Chapter Twenty-Nine
DANGER
After using the steam kit and consuming lozenges like they were going out of fashion, Lunar and I went to bed. I was restless, uncomfortable, and my mind wouldn’t shut down.
Now I’m lying in bed with Lunar in my arms. This woman is my saving grace. If she weren’t here, I would have gone stir-crazy last night.
My fingers trail lightly up and down her arm, and she wakes slightly, her hand shifting up my torso, coming to rest on my left pec.
She takes a deep breath and looks up at me with beautiful, sleepy eyes.
My hand gently caresses her cheek as she smiles at me and rests her chin on my chest. “Morning, rock star.”
“Morning,” I reply, but we furrow our brows when my voice comes out cracked, breathy, and one hundred percent worse than last night.
She winces.
I tense at the broken sound.
This is not the voice of a lead singer.
This is the voice of a man in trouble.
“Shit! Sounds like the steam kit didn’t work.” She touches my forehead to feel my temperature, but I know I don’t have one.
“I don’t think anything will work,” I murmur, anger surging through me. My free hand slams against the mattress in annoyance. “Dammit!”
Lunar sits up slightly. “It’s okay. Don’t talk. You’ll be fine for tonight, I know you will.”
I don’t feel sick.
Not at all.
Only my throat hurts, and that’s not a good sign.
I know that if this is a cold, I should at least have some other symptoms.
But I don’t—it’s just a weirdly sore throat.
Getting out of bed, I grab my cell and text Luke, telling him to come to our room and saying I’m worried about my voice and need to talk. I spin back to Lunar, who’s sitting on the bed assessing me, so I take a seat beside her. She rubs my back for comfort, but it gives me none.
We sit in silence because she doesn’t want me to strain my voice. When she doesn’t speak, it effectively stops me from talking.
I know that’s what she’s doing.
I know her well.
Soon, a knock at the penthouse door causes my heart to race, and I stand, walking to the door to open it. I don’t bother saying anything when I let Luke in, waiting for him to follow me inside and then to the bedroom.
“Okay… your silence is deafening, Danger,” Luke declares.
Lunar looks at me. Her terrified eyes don’t help as I flare my nostrils. “His voice is really hoarse this morning. I told him not to talk if possible.”
I shift my somber gaze to Luke, and he shakes his head. “Okay, so you have a virus. We take you to a doctor and—”
I grab a pen and paper, which makes Luke stop mid-sentence to write one simple word. My hand shakes as I scribble the word on the page. Luke exhales when I hesitate, but then I hold it up for him to see.
His eyes open wide, and he rubs the back of his neck. “Shit,” his voice is low, but I hear it.
“What? What’s it say?” Lunar asks.
“Nodes,” Luke tells her. “I thought you had cold symptoms?”
Shaking my head, I know what I’ve written is the most likely scenario.
Lunar snaps her head from me to Luke. “What’s happening right now?” There’s clear panic in her tone.
“Danger thinks there’s a problem with his vocal cords. It could be a node, a polyp, or a burst vocal cord. Either way, we need to go to the doctor. Now.”
Lunar’s eyes meet mine, and they glisten with the threat of tears. It’s enough to make my stomach roll with nausea, so I fall back onto the bed in defeat.
“So what does this mean?” she inquires.
“My career is over,” I rasp out.
Lunar remains silent. Her lack of reaction speaks volumes.
“Not necessarily. Let’s get a diagnosis first, then we will figure out the next steps.
Get dressed. I’ll find the best ENT specialist in Tokyo.
” Luke turns, exiting the room. I know his quick departure is only because it’s his innate need to try to fix the problem.
But all it does is leave an ominous silence of impending disaster.
With the closing of the door, Lunar scrambles over the sheets to get to me, throwing herself at my body in a tight embrace. She leans in, kissing my cheek, and I can’t do anything in return.
I’m numb.
The realization that everything is crashing down around me is too much.
Right now, I need to sit here and let the chaos swirl around me as I retreat into detachment.
And this is how we remain on the bed for a little over fifteen minutes.
Finally, I muster the strength to turn and look at Lunar. A flicker of apprehension in my eyes causes them to narrow, and my brows furrow deeply in a frown.
This could be the end of Recoil.
This could be the end of everything!
“Wh-what if I can’t sing again?” I finally find the strength to whisper, even though it’s breathy.
She gently runs her hands down my arms, seeking to offer me reassurance and comfort.
It doesn’t work.
Nothing will.
“Hey, that’s not gonna happen. Let’s wait for Luke to come back with a doctor’s appointment, and we’ll take this one step at a time. We need a diagnosis first.”
