Chapter Nineteen #2
A stifled moan escapes Senán’s mouth, and I look up to see him biting his lip, trying not to let any more involuntary vocalizations escape.
The way his hands twist in the bedding tells me that there would be a whole lot more vocalizations escaping if he would only allow them to.
“We’re not in public this time,” I remind him as I slide my finger in and out of him at an intentionally agonizing pace. “No excuses, I want to hear you.”
Senán laughs breathlessly. “But what will the neighbors say— ah—”
His snark is cut short as I curl my finger up, pressing against the spot I know will turn him into the babbling mess I’m looking for. I keep rubbing it, absorbed in the tight heat, watching him writhe against the sheets, then I slowly push a second finger in.
The soft, mewling sounds that seem to ride out of Senán with every breath make me feel like I could stay here for hours, but the urgency of my hard-on says otherwise.
Still, I think I can take Senán further, closer to the brink of madness, so I keep pushing my fingers in languidly and hooking them as I pull them out until Senán is moaning in earnest.
“Ryder,” he says, panting, “Ryder, I’m ready…”
His voice has taken on a pleading tone; quiet, like it’s a voice he’s never used before. It’s beautiful, but I want more. “Are you?” I ask.
Senán moans again, half gratitude and half need. “Bloody Hell, Ryder, yes , I’m ready—”
“I’m not convinced,” I say, slowing the movement of my fingers.
“Please,” Senán whispers, hips moving against my hand.
I close my eyes, memorizing that wonderful sound. “Sorry, what was that?”
“ Please,” he says again, breaking down at last, “I want you inside me, I’ve wanted you inside me for weeks, Ryder, please…”
My body starts to take over then. I make a sound low in my throat, nearly a growl, and pull my fingers out of Senán to reach for the bottle of lube that’s tangled in the sheets. He whimpers and hooks his leg around the back of my thigh as I slick myself up, trying to pull me closer.
“I think I like you when you’re like this,” I murmur as I position myself between Senán’s legs.
Senán opens his eyes just enough to look at me, half-lidded and still full of fire even in his messy state. “You like me all the time,” he says.
Of course that’s true, but I don’t tell him that. I just watch the way Senán’s face changes as I push inside him, slow enough that even I’m on the brink of losing control. Senán is silent, his mouth hanging open and his eyes fluttering shut as our hips draw flush to one another.
My breathing is already heavy as I lean down and press a kiss to Senán’s temple, then whisper in his ear. “Alright?”
Senán laughs, wild and half-coherent, and slides a hand into my hair just so he can pull it.
“Like you’re trying to break me in half,” he whispers back.
The words jolt through me like a Promethean gift, fire and action and sacrifice all rolled into one.
I groan, bite into the lobe of Senán’s ear, then pull out of him halfway to thrust back in again.
Senán makes a sharp sound and fists his hand tighter into my hair, pleasure and pain in perfect alliance as I thrust into him again.
I build a rhythm to match our breath, encouraged by the moans growing louder and more urgent in my ear and the fingernails digging into the skin of my back.
I’m already starting to lose myself in it when Senán pulls my face close to his and whispers, “C’mon, love, I know you’re stronger than that.
” My laugh is husky and madcap as I lift his legs onto my shoulders, then start pounding into him so hard that I’m dead fucking certain it can be felt in the next room over.
Senán is nothing but savage, wordless moans underneath me now, his eyes rolled back and his neck arched.
I take in every sight, every sound as I fuck him harder and harder, at the edge of my own climax and barely holding on.
I can feel Senán growing tight around me, and I think he’s going to finish first until he yanks my hair again and gasps, “Cum inside me.”
My moans are muffled against Senán’s neck as I finish inside him, pulling him close enough that I can feel the wet mess of his orgasm painting both our stomachs.
I collapse on top of him, every muscle in my body shaking, and still, all I can think about is a soft, breaking voice in my ear whispering, Ryder, please.
Ryder, please…
“Ryder…”
“Hnn?” I grunt.
“We’ll be stuck together for eternity if you don’t move.”
“Doesn’t sound so bad…” I hear myself mumble.
Senán laughs and shoves me, rolling me onto my back. “C’mon, love,” he says as he climbs out of the bed. “You’ve nearly three hours left here, that’s enough time for a shower.”
I thought about skipping my flight. I really, honestly did.
The moment we climbed back into bed, Senán fell asleep with his head on my chest, and now I’ve spent the rest of the morning just…
watching him. The sun is growing bright in the sky.
