Chapter Twenty-Eight
DANGER
Mid-May
My voice is breathy as I sing to the packed-out Tokyo Dome in the heart of Japan.
We’ve been on tour for a while now, and I’ve noticed my voice is becoming breathier over the last week, but I’ve put it down to wear and tear.
However, as I sing the final lyrics to “Hold Your Breath,” my throat hurts tonight.
I’m glad this concert is coming to an end because I’m not sure how much longer I can keep singing, which is concerning as I belt out the final chorus, and my throat tickles.
I want to cough, but I hold it back and take a breath between words to regain my focus.
I don’t know what the fuck’s going on, but I need to figure it out.
I sing the song’s final line, and the beat drops before the crowd erupts. I obviously haven’t disappointed them. Even though I can tell my voice is off.
Before stepping back to the mic, I lean down, grab my water bottle, and swiftly gulp half its contents in one swig.
“Thank you, Tokyo, we’re Recoil, and you’ve been fucking amazing. Goodnight!” I call out, noticing the dry huskiness of my voice.
Ryan and Matt continue to wave, lapping up the attention as I rush off stage.
I need to get my throat feeling better because we’re not even halfway through this tour, and if my voice gives out now, we’re screwed.
Jogging down the stairs, my feet are heavy when they stomp against the cold black metal beneath me.
I gulp down the water as fast as I can, trying to alleviate the persistent dull, aching itch.
Lunar is quickly by my side, and she touches my arm with a comforting gesture, looking at me with a worried stare. “You okay?”
“Why? Did I sound like shit?” I ask with clear concern.
She winces and shakes her head slowly. “No. You sounded amazing, but you don’t look yourself. Something’s up.”
“I’m fine,” I reply and shrug out of her grip to step away.
I don’t want to tell her I’m freaking the fuck out.
I don’t want to freak her out.
And above all, I don’t want to show any signs of weakness.
With quick steps, I storm away, leaving Lunar standing there.
My feet take me to the green room as the tepid liquid from the water bottle does nothing to soothe my scratchy throat.
Making my way to the dresser mirror, I open my mouth, trying to look down my throat to see if I can see anything.
The effort is futile. One—the room is dimly lit, and I can’t see shit.
And two—I’m not a doctor, so I don’t even know what I’m looking for.
A presence to my side alerts me that someone’s watching, and I turn with my tongue still halfway out of my mouth to Ryan, smirking.
I stop, stand up straight, and take another gulp of my water like I wasn’t just being a weirdo in front of a mirror in a room by myself as he continues to smirk while tilting his head.
“You ogling yourself in the mirror again?” he teases, walking into the room further.
I roll my eyes and throw my now-empty water bottle at him. It smacks his shoulder and tumbles to the floor.
“No! But I do think I’m getting sick.”
Ryan steps back, putting his fingers up in an X sign. “Then stay the fuck away from me. And rest. That voice… we need it.”
“I know, we’re finally making it. Our shows are huge, the fans are great, and now I go and get whatever the fuck this is…” I swipe my fingers through my hair. “What a damn joke.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Tell Luke. I’m sure he’ll get someone to fix you right up.”
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go find him.” I head out the door in search of our agent.
I need to nip whatever this is in the bud.
It doesn’t take me long to find him. He’s talking to the roadies who are packing up after the show. Stepping over to him, I clear my throat, trying to remove the niggle.
Luke hears me and turns. “Danger, you killed it tonight. But I can tell you’re getting tired, so I need you to rest. I know having Lunar around is, well, fun, but you guys need to take it easy so you can be at your best.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and we start to walk.
“Now, I’m not saying you’re not at your best, but I noticed you straining a little near the end of the concert.
I don’t think anyone else noticed. No one has said anything, but I know you, and I know when something’s up. ”
“Yeah, that’s why I came to find you,” I say, my voice is hoarse and breathy.
Luke looks at me and wrinkles his brow. “I don’t like how your voice sounds right now, Danger.”
“That’s why I’m here. I think I’m getting something. My throat’s dry, scratchy, and sore. Is there something we can do to get this shit taken care of?”
