Baby, You’re My Weakness

1. Baby

BABY

After being locked up for almost three years, I’m glad I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder. When some people get released from prison, they’d wanna go out and celebrate their first night of freedom, but all I wanna do is make it to my auntie’s house and chill.

Auntie Misha is the youngest of four girls. She raised me and my sister, Leah, when my mama overdosed on crack cocaine. At the time, I was eleven years old, and Leah was only nine. Even though I was so young, I remembered most of my childhood.

I remember daddy disappearing after telling us he was going to the store for milk and cereal.

We waited hours for him, but he never came back.

I remember sleeping in abandoned buildings and washing our asses in gas station bathrooms when my mama got evicted from her apartment.

That same bathroom is where I found her, slumped over the toilet with a needle in her arm.

The only good thing that came from this situation is that Leah remembered nothing.

She thought mama died from a heart attack and instead of telling her the truth, that’s something I let her believe all these years.

I always watched out for my sister, even when mama was still living.

I’m the one she ran to every time she got sick, and the one who made sure she ate every night.

I missed meals just to make sure she didn’t.

So, when my ex-boyfriend, T.K, snuck into her room when she was sixteen years old, with the intentions of doing God knows what to her, I felt I didn’t have a choice when I did what I did.

I knew auntie had a bat behind the door that she kept for emergencies, and grabbed it, running back in my sister’s room to beat his ass with it.

Afterwards, he had the nerve to call the police on me, like he wasn’t tryna do some nasty shit to her.

I damn near caught his ass red handed at the foot of her bed, and he still had the audacity to say it wasn’t what it looked like.

She had the covers pulled all the way up to her neck, a mortified look on her face.

Seeing that only pissed me off more.

She was a good girl. Never been in any trouble, so for him to almost violate her like that had me thinking I should’ve done more damage. I don’t regret my choices, and I wouldn’t change shit about that day.

I only got three years in prison due to the circumstances. I kept my head down and minded my business the entire bid, so I’m out early, after two and a half years on good behavior.

I was weeks away from graduation when this happened. Two months after my eighteenth birthday. I had to get my G.E. D while locked up and now that I’m out, I had no idea what to do with this newfound freedom.

Hearing a horn behind me, I snapped my head in that direction and laughed when I saw my sister rolling up in a nice ass grey Audi. How can she afford something like this?

The last time I spoke to auntie, she never mentioned anything about her having a job.

“Sista, Sista!” she yelled loudly, with her head sticking halfway out the window.

I just shook mine and ran to the driver’s side door, grabbing the handle to swing it open. She got out just in time for me to throw my arms around her shoulders.

“I missed you, Lee-Lee. You got so grown. Look at you!” I gestured towards her body.

She chuckled, wiping at her tears, before pulling me in for another hug.

We stood there bawling in each other’s arms for a good five minutes.

This is my first time seeing her since I got locked up because I told my auntie not to let her come and visit me.

I know she would’ve felt guilty and blamed herself for what happened, but I needed her to move on with her life.

“Period. I got ass now,” she pointed out, twisting her head to look back at it.

I couldn’t help the smile on my face. We looked so much alike we could pass for twins, although she was darker than me.

My daddy ain’t do much for us, but I’m glad we were blessed with his honey brown eyes.

She went to get in the car, and I followed, walking over to the passenger’s side door.

As we drove away, I threw up my hand, chucking up the deuces towards that raggedy ass prison.

During the hour ride back to my auntie’s house, we played catch up.

She told me everything I missed out on. Apparently, my auntie got a boo thang, who comes over almost every night to blow her back out.

And since she turned eighteen and graduated a few weeks ago, Leah was saving money to move out.

I told her how proud I am of her. I didn’t even wanna think about the way things would’ve been if I hadn’t walked in when I did.

The conversation continued until we pulled into the driveway.

When I noticed all the cars outside, I figured this get together had something to do with me.

“Who planned this, Leah? I told auntie I didn’t want company.”

I should have known she wouldn’t listen. It’s too damn early in my release to have all these people in my face.

The only thing I wanna do is take a hot shower. This’ll be the first time I enjoyed it without thinking about somebody sneaking up on me. It had gotten so bad, I started to sleep with a razor under my pillow.

“I told her don’t do it, but you know how she is,” she smacked her lips, reaching to open the car door.

Leah threw me a funny look over her shoulder before she walked in.

“SUPRISE!”

The minute I crossed over the threshold, everybody shouted at once. I guess I had to pretend I didn’t know they were here, so I placed a hand over my heart and gasped. “Oh my God. Are y’all serious?”

My auntie was the first to come up. She sobbed hysterically while pulling me in for a hug.

My cousin, Jayda, walked up next, with her arms extended.

I wasted no time throwing mine around her neck.

I can admit, during that embrace, I felt a few tears rolling down my face.

We are around the same age, so naturally we grew up together.

If you saw me in the streets, you saw Jayda right beside me.

She let me go reluctantly, so somebody else can get their turn.

As she walked away, her shoulders bumped roughly against Leah’s.

