CHAPTER 31 Liam Bradley
Quiet
I hate how quiet my house is.
At four o’clock, it’s usually bursting with energy.
Penny is telling the boys to empty their backpacks and get their homework out, or she’s telling Benji to get his shin guards out of the closet, or she’s reminding Sammy to grab his glove and hat for baseball practice while she makes them snacks in the kitchen.
Today, it’s just me and silence.
I don’t know where Penny went when she left.
I hope and pray not back to Brent’s house.
I know it’s not back to Brent’s house. She’s smarter than that.
She probably didn’t ask Everleigh if she could stay at her place a while since then she’d have to come clean about us.
Maybe her mom’s, but I know it’s too small for the three of them and it would just be a temporary situation.
I should’ve pushed harder to have her stay here.
I hate that she felt like she had to leave, but I also get it.
It would be as awkward for her to stay here as it would have been for her to stay at Brent’s place. I don’t blame her for leaving, but I wish she hadn’t.
What choice did we have, though?
We could’ve tried. We could’ve come clean to Everleigh. I wonder if that would’ve saved anything. I guess Penny not wanting to was maybe the first clue that we were heading toward the end.
The second was Brent’s words about how easy I’m making this for him.
Fuck that son of a bitch. I won’t let him win, and if staying away from Penny for the duration of the trial is one way to help her case, well, then that’s what I decided to do.
Maybe we’ll find our way back to each other afterward, but somehow I doubt it. I never said it was my intention to try, and I’m not even sure if it is. Maybe a clean break is easier for both of us as I start a new life in a new town with a new baby.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that telling her to move to be with me was both a plea of desperation and probably something she never wanted to do.
But then why did she ask the judge if she could move to California?
She has options. She could work for Everleigh.
She could follow her dreams and do whatever she wants.
But she’s tied to Chicago because of Brent, and as I prepare myself to become a father, I can’t help but think about how lucky I am that Izzy is willing to give me our baby.
I’m nervous. I don’t know how to take care of a child.
I’ve never changed a diaper. Hell, I’m the second youngest in my rather large family of siblings.
I never really even took care of a kid younger than me…
until Penny moved in. Until I fell for her kids in a totally unexpected way when I saw how they were an extension of her.
Until I fell harder for her, seeing her in the role of mother, seeing her as a businesswoman, seeing the way she clutched the sheets as she moaned underneath me.
Fuck.
I really fucked it all up, and my thoughts are absolutely uselessly circular at the moment as I circle back to the fact that I fucked it up, but I didn’t see any other choice.
I did it because I love her. I did it because I wanted to protect her and her kids.
I did it to protect my family from more scandal.
I finish my bottle of beer and line it up beside the others.
I grab another from the fridge, pop the cap, and settle back in at my seat at the kitchen table.
It’s Benji’s seat, the one he claimed when he lived here.
It has the best view of the television, and Sammy fought him for it, but when Sammy kicked his little brother during the fight, the little brother won.
Maybe I have a soft spot in my heart for little Ben since I was the little brother who got kicked and pushed around by his four older brothers. They weren’t bullies, to be fair. It was typical big brother stuff, the kind of shit almost all of them try to get away with and usually probably do.
But honestly, I have a soft spot for Sammy, too. The way he looks out for his little brother—but only when he thinks nobody’s looking. The jokes he cracks. The way he’s just a natural leader.
I stick my feet up on the table and cross them at the ankles as I tip my bottle back. I think about how Penny would scold the boys for sitting like this, and I very nearly take my feet down just at the thought of it.
But I’m half-drunk, half-depressed, and half-sure I did the wrong thing.
The silence roars still louder when I get a call from the front desk letting me know that someone is here to pack up Penny’s personal items.
“Send them up,” I mutter.
It’s a small crew of a few men, and I direct them to the correct rooms as I help them pack. I tell them to pack up all the Lego sets. What the fuck am I going to do with them?
If she’s staying at her mom’s place, there won’t be room for all of it.
“I’d like to take care of your fee,” I tell the dude who seems to be the lead.
“It’s already paid for,” he says.
