.”
I close my eyes. Say it. Just say it. Deep breath. “And it’s your sister.”
“Oh!” Olsen steps back until his ass hits the counter behind him. I’m silent as he continues staring at me, puzzling my words
together. After a long moment his brows lower and his head tilts. “Oh, shit.”
“‘Oh, shit’ is right,” I agree.
“Does she know?”
I nod. “Yeah. That night, after what happened on the couch—” I glance uncomfortably at his sofa “—I realized that the whole
time I was going on dates and Lex was helping me out, I’d been falling in love with my best friend. I just didn’t see it.
I’d convinced myself that you were the person for me. You are literally the perfect guy. You’re smart, and handsome, and kind,
and gentle, and great in bed, and a fabulous uncle, and I’m sure you’ll be an amazing dad someday. You’re everything I thought
I’d always wanted, but . . .”
“But you can’t help who you love,” he finishes for me.
I manage to nod.
A long silence settles between us as Olsen digests this information. All I can do is give him time. I’m not going to run from
the discomfort, or try to mask it with a joke, or try to make it better. I told him something difficult; now it’s awkward,
and I’m just going to let it be.
Finally, he says, “Okay.”
I blink a few times. “Okay?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Okay.”
“What do you mean?”
Olsen steps back to the counter, returning to his leaning position, and clasps his big hands together. “Looking back, I can see sparks between you two. You were both acting like idiots in love. One of those hindsight being twenty-twenty things.”
“You’re not . . . mad?”
He shakes his head. “No. It’s weird, don’t get me wrong. I can’t just shut off the part of my brain that likes you and finds
you attractive and thinks about you in ways that are probably inappropriate given you’d rather be with my sister. But I think
with time that will fade.”
“I’m sorry.” I wish there was something else I could do or say to make him feel better, but there isn’t. Sometimes things
are just hard.
“I guess I was deluding myself into thinking you had feelings for me.” He lowers his gaze, shoulders sagging.
“Hey,” I say, my turn to reach across the counter and grab his hand.
“You are not delusional. I was working hard to convince myself, and you, that I was into you—and I was at one point. You’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to be with you.
I do like you—just more as a friend than a lover if that makes sense. ”
Olsen nods, then raises his brows. “Shit, yeah. I guess I’ll be sort of a brother to you if you’re with my sister.”
I draw in a sharp breath and nod. “Yup.”
He shakes his head, chuckling. “Family gatherings are going to be so awkward.”
“It was going to be awkward regardless.” I smile, giving his hand a squeeze before releasing him and leaning back in my seat.
“All I can say is I wish you two the best, then.” He comes around the side of the counter to meet me.
“Are you sure you’re not mad?”
He shakes his head. “Naw. I love my sister. She deserves the world. And you already know I like you. If there’s a way for
you both to be happy, then that’s the future I want.”
I stand and wrap my arms around him for one last hug. He holds me tightly, resting his chin on top of my head. “Thank you,” I whisper past my tight throat.
“So, what next?” Olsen asks, releasing me. “Are you still coming to Gabe’s play?”
“You bet your ass I am. But first—” I slip my laptop out of my purse and set it on the counter. “I could really use your help.”