39. Leo
Chapter thirty-nine
Leo
Iparked in front of Derricks’s house and shut off the engine.
My hands sat on the steering wheel for a second longer than necessary.
Okay. This was it.
I grabbed the pepper spray from the console and shoved it into my pocket. I don’t care if it’s a bitch move. If he tried to come at me again when I’m just coming to make peace, then I had something for him. Wasn’t going to catch me slipping again.
Moose carefully jumped down from the passenger seat and walked beside me as I made my way up the driveway.
The afternoon sun was still high. Kids were riding bikes down the street. A lawnmower hummed a few houses over.
Completely normal.
Meanwhile, my stomach felt like it was trying to claw its way out of my body.
We reached the front door, and I hesitated.
Let out a long breath, then rang the doorbell.
I looked down at Moose.
“Alright,” I said quietly. “If he attacks me, what do you do?”
Moose looked up at me.
Then slowly lowered himself onto the welcome mat, rolled onto his back, and closed his eyes.
Really?
“Are you seriously playing dead right now?”
Moose didn’t move. Not even a little.
I sighed and looked back at the door.
“Cool. Good to know I’m on my own.”
Footsteps thudded from inside the house.
Then the door swung open.
Derrick stood there—wrinkled shirt, bloodshot eyes, a beer bottle hanging loosely from his hand.
He looked at me.
Then at Moose, still sprawled belly up on his porch.
Then back at me.
“Well,” he said flatly, “look who finally decided to show up.”
“Hey, Derrick.”
He let out a bitter laugh.
“Oh, now it’s hey, Derrick.”
I shifted my weight. “I came to talk.”
“Talk?” he scoffed. “About what? The part where you slept with my ex, or the part where you punched me?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. Yeah… this wasn’t going to be easy.
“I want to talk about all of it.”
Derrick stared at me for a beat, then stepped aside.
“You’ve got five minutes.”
Moose suddenly came back to life, hopped up, and trotted right past him into the house.
I rolled my eyes and followed.
The place smelled like whiskey.
Derrick dropped onto the couch and took another long pull from his beer.
I sat on the opposite end, leaving just enough space between us to keep things from escalating too fast. Moose curled up at my feet like none of this was his problem.
My ears felt hot. My heart was beating like a war drum in my chest.
I cleared my throat. “I need to apologize for how everything went down.”
He didn’t respond.
“Moose needed surgery. I was saving for it when I ran into Cherise. She offered to cover the rest… if I went on the trip and pretended to be you.”
Derrick’s jaw ticked.
“It was a win for both of us,” I continued. “It started off completely platonic. I didn’t plan for anything else to happen.”
“Until you fucked her,” Derrick cut in.
I closed my eyes for a second, inhaling slowly.
“Derrick, I didn’t come here to argue.”
He let out a sharp laugh. “So, what was it? Some sudden attraction? Or were you just sitting back, waiting for your moment?”
“Did you hear anything I just said?” I snapped. “I didn’t go after Cherise. Moose needed that surgery. If I had waited, things could’ve gotten worse for him. This was supposed to be a business deal. That’s it.” I dragged a hand down my face. “I didn’t plan on—”
“What?” he cut in again. “You didn’t plan on falling in love with her? You could have just asked me for the money, but you didn’t. Instead, you ran and cozied up with my ex-girlfriend the first chance you got.”
Silence dropped between us.
Thick. Heavy. Silence.
Derrick leaned back, shaking his head. “That’s rich. The second Cherise needs you, suddenly you’ve got all the time in the world.”
My brows creased. “What are you talking about?”
He took another long drink. “I stopped asking you to show up a long time ago. Invited you everywhere, games, dinners, just to hang out, and you always had some excuse…No one is that damn busy, Leo.”
Nope. We weren’t doing this. He was not about to sit here and twist this into something it wasn’t, like he’d been the one reaching out while I just didn’t care. Like he was the victim here.
I had my reasons.
Derrick ruthlessly teased me every chance he got. I know what you’re thinking. That’s what brothers do. Give each other shit.
But if I am being honest, it wasn’t the whole truth.
And I wasn’t about to unpack years of that right now.
Not when it wouldn’t change anything.
“The only time I could get you near me was if I paid you to fix something around here. I guess you cared more about money than you do your own damn brother,” he added.
That did it.
Something snapped loose in my chest.
“That’s not—” I stopped myself, exhaling hard. No, I wasn’t doing half-truths anymore. “I didn’t come around you because you were always with her.”
Derrick stilled.
“You want the truth?” I said, my voice rough now. “Fine. My feelings for Cherise weren’t random. I’ve had feelings for her since high school.”
His eyes narrowed slightly.
“But she chose you,” I continued. “Just like everyone else. Always you.”
The words came faster now. Years of swallowing them, finally spilling out.
“Mr. Perfect. Star quarterback. Everyone’s favorite.” I let out a bitter breath. “And I got to sit back and watch the girl I loved fall for my brother.”
Derrick didn’t say anything.
“I tried to ignore the feelings I had for her. Tried to forget they ever existed. But every time I saw you with her was like a dagger to my chest,” I said, quieter now. “So yeah… I stopped coming around.”
I looked at him.
“Because that hurt less than watching you be with her. You always got what you wanted. You were the spotlight, and I was always just your shadow.”
