32. Lance
thirty-two
Lance
Present
I fucked up.
Forcing Gwen to watch me jerk off.
What was I thinking?
Guilt simmers low in my stomach. I’m such an asshole. I pushed her too far, too fast.
I should have stayed facing the wall and pretended not to hear the hitch in her breath as she watched me from the doorway. Then maybe she wouldn’t have freaked out so damn hard and drove back to her apartment.
Judging by the wet spot on her pretty pink panties, she was into watching me. I just can’t figure out what made her pull a road runner.
With a sigh, I lean back into my seat, ignoring the rest of teammates as they file onto the plane. Leaving for a week of away games in Florida and Atlanta couldn’t have come at a more terrible time. Not with Gwen ignoring me and my inability to fix whatever the fuck I messed up in the first place.
What does a guy do to apologize for whacking off in front of his wife? I already texted her, but should I send her flowers or something? Donuts?
“A newly married man should look a lot happier,” a gruff voice says, cutting through my thoughts.
I look over to find Heath plopping into the seat beside me. He’s wearing the Evaders’ team travel uniform—a gray collared shirt and black slacks. I couldn’t be more grateful that business casual is our team’s dress code.
My buddy would know what being happily married looks like, seeing as he’s been married to his wife for more than a decade. He and Grace are what people would label as “couple goals.” They met in college and have been together ever since.
“Hey, man.”
“Why so gloomy?” he asks.
No reason. Just scared my wife off after forcing her to watch me jerk off in the shower.
I shrug. “It’s good, I guess. Could be better.”
Heath arches an eyebrow. “Meaning?”
“He wants to bang her and hasn’t yet,” Blake says, popping up over the top of the seat in front of me and Heath.
“Fuck off,” I grumble, scowling at him.
“Leave him alone.” Cam flicks Blake’s ear. As the little brother of the group, Blake speaks his thoughts out loud. Doesn’t mean we don’t flick or slap him upside the head for it.
“Damn, that hurts,” Blake grumbles, rubbing his reddened ear.
Nico chuckles. “You deserved that.”
Cam and Nico slip into the aisle of seats behind me and Heath. Instead of sitting, they stay standing, arms propped on the headrests. All ears and ready to continue the conversation.
“Seriously, though, what’s up, Cap?” Cam asks.
I hesitate. It’s not easy for me to talk about my personal life. I didn’t have a good example growing up. My dad doesn’t talk about his feelings, and I was taught to be the same.
And how’s that working out for him?
He’s grumpy and, aside from my mother, alone. The last thing I want is to end up like him.
I look around, making sure only my closest friends can hear.
“Let me preface by saying, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will rip your balls off and put them in a jar on my trophy case.” I narrow my eyes at Blake.
“Rude. I would never tell anyone anything. Well, maybe Reed, but that doesn’t count.”
“Defo don’t count, bro.” Reed pats Blake on the back as he rises from his seat and turns around to face the group with a wide, mischievous grin plastered on his face. “Tell us your lady problems, Lancy boy, and we’ll help you out, like we did with Nico.”
“I did not need your help,” Nico bites back.
Reed grins wider and winks at our catcher. “Sure, you didn’t, baseball boy.”
“I hate you. This is about Lance, not me. My woman is happy and satisfied.”
“Touchy.” Reed returns his attention to me. “Well?”
“Last night, Gw … uh.” I cut myself off, not wanting to say Gwen’s name. I want her to have a say in when and who finds out about us. For now. “My girl walked in on me while I was in the shower, you know …” I make an inappropriate hand gesture.
“Jackin’ the beanstalk,” Reed blurts.
“Cranking your hog,” Blake adds.
“Slappin’ the salami.” Cam laughs, unable to help himself.
“I’m more of a ‘rubbing one out’ guy,” Heath jokes.
“Okay, enough. We get it,” Nico snaps as his gray eyes dance with mirth. “Lance was jerking the one-eyed monster. Tell us what happened next.”
I scowl at Nico. Bastard just had to pile on. Ignoring him, I continue with my story. “I thought she was into it, but when I finished, she ran out on me. Like, all the way back to her apartment.”
