CHAPTER 32 Liam Bradley
Dolorabella
It’s been two weeks since I last saw Penny. Two weeks since I’ve heard her voice. Two weeks where I haven’t stopped thinking about her.
Okay, in truth, it’s been longer than two weeks since I haven’t stopped thinking about her. Two months, nearly.
I’m not sleeping. I stare up at the ceiling as I try to figure out how to make this better.
I’m back and forth on whether I should call her once her divorce is final.
But who knows how much time might pass between now and then?
Maybe she’ll move on, and if she does, I refuse to interrupt that process for her.
I’m forcing myself to focus on football. I meet Tanner for workouts. I go out with Clay. I immerse myself in life here in San Diego even though everything reminds me of her.
A little bookshop by the beach she would love.
A beautiful sunset over the water that I wish I could share with her.
Eating at the hotel restaurant. Looking at that house on the hill with the white kitchen counters one more time.
Madden calls as I’m debating whether to accept Clay’s invitation to go to a club tonight, and I pick up.
“Hey, Madden.”
“You sound tired,” he says.
“I am.”
“Good. Keep working out. I’m just calling around with the latest on Dad’s trial.”
“Hit me with it.”
“The judge granted another continuance because of a jury member.”
I scrub a hand down my jaw. “Fuck. This is really getting dragged out.”
“They said our date won’t change since Archer’s schedule is so tight. I talked to his lawyers, and they’re going to try to plant doubt that he did it.”
“Thanks for the update.”
“Any time. Just making the rounds with everyone,” he says, hinting that he needs to get off the phone so he can make his next call.
“Hey, if I send you a house I’m looking at here in town, can you tell me if it’s in a good area?”
“I can tell you not only if it’s in a good area but if it was built by a reputable builder and what you can expect,” he says.
“Great. I’ll send it over.”
We hang up, and I copy the link and shoot it over to my brother.
I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but Madden replies right away that it’s a good find, and it’s big enough that Ivy can stay with me to help me with the baby.
I call my real estate agent and tell him I want to put in an offer.
And then I wait.
I don’t wait long, however, because early the next morning, my phone rings bright and early to wake me up.
Only it’s not my realtor.
It’s Izzy.
“Iz?” I answer.
“I think my water just broke.”
“Shit. I’m in San Diego. I’ll get there as fast as I can.”
“Hurry, Liam.” She sounds scared, and you know what?
So the fuck am I.
I throw everything I have in my duffel except for a pair of shorts and a shirt, which I put on, and I check out of the hotel.
I call an Uber and book it for the airport.
The next flight heading to Chicago takes off in forty-five minutes, and I reserve a seat while I’m in the car on the way to the airport.
I speed through security, and the flight is already boarding as I rush toward the gate. I’m in coach, but at least I’ll be on a flight.
I nod to the middle seat, and the woman in her seventies buckled into her seat on the aisle unbuckles and stands to let me in. The man by the window is about as tall as me, but a bit bulkier, and I can tell we’re going to be fighting over the armrest for the next four hours.
I text Izzy.
Me: I’m on my way. Flight gets in at 12:47. Which hospital are you at?
Izzy: Northwestern.
Me: Are you okay?
Izzy: Scared.
Me: Me too.
I pull up my text chain with Penny, and I think about texting her.
I even draft one out.
Izzy’s in labor.
I delete it.
I miss you.
I delete that one, too.
My earbuds are tucked away in my duffel up in the overhead bin, and I don’t want to bother the elderly woman in the seat beside me. I tuck my phone into the seatback pocket, fold my arms over my chest since there’s no way the dude to my left is giving up the armrest, and close my eyes.
The lull of the airplane mixed with the white noise must put me to sleep, and it’s a damn good thing since I haven’t slept in two weeks and I hear I won’t be sleeping much with a newborn.
When the plane touches down, I’m jolted awake. I check my phone, and I don’t have anything from Izzy. I text her first.
Me: Landed.
I text Ivy next.
Me: Hey, Izzy is in labor. I just landed in Chicago. Are you in town?
Ivy: I’m actually in Vegas visiting Ainsley, and I’m heading to San Diego from here. Let me know how everything goes!
