54. Carina
FIFTY-FOUR
CARINA
He’s coming home today. The thought of that stirs up a flurry of emotion. I’m excited and relieved, but I’m also anxious and worried. From the moment I woke up this morning, I’ve been a bundle of nerves.
My bed’s scattered with several outfits.
Even though I’m planning to remain hidden, I want to look my best. Henrik isn’t expected back until later in the afternoon, so I hope the extra time I put into my hair and makeup will last. Stopping in front of the mirror on my way out, I notice my eyes aren’t as dull as they have been.
I still look sad, though. I pinch my cheeks, adding some color. “That’s better,” I tell myself.
When I get to work, I search out my boss to make sure it’s okay to take a later lunch.
Knocking on his open door, I wait for him to acknowledge me.
I see his desk is covered in papers, and he’s glaring at his computer screen.
When he finally raises his head, he gives me a tight smile. “Good morning, Carina.”
Sensing he’s stressed, I answer back quickly. “Good morning. Wow, you look busy.”
He nods distractedly. “Yes. I’m working on a new grant. Did you need something?”
I step closer. “Yes, I did. I was wondering if I could take my lunch later today. Henrik is returning from crabbing, and I want to see he’s safe. I already checked the schedule, and we don’t have any field trips or scheduled visitors this afternoon.”
He smiles. “Sounds like you’ve thought of everything. Taking a later lunch is no problem.”
“Thank you so much. Now, I’ll get out of your hair so you can focus on that grant.” I head to my desk to wait for Mia’s text, telling me when I need to head to the harbor.
Burying myself in work, I don’t realize the morning has flown by. At eleven, I hear my cell phone ding. Looking over at my coffee mug, I see it’s empty. “Time for a caffeine refill.” While I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, I slip my phone from my pocket.
Mia
They’ll be here at 3. See you at the docks.
Me
Thanks, Mia. I’m still planning to keep my distance, so you probably won’t see me.
Mia
I figured, so I’m turning finding you into a fun brain activity.
Me
What?
Mia
Ever heard of Where’s Waldo? I’m playing Where’s Carina?
Me
You are such an elementary school teacher.
Mia
Yes, I am. And proud of it too.
Me
I have to get back to work.
Mia
Me too. My class should be back shortly. Coffee date soon?
Me
I’d love that.
Fifteen minutes before three, I drive over to the docks and park on the far side of the lot.
Scanning the area, I make sure I don’t recognize anyone before I exit my car.
Like a ninja, I silently move closer to the slip they’ll be docking in.
Before I can be noticed, I shift behind a nearby boat and peek out.
I see Mia standing with her parents, and my heart squeezes.
I should be with them, welcoming the love of my life home.
As if she senses me, Mia turns around, and in under thirty seconds she’s found me.
Her smile is a dead giveaway. She gives a subtle wave before turning back toward where the Brina is approaching from.
The smiles Mr. and Mrs. Berg wear are full of emotions like love, pride, and relief.
Henrik expertly maneuvers the boat, backing it into the slip with ease.
Once it’s tied off, I see the crew disembark.
After ten minutes, Edgar heads out with a duffle bag over his shoulder.
I duck farther into my hiding spot so he doesn’t notice me.
He’s quick to hug his parents and Mia. He whispers something to Mia, and her spine goes straight.
She steps a few feet away from her parents, and her gaze darts over to where I am.
As she squints, desperately trying to find me, she slowly shakes her head.
Even though I’m not one hundred percent sure, I’m convinced that’s a warning for me.
Swallowing hard, I consider whether I can get off the docks without being detected.
In the end, I decide to stay hidden and take my chances.
Not even two minutes later, Henrik strolls out onto the deck, looking as handsome as ever.
Dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, he’s effortlessly sexy.
He pulls his beanie from his head, and his hair is a tousled mess.
I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it.
He tucks the hat in his back pocket and greets his parents. He looks at Mia but says nothing.
His gruff voice carries through the air. “Ready to go?” he asks before taking off down the wooden walkway. The closer he gets, the harder my heart pounds. I reach out for him. Chastening myself, I pull back my outstretched hand.
“He doesn’t want to see you,” I whisper to myself. My tears fall as I realize it doesn’t matter how much I want to run to him and hug him for eternity. Things between us have changed, and the future is unknown.
Standing there on the dock with my hair whipping around me, the cool of the winter breeze chills me to the bone. I wrap my arms around myself for warmth as I watch the man I love walk away.
I needed to see he was safe, since I’m pretty sure he won’t be contacting me, and I’ve done that. Though my heart hurt that I couldn’t welcome him home the way I wanted to, I’m glad he made it back in one piece and that they had a successful haul.
As soon as they’ve disappeared out of sight, I turn to the ocean.
Overwhelmed, I lower myself down and let my legs hang over the edge of the dock.
Forgetting about work, I close my eyes and focus on the sound of the waves lapping against the nearby boats.
It’s peaceful. My heart rate and breathing slow down.
I roll my tight shoulders and neck. Ever since I can remember, the sound of the waves has always centered me.
By the time I open my eyes, it’s getting dark outside, and I see the sun setting on the horizon. “Thank you for bringing him home safely,” I whisper to my ever-faithful friend before heading home. No matter what happens, I’ll always have the ocean to come back to.