Birds call out their morning songs. The voices of hotel guests carry softly through the open balcony door.
The rest of the world moves along as usual, but I’m stuck here, memorizing the feeling of a maybe, just slightly extraordinary human breathing soundly against me.
I kiss the top of Senán’s head and squeeze his shoulder. “Hey,” I whisper.
Senán grunts in response.
“I don’t want you to get up either, but—”
“Yes,” he mumbles into my chest, “yes, I’m up…”
Senán tilts his head to kiss me lazily, gently. If I didn’t know better, I might even say “romantically.”
“You gonna leave the same way you came in?” I tease.
Senán opens his mouth to answer, then stops and closes it again. He gives me a curious look, like he’s just remembered something very strange.
“You knew I was on the balcony before you went out there this morning.”
“Uh huh.”
“How?”
“I could feel you there.”
Senán stares at me, deadpan. “You could feel me.”
I shrug. “Yeah.”
“On the balcony.”
“Yup.”
Senán props himself up next to me, legs still tangled in mine. “Alright,” he says, jabbing a finger into the middle of my chest, “enough. You’re gonna tell me right now how the hell you’ve been finding me.”
I laugh. “I just told you!”
“I wanna know how you’ve been sniffing me out over and over again, how you recognized me when I was in my other half—”
“I felt you!”
“Ryder, you’ve been inside me. If the Bureau is giving out psychic powers, I deserve to know.”
I laugh again, giddy with sleep deprivation and the warmth of Senán’s skin against mine. “I felt you! I come from Witchfinders; I have The Sense.”
“From what I’ve seen, you’ve got very little sense.”
“No, The Sense. It’s… genetic or something, I can feel whenever Witches are nearby.”
Senán’s eyes narrow. “Genetic?” he repeats incredulously. In his face I can see the silent calculations beginning. “And what does this ‘sense’ feel like, exactly?”
I’ve only described it a handful of times in my life, so it takes a few seconds to find the words. “It’s a sort of… tingling, I guess? Like static electricity, but in my blood. And it’s… not warm, exactly, but—”
“Like you’re warm and you have chills at the same time?”
“Yeah!” I say. “So you do know about this!”
Senán looks at me with an astounded expression, like I just accidentally cracked the genetic code, then bursts out laughing.
“Yes, Ryder, I know about this,” he says finally. “I’m quite familiar with it, in fact.”
I frown, confused. “Really? My granddad always told me it’s really rare for Witchfinders to have.”
“Oh, I imagine it is. Being able to feel the presence of nearby Witches would be quite a desirable skill in your profession… but that ‘sense,’ as you call it, it doesn’t come from being a Witch finder, love. It comes from being a Witch.”
I stare at him for a long-ass second, then roll my eyes. “Yeah, okay, hilarious—”
“I’m not joking. Witches can feel the presence of other Witches nearby.”
My mind is doing some complicated gymnastics trying to figure out why that can’t be true, what makes that impossible. Because it is, obviously, impossible. “That’s… no, that’s ridiculous. This is something that’s been passed down through my family for centuries. My granddad had it, my mom has it—”
“And I’m sure you recall from your basic training that there is a genetic component to Witchcraft. If it’s a dominant gene, you’d only need it from one side of your lineage.”
I shake my head, still not capable of comprehending how this could be. “If that’s true, then you should be able to feel when I’m nearby!”
“I can feel it. It’s weak, most likely because you haven’t honed your craft yet, but it’s there.”
“So you get that tingly, buzzy feeling when I’m around?”
“I do. I’ve been feeling it since day one, just didn’t recognize it for what it was.”
“What did you think it was, then?”
Senán smiles softly, and with the sleepy eyes and tousled hair, it’s unbearably charming to see him embarrassed about something.
“I just thought it was because I liked you,” he says.
I feel something warm and soft bubbling up inside me like a spell, and I kiss Senán to keep it from spilling out of my mouth.
In a perfect world, we could stay in this bed all day.
We could order room service for breakfast and talk about all the things we haven’t talked about yet.
We could take a bath together and share our favorite movies and I could make Senán laugh, just because it feels good.
We could spend all day just doing things that feel good, because when I think back on the past two weeks, all I feel is good.
But it isn’t a perfect world. I have a flight to catch, and we’ve both known all along that this arrangement has an expiration date. That was the whole point.
Wasn’t it?