20 Dane
Dane
“YOU’RE LUCKY I DIDN’T have a shotgun on me. I thought you were a rabid animal given the way you came huffing out of the woods.”
Fox walks through the door of his cabin, handing me a mug with ice water in it. The cup reads “World’s Biggest Grump” on the side. I ignore his friendly barb and take the drink, staring at the silly inscription.
“You drink out of this?” I ask.
“It was a present from Nathan on my last birthday, so yes.”
“You’ve gone soft,” I tease him.
Fox raises a thick blond eyebrow at me as we both take a seat next to each other on the top step leading to his front door. “You think I didn’t punish him for it first?”
I chuckle and sip the ice water, the gentle breeze and the water easing my overheated body. I ran harder and longer than I thought I did. My muscles are going to kill me later. “I imagine you did and that he couldn’t sit for a week.”
Fox is a Dominant I’ve always admired, someone who’s been a good friend since we met. While one could be put off by his height, strength, and tattoos, I recognized a kindred spirit in him, same with Morgan.
Fox is similar to me but tends to be more aggressive in his style of punishment. I witnessed a scene with him and Morgan once and saw the way he handles his wife. It works for him, for them. I can go hard, and I enjoy being rough, but I tend to lean more on the forgiving side than Fox does.
“Nathan said he met you the other day.” Fox folds his tattooed hands over his knees in front of him. “He came back and let us know he met the online lumbersnack Dom.”
I chuckle. “Guess that confirms you told him about me.”
He nods. “Not your identity—just the videos. He put that together when you met.”
I nod back at him. I still work for Fox and Morgan from time to time during busy seasons.
Less now since my Loopr has become popular and my client list is long.
But in the last two years, my friendship with the married couple has become more peer-to-peer than anything else, especially since I don’t leave my cabin much anymore.
I know Fox is someone I can turn to when I need someone to talk with.
Morgan as well. But since she’s the one who sent Lindsey to me, Fox is a better option to keep her identity sealed to the best of my ability.
“So are you going to tell me why you came over unannounced after I haven’t seen you in months, or do I have to guess?”
I exhale and set the mug down next to me, dropping my hands between my legs, much like how Fox is positioned. “I came for advice.”
Fox makes a low humming sound. “And you came to me instead of my wife?”
“It may not be smart, but I’ll take my chances.”
Fox’s lips twitch, and I notice he looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. Morgan felt much the same in our few interactions since Nathan came along, and I’m glad to see it. They’re a couple who deserve to be happy.
“Alright. As I mentioned, Morgan and Nathan are in town for a bit, so you can talk freely. It’s just us.”
“I’ll save us both the small talk and cut straight to it.” Fox nods as a gesture to keep speaking. It’s true that I haven’t seen him in a while, but we don’t need to talk about the weather. We’re simply not that type of people.
“I have a new submissive,” I say. “Things have become complicated.”
Fox’s brow furrows. “Is this relationship in person?”
“It’s—” I want to say the word complicated, but that won’t help Fox give me advice.
“They contacted me online, and we went through all the proper protocols, talks, agreements, and boundaries. We’ve only been working together for a brief time, but things have become hazy because we discovered each other’s identities. ”
“By accident?” Fox asks.
I nod. “The details are unimportant. I do not want to say too much since I don’t want to give hints as to who they are.”
Fox places his hands on his knees and rubs his palms on his jeans. He may be wondering if he knows them, but knowing Fox, he’s attempting not to. He’s not a nosy person and never has been. I’ve always liked that about him.
“Do you feel at risk of them sharing your identity with others?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, nothing like that. If I’d be worried about anyone spilling the beans, it would be Levi.”
“He has a big mouth.”
“That he does.”
We both exhale a laugh before Fox asks, “Then what is it that brought you here?”
“I’m attracted to them, and I believe they are to me. The boundaries I set up in our dynamic are becoming blurred. I don’t know what it is about them, but they make me want things I haven’t wanted in a long time, maybe ever.”
“Should I cut to the part where you tell me you’re considering asking them to do scenes in person?”
My spine straightens as I stare at my friend. “That was not what I was going to ask.”
Fox almost smiles as he smacks me on the back. “It wasn’t?”
The sting of his pat shakes whatever veil has been held over my eyes, and the reality of his question sets in. “Asking them hadn’t crossed my mind.”
“Consciously,” Fox adds. “But it’s where we would have ended up. I’ve seen that look in your eye, because I’ve had it before. With Morgan and with Nathan.”
“I’m not looking for a full-time, live-in submissive,” I refute, which is true.
While I love what I do, living the lifestyle twenty-four seven with someone has never been what I imagined for myself, not even if I decided to settle down someday.
A twenty-four seven dynamic is a massive commitment.
It demands constant time, attention, and energy from both partners.
It’s not just about control; it’s about caretaking, management, emotional stewardship.
You’re essentially becoming responsible for someone else’s routine, mental state, and growth every hour of the day, not just during scenes.
I don’t think it’s something Lindsey would want, either, especially with the added responsibility of Kas.
“I never said anything about a twenty-four seven live-in submissive.” Fox smirks. “I said in-person scenes. I know you know there’s a difference.”