I could never understand the secret beef they had between each other.

I tried over the years to settle whatever was going on, but Jayda wasn’t feeling it.

Everybody that came after her to greet me, I had no dealings with.

Especially my cousin, Tranae, Jayda’s sister.

She and my sister were thick as thieves, but I can’t stand her. Tranae is the worst kind of hoe. You know the ones that sleep with your man, then be in your face like it ain’t nothing minutes later.

I don’t know what her problem is, but every time we were around each other, I catch her ass staring me down. She had the nerve to stroll over and give me a side hug as if we were cool like that.

I reciprocated, because I was tryna be the bigger person these days, but the shit was awkward. It felt fake and phony, just like her ugly ass. I know she was one of the people praying for my downfall.

My family smothered me to death, and an hour passed before I could sneak off. When I finally made it to my room, I was surprised to see nothing’s changed.

I figured my auntie would have turned this into some kind of nail salon by now. Before I got locked up, she was doing it on the side for extra income. It wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t complain about needing more space.

The first thing I did was go in my closet.

I had a tough time finding something to wear, since I haven’t worn these clothes in years.

My eyes finally landed on a pair of skinny jeans that I matched with a halter top I got from Forever 21.

I was supposed to wear it for my graduation party, but sadly, I never got the opportunity.

When I finished getting myself together, I went into the kitchen to fix myself a plate of food.

My stomach growled, spotting the macaroni and cheese on the counter.

I added baked beans and two pieces of fried chicken to go with it, then stood near the stove.

That way, I can eat in peace and won’t be interrupted by anybody.

I made it back in the living room just in time to get in on a spades game. I rolled my eyes when I walked past Leah and Tranae, who were in the cut, whispering amongst each other.

Leah invited her boyfriend, Derek, to come over too. He sat beside her, with his head buried in his phone. We spoke earlier when I first came in, and he seemed like a cool dude, just not my sister’s cup of tea.

Now, I ain’t saying she only with him for the money, but judging by his clothes, I can tell he had plenty of it. I assumed he’s the one who brought her that car.

It’s been so long since I played spades, however, I’m sitting here kicking ass and taking names.

Me and my auntie was on the same team against two of my cousins.

Everything was well and dandy until I spotted one of them cuffing cards in her bra.

I threw mine down and told they cheating asses, I quit.

I grabbed a can of Pepsi from the cooler to drink before plopping in the seat beside Jayda. She was texting, but looked up when she felt my presence.

“Hey cousin,” she greeted me. Placing her phone in her lap, she confessed, “I wanted to talk to you, but you seemed to be having fun over there with the old people.”

While I was locked up, auntie Misha and Jayda were the only ones I allowed to visit me. She couldn’t come all the time and I respected that, but I appreciated when she did. Seeing her face on the other side of the glass meant more to me than she’ll ever know.

“Chile, Tony, over there hiding cards in them big ass titties.” I glared at the person in question. Jayda held her hand over her mouth when Tasha cast a glance in our direction. She waited until she turned back around to burst out laughing.

A few people peaked over to see what was funny, including Tranae. While everybody else went back to minding their business, she narrowed her eyes at me with suspicion.

“What’s up with Tranae, Jayda?” I nudged her with my elbow, then pointed across the room to where she sat.

She tried to be discreet, watching her out the corner of her eye. “You know Tranae, always getting herself in something.”

Even though they were sisters, Jayda and Tranae can’t stand each other.

They asses can’t be in the same room for a long period without arguing.

I tilted my head back to take a sip of soda, shrugging nonchalantly, as she continued, “She just got her ass beat a few months ago for fucking on somebody’s man. ”

I’m not at all surprised by this. We never threw hands, but I know for a fact her ass can’t fight. The loud ones never could. I watched her get dog walked on more than one occasion.

“You got a problem?” I just came out and asked her. I don’t have time to beat around no bushes. If she got beef, she should say that. Instead of answering me, she smirked. I was getting ready to leap up outta my seat, but Jayda held me down.

“Hoe, sit yo’ ass down. You been out a hot second and you already finna go back. If you hit her, you know she’ll call the police on you, just to see it happen,” she argued.

She had a point. Tranae doesn’t play fair, never has, never will. Reluctantly, I sat back down, but not before glaring at her ugly ass one more time. When I did that, I noticed my sister, nor her man, was present. Any other time, I’d be worried tryna find her, but I ain’t move from my seat.

Instead, me and Jayda talked for hours. She was telling me about the boyfriends she’s had, the people who died that I knew, and the ones who moved away.

Nobody left until the early hours of the morning. It went from being my welcome home party to a block party. People were walking in and out the entire night, and I didn’t know most of them.

After a while, Jayda left, and I went to go lay my ass down.

My eyes grew heavy as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I ignored everything going on in the front room.

I can tell by the banging on the wall and my auntie yelling, that somebody had got into a fight.

I was too tired to get up and be nosey. In prison, I’m used to loud sounds around me, so I had no problem dozing off to sleep.