Silence.
Derrick just stared at me.
Then he let out a hollow, sharp laugh.
“You think I liked being in the spotlight? That I got everything I ever wanted?” he asked.
I took a look around at his pristine, humongous house. “Um, yeah… I think you did.”
He stood up and shook his head, pacing now, dragging a hand over his head.
“I never wanted any of this,” he snapped.
I froze.
He turned to face me, eyes glassy now.
“I never wanted football. I played because I was good at it,” he continued, his voice shaking. “Because Dad lit up every time I stepped on that field. But I hated it, Leo. I hated every second of it.”
He let out a shaky breath. “But I kept going. Because it made him proud.”
Derrick’s words knocked the air out of me. Because they sounded too familiar to my own. Trying to please others while I suffered. This whole time I had been blinded by my insecurities and setbacks that I didn’t even realize that Derrick was in his own version of hell.
“What about Cherise?” I asked carefully.
Derrick huffed.
“Cherise was perfect,” he said. “Beautiful, smart, captain of the cheer squad…”
He swallowed.
“Exactly the girl I was supposed to be with. You think I chose her because I loved her?” he asked, shaking his head. “I chose her because she fit. I built this whole life that looked perfect from the outside. The girl, the sport, the image…”
He looked at me.
“I was suffocating in it, and no one was around to save me.”
The room went quiet.
“Breaking up with Cherise… that was the first real thing I ever did for myself. First time I chose me.”
He sat back down.
“But then everything got real… and I panicked. I went to Hawaii thinking I could fix it. Like I could just put the mask back on and slide right back into the version of my life everyone expects from me.”
He let out a breath. Shaking his head.
“Like if I pretended hard enough, none of it would matter, and maybe I could believe it myself.”
He glanced over at me. “And we both know how Hawaii went.”
My eyes met his, and for the first time I didn’t see my brother.
I saw someone tired…Someone broken.
The version of Derrick I’d always known—the confident, untouchable one—felt like a lie.
“Derrick…I didn’t know any of this,” I said quietly. “I’m sorry. For not being there when you needed me. For Hawaii…all of it.”
He exhaled. “Whatever, man. Everything happened the way it was supposed to.” He shrugged. “Cherise and I were never meant to last. Hawaii just made it obvious.”
He took another sip of his beer, then added under his breath, “I just didn’t expect her to fall for my brother.”
I let out a small, disbelieving scoff.
“Cherise isn’t in love with me,” the words came out defensive. “What happened in Hawaii…that was just Hawaii. It doesn’t mean anything long-term. She wouldn’t—” I stopped myself, shaking my head. “She wouldn’t go for someone like me.”
I forced a laugh.
“She’s probably still in love with you,” I continued. “You guys always find your way back to each other. That’s just…what you do.”
Silence.
Then—
“Leo…” His eyes dropped to the floor. “I’m gay.”
***
For a second, I didn’t understand the words.
They just…sat there.
Like my brain needed a second to catch up.
“Oh,” I said quietly. I didn’t know what else to say. I was still just trying to take it in. All this time... Derrick was gay.
Derrick let out a short, broken laugh. “Congratulations,” he said bitterly. “Your brother is now the family disappointment.”
“Derrick, you're not—”
“I’ve been hiding it my whole life, Leo. I didn’t know how to tell you…or Dad.” His voice broke completely.
“Derrick, you haven’t told anyone? You have been carrying this alone all these years?”
His bloodshot eyes met mine. “I didn’t have a choice.” His voice broke on the last word.
I stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.
He stiffened for a moment, then his shoulders started shaking.
“I was drowning,” he whispered, tears falling down his face.
“You are not a disappointment, Derrick. You are not a disappointment, and I’m so sorry,” I said, quieter now.
“I should’ve been there. I let something petty come between me showing up for you…
But it won’t happen again. I am here, Derrick.
I will always be here from now on. Whatever you need—I am here. ” I squeezed him tight.
He pulled away and sank back down onto the couch, dragging a hand across his face.
“Leo,” he said, voice rough, “what I want is for you to be happy. I want you to be with the person you love. If that person is Cherise—as fucking weird as that sounds—then you need to go be with her.”
I sat down beside him, confused. “You really mean that?”
He exhaled, staring somewhere past me. “Who am I to get in the way of something real?” His jaw flexed. “I just hate the fact that I’ve been in the way all these years.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said quickly. “Like I told you, Cherise would never love me…so no harm done.” I shot him a tight smile.
“You’re wrong.”
The certainty in his voice stopped me cold. “What makes you so sure?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, turning it over in his hand for a second. “When I got this voicemail from Cherise,” he said slowly,” I thought it meant we were supposed to fix things. That maybe…we weren’t done.”
He shook his head. “But when I got to Hawaii, it all made sense.”
His eyes met mine.
“The voicemail was never meant for me. I was angry. Furious. But now…I’m glad she accidentally sent me that voicemail, because it gave me the push I needed to get out of your way.”
I paused. “What are you talking about? What voicemail?”
Derrick didn’t answer right away. His gaze dropped to his phone, his thumb hovering over the screen like whatever was on there carried more weight than anything we’d just said.
“The voicemail was meant for you, Leo.”
He tapped his phone. Cherise’s voice filled the room.
And my entire world rocked off-axis.