“Shit, Danger! Now’s not the time to be getting sick. But yes, I’ll send someone to get some herbal shit for you. Rest that voice in the meantime, you have another show tomorrow, and it’s sold out. You need to be on your game.”
I break free from Luke’s grip and head toward the green room, fucking furious that this is even happening.
My head hangs low as I thrust my hands into my jeans pockets and walk through the open green room door.
Laughter echoes across the room, and I am met with the sight of Lunar and Ryan playfully wrestling over a bottle of something.
He’s attempting to snatch it from her, tickling her in the process, while I simmer with irritation.
Their fun only fuels my aggravation, and I glare, resentful that they are oblivious to my inner turmoil.
“Is everything a fucking joke to you two?” I call out.
They stop and turn, their brows furrowing in concern before I turn around to storm out, consumed by anger too intense to endure this shit any longer.
“Danger,” Lunar calls out, her voice full of concern.
I don’t care.
I step out into the hall and start walking. Where I’m going, I have no idea, but I hear Lunar continuing to call my name. Her light footsteps don’t go unnoticed as she catches up to me. She reaches out, grabs my arm, pulls me to a stop, and turns me to face her. “Hey! Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is I feel like shit, and no one seems to fucking care.” My voice becomes breathier with each word.
Lunar screws up her face, oblivious to what’s going on inside my mind. I know I’m being unfair, but I cannot suppress the words spilling unchecked.
“What are you talking about, Danger? Of course, I care. But I have no idea what’s wrong because you keep storming off. What happened to honest and open communication between us? Remember?”
I frown. “Fuck… sorry!” I say the word, but it doesn’t carry much meaning. “I just hate that the band is finally getting somewhere, and I might screw this up… yet again.”
Her eyes widen in disbelief. “What? Why?”
“My throat, Lunar, it’s my instrument. I can’t afford for anything to be wrong with it.”
“Okay, but what are you talking about? You said you were fine just thirty minutes ago.”
I slump my shoulders, knowing she has no idea what’s wrong. “I’m hoping it’s just a cold,” I admit, trying to downplay my growing anxiety. “Luke is getting help. But this… it feels different, and I’m worried. I’ve never felt my throat like this before.”
She chews on her bottom lip and wraps her arm around my waist. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the penthouse.”
I can’t think of anything I want more, so I slide my arm around her shoulders, pulling her to me, and lean in, kissing her hair.
We walk toward the exit where Ryan, Nate, and Matt are already heading.
Kane is by the door with the new security detail, and we all make our way to the car and hop in without any hassles.
The car trip is silent, and my throat is still begging for some sort of soother.
I’m hoping that by tomorrow, with some rest, it will be much better.
We arrive at the hotel, and upon walking inside our room, Lunar and I spot a basket placed on the cabinet.
She steps up to it and smiles. “It’s all remedies for your throat, babe.”
I walk up behind her, wrap my arms around her waist, and peer over her shoulder at the cough medicine, throat lozenges, and a steam inhalation kit. Reaching forward, I grab the packet of lozenges and pop one out to help numb my throat. Lunar pulls out the steam kit and sets it up for me.
She’s so fucking good to me and deserves a far better man than I can ever be for her.
I treated her like crap tonight because I was worried about myself, and that says more about me than it does her.
“Thank you,” I say, sitting on the edge of the bed.
She turns to me. “What for?”
“For being here, no matter what or how much of an asshole I am to you.”
She smiles while walking over to me, grips each of my shoulders, and stares into my eyes. “I’m your girl. I knew something was wrong, but I also knew you’d come to me when you were ready. I’m glad I can be here to help you now. Just know, Danger, I’m on your side. Always.”
I move my head to the side and kiss her hand on my shoulder.
She smiles, turns, and continues with the steam kit, moving about to get it ready.
“Don’t worry, Danger, this cold won’t even have time to come to the surface.
We’re going to eradicate it before it even starts.
You’ll see.” She winks at me and then turns on the steam kit.
The white vapor instantly fills the room.
Yeah, I really am one lucky sonofabitch.