CHAPTER 30 Penny Calloway
I Fell in Love
So…I’m just supposed to go back to work and pretend like Liam Freaking Bradley didn’t just rip my heart out, stomp on it for good measure, and hand it back to me to put it back together?
Right.
No.
I text my boss.
Me: I think I ate something bad at lunch. I need to take the afternoon off.
I can’t believe this.
I can’t believe Liam would be such a coward to not even give this a real shot with me. To fight with me. Instead, he’s simply giving up, and I’m just supposed to accept that this is over so I can win against Brent.
What good does it do me to win if it means I don’t get to celebrate the victory with Liam? I mean…a win is the judge telling me I can move to San Diego, but now I can’t seem to figure out why the hell I would possibly move there.
I sit in my car in the parking garage as I try to figure out where to go. What to do.
I walked out after I called him a giant coward. I wanted to say more, but the tears were stinging behind my eyes, and I wasn’t going to cry in front of him.
Haven’t I lost enough over the last year?
Good God, it’s been one hit after another.
I think about calling Everleigh. After all, it was her who I turned to when I found out Brent was cheating.
I escaped to Las Vegas with the boys for a few days while the media coverage blew over.
He’s not famous or anything, but he is a local realtor with his face plastered all over city buses, billboards, and park benches.
Everyone knows his jingle from the radio.
“Stop paying too much rent. To buy a house, you gotta call Brent.”
He was so goddamn proud of that jingle when he paid an exorbitant fee to a marketing company to write it for him.
I always thought it sucked, and I’m in freaking marketing.
It should’ve sent a silent signal to me that he didn’t use Langford to write his jingle, but Langford also would never have slapped his face all over the city because what if he were caught doing something inappropriate like making out with some chick with huge tits that wasn’t his wife at a basketball game on the Jumbotron?
Right.
Anyway.
I can’t turn to Everleigh this time.
And so I fight back tears like I have so many freaking times over the last few months, and I put the car in drive until I end up at my mom’s house.
I sit in the driveway and stare at the front door. I can’t seem to make myself move out of the car.
My mom is the best. We’ve always been close, even more so after my dad died right before Sammy was born. It’s been eight years. Hard to believe.
I realize I haven’t seen her as much as usual since we moved into Liam’s place. It’s a little further from my mom’s house, and with the divorce and everything else going on, things have been busy, to say the least.
My mom sold the house they’d shared and moved into this little place. It was what she could afford to buy with the profit she made from the sale of their bigger home, but it’s tiny. Still, it’s hers, and she’s very proud of it.
And now I’m about to ask the unthinkable.
It’s silly. I’m sure I have other options. I’m sure Everleigh would give me a place to stay.
But that would mean admitting the truth to her that I fell for her little brother.
And now that it’s over, I’m even less inclined to clue her in.
I finally force myself out of the car, and it’s one step at a time toward the front door. I ring the bell. I wait for her to answer. And I fall into her arms as the dam finally bursts clean open.
“What is it, my Lucky Penny? Are the boys okay?” she asks, holding me tightly despite my lack of any sort of information regarding why I’m falling apart.
“They’re fine,” I manage to gasp.
“Then everything will be okay,” she says. “Come on in. Let’s get you some tea.”
Tea is her answer to everything.
She makes me a cup as I slide into a chair at her kitchen table, steeping the old classic lemon zinger in hot water with a spoonful of sugar just like she did for me when I was a kid.
After she sets the steaming mug in front of me and I’ve calmed down enough to be able to form sentences, she sits across from me. “Talk to me, Penelope.”
I sniffle, and she reaches for the box of tissues on the counter and sets it beside me.
“Well, I went and fell for Liam Bradley, and he just ended things with me because of freaking Brent.”
“Oh, honey,” she says, patting my hand. “Wait…you fell for him? I thought you were just staying with him.”
“I was. Well, sort of. It’s complicated. We had a night, and neither of us could get past it. He offered me a place to stay so I didn’t have to live with Brent, and things just sort of happened.” I shrug.
“So why did he end it because of Brent?” she asks.
“He has a baby on the way with another woman. He thinks Brent is going to use that against us in court, that we won’t be able to provide stability for the boys with a newborn.”
Her brows dip together. “That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s what I tried to tell him, but his mind was made up. His dad is on trial for illegal gambling rings, and it’s just messy. He didn’t want to drag the kids into it.”
She sighs. “He’s so unlike the idiot you’re divorcing.”
I press my lips and tilt my head, doing my best not to roll my eyes even though she’s right. “Yeah. He told me the kids and I could stay at his place, but—”
“I get it, and you know you’re welcome here,” she interrupts. “It’ll be tight, but we’ll manage until you can find a more permanent solution.”
“I wanted San Deigo to be my permanent solution,” I admit.
“San Diego?”
I draw in a shuddering breath. “I asked the judge if I could relocate. Liam needs help with the baby, and I guess I was willing to give it a try. I was willing to uproot the boys because I thought I could give them more stability there. I was going to tell you to come with us, that we’d find a place for you, but I won’t find out if my request was approved for another month.
And now it doesn’t even matter since he dumped me. ”
“Honey, he didn’t dump you,” she says quietly.
“Sure feels like it.”
“He’s trying to act in everyone’s best interest, and it’s actually quite noble.”
“Or he was looking for a way out,” I mutter.
“That’s your anger and your sadness talking. And I get it. I’ve spent a lot of time being angry and sad. But if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. If it’s not, then you had a good run with him, and you’ll pick up and move on.”
I think about everything she lost when my dad died. She lost the love of her life.