I wonder who paid for it. It’s a small crew and not that much stuff, but it would still set Penny back a few hundred bucks. It feels like something Everleigh would do to help her best friend. She’s the one who told me where Penny’s been staying.
“Refund the original form of payment. I’ll pay you double.”
“Whatever you say, man.”
I call Dolores, and she picks up right away.
“Everything okay, Liam?”
“Yes. I need your help renting a storage garage for Penny’s extra things just in case she moved in with her mom,” I say.
“What did you do?” she demands.
I sigh. “Don’t make me rehash it.” Even I hear the pain in my own voice.
“Oh, Liam. There’s a place not far from the boys’ school. Does that work?”
“Yeah.” I press my lips together and stare out at my view.
“I’ll go now. Okay?”
“Great. Thanks.”
I stall with the moving crew, and Dolores arrives in time. I hand them the paperwork and the key. “This belongs to Penny, too,” I tell them.
And then they leave. Dolores leaves. I’m all alone again.
I stand in the doorway of the boys’ room.
It’s empty except for the furniture. Two loft beds meant to be shared by brothers are empty now.
I move next door to Penny’s room and stand in the doorway there. It’s empty, too. I even sent the sheets and blankets with the moving company. The thought of smelling her on them felt too overwhelming.
It’s a little after nine o’clock when my phone rings.
I see it’s Penny calling, and I actually hesitate a moment. I’ve been drinking, and I’m not sure picking up is the best idea.
I do anyway.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Thank you.” Her voice is quiet, but it feels good to hear it.
“You’re welcome.”
Neither of us says anything for a few awkward beats.
“Where are you staying?” I finally ask.
“My mom’s.”
“I figured. It’s why I got you the storage unit. You’re welcome to stay here.”
“I know.”
More awkward silence.
“Okay,” I say.
She clears her throat, and I think she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah,” she murmurs. “Bye.”
My phone beeps at me, indicating the call has ended, but I can’t find the energy to lower the phone from my ear for a while.
Eventually I do, but only so I can change my flight for Sunday to tomorrow. I need to get the hell out of here.
And as I’m rebooking my flight, my phone rings.
I glance at the top of the screen to see who’s daring to interrupt my task.
Everleigh Bradley.
I sigh, and I pick up. Reluctantly. It might be an update or a question on Dad’s trial, and as much as I’d like to ignore my sister, I can’t.
“Hey,” I answer.
“What did you do to her?” she whispers.
“To whom?” I pretend like I don’t know what she’s talking about.
“Pen told me everything.”
“Then you already know the answer to your question.”
She huffs out a frustrated sigh. “She fell in love with you, you big dummy.”
I’m quiet a long time before I admit, “I fell for her, too.”
“Then what the hell are you doing?”
“Protecting her and the boys. Protecting our family. It’s too much drama, too much scandal.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s a stupid reason to end it with her,” she says.
“Thanks for your unsolicited opinion.”
“I’m serious, Liam. I love you, but you do this. You put the family first, which is great. It’s noble, and it’s brave, and it’s amazing. But not when it’s at such a high cost to you.”
“You didn’t seem to care that it was a high personal cost when it suited you. When I was busting my ass getting back and forth from Pittsburgh just because I was the only one still based in Chicago when Mom was sick or when Dad was arrested.”
“You weren’t hurting my best friend when you were doing that,” she points out.
“Yeah, well, I’m hurting, too. And having my sister call me a dummy isn’t exactly helping.”
“Then fix it,” she suggests.
“I can’t. You might’ve forgotten, but I have a new team to play for in San Diego. I’m moving, and I’m going there tomorrow to get the hell out of this town and away from this house that holds so many goddamn good memories of her and her kids. I’m staying out of her way until her divorce is final.”
“And then?” she pushes.
“And then…I don’t know. I’ll be at training camp, or in season, and she’ll be here.” I shrug even though I’m on the phone. “So I guess we had some fun, and now it’s done.”
“You can’t really believe that.”
“Maybe you don’t, Ev. But yeah. That’s reality. I gotta go.” I hang up, and then I start packing since I’m skipping town early in the morning.