40 Dane
Dane
THE LAST TIME I was this nervous was the first time I topped a submissive in my early twenties.
Another Dom was watching, and the entire thing was intimate but also felt clinical.
He was my mentor, there to see if I did anything that would make my partner uncomfortable.
I didn’t, but it was helpful either way because I’ve always been a perfectionist.
In this case, my nerves are not about doing a scene with Lindsey again in person—I’ve been craving it since the last one—but everything to do with what I plan to ask her. Her progress with me is beyond anything I could have imagined.
When I said she was born to be a submissive, I was right.
She’s only proven that to me the more we’ve worked together.
She’s still a brat and will keep those tendencies because it’s part of who she is, but she’s grown in her confidence and willingness to submit to me.
I know that will only continue the deeper our relationship grows, which is why I’m going to present her with the training collar I’ve gotten for her tonight.
I glance at the clock on my wall as I hear the gravel crunch beneath the tires of her car. It’s five minutes to seven, and with Lindsey, I know she’ll give herself a pep talk before she knocks on my door exactly one minute before the clock hits the hour.
I look around my space. I would have lit candles on the table, but after she told me the story of how her asshole ex cheated on her, I don’t want her to be triggered.
Instead, I dimmed the lights, put a small bouquet of wildflowers that Kas picked for me earlier on the table in a vase, and left a square, velvet, black box in front of the place where Lindsey will sit.
The sound of her car door slamming makes the nerves in my stomach build, and I square my shoulders. I let her knock and pause for a few seconds, inhaling a breath before opening the door.
While I’ve learned how to keep my nerves from my features, I can see them clearly on Lindsey’s.
She’s smiling, but there’s a tiny furrow in her brow, and she’s gripping her purse in front of her tightly.
It’s not unusual for her to be nervous; everything we do is new to her.
Tonight, though, what I’m going to ask her is new for me, too.
“Hi,” she greets.
“Hey, baby.”
The grip she has on her purse relaxes a bit, and I open the door so she can come in. The smell of her floral perfume wafts past me, tickling my nose. Once the door is locked, I face her, taking her purse and hanging it on a hook near the door where I keep my keys.
We stare at each other for a moment. She’s beautiful as usual.
Her hair is lightly curled, and she’s wearing a bit of makeup.
Instead of a dress like last time, she’s got on a flared black skirt that hits mid-thigh and a rust-colored V-neck shirt that brings out the chocolate notes of her eyes and hair.
I reach up and take a lock between my fingers, feeling the silky texture. “All this for me?” I ask, pulling gently on the curl, which bounces when I release it.
Her tone is cheeky and playful as she asks, “Who else would it be for?”
I put my hands in the pockets of the black slacks I chose to wear that match the black button-down I have on.
The top buttons are open, and the sleeves are rolled up to my forearms the way I know Lindsey likes.
It’s hard to miss when she stares at my chest and arms whenever she can, practically salivating.
I cock my head. “Already trying to get spanked?”
She almost bites the inside of her cheek, but I see her thinking better of it. Good girl.
“No.” She swallows and grips her hands in front of her. “Just a little nervous.”
I like that she’s being honest, even if I knew the information she just shared.
I step closer so I can feel the heat of her body and brush my finger down the round curve of her jaw.
I could tell her to kneel, allow her submissive pose to ground her, but not yet.
We need to talk first, and I don’t want to get caught up in a scene.
I don’t want her to be influenced in any way to say yes to what I want to ask.
I stop stroking her jaw to gently cup her cheek. “Is there a particular reason that you’re nervous?”
She wets her lips, and her skin flushes pink. “I—” She tries to look down, but I hold her face firm. Her jaw clenches beneath my touch, but I don’t waver in my eye contact, softening my gaze so she feels safe to tell me.
“Nathan, Morgan, and Fox know about us,” she says.
Of all the things she could have said, that was not what I expected. Especially when we haven’t even made it to the dining table yet.
“They do,” I answer simply. I was going to ask her how she felt about that before I presented her with my collar, but she seemed good earlier.
I know it’s a step in a new direction, one I admittedly didn’t think about when I showed up at their cabin earlier—I was only thinking about seeing Lindsey and Kas, too. Not about what the others would think.
