55. Henrik
FIFTY-FIVE
HENRIK
Kai, Edgar, and I are working hard on the boat the next day when my dad stops by.
“Henrik,” he calls across the deck as he boards the Brina.
“Down here,” I holler from the galley, where I’m cleaning out the freezer and fridge and making a list of what we’ll need for opie season.
He appears at the door, and I smile despite the mood I’m in.
Edgar may sound exactly like him, but I’m the carbon copy of his younger self.
We both have dark-blue eyes and reddish-blond hair, whereas Edgar and Mia take after Mom with their blonde hair and light-blue eyes.
Since Dad stopped crabbing a few years ago, he no longer has a beard, instead deciding to sport a handlebar mustache.
In his deep baritone, he says, “Your mom sent me.” Immediately, my skin prickles. Even though I’m a grown man, I pay extra attention to anything concerning my mom.
“Yeah?” I respond, trying my hardest to sound unaffected.
He nods and steps closer. “She wanted to invite you kids over for dinner tonight.”
He doesn’t mention Carina, and I’m relieved, because they must be wondering why she wasn’t here to welcome us home yesterday.
I look up from my list. “Sounds great. What time, and what can I bring?”
“She said dinner’s at six, and she’s got the meal covered. But she asked that you pass the invitation on to Carina. She can’t seem to get ahold of her.”
Swallowing hard, I panic. What am I going to do? Lie? “Carina has been feeling under the weather for the last few days. I don’t think she’ll be able to make it.”
Dad scratches his head. “Your mom mentioned that when we were supposed to have dinner together a few days ago. Carina was adamant about not wanting to share her germs. Your mom thought she’d be feeling better by now.
And I thought I saw her yesterday at the docks, but I’m not sure.
If it was her, why wouldn’t she come say hi, even if she had to keep her distance? ”
I shrug because I don’t want to lie to my dad. With fear and anxiety building momentum in my gut, I hold my tongue and pray he’ll see the pleading in my eyes.
He does. His eyes soften, and he clears his throat. “Tell me your plan for the opies. Do you know where you want to drop your lines?”
I close the fridge. “Do you have time for a cup of coffee and to give me your opinion on what I’m thinking?”
Without answering, he walks to the coffee machine and starts making a pot. “As soon as this is done, let’s take a look.”
After Dad and I strategize the best spots, he stays on the boat for a few hours, tinkering.
By lunchtime, Kai returns with sandwiches and parts for the hydraulic lift.
The afternoon passes quickly, and before I know it, I barely have enough time to run home and shower before I’m expected at my parents’ house.
I stop to grab Mom a bouquet on the way.
When she answers the door, her eyes are sparkling and her cheeks are pink. “Thank you, Henrik. These are gorgeous,” she exclaims when I hand her the flowers. Then she narrows her eyes. “What’s the occasion?”
I scoff. “What? Can’t a son get his mom flowers just because?” She tries to look around me; I assume to see if I brought Carina. I sense the question without her even giving it a voice.
Nervous, my skin tightens. I can feel her suspicion heavy in the air.
My heart thumps against my breastbone “So, what’s for dinner?
It smells amazing,” I say, trying to redirect her focus as I walk deeper into the house.
She gives no answer. When I’m almost to the kitchen, where I hear the rest of my family congregating, I turn around. “Are you coming?”
Turning away from the door, she drops the hand holding the bouquet to her side and her shoulders fall. Her worried expression, registers in my gut. Shit. “Is Carina coming?”
I frown and shake my head no. I can’t bring myself to say the words. Doing so is just another way of accepting we’re over, and I’m not ready for that.
“She isn’t really sick, is she?” I shrug my shoulders because, honestly, I don’t know.
Then her breath catches. “Did something happen between you two?” I nod, hoping that will be the end of the conversation.
Then we’ll have dinner, and I can go home.
To a lonely fucking house that only reminds me of her.
Mom moves closer and then wraps her arms around me.
“I’m sorry. Do you need to talk about it? ”
“No,” I grumble at the same time as my sister says, “Yes.” Sneaky devil.
My mom pulls back and looks at me, then at Mia. “Well, which is it?” Again, I say no while she says yes. In a silent standoff, we glare at each other. “Enough,” Mom warns, then calls for Edgar.
“Yeah?” he answers as he saunters out of the kitchen.
My gaze moves to him, and I see he’s got a smirk on his face.
With her hands on her hips, she asks him, “Do you know what’s going on between Henrik and Carina?”
He remains silent but nods.
“Well, we haven’t got all day. I need to pull the roast out soon.” Edgar’s wide-eyed gaze meets mine. He knows he has to tell Mom what he knows, but he doesn’t want to piss me off.
The scowl I have directed at my sister deepens. It’s her fault he’s in the middle of this. If she’d just left it alone, it would have worked out. Who the fuck knows the outcome, but we wouldn’t be in our current predicament.
Mom taps her foot impatiently, and Edgar makes an awkward noise. I nod my head, giving him permission to air my relationship drama. Hell, maybe I’ll learn something. Shaking his head, he blows out a heavy breath. Damn. He looks uncomfortable.
Stepping closer to him, I rest my hand on his shoulder and mumble, “It’s okay.
” He grimaces again before he shares what he knows about Carina possibly leaving for a job in Hawaii and not telling me anything about it.
He mentions that the position was only temporary, and that she refused it.
Reliving the deception is the worst form of torture.
When Edgar is done, I look at my mom, expecting her to be upset on my behalf, but her face is devoid of emotion.
“Is that all?” she asks, her voice sweet and calm.
How is she not freaking out? I am.
“What? Is that all? Did you expect more?” Staring at my mom, I’m appalled. My hands are shaking as I rasp, “Why are you not shocked?”