“Damn, that sucks. I’m sorry, dude.” Heath pats me on the shoulder.
“You must have one ugly-ass O face,” Blake says, shaking his head in disbelief.
“It’s still hotter than your regular face, dick waffle.” I flip Blake off.
“Listen, she’s probably just scared,” Nico says.
“Scared?” Gwen’s scared? Of me? I’d never hurt her. I’d hurt myself before I ever laid hands on her.
“Yeah, scared, dumbass. She doesn’t want to get heartbroken. When I was pursuing Savannah, she feared what other people would think of us dating, especially her sister.”
“Exactly. G needs reassurance from you. With Talia, I told her I was all in. No one else. Made sure she knew I was serious. That helped her let go and give into the fall.”
“Wait. Are you serious about her?” Heath interjects. “Because last time I checked, you only married her to help her get a job.”
“Of course, I’m serious about her. Hell, I haven’t been with anyone since her. Can’t get her out of my damn head. She burrowed her way under my skin. From the moment I met her, I knew I wanted her to be mine. Marrying her is part of my plan to keep her,” I declare.
Admitting the truth to my friends feels like I unloaded a ten-ton weight off my chest. Freeing. Thrilling. Completely terrifying.
Which is probably how Gwen feels.
“Damn, that’s deep, bro.” Blake smirks.
“Call me Daddy, because my babies are growing up,” Cam says, wiping away a fake tear from under his eye.
“Oh, fuck off.” Nico shoves Cam.
“Heath has been married the longest. Shouldn’t he be the daddy of the group?” Blake asks.
“I’m the one who brought all you dumbasses together. You call me Daddy.”
“I bet that’s what Talia says,” Reed teases.
Nico lifts his two middle fingers in the air. “You’re fucking dead. Better sleep with one eye open.”
Reed blows him a kiss.
“How is any of this gonna help me win over my wife?” I ask, only half amused by my friends.
My brothers. Don’t know what I’d do without them. Being able to talk to them without judgement or ridicule is nice.
Even the self-proclaimed bachelors are helping me with their not-so-terrible advice.
“Relax, she has the hots for you too.” Reed rolls his eyes at me.
“Start with simple texts. Let her know you’re thinking about her. Only her. She’ll come around when she realizes you’re in it for real. You can start by sending her food,” Nico says.
“Flowers are classic for a reason,” Heath adds.
Cam nods. “But don’t push her. Play it cool. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”
“Tease her a little too,” Reed says, rubbing his stubbled jaw like a movie villain. “Send a picture of the hotel room. Snap a shirtless selfie and say, ‘Missing you.’ Shit like that. But no dick pics.”
“This is the second time you’ve helped and had good ideas. What’s up with that?” Cam asks.
Reed shrugs. “I watch rom-coms and read dirty books. I know what women want.”
“Then why don’t you have a woman?” Heath asks, curious about Reed like the rest of us.
“I have more than one.” Reed looks off into the distance. Reed has always been hush-hush about his past but overly vocal about the women he sleeps with. I wonder if it’s a ploy to hide something else. Either way, it’s up to him to decide if he wants to talk about it with us.
“Or …” Blake starts.
“Don’t,” I warn.
Blake rolls his eyes. “Text her your thoughts and feelings. Does she even know how you feel?”
“Yes. Maybe?”
Cam scoffs. “Then make it clear. Or she won’t give you a chance, and you’ll end up divorced and choking your own chicken for the rest of your life.”
My friends burst out laughing at the harsh reality I could end up living.
“Take the risk first. Tell her how you feel, then prove you’re gonna catch her,” Nico says, surprising me with his final thought. He sits down and puts on his eye mask, and the rest of my friends follow, going back to their pre-flight rituals.
What my friends say makes sense. I know Gwen wants me. She’s just denying the inevitable. She just needs a little push.
I dig my phone out of my pocket, swipe open the screen, and tap Gwen’s name.
Sorry about last night. I know you’re scared, but I meant what I said. You’re all I want. And I’ll be right here waiting for you. I promise I’ll catch you.