33. Gwen
thirty-three
Gwen
Present
I promise I’ll catch you.
My heart does a little stutter step in my chest as I reread Lance’s text. He can’t possibly mean what I think he means, can he?
“What’s got you looking like you’ve just seen a ghost, my girl?” my grandmother asks in her low, raspy voice. Her presence is a comforting blanket.
Last night, when I ran out of Lance’s bathroom like a coward, instead of driving back to my apartment, I found myself headed north. I needed to be somewhere safe, with someone I could talk to without judgement.
There is only one place I can go for that kind of support.
Juju’s house.
Even though I arrived close to midnight, Juju welcomed me with open arms and set me up in her guest room for the night. No questions asked.
I watch my grandmother flip a pancake on the griddle. Her peach silk kaftan falls around her like a gossamer cloud as she works the stove, cooking breakfast for the two of us.
“Not a ghost, just a scary message,” I sigh.
She places a plate filled with pancakes, strawberries, whipped cream, and scrambled eggs in front of me, making my mouth water.
I grab a fork and dig in. “So good, Juju. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, my Gwenny girl. So, who do I owe for this lovely, mid-week surprise visit?” she asks, then sips her coffee.
I shrug, shoving another bite of pancake into my mouth. She adds a pinch of cinnamon to each batch, and I swear they taste like heaven.
We eat in comfortable silence. When my plate is clean, Juju starts in again. “Ready to talk about it?”
Not really, but I came here for a reason.
I wipe my mouth with my napkin and place it over my plate, pushing them away. “I did something really stupid.”
Juju’s auburn eyebrows reach her graying hairline, and her lips twitch. “You’ve got my attention.”
“I got married.”
Juju rears back in shock. “Can you repeat that? I think I misheard you.”
“Um. Shoot. I don’t know where to start.” I bury my face in my hands.
“Look at me, Gwenny.” She grips my wrists, pulling my hands from my face, and threads our fingers together, giving them an encouraging squeeze. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
I nod, gripping her hands in return. Her presence steadies me as I gather the courage to open up to her about what’s happened.
“I had a one-night stand with one of Dad’s players.”
“Which one?”
Tilting my head to the side, I glare at her grinning face. “Juju.”
“Fine, continue. We’ll get back to that part.” She releases her hold on my hands and pretends to zip her lips, letting me tell her my story.
Without leaving out a single detail, I recount my story. From the first night all the way to yesterday. Juju sits quietly beside me, taking it all in.
“So, yeah. That’s what’s happened.” Juju exhales a ragged breath, making me grimace. “I know. I’m sorry.”
My guts roll and twist. I feel crummy for not talking to her sooner. Aside from my best friend, I’ve always been able to talk to my grandmother. About anything. She’s the reason I went to college back east. She’s encouraged me to break free from the Montgomery name and do my own thing.
Growing up, she always had my back. Especially when my father was being unreasonable.
Like senior prom. Dad threw a fit and made me cry all because he wanted me to exchange my dress for something less revealing.
But it was Juju who came in and set him straight.
Smacked him upside the head and told him to fuck off.
Green eyes shining, Juju pumps her eyebrows at me. “You’ve been a busy lady.”
“I guess I have been.” I chuckle. Relief sweeps through me. Of course she isn’t judging me.
Juju leans forward, elbow on the table, chin propped on her fist. “Are you going to tell me which fella on the team you got down and dirty with, or do I have to guess?”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty curious who you think it is.”
She taps her chin. “I hope it’s not that gigolo shortstop. Don’t get me wrong. That man is gorgeous, but even I know he’s been around the block way too many times.”
I throw my head back and laugh. While I don’t doubt Reed’s been around the block, he’s a good guy. “Not the shortstop. It’s the first baseman, Lance Taylor.”
She claps her hands and whoops. “Hot damn, you know how to pick ’em.
He’s a treat.” Juju freezes, realization dawning on her.
“Wait. Let me get this straight. You walked in on that fine man charming the one-eyed snake, and you ran away? I would have hopped in that shower and rode that snake until it hissed.”
My jaw falls open. “Juju.”
“I might be old, but I’m no prude. I know my way around the bedroom. I’ve had plenty of lovers. Maybe not as many as your grandfather did during our marriage, but certainly after.” She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair, looking like a queen.
“You waited until Grandfather died?” I ask, shocked at what I’m hearing. I know she was faithful, but their marriage was only for show toward the end.
“No, just when the marriage did.”
“I’m really sorry he was such a crummy husband.”
Waving her hands in the air, she scoffs. “You have nothing for you to be sorry about. I like to think karma took care of his bald, cheating ass.”
She points to the floor, and we both burst out laughing.
I wish I had half the spunk Juju does. But I know I am a stronger woman because of her. She taught me to value myself and never to depend on a man to make me happy.
“So why did you run all the way to Grandmother’s house?” she teases.
“I don’t know. It all just felt too real. You know?”
“So?” Juju sips her coffee again.
“So? He only married me to help me fool Dad. Not because he’s in love with me.”
“How do you know he’s not?” she asks.
I glance at my phone, then back at my grandmother, who is cleverer than most. Her gaze quickly bounces from me to my phone.
One sweet text does not equate to love. As much as I care about Lance, I can’t afford to get my heart stomped on.
“Because you don’t fall in love with someone you had sex with once, months ago,” I answer, making Juju scoff.
“Your father fell in love with your mother the moment he laid eyes on her,” she says, repeating the story he tells everyone.
I roll my eyes at her, and she smirks. “All I’m saying is, give him a chance.
You, my sweet girl, are extremely lovable.
For all you know, he might already be half in love with you, so why don’t you try meeting him the rest of the way? It might be worth taking the leap for.”
“Or it might not,” I grumble, making Juju sigh.
“Nothing in life is certain, Gwenny. Love is a risk.”
And that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
The risk.