I suddenly feel very alone. I sort of thought Ivy was going to help me out, but maybe she just meant in San Diego, once we’re both there. Can I even travel to San Diego with a newborn?
Fucking fuck. I don’t know how any of this works, and I’m fucking terrified.
I want to call Penny. She’s the one person who would know the answers.
And she’s the one person I let go.
I text Madden next.
Me: Hey, Izzy is in labor. I just landed in Chicago. Are you still here in town?
Madden: Yes, wouldn’t miss the trial.
Me: Right. Thank you for that, by the way. Do you think you can help me?
Madden: I know as much about babies as you do.
Me: But you’re the oldest. Surely you had to, like, change one of our diapers or something.
Madden: Yeah, no. The nannies always did that. I can help you find a nanny if you want?
I wish I could talk to Penny about all of this.
I text Dolores next, and I just copy the same text for a third time.
Me: Hey, Izzy is in labor. I just landed in Chicago. Are you around?
Dolores: I’m always around for my favorite football player.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
It suddenly feels like everything’s going to be okay…even though this hole in my heart doesn’t seem to be closing up at all.
I race to the hospital and realize I don’t even know Izzy’s last name when the security guard at the front asks me for it.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I just…she’s having my kid.” The security guard looks at me like I’m the one who might need to be admitted.
I text her.
Me: I’m here at the hospital. I need your last name and room number.
The text doesn’t come through immediately, but it’s quick enough.
Izzy: Isabella Johnston. Labor room 314.
I show the details to security, and they pass me through.
My heart pounds as I race to the room where she’s in labor, and when I arrive…
Well, it’s not quite what I was expecting.
Izzy is lying on her side, and she has an oxygen monitor on her finger and a band around her stomach.
“Sorry I’m late,” I say. I’m totally breathless and panting from running to get here.
“You’re not late. She hasn’t started pushing yet. We’re getting close. Just waiting on things to progress,” the nurse says. “The doctor wants her up walking, and if her contractions don’t get stronger soon, we’ll likely start her on Pitocin to help move her along.”
I have no idea what any of that means, but I walk the halls with Izzy.
“Have you thought about a name?” she asks.
Penelope.
I’m not naming the baby Penelope, but it is my favorite name. Penny. My little lucky Penny.
“I want to see her before I decide.”
“Do you need help deciding?” she asks.
I don’t.
I already know what it’s going to be.
I blow out a breath. She’s carried her this long.
I guess I can tell her. “I wanted to incorporate your name and the name of a woman who has been a guardian angel to me, but I wasn’t sure how to combine Isabella and Dolores.
Dolorabella just didn’t work for me. Neither did Isabores.
And then I got to thinking, my name starts with an L, and it would be cool if the baby’s name also started with an L. ”
Izzy snort laughs, and it’s a reminder of the fun we had the few times we hooked up. “So what did you decide on?”
“Liora Isabella.”
She gasps. “Oh, Liam. That’s beautiful. Li like Liam.”
I nod. “And ora like Dolores. Iz, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve gone through for the baby. I’m forever in your debt for growing her for the last nine months.”
“Eight, really, but yeah. The money will help, and I know she’ll be in good hands with you.
Better hands than I could possibly offer.
Can you just…” She trails off, and she sighs.
“I know this is too much to ask, but can you send me a photo of her on her birthday each year so I know how she’s doing? ”
I reach over and grab her hand in mine. “I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
She presses her lips together, and I realize for the first time that it’s not just going to be hard on me when I take a baby home and have no clue what the fuck to do with it.
It’s going to be hard on Izzy, too. She carried this baby, grew a connection only a mother and child can share, and then…
poof. That’s it. She’s giving her up, giving me the greatest gift a person could possibly conceive of giving to another person.
And while I’m terrified of it all, I also know I’m doing the right thing here.
I’m going to give this baby an amazing life.
I’m going to screw up, for sure. I’m going to learn as I go.
And someday, maybe, I’ll add more siblings to the mix.
I’ll have a whole big, loud family to fill the house with noise and laughter and love.
Someday.
Maybe.
And if it’s just me and baby Liora, then maybe that’s what’s meant to be.