“What are we, Dane?”
The way she asks the question, uncertain and small, punches me in the gut. “You don’t know?”
I hold her chin, my stomach rolling at her words. I thought I had made myself clear about what we were. I thought our discussions of the training collar and calling her mine showed her how I felt. Then there was today at the cabin, the bracelets, my growing relationship with Kas.
“We’ve never talked about what we are.”
“We haven’t?” I challenge.
“Tell me when,” she says, defiant.
My lip twitches at her tone, but I don’t ask her to say it again in a nicer way. We can address her brat side in our scene later.
“At your home two weeks ago, and several times since then.”
“That was different; we were talking about our dynamic, not about you showing up at my brother’s or offering to teach Kas how to fish. Not about you kissing my forehead like you’re my boyfriend in front of Morgan.”
I release her chin and trail my hand down her body. Goose bumps flare over her arms, and her breathing turns sharper.
When I reach her waist, I stop. “You’re right; we didn’t talk about what our relationship would look like outside of our D/s dynamic.”
Her eyes soften, and I grip the soft flesh of her hip.
“I have owned up to about my failures with you before, and I’ll do so again now.
I’ve told you that my relationship with you has been different from the start.
As I’ve said, I have not had a dynamic like this with anyone else.
I know I’m a good Dom, but I am human, and when I’m with you, Lindsey, sometimes I forget myself.
I believed the words I spoke and your acceptance of my actions meant we were on the same page. ”
She swallows. “You are a good Dom, Dane. I didn’t mean for you to question yourself. I just—things are complicated in my life, and…Do you really want a relationship with me? Outside of what we have, I mean.”
“First, it’s good for me to question myself, and it’s good for you to challenge me in these cases.
But I need you to know that I never meant for you to doubt how I feel about you or where this relationship was heading.
I wouldn’t have set you on the path to earning a training collar if I didn’t want you, Lindsey.
Not just the submissive side of you—all of you. ”
I look down at the bracelet I made for her earlier, which is still on her wrist. My heart thuds in my chest. She didn’t remove it.
I brush my fingers over the woven leaves, and her hand closes over the one I still have on her hip. Her fingers tighten, and I look up at her.
“You’d really want that?”
The way she sounds unsure kills me, and I know I have a lot to make up for. Looking back on the past few weeks, I realize this conversation should have come before tonight.
But like everything with Lindsey, things are different.
And as I told her, I’ve made mistakes. We moved fast and fell hard, at least I did.
And I believe she has, too. In the last two weeks, we did take a step back, took the time to build our relationship as a Dom and sub, and we learned more about each other outside of that dynamic.
But I never told her that I already view her as more than just my submissive.
“Allow me to use my words and actions, Lindsey.” I carefully lower to my knees and look up at her. I didn’t expect to be in this position tonight, but I want to convey to her where our relationship is heading if she accepts it.
“What are you doing?”
I take her hands in mine and exhale a calming breath. I dip my chin and bring the tops of her hands to my forehead, resting them there in submission before I bring them to my lips.
I kiss her heated skin then speak up to make sure she hears my words clearly.
“I want you, Lindsey. I’ve wanted you since the moment we ran into each other.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
You make me want to show up better—as a man, as a Dom.
You make me think about things I didn’t think were for me…
a future, a family, something real. When I told you you’re mine, I meant it.
If you’re ready to move forward, I want to be with you.
I want to be yours. Fully. Honestly. Not just claim you with my collar, but with every part of me. ”
“Dane, please, get up.”
I shake my head. “No, baby. I won’t. Because I need you to hear me. I need you to understand what I feel for you, what I’m saying.”
She stares down at me, and I can see her brain moving a mile a minute. When her gaze flicks behind me, I look over my shoulder and follow her line of sight. I turn back around and take her by the hips, pulling her body into mine.
She lets out a small squeak, her hands falling to my shoulders to steady herself.
“The painting is of you,” I tell her.
She blinks, her fingers digging into my shoulders. “What?”
“I told you, Lindsey. You’re mine, and I mean that. There’s no one else but you.”