Chapter 7
Faith
I’m pulled from a deep sleep when I feel my little man poking my cheek.
“Momma,” he whispers.
Opening my eyes, I meet his at the same time registering the warmth at my back and the weight of the arm surrounding not just me but Alec as well.
Oh shit.
Alex is in bed with me. Holding me and our son in his arm.
Oh God. I used to love this feeling. I wished for it more than once over the past four years, especially on the nights I would cry myself to sleep due to the cold growing within me. I missed him so much and having this, even for this moment, means the world to me.
“Momma,” Alec whispers again.
“Yeah, baby,” I murmur quietly not wanting to wake Alex.
“I dreamed Daddy was here. That he came for us.” God, I love my little boy and the love he has for a man he hadn’t met until last night. I knew he wouldn’t really remember last night. When he’s tired, he doesn’t remember much.
“That’s because I’m right here, little man,” Alex declares in his gravelly sleep filled voice that does things to my body I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Well between his voice and the ridge that’s pressing against my ass.
At the sound of Alex’s voice, Alec’s eyes light up and he immediately pops up to throw himself over me into his dad’s chest. “Daddy,” he yells in a fit of giggles.
“Hey, little man,” Alex says, wrapping his arms around our son after having released his hold on me for Alec.
“I can’t believe you’re finally here. I get to show you all my toys and teddys and, and, and my pictures,” Alec says excitedly. “Oh, Momma can make her pancakes for us.”
“Alec, baby, I can’t make pancakes right now but what if Momma takes you to get pancakes,” I suggest not wanting to burst his happy bubble.
He loves his pancakes. Chocolate chip, blueberry, anything really in them except for nuts.
I’d found out he was allergic to them and it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced.
It was also a day I nearly broke down and called Alex.
Seeing your child turning blue unable to breathe due to his airway closing, I’d been freaked but thankfully I was able to get to the hospital in time for them to help save him.
“What if I take my family to get breakfast so we can get our game plan set for the day?” Alex declares.
“Yay,” Alec squeals, causing me to flinch due to the high pitch.
“Easy, bud, no reason to be so loud when we’re all right here, save it for outside, okay?” Alex says firmly as he lifts himself up into a sitting position with Alec in his arms still.
“Sorry,” Alec murmurs.
“It’s okay, little man. You need to go potty?” I say lifting a hand to cup the side of his face.
“Potty,” he nods.
One thing about Alec since being potty trained, he forgets in the morning when he wakes up, he needs to go and will sometimes have an accident without meaning to.
“Then go ahead,” I say pointing in the direction of the bathroom door on the other side of the room in the corner. “Don’t forget to flush and I’ll be there in a minute to help you reach the sink to wash your hands.”
“Okay, Momma,” Alec says, sliding out of his dad’s arms and rushing to the bathroom on his tiny little legs.
“Fuck.” I turn to look up at the sound of Alex’s voice to find him staring down at me.
“I forgot how good it felt to have you in my arms at night, baby,” he murmurs as he leans down, his mouth hovering over mine.
“I’m gonna get us back to where we need to be.
Not about to go another night without what I had in my bed again. ”
Oh. My.
Did he just say?
God, I have to be dreaming. Yep that’s it.
Any minute I’m going to wake up and find this is just a torturous nightmare.
You know like the saying too good to be true.
Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now.
Especially when as these thoughts go through my head, Alex’s mouth brushes against mine causing all thoughts to go out of my head as I gasp.
Alex takes it upon himself to use this to his advantage and slides his tongue into mine as he locks our mouths together. An involuntary moan escapes me as Alex moves, stretching out next to me, and reaching up to cup the side of my neck as he continues the kiss.
“Eww.” Alex breaks the kiss at the sound of Alec’s voice. “Why are you kissing my momma, Daddy?” he asks.
“Because that’s what daddies do with mommies,” Alex states matter-of-factly.
“But you’ve never done it before,” Alec declares.
“That’s because I did it while Mommy was dreaming.
Now that I’m here and bringing you both home, I can do it all the time.