As only a mother can do, she clucks her tongue. “Because, Henrik, I knew about the job in Hawaii. I didn’t think it’d be a problem. It sounded like a great distraction for Carina while you were at sea. You know how much she worries.”
Frowning, I growl, “You don’t think I know she worries? I’m well aware of the fear she has about me crabbing. I’ve spent numerous nights holding her while she had nightmares about it. But we were working through it because she talked to me about it.” At least I thought we were working through it.
“Henrik,” my mom says, and I shake my head.
“You know what she didn’t talk to me about? Hawaii. She never mentioned it. When I finally heard about it, it wasn’t even from her. Eirik told me after he’d heard it from Mia. Do you know how messed-up that was?”
Mom’s face falls.
“She didn’t even trust me enough to mention it. Instead, I had my feet knocked from underneath me and was told the love of my life was moving to Hawaii by my best friend.”
My mom steps closer. “But, Henrik, it was only a temporary position. She was never planning to leave Kodiak or you. You are her forever plan.”
My heart shreds a little more. “She was mine too, but I’m not so sure anymore.”
“You don’t mean that. You’re just upset,” she whispers.
I breathe out a heavy sigh. “You’re right, I am upset. I don’t understand how she couldn’t trust me.”
“It’s not that she didn’t trust you. Before you left, she didn’t have all the details, and she didn’t want to get you worked up about something that probably would never happen.”
Annoyed, I grind my teeth together. “Who told you that?”
“Her mom told me when we met for coffee last week. She said Carina only told her about it after finding out all the details. She said Carina was stressed because she wanted to talk to you about it, but couldn’t because you weren’t here.”
I hold up my hand, willing her to stop. If what she’s saying is true, I may have overreacted.
My emotions overwhelm me as I consider I may have prematurely walked away from the woman I love, without a conversation.
Nauseous, I swallow hard and then croak, “Stop, please.” Moving toward the door, I say, “I need to go.”
My mom’s hand lands on my back. “Please, don’t go,” she says, her voice shaky.
I refuse to look at her.
I hear my dad say, “Sylvie, let him go.” And the sound of her sniffling hits me just before I walk out the door.
My mind is clouded with questions as I drive home. Pulling into my driveway, I turn off the engine and slam my fists against the steering wheel. “Fuck!” I yell.
Knuckles knocking on the hood of my truck pulls me out of my angry outburst. I raise my head to find someone standing there. Eirik. I climb from my truck and slam my door. “What are you doing here?” I ask, still angry at everything that happened.
He widens his stance like he’s preparing to be hit before he replies, “I was worried about you, and you haven’t answered any of my calls.”
“You’ve been worried about me? No, I think when you were whispering with my little sister, I was the furthest thing from your mind.”
He glares at me. “Don’t hold back, Henrik. What do you really want to say?”
I cross my arms and glare at him. “You were more concerned with getting close to my sister than worrying about possibly hurting me. You were supposed to be my best fucking friend, but you chose her. Why is that?”
Eirik drops his defensive stance. “Henrik, I didn’t choose Amelia over you.
She and I were getting along for once, and I mentioned what she said because I thought you already knew about it.
” He steps closer and I curl my fists. He notices and his eyes widen.
“I know you’re pissed, but I don’t think it’s at me. ”
“Really? Are you sure about that?” I ask, grinding my teeth.
“I think you’re hurt and don’t know how to handle it.”
I let his words sink in. Shit, he’s right. But I won’t admit it. My shoulders fall. Extreme exhaustion floods my body, and all I want to do is sit down.
Pushing past him, I drag myself to the front door. Leaving the door open, I head to my couch and collapse on it. Resting my head back, I close my eyes and try to untangle my thoughts and feelings.
The couch dips next to me, and I open my eyes to find Eirik seated on the other end. My anger with him has fizzled out. He was right, and I don’t know what to do. I groan. “Eirik, what am I supposed to do?”
He remains quiet for a minute before he finally clears his throat and asks, “What do you want Henrik?”
“I want her, but I can’t,” I confess.
He makes a disapproving noise in his throat. “You know that’s a load of shit, right?”
Frustrated, I run my hand through my hair.
“She made a mistake because she was trying to protect you. Are you going to sit here, being stubborn as hell, and let her walk away all because she temporarily withheld information from you? Information I’m confident she would have shared with you once she had all the details.”
I don’t know what to do. Now that I’ve allowed myself to look past my anger and understand the position was temporary, and she turned it down, I have one major question I still need answered—Would she have told me?
Yes, I believe she would have. Digging deep, I know in my heart Carina wouldn’t have left me or Kodiak without a discussion.
I’m just hurt and having a hard time getting past it.
He turns to me and angrily says, “Really? You have nothing to say?” I remain silent.
He shakes his head. “I can’t even believe you have to give this any thought.
You know her better than I do, and there’s no way I think she’d just up and leave you.
She loves you too much. I’ve known for months that you were it for each other.
Now, get over yourself and go make things right with your woman before you ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you. ”
“But—” I start to object, and his glare cuts me off.
“But what? Henrik, do you want to lose her?”
“No.”
“Do you think she was maliciously trying to deceive you by withholding information from you?”
“No,” I answer again.
“Have you ever made a mistake and hoped someone you loved forgave you for it?”
I hang my head and mumble, “Yeah.”
“You two need to talk. She needs to know how much she hurt you. And then you both need to discuss what you want going forward.”
I nod because what he’s saying makes sense. Eirik stands and offers his hand to me. Pulling me up, he hits me in the chest. “Are you ready to go get your girl?”
Instead of answering, I blow out a heavy breath.