Liam and I haven’t been together that long—certainly not long enough for me to determine whether he was supposed to be the great love of my life.
But it just feels like one hit after another, and he gave me hope when it felt like all hope was lost.
So now what?
I just…move on? Live in the same city as Brent all alone in his huge mansion while I stay in my mother’s eight hundred square foot house with my two rambunctious boys for the majority of the time?
My phone rings, and I see it’s Everleigh calling.
I can’t right now.
I send the call to voicemail.
I focus on my mother’s words. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. She’s said that to me hundreds of times during my life.
We were on a path where I felt like it was meant to be, and suddenly, we’ve veered off course.
I no longer believe it, and I’m left questioning whether it actually is meant to be.
It’s such an easy way to minimize what we had.
What if I don’t believe in fate? What if I don’t think it’s meant to be or not…
what if I believe I want it and I deserve it?
How exactly do I go about getting it if he doesn’t feel the same way?
I think about asking my mom those questions, but she won’t have the answers any more than I will.
So I stew on it, drink my tea, and blow my nose. I pretend everything’s fine.
After all, I have to. I have two little boys to pick up in a few hours, and I have to sell the act as I sit through Benji’s soccer practice and help them with their math facts and read a book to them.
I have to fight off the tears as I explain why we’re staying at Grammy’s house tonight instead of Uncle Liam’s.
And I need from now until then to prepare for it all.
But I don’t get all that time because Everleigh calls again. She hangs up, waits a few minutes, and tries again.
I finally pick up once I’ve composed myself enough to answer. “Hey.” My voice is bright. Too bright. Blindingly, overly bright.
“What’s going on with you and Liam?” she demands.
I blow out a breath. “Nothing.” I pause, and I add, “Anymore. As of about an hour ago.” I look up at the ceiling to try to ward off the tears, but it’s futile.
“Oh, babe,” she whispers. “I had no idea.”
“I know, and I’m so, so sorry.”
“You could’ve told me,” she says gently.
“You were always teasing me that he’s so young, and I felt like I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know what it was anyway, and I didn’t want you to hate me for taking advantage of your brother’s kindness to me.”
“Did you?” she asks.
“No. I fell in love with him,” I admit.
She sighs.
“How’d you find out?” I ask.
“Your ex.”
“That fucker.”
She laughs. “I won’t argue that, and I think he did it maliciously, but I don’t care. I’m sad you two felt like you had to hide it from me.”
I sniffle. “It was your wedding. We didn’t want to overshadow your big day.”
She scoffs. “As if anything could have.”
I can’t help but giggle at that. “You’re right. I’m sorry. He wanted to tell you. It’s my fault.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“Because you’re my best friend, and he’s your younger brother. I guess I just wanted to make sure it was serious before we made it into some big deal.”
“I guess I can understand that even though it still hurts. And by the way, Liam still tried to overshadow my day with the baby news.”
I picture her rolling her eyes.
“The baby news seems to sort of be what ended it. Well, he ended it. About an hour ago. He said he thought Brent would use our relationship in court, and Brent made some snide comment to him about how we’re not offering a stable environment to the kids since I was, quote, shacking up with him when he also knocked up another woman. ”
“How does he know about that?” she asks.
“No clue, but he said he has eyes and ears all over, and honestly, he does. He knows everyone in the city. Could be Izzy, could be someone else at the bar or in Liam’s building.
The news hit headlines anyway, so it's not like it's a big secret. How he found out doesn’t matter to me. The fact is he’s using it against us, and it was enough scare Liam away. ”
“Ugh, Brent. Such a dickwad,” she mutters.
“Seriously. The biggest bag of dicks this side of the Mississippi.”
“This side of the Yucatan,” she agrees.
“This side of the Pacific,” my mom chimes in, and I had no idea she was even listening. Both Everleigh and I giggle.
“Well, babe, if you fell in love with him, then fight to get him back,” Everleigh suggests.
“How? He’s convinced he’s doing the right thing by being noble. He thinks it’s all-around bad press when your family is in the thick of this trial with your dad. Maybe when the divorce is finalized, we can try again,” I say.
“So you’re just…giving up?”
“What choice do I have? He’s moving to San Diego, and I won’t even find out for another month if I have the luxury of deciding to move to another state.”
“Wait…what?” she asks.
“I asked the judge to consider allowing me to relocate for work.”
“Work? What about Langford?” she asks.
“I actually had two job offers. One from you to work remotely, and Liam needs help with the baby. I guess the second one isn’t actually a job offer as much as a help offer.”
“And you’re considering both?” she asks.
“Well, now I’m considering neither, and I’m thankful I’m still at Langford, to be honest,” I say.
“It was impulsive to even consider asking the judge. Liam and I…it was explosive, and it was incredible. And now it’s over.
I was thinking with my emotions, and maybe with my need to hurt Brent, over logic. And you know that’s not me.”
“I know that’s not you,” Everleigh murmurs. “And that’s why I think you should do it.”
“Huh?” I ask. “But I don’t want to be a nanny.”
“Babe, sometimes our best decisions are made when we make them with emotions. All that tells me is that you were following your heart, and that’s something we don’t do enough of.
Maybe I’ll never understand why you’d be attracted to my brother…
but if you fell in love with him before your divorce was even finalized, then it must be something big.
You can’t just let that go, and moving there doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be his nanny.
Maybe you’ll help him find a nanny. He trusts you and your instincts. ”
I hope this is a conversation she’ll have with Liam.
I hope.
But I also know that he’s stubborn, and even if she talks to him, that doesn’t mean he’s going to listen.
Not when he thinks he’s doing the right thing.