Chapter One Thea
Present Day
I hated clubs. I hated drinking, but there were very few moments in my life when I felt free.
Tonight was one of those moments.
I’d never been to New Mexico before, but a quick Google search told me Haven Hills was too small to have a decent bar. So I drove to Collings instead, a town about a hundred miles away.
It was a smart move, though, because I couldn’t risk my brother finding out I was here before I was ready. He would kill me and then drag my body back to California.
Though my brother and I didn’t talk or see each other more than once or twice a year, he still controlled every aspect of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I loved not having to work while I was in school, but money can only go so far.
I was twelve when my parents died. We were headed home from cheer practice, gymnastics, or some stupid irrelevant shit I had begged my parents into letting me do.
I sat in the back of my dad’s Buick, upset at them both because they said I couldn’t go to my friend Margo’s 13th birthday party since her parents wouldn’t be there.
I wish I could say I didn’t remember anything about the accident, but I remember almost every detail down to the way that my dad hummed along to Foreigner's I Want to Know What Love Is as he held my mother's hand while occasionally looking over to make her smile. I saw my parents’ faces as they realized that they might not make it, the sounds my father made as he took his last breath and the words my mother said, pleading for God to spare me and take her instead.
I remember it all.
What I remember the most was what she said right before she took her last breath.
"Everything will be okay, Sweetheart. Just close your eyes, Davien will protect you."
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t close my eyes. I pleaded for her not to leave me. I screamed for her and dad to come back to me until it finally all went dark. Police had told my brother that the truck driver fell asleep. I woke up in the hospital a few days after.
When my brother walked in with the nurse and told me that my parents didn’t make it, though I already knew, something inside of me broke.
I was no longer the girl who talked too much, hung out with her friends too much, and had her whole life ahead of her.
I was now Thea Blake, the girl who saw her parents die, and it haunted me.
When the police asked if I remembered anything from the accident, I didn’t know what to do.
All I saw was the pained expression my brother had on his face as he stood in the corner of my hospital room, looking over at me.
My brother was older than me by eight years and spent most of his time away at college.
I had always looked up to him and his ability to make all of my problems go away, but as I looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes for the first time in my entire life, I knew I couldn’t put him through any more pain, so I lied and told them no.
But, I remembered everything, and I always hung on to my mother’s last words to me that my brother would protect me and keep me safe.
That was my whole reason for being in New Mexico. I had tried staying in California to finish out my last year in school, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I burned all my bridges and I couldn’t look back.
It all started a few weeks ago when I figured out that my ex, Marcus, was banging my so-called best friend Bridgette.
We had all been living together in Chase, her brother and my other best friend's, beach house.
I had been in bed sick and throwing up all morning, reeling from the night before, and when I woke up to Chase beside me in my bed instead of Marcus, I immediately got up to call him, only for him not to answer.
Bridgette was a socialite on campus. That girl knew how to party and make conversation with everyone, which is how we became friends.
She came up to me at a party once while we were studying abroad freshman year and we hit it off.
She had money and liked to party, and I had many demons I wanted to keep buried.
Every time Marcus was up to no good, she could track him down within minutes.
I gave her a call and she didn’t answer either, so I decided to check our friend tracking app we downloaded after too many nights of one of us blacking out and disappearing.
When the app loaded, I saw that it said they were together at a hotel not too far away, and I lost it. How could they be so stupid to keep their locations on? I leaned over the bed and shook Chase awake and his eyes shot open.
“What the fuck, T,” Chase spit out.
“Did you know that they were banging?” I shot back at him.
“Who? What the fuck are you talking about? Should you even be up right now?” he said, looking at my stomach.
“Who the fuck do you think? Marcus and your fucking back-stabbing sister.”
“Shit,” he whispered.
“I knew something was fishy. God, I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. Did you know?”
“Of course, I didn’t fucking know,” he said, getting out of bed.
Chase was a tall man, standing around 6’5”.
His height and muscle size would be considered intimidating if it weren’t for his playboy mentality.
He always looked like he stepped off of the cover of GQ.
Though he looked like a spoiled frat boy, he was far from that type, which is how we had become best friends.
His brown eyes held a darkness and behind his well-chiseled chest, there were the remaining pieces of a broken heart.
“After everything,” I trailed off.
I ran out of the room and went straight for Marcus’.
The smell of Luna Rossa Eau Sport was overpowering.
The smell that once turned me on made me almost gag.
Seeing a bottle of Jack on the nightstand by the bed, I grabbed it and took a swig.
I began pouring it all over my cheating ex’s bed.
How many other women had he had in it since we got together two years ago?
Too fucking many to count, and I had forgiven him every time.