And I can also give my little man snuggles, this way you don’t have to say good night to a picture of me.
” I knew Alex would be a good dad, but he just proved he could be a great one.
My heart aches for denying my guys bonding time.
The only thing I was able to do was give Alec a picture of his dad whereas his dad had nothing.
God I’m such a selfish stupid bitch for doing this to them.
Clearing my throat, I jump out of the bed needing to get away from Alex. “Come on Alec, let’s get you cleaned up and changed,” I say, making my way to him.
Granted I don’t have anything for me to change into, Alec has clean clothes he can put on.
I can easily go by a store and grab something to put on.
I’m not picky, never have been. Though I used to take forever picking outfits out or primping for whatever the occasion was, I didn’t have to have high dollar jeans or shirts.
Hell, most of my clothes now are Wal-Mart because I use what I can on getting Alec the best he can have.
Damnit, why did he have to kiss me?
My mind is a puddle of mess right now as I try to focus on Alec.
Nothing comes before my baby and never will. His needs in life are what’s important. It’s why I came to Alex rather than going to Lawson. Didn’t matter to me, I knew he could help. What mattered was the fact Alex was here and, in my heart, I knew without a doubt he’d protect his son.
Stop it. Just enjoy the moment. My heart screams out as my head wants to deny what’s going on right now.
Either way I’m screwed five ways to Sunday.
Alex is back and he has that look in his eye meaning he’s not stopping until he gets his way.
Shit.
* * *
“Faith, you need anything from that house before we get on the road?” Alex asks as he puts the hood of my car back in place and wipes his hands.
This morning you can say has been filled with activity. After getting Alec dressed, Alex hopped into the shower and got ready. The three of us then walked across the street to the diner for breakfast. I’d brought Alec here a couple of times knowing they had pancakes and he’d like them.
Alex’s brothers and Lyrica joined us not long after we sat down.
My best friend seemed completely annoyed by Fuse who ignored her attitude.
The guys all talked about their plans as Lyrica and I discussed leaving North Carolina and going to Louisiana.
She didn’t have a problem with this since she declared ‘I’m coming with you. No arguments.’
Once done with breakfast Alex, Fuse, and Brake decided to do a full run through on my car. Something I must say was unnecessary since I kept it in prime condition. Sure, I probably should trade it in but I loved that car. Alex had given it to me a long time ago and I didn’t want to part with it.
Now here I am staring up at Alex from where I was sitting on the curb while Lyrica and Alec played in the room for a bit. I can’t help but let my mind go through what all was in the house that I could possibly want. Only I didn’t want to go in that house again.
Pictures, Alec’s baby book, important papers, Alec’s extra EpiPen . . . I guess you can say there’s stuff I want from the house.
“Yeah,” I nod. “There’s a few things, plus I’d like to get some of my clothes and more of Alec’s before we get on the road,” I shrug.
“Alright, let’s get you guys loaded up and over there.
Pit, Tyres, and Brake are gonna head out, Fuse is coming with us.
We’ll get your shit, eat something, then get on the road.
Does Alec have anything to keep him occupied in the car for long trips?
” I shake my head to this, since he didn’t.
We’ve never gone too far. The farthest I’ve ever taken him was to see his allergist.
“We’ll stop and get him something on the way out then,” he mutters as he gets closer to me with his hand reached out. Taking it, I allow him to help me stand up.
“You don’t have to do that,” I murmur.
“Faith, baby, he’s my kid too, same as you’re my woman.
I fucked up letting you go. Lost out of getting to take care of you and helping raise our son.
I’m not about to let another day go by without doing so.
You know I get my way when I put my mind to something and I’ll promise you this.
I mean what I say I’m not missing another day in being in both your lives.
” Alex places his forehead against my own as he makes his intentions known.
Which in turn causes something in my stomach to flutter.
Damn I’m more than screwed. I’m a goner.
When it comes to Alex ‘Axel’ DeVere, I can’t help but cave to his demands. He owns my heart, my body, and my soul.
I only hope I’m not being completely stupid in giving him what he wants yet again.