My brain rewinds the conversation, and he’s right. When I don’t speak, Fox places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes.
“When was the last time you did an in-person scene with someone?”
“Over a year,” I answer honestly.
Fox dips his chin, and I don’t see any judgment in his eyes. “Because you don’t want to?”
“Life, work; it’s been busy. Starlight Haven is small, and I don’t want to risk people talking. Usually, I’ll drive to Los Angeles when I have the desire, which was the last time I did an in-person. The scene was fine, but it wasn’t fulfilling. Since then, I’ve found my work to be enough.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself. Everything you’re saying makes sense. I only asked because I think you forget you have needs.”
“I don’t want to use this person simply for my sexual needs.”
Fox grunts. “I didn’t mean to imply that. But Dane, you give and you care for so many people, but who is taking care of you?”
His line of questioning reminds me of my questions to Lindsey.
“I take care of myself,” I say simply.
“You do, and I’m not saying you don’t do it well.
You’re one of the most put-together and well-adjusted people I’ve ever met.
But you know I’ve always taken issue with Domming being your main source of work.
You need real-life connection to keep yourself sane and fulfilled in all areas of your life, not just sexually. ”
Now I’m the one grunting. “I hear what you’re saying, but I haven’t had this issue before. I haven’t thought of my clients in this way or needed an in-person connection to keep me grounded. I have my routines for that.”
“Exercise and work are good, but they don’t replace what I’m talking about, and you’re smart enough to know that.”
I run my hand over my beard, jaw tense from clenching it. I know that’s true, but I’m fighting it. “Even if you’re right, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m thinking of a client in a way I shouldn’t. In a way I can’t think about them.”
“And what way is that?”
I run my tongue over my teeth. “You’re going to make me say it?”
“Do I have to ask you to use your words?”
“You’re a bastard sometimes, you know that?”
“You’re the one who came to me for advice. Morgan is nicer.”
My eyes shift to Fox. He’s watching me like a predator watching his prey. I exhale and say what I shouldn’t but know I need to get out.
“Like they could be more.”
He nods slightly in approval of my words. “And you think they wouldn’t want that?”
“They came to me for help, to structure their life and build discipline.”
“You said that you believe them to be attracted to you as well. That tells me your feelings are not one-sided, yet now you’re having me believe they are. Which is it?”
I think of all my interactions with Lindsey.
The comments she left on my videos that started our interactions, the “tingly” feeling she mentioned in her email, the way she looked at me and called me Sir so easily at the park the other day, her admission of wanting to kneel in front of me and ease my disappointment with her smart mouth.
I blow out a breath. “No, I don’t think they’re one-sided.”
“Then you’re getting in your own way. Wanting this person, being attracted to them, it’s not a crime or a sin.
If you were some creep who collected subs online for your own perverted pleasure, that would be one thing, but you’re not that.
You’re a good man, and a good Dom. Stop beating yourself up over what you’re telling me is a mutual attraction.
It sounds like what you need to do is speak with them and rewrite your agreement, if that’s what you both want.
That way, the lines will no longer be blurred. ”
I ruminate over his words and know he’s right.
I’ve spent so much time building my business, making sure my submissives are safe and cared for with me.
I never want anyone to feel as if I’ve crossed a line or that I’m what Fox said: an anonymous man on the internet who gets off on telling people what to do.
I’ve never been that and never wanted to be that.
I’ve also never wanted to be just a man who gets off on power and control like my father was. What I do has always been about a mutually beneficial relationship, exploring kink in a safe container.
Fox’s hand squeezes my shoulder, and our eyes meet again. “You alright?”
I nod. “You’re bringing up good points. It’s making me think.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
My chest shakes with laughter, and Fox drops his hand.
“You can be funny sometimes, Malone,” I say, intentionally using his last name.
“Don’t get used to it.”
I look at the “World’s Biggest Grump” mug sitting next to me. “Gotta keep up the persona.”
His lip twitches. “Not a persona.”
I smirk, knowing that Fox is a big softie on the inside. He may come off as a grump and be ex–Special Forces, but if you get the privilege of knowing the true him, you know he’s one of the best men around. Which is why I take his advice to heart when he gives it.
We stare out at the woods for another few minutes, my brain processing everything he’s said. When I hear the sound of tires on dirt and gravel, I stand, knowing Morgan and Nathan are on their way up the drive.
“I’m going to head out. Thanks for the chat.”
Fox stands and claps me on the back in a brief hug. “Hope it helped.”
I nod and start to walk away.
“Dane?” Fox calls.
I stop and turn. Fox is still standing at the bottom of the steps with his hands in his jean pockets, tattooed arms bulging under his T-shirt. “I don’t know much about your past, but whatever is blocking you from being happy, kick it in the fucking ass. Don’t let it control you.”
My pulse quickens as I stare at my friend. There are many things Fox could say, but that was more than insightful.
“You a life coach now?”
He chuckles. “Thinking about being an online Pro Dom, actually.”
“I know someone who could help you with that.”
Fox flips me off as his truck comes up the drive. I flip him off right back and leave before his partners can see me, taking off into the woods at a jog.