47. Henrik #2
He’s not wrong. About Carina, that is. She’s brilliant.
Thoughts of her flood my mind, and I puff out my chest. “Yes, she is. She is the smartest woman I’ve ever known.
Her knowledge and passion astound me. Seeing her in her element this summer during the survey, it was incredibly obvious she surpasses all her colleagues.
It’s a pity KFCR can’t offer her a biologist position. ”
“Is that why she’s considering a position in Hawaii?”
The world stops turning. His words echo in my ears. Did I hear him correctly? My heart squeezes and my body grows cold. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I shake my head. She would have told me.
“What position in Hawaii?” I rasp. Tension coils in my gut when he doesn’t respond. My voice drops low as I demand, “Eirik. What the fuck are you talking about?”
An unfamiliar noise comes across the line before he answers. “Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe I misheard?” he replies. Uncontrolled anger and confusion battle within me.
“Misheard? From who?” There’s more silence on his end. Impatient, I growl, “Eirik, tell me.”
“Uh… I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want you angry with them.” While I wait, I rack my brain. Who would Carina tell if she wouldn’t tell me? Mia.
Before he can answer, I say through gritted teeth, “It was my sister, wasn’t it?
” The sound that comes from within me, I don’t recognize.
It’s filled with all the agony and pain coursing through me.
I refuse to believe Carina would keep something of this magnitude from me.
There’s no way she wouldn’t have told me.
I think back to how overwrought and quiet she had been in the days leading up to my departure.
Her desperate and tear-filled goodbye kiss.
I’d assumed it just had to do with my leaving, but obviously, there was a lot more to it.
She accepted a job in Hawaii without telling me.
I close my eyes as my chest constricts; my knuckles turning white as my hand tightens on the radio.
I rub my sternum with the other as a sharp pain tears through my heart, a relentless barrage of questions looping around in my head.
Feelings of betrayal and abandonment overwhelm me and I growl, “I have to go.” I drop the radio from my hand as I lean forward, collapsing in on myself. My heart shatters.
Why didn’t she tell me? I’d never hold her back from pursuing her dreams. I may be a selfish, grumpy asshole, but I love her too much to ask her to settle and live a life that forced her to give up part of herself up for me.
If she can’t achieve her dreams in Alaska, then even though it would devastate me, I’d have let her go.
The radio crackles.
“Henrik, talk to me.”
No!
“Henrik, please.”
Shut up.
“Maybe I misunderstood.”
Shut the FUCK up.
“Maybe she was telling Amelia about a vacation she wanted to take to Hawaii.”
His words echo in my mind. Filled with anger and confusion, I fling myself out of my chair like my ass is on fire. My brain is flooded with chaotic thoughts as I pace back and forth across the wheelhouse.
“Henrik, talk to me. Carina loves you too much to leave. What you have is enviable. It’s lasting.”
With shaking hands, I lick my salty, cracked lips before I retrieve the handset from where it dangles. I lift it to my mouth and angrily say, “Sh-shut the fuck up, Eirik, and… leave me the fuck alone.”
Everything he said makes me angrier, and all I see is red. Not wanting to listen to him anymore, I flip the radio to another frequency, and the resulting silence is deafening.
Undeterred, Eirik blows up my cell phone with text messages.
He knows my policy about not using my phone unless it’s an emergency.
As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t one.
So, I do the only thing that will give me any peace—power it off.
If my parents need to get a hold of me, they’ll call Edgar. Everyone else can fuck off.
For the next few hours, I try to keep my mind busy with anything but Carina and the situation I’m now in with my sister and best friend.
However, that’s impossible. I have so many questions.
Confusion about why Carina shared that job information with Mia and not me makes me sick to my stomach.
Doubts about her and our relationship surface.
I feel like there’s something wrapped tightly around my chest, squeezing me.
“I need some air,” I mumble as I climb out of my chair.
In two brief steps, I’m through the door and sucking in several icy breaths.
The shock to my lungs causes me to cough.
Wind gusts surround me, whipping past my face and drying stray tears on my cheeks.
Leaning over the rail, I look at the dark, swirling water below.
It churns steadily beneath us, a tease of what is coming when the storm arrives in a few hours.
My body tenses as I grip the metal rail. Staring into the sea, I remind myself that no matter what happened, I’m still the captain of this ship, and I have a job to do. I will keep my crew safe.
At the sound of my name, I freeze. Dad? My heart pounds in my chest. Man, I must be tired if I’m imagining him here with me. I slap my hand over my face and drag it down just as I turn toward where the voice came from.
There, standing only inches away, is Edgar. I let a breath out, glad I’m not losing it. The older my brother gets, the more his voice resembles our father’s. Bent over at the waist, he pants as if he hustled here from miles away, not the thirty steps between the bunks and wheelhouse.
“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” I ask, knowing he needs rest so he’s ready for the next shift.
Standing up, he crosses his arms over his chest and growls, “Yes, I was, but then your best friend and our little sister thought it would be a good idea to blow up my phone with texts and calls. I was sleeping through all the notifications, but they woke Kai up, and he slugged me, making sure I’d answer.
” He glares at me. “What the hell is going on?”
I push past him into the wheelhouse, and drop into my chair. “Nothing. Just ignore them.”
“Easy for you to say. Why aren’t they blowing up your phone?”
“Because I turned it off. I don’t want to speak to either of them.”
His brow furrows. “What the actual fuck is going on, Henrik? Eirik’s been your best friend since we were kids, and Mia’s our sister. You can’t just ignore them.”
“Yes. I can. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“Why? What happened?” he screeches.
“You don’t need to get involved. They know what they did,” I bluntly announce. “We have another hour until we get to our spot if you want to nap some more.”
Edgar looks at me with a combination of shock and disappointment. “What do you want me to say to them?”
I shrug. “I don’t care.”
He grumbles something, and the next thing I hear is his steps down to the galley.
His phone rings again, and instead of silencing it like he’d been doing when we were talking, he answers it.
“Hi, Mia. Sorry I didn’t answer. I was sleeping.
What’s wrong? You and Eirik have been calling and texting me like crazy for the past hour.
” It’s silent for a few moments, then I hear him hum.
He’s at the bottom of the stairs, talking loud enough for me to hear.
“I don’t know what to tell you two. Henrik is really upset.
He didn’t tell me what happened, but he says you know and he’s not talking to either of you. ”
“Honestly, I don’t want to know what’s going on. I just need you to let him be. He has an important job he needs to focus on. We need to be safe out here, and if you two don’t stop messing with him, something bad might happen.
“As soon as we’re back in Kodiak, you can talk to your heart’s content, but until then, please leave him alone. Please ask Eirik to do the same. I need to go get another hour of sleep before we have to work again. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
When he hangs up, I say, “Thank you, Edgar.”
In response, he huffs and then it’s silent again. And I let out a pained breath I didn’t realize I was holding.