I was a masochist in my own right, but the thought of my very own best friend, the one who I had once protected with my life and spent three months in pure hell for, being one of them, made tears pool in my eyes. Something I hadn’t done in years.
I grabbed a lighter and a sock off the floor and lit the sock on fire, quickly throwing it onto the alcohol-soaked bed.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought to myself as I watched the bed slowly ignite with flames. I hated crying. I hated feeling helpless and there I was doing whatever I could to make the pain stop. I wasn’t crying for the end of my relationship, I was crying because I had lost control.
Two days ago, he had convinced me I was making the right choice by going to the clinic, that it would save our relationship and help us focus on our future together.
I believed him, but now everything has changed.
I had spent all day going through the pain and mental torture alone while he was out banging one of the very few people that I had cared about.
It wasn’t like I loved Marcus, but I had gotten used to him.
I did care for Bridgette, though, and the sense of betrayal made my ears ring with pain.
I had spent the last two years wrapped up in Marcus and his shitty excuses, but this was the last straw.
Never again.
“Thea! Holy shit. Get the fuck back,” I heard Chase cry out as he pulled me from the flames.
“What the fuck are you thinking? Have you lost your fucking mind?” He said, as he used the fire extinguisher we keep by the stove to let out the fire.
“This isn’t healthy, T.” He pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, you’re my best friend, but this,” he gestured to the charred bed, “Isn’t healthy. You set my fucking house on fire.”
It wasn’t his house that I set on fire. Just my cheating-asshole-of-an-ex’s bed.
“Here,” I said, grabbing my phone and sending him the rest of the money I had for rent that summer.
Fuck.
“Use that to pay for the damages. I’m sorry, Chase. It was just too much. I wasn’t trying to disrespect you or your house. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“I know, kid. That’s the problem.”
“Look, I’m sorry, but you can’t stay here anymore,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “I don’t want to kick you out. Hell, I’d rather kick Marcus’ ass and send him packing, but that wouldn’t do him any good. This would do you some good, though.”
Chase pulled out of the hug but kept me close. He moved a piece of my blonde hair out of my face and wiped the tears coming from my eyes with his thumbs. He was the only person I ever really cried in front of.
Still holding on to my face, he looked deep into my eyes and said, “You need to figure your shit out.”
As he kissed the top of my head and walked away, a feeling washed over me that I was all too familiar with.
Once again, I was alone.
“You need to figure your shit out,” Chase’s voice echoed in my head and I chuckled.
I took a sip of my drink and I took a look around.
Many people crowded the club, which is why I chose to go to Jynx.
It was rated highly and was a popular bar, which meant I was able to blend in easily.
I never liked to stand out too much, my past wouldn’t let me.
With so many faceless people surrounding me vying to be the center of attention, I had nothing to worry about.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t judging them. I was jealous, which is why I was there tonight. To have one moment, one night to forget who I was and let go.
Tonight, I wasn’t the sad little Orphan Annie, a girl running from the devil, or hell, Marcus’ ex.
No, tonight, I was just a girl in a dress sitting alone at the bar.
This is why I pulled out all the stops. I left my typical “Good Girl” apparel at home and swapped it for a tight red-leather body-con dress that clung to my full body like life support.
My curly black hair was currently braided under a long blonde wig, which made my dark skin glow even more under the club lights.
My shoes made my 5’3” frame sit up to be about six inches taller, and I wore more makeup than I typically do.
I did a smoky eye with sharp wings and fake lashes and I topped it off with dark red lipstick to complement my dress.
Back at school, I blended in with the narcissistic, stuck-up rich kids.
But here, I was just being myself and didn’t have to worry about putting on a front to fit in.
Tonight, I was India Matthews, 26 and from Chicago. At least, that is what my ID said. I couldn’t take any chances even when I felt like safety was only a few miles away.
The sound of Nights Like This by Kehlani filled the air, and a smile crept on my face. I loved this song. I gave the dance floor another scan and watched as people danced to the music.
I felt a strange feeling like I was being watched and I quickly looked around, making contact with one of the sexiest men I had ever seen in my life.
He gave me a quick knowing smirk and he immediately got up. Fuck, was he coming over here?
A few moments later, the man stood before me.
When he was seated at the table across the club, my eyes weren’t doing me justice.
He looked like the type of man that could make any woman fall with the right smirk.
He was tall with shaggy blonde hair that made his blue eyes brighter and he was covered in tattoos that peeked from the sleeves of his white T-shirt.
He was wearing a leather vest and, because of my long nights at shady bars with Bridgette, I knew he was part of a motorcycle club.
I quickly scanned his patch, and it read Martyrs in Mayhem MC and the words Prez.
“If you keep staring at me like that, I might let you buy me a drink,” a deep voice playfully said to me.