Chapter 41
Luke
“Why won’t you tell me the name?” Annie asks as she walks in front of me. I have my hands over her eyes as we make our way through the parking lot, headed to the soft opening of the coffee shop.
“If it’s my desserts and baked goods that will be sold here, I feel like I should have a say in the name,” she adds, and she has no idea how right she is.
Annie didn’t even let me finish asking her if she’d handle the bakery side of things at the coffee shop before she said yes, promising she’d make the time she could during rotations.
This soft opening of the coffee shop is just the Lenny's crew, the grand opening being the day we’ll be joined by other friends and family, minus Jack who decided he would be spending a few more weeks up north at his family’s cabin and Bennett who is here in spirit.
Mia has been gaining traction on the shop’s social media accounts, gaining a following and some excitement for the grand opening. We’re so close to having it open to the public .
It’s Sunday morning and the first snow of December, and I like to think the beautiful day is thanks to my brother.
Lately, the days have felt easier, lighter, brighter , than they have in weeks, and I’m trying my best to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Life won’t ever be the same without Bennett—things like the opening of the coffee shop, his birthday, the holidays, and all the other celebrations to come will look different without him, but I know he wouldn’t want me to stop living, even if I can’t always ignore the guilt of going on without him.
My talk with Emmett, opening up to Annie, continuing therapy; all of it has helped me realize that Bennett was always right—life is too short. It’s too short to not chase after the things you want and letting go of whatever holds you back from that.
I won’t ever let go of Bennett, not for as long as I live, but I’m working every day to let go of this guilt I have of living when he doesn’t get the same chance.
I like to think it’s what he would’ve wanted for me.
“You’ve waited this long, you can wait two more minutes,” I reply, pressing a kiss to the top of Annie’s head, the snowflakes in her brown hair wetting my lips.
After my talk with Emmett, my mind was all over the place, my feelings started to make more sense, but I couldn’t get what he said about honoring his sister in his everyday life out of my head. I also couldn’t get the thought of Annie out of my head.
When I ran out of Lenny’s to my car, the air felt clearer, the moon shined brighter, the pavement under my sneakers felt more stable.
When I got home, it felt normal , like I was coming home from work, on any normal day, to find Annie in the shower after a night of stress-baking—the dark chocolate cupcakes cooling on our kitchen counter, the smell of the peanut butter frosting still lingering in the air.
For the first time in weeks, I felt like my senses were awakened, that I wasn’t just living in black and white anymore.
It didn’t feel like I was underwater, that my limbs were fighting the pressure trying to drown me. I felt like I was finally able to swim.
“The guests of honor!” Drew yells, holding bundled-up Lennon on her hip, one of Emmett’s arm around them, the other holding something behind his back, something I asked him to bring for me as a surprise for Annie.
Mia and Eddie are finishing up taping a big red banner, Eddie pulling a pair of scissors from his back pocket for me to cut as our official opening, and I can’t believe we actually did it, that I actually did it.
The place is done, ready to open for business, and it’s mine.
Not my dad’s, not what I think he wanted or what would have made him proud—it’s mine.
I walk Annie and me up to the door, all of our friends knowing the name of the coffee shop, and the reasoning behind it, Annie being the only one still in the dark.
“I haven’t had a chance to say congratulations,” I say to Eddie and Mia. Annie told me a few days ago that Mia was pregnant, but I kept it to myself that I’ve had a strong feeling since Halloween.
“Thanks, man,” Eddie says, from where he’s standing behind Mia, his arms wrapped around her. I give Mia a little wink, gaining a smile and shake of the head from her, both of us keeping the fact that I already knew a secret for the two of us.
“Are we going to get this show on the road or what?” Annie says, my hands still over her eyes.
“So impatient, Annie girl,” I tease, warranting chuckles from our friends, even Emmett.
“I’ll show you impatient when I break your fingers,” she says through her teeth, but the sentiment is quickly forgotten when I uncover her eyes and she sees the fresh vinyl on the door with the name of my— our —coffee shop.
In all honesty, anything that’s mine is already hers.
She brings her hand to cover her mouth, the Hey Honey Coffee and Co. logo, beautifully designed by Mia, was the perfect final touch to the coffee shop. The bold letters are surrounded by a wreath of roses with little bees flying around them. Under the logo, the words in vinyl go straight to my chest. “Est. December 14”—Bennett’s birthday.
It took me a long time to figure out who I was when I wasn’t out there trying to impress the father who never cared much about my success to begin with, especially if it didn’t benefit him. It took me an even longer time to realize that I didn’t need him to be proud of me for me to be proud of myself.
Since high school, since giving up the hockey scholarship, I haven’t made many decisions that were for me and my future.
Today changes that. Today marks the day where I am proud of myself, and how I got here, with the people who support me at my side—those who got in the way nowhere to be seen.
“What did I say about calling me ‘honey’?” Annie asks, but the emotion in her voice is impossible for her to hide .
“What can I say? You’re just too sweet,” I reply, echoing my words from months ago, the words even truer now than they were then.
I knew naming this place after Annie was what I wanted to do because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her.
Without her and my brothers, I don’t know where I would be.
I put my hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face me, and I will never get over how absolutely breathtaking she is. Her long brown waves, her big brown eyes, her cherry red lips—all mine.
“Thank you for loving me, Annie girl. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be loved by someone like you. Growing up with you, watching you blossom into the beautiful person you are today, getting to live life with you, I truly am the luckiest man alive.”
I place my hands on either side of her face, drowning in those eyes, watching them glisten as she listens to my words.
“You have been here for me through the hardest time in my life, and I plan on spending the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am for you. Life doesn’t always give us second chances, so there’s no way I’m letting you go this time. You’re it for me, Annie girl. You’re the fire that burns inside me, my better half, the reason I wanted to become a man like my brother, one that would make you proud.”
I reach out to Emmett, his hand coming out from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of roses, one for all twenty years I have loved Annie. I hold them to her, a small gasp escaping her lips. “I have loved you since the moment I saw you, the love only growing as you let me be a part of your life. I couldn’t have done this without you, honey.”
A tear slips down her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb. She’s wearing a small smile on her face, one that makes the smile on mine grow even wider. “I love you more,” she says. The emotion in her voice makes my heart feel heavy—I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing her say she loves me, not after waiting for so many years to hear it. “More than you’ll ever know,” she adds.
“Is that so?” I hum, never backing away from one of Annie’s challenges. “I guess you’ll just have to show me then.”
She rolls her eyes, but her arms wrap around my neck. “You wish,” she teases before her lips crash into mine, and it feels like coming home.