“It’s not a fucking sobriety test, Lunar. It’s not a step-by-step process. Either I’m going to lose my voice, or I fucking won’t.”
She inhales slowly, slumping her shoulders. “Okay, I get you’re angry. I would be too. But right now, try not to use your voice and calm down.”
My anger bubbles, and I can’t hold it in. “Calm down? Calm down! This is my life. My livelihood, Lunar. If you don’t get that, then you’re dumber than you look.”
She jolts back. “Excuse me?” she scolds as she stands, her brows creasing together, her hands on her hips, making her gorgeous breasts pop out.
But I don’t let them distract me from my pity party. “Don’t make this out to not be a big deal. This is huge, Lunar.”
“Obviously! I’m just not smart enough to know that, am I? God, I know you’re a scared little man right now, but you don’t have to be a fucking cunt about it.”
“Don’t say that word, Lunar. It’s not pleasant coming from a woman.”
She raises her brow and stands taller. “What! Just ’cause I’m a woman, I’m not allowed to say cunt now? Well… cunt, cunt, CUNT! You, Danger, are a cunt, and I’ll top that off with a side of cunt. How’d you like that?” she blurts out, throwing her hands in the air in her frustration.
Groaning, I stand and pace the floor. “I don’t want to argue with you. I don’t have the voice for it or the will right now.”
“Fine! Then I will save you the trouble and leave. Let you sulk on your own. Have a good time at the doctors. Just so you know, I would’ve been there for you, holding your hand.
But now, you can fucking go on your own, you selfish prick.
” She turns, storming toward the door, grabbing her bag on the way out.
The door slams with the force of a herd of elephants, and I cringe at the sound as I blow out a puff of air in annoyance.
I didn’t need to treat her like that.
I am a selfish prick.
Maybe even a damn cunt.
Saying she looked dumb was fucking low and completely not true. Lashing out at Lunar because I’m hurting is a dick move. One I’ll need to rectify when I get back, once I know my outlook and future.
Moving back to the edge of the bed, I sit down just as my cell alerts me to a message.
Luke: Come downstairs. A car is waiting to take you to the doctor.
Exhaling, I stand and get dressed before slowly making my way to the foyer.
The car is already there, and I step up to it.
Kane opens the door, and I slide in to see Luke and Lunar in the vehicle.
I tense slightly, looking at Lunar, then sigh, sliding over to her.
She spins away from me slightly, which I expected, and as she turns, her nose goes up into the air in a sign of stubborn aggravation.
“Thank you for coming,” I rasp out through a hoarse-sounding breath.
She shifts further from me and sniffles like she’s trying not to cry. “I’m only here ’cause Luke asked me to be.”
I’ve obviously hurt her, and I feel like a complete asshole.
I need to fix this.
“I’m glad he did, because I’m a selfish prick.”
She turns, a small glint in her eyes as she half-smiles at me. “Yes… you… are.”
“You’re not dumb, and you never will be…
” I hesitate, but we swore open and honest communication.
So here goes, “I’m scared. Fucking terrified.
And so I lashed out at you, and I shouldn’t have.
You hurt the ones you care about the most. It was a dick move.
I never want to fucking hurt you, Lunar.
You mean too much to me. So, please forgive me? ”
She smiles, placing her hand on mine, sending a wave of warmth through to my very soul. “I know this is scary, but talk to me. I’m your support, not your enemy. Don’t push me away, Danger.”
Nodding, I feel my stomach knotting as I lace my fingers with hers.
“I have a real bad track record with relationships, you know that. I fuck them up. It’s not an excuse, just the truth.
I don’t want to fuck us up, Lunar. I don’t mean to push you away.
It’s just my go-to when I don’t know how to cope. ”
Lunar turns, shaking her head. “Stop! We’re in this together. You and me, we’re not like your past relationships. You have a chance to do things differently this time. But it’s up to you if you want to try. I’m going to put in the effort, but you have to meet me halfway, big guy.”
Weakly smiling, I bring my hand up, cupping her cheek. “I don’t deserve you.”
She chuckles. “You absolutely don’t. So why don’t you try to be a man worthy of me?”
Luke smirks on the other side of the car.
“I’m going to rise to that challenge, baby.”
Lunar’s smile shines so fucking bright it’s almost blinding as I lean in to kiss her, but before my lips touch hers, her hands pause on my chest, halting me.
I raise my brow, looking into her eyes. “If you ever, and I mean ever, talk to me or treat me like that again, it won’t be your throat you have to worry about. Do I make myself clear?”
Smirking at this bossy side of her, I nod in complete understanding. “Absolutely.”