Chapter 17 Thea
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat next to a snoring Chase. The memories flooded my mind from the night before, and I grimaced. I looked at my phone and saw that it was seven in the morning.
Fuck. My head was pounding as I looked at the empty bottle of vodka on the bed.
After I came down from my panic attack, Chase had taken me upstairs to drink it off.
He always knew how to fix me like that, though it had only ever been that bad a few times.
When I was stressed out, sirens could trigger me and make me feel like the little girl stuck in a wrecked vehicle who watched her parents die again.
It’s hard to get their voices out of my head, the noises they made, the sound of sirens approaching in the distance. I don’t like to talk about that day, which is why Chase knew getting me drunk and asleep was the best option for me in that state.
I got up and headed downstairs. I needed to find Marcus, but I needed coffee first. Before I could pray no one was downstairs, I saw Maverick, Dav, Serena, Anna and Bridgette in the kitchen. Bridgette looked like she got hit by a truck and that put a smile on my face. If only I had been driving it.
“Good morning,” Serena chirped. I wasn’t surprised she was in a good mood. She’s always in a good mood.
“Where’s my brother?” Bridgette asked me. “Upstairs,” I said. She gave me a look of defeat and I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Can we talk later?” I nodded, not wanting to make a scene, and she headed upstairs.
“I don’t know how you’re friends with that bitch,” Anna said as she bit into her bacon. “You and me both,” I said, pouring myself a cup of coffee.
“Thea,” came from Ares. I peered in his direction. “I’m sorry-“ he began to say but with a wave of my hand, I cut him off, “Don’t.”
“No, listen,” he said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room.
Luckily no one was in there. “I didn’t know how to start this conversation before, so I’ve been putting it off.
When our parents died, I checked out. I didn’t have my shit together and I didn’t know how to raise a kid, so I did what I thought was best.”
I huffed.
“I know what I thought was best wasn’t actually best,” he continued and peered down at the ground. “I should have been there for you back then, and I can’t go back, but I’m here now. You can stay for however long you like. I want you here, we want you here.”
I looked up at him, letting a few moments of silence pass between us.
These were the words I’ve wanted to hear for so long.
I missed having a family and a sense of belonging.
No, I would never be able to hear my dad sing poorly to classic rock songs again or get my nails done at the salon with my mom, but I could still spend time with my brother.
The only family I had left. That thought warmed my heart, which was probably why I finally decided to open up, even just a little bit.
“I lied,” I said, swallowing down the saliva forming in my mouth. “I didn’t black out. I remember everything up until being pulled out of the car.”
He looked at me dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because,” I shrugged and took a seat on the couch. “When I woke up in the hospital, I saw the looks on everyone’s face, your face, and I could tell I was already being put into a box. Damaged. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore by worrying about me.”
“Thea,” he grabbed his neck and took a seat beside me. “How much do you remember?”
“All of it. The minutes leading up to it, the sound dad made as he took his last breath, what mom said before she followed,” I answered. I quickly wiped the tears from my face. I was in too much pain to feel embarrassed.
“You have PTSD,” he stated, and I nodded. He sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. “We’re going to get you a doctor,” he said.
At that, I jumped up from the couch. “Hell no!”
“Thea,” he said as he joined me standing.
“Fuck that,” I yelled. “That’s why I didn’t fucking tell you. I’m not some fucking nutjob that needs to be locked up!”
“I didn’t fucking say you were,” he barked back. “I have PTSD, too. Hell, most of the guys here do, from the war. Even your little boyfriend. It’s nothing to be ashamed about!”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but it made me pause. I forgot that he’d gone to war and that I might not be the only person carrying ghosts around this place.
“I’m serious, Thea. You need help, especially if you’re experiencing such strong triggers.”
“Only when I’m stressed out,” I interrupted.
“Still,” he pleaded. “Don’t do what I did and push everyone away because you can’t handle your demons. Take that shit head on now, so you can move past it.”
“Move past it,” I repeated. Mostly to myself to see how the words sounded in my own voice to me. The idea was almost foreign, like I had already accepted that people like me don’t get to move on from the past, they just find a new way to live around the pain.
“I want you to stay here for the rest of the summer,” he said and I looked up at him shocked. This was a complete 180 from the hardass who stood in front of me a week ago. “I’ll get you set up with a doctor you can talk to and we can go from there. It’s not negotiable, by the way. You’re staying.”
Thoughts of Matteo flooded my mind, and I tried to push back a grimace from appearing on my face.
It’s not safe for the club for me to be here, but how do I leave now?
If Dav doesn’t hunt me down, Maverick surely would.
I would have to come up with an escape plan quickly, but until then, I’d just have to go with it.
I nodded in response. He then asked me something that shocked me. “What were her last words?”
“That you’d always protect me,” I whispered and, to my surprise, tears welled into his eyes and he pulled me in for a hug. Something we hadn’t done in years. “I’m sorry,” he said. I hugged him tighter and told him it was okay.
For a moment, a few seconds in what felt like many, I let myself believe that it would be.
***
“Can you introduce me to your hot friend?” Anna said with imaginary heart eyes popping out of her head.
“You mean Chase?” I laughed. We were back in the kitchen eating breakfast. Hollywood, Crash and a few of the other members had joined the group.
Serena was sitting on Dav’s lap, and Maverick was sitting by me scrolling on his phone.
“Yes,” she cooed. “The way he carried you in here, god my ovaries.”
“Gross,” Crash said as if he was disgusted. “I’m eating.” She just rolled her eyes and continued to list out why she thought he was hot. I didn’t miss Hollywood’s pissed off facial expression as he tried to look like he wasn’t listening.
“Oh sweet virgin Anna,” I joked. “He would tear you apart.”
“What do you mean?” She gaped. “He’s a total frat boy.”
“A frat boy who is known as the campus’ very own Christian Grey. There was once a rumor that he boned a girl and she had to stand in all of her classes for a whole week.”
Anna gaped. “A week and a half, but her parents were going through a divorce,” Chase said as he walked into the room giving the gaping Anna a smirk.
He still looked exhausted, but humor had always been our medicine.
“I consider myself a therapist of sorts,” he said and I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “And don’t kink shame me, Draft Queen. ”
I groaned. I hated that nickname. They gave it to me after one drunken night of truth or dare when I had to tell them about all of the guys I’ve dated. Apparently, I have a tendency to date the most dominant men in the room, which is bullshit.
“Don’t call me that, asshat,” I said as I flung my toast at him. He chuckled as he caught the toast and started eating it.
“What does that mean?” Anna asked.
“It means she only dates men like she’s drafting some type of fantasy team,” he said, sitting down with a cup of coffee. “Which is completely untrue,” I added.
“Sure it is,” Anna smirked and slapped her hand on Maverick’s shoulder, in which he laughed a sexy, dark laugh.
“Not fair,” I argued. “He approached me!”
“Okay,” Chase teased. “Let’s see. There’s Marcus who all of the frat boys worship on campus. Then there was the captain of the hockey team in high school, that emo prick who fronted the garage band, and the lacrosse captain.”
“Can’t forget about our little trip to Italy,” Bridgette sneered from the door frame and that sucked the playful energy right out of the room.
“Fuck you, Bridgette,” I said rolling my eyes. “Why did you even come here? You do realize that it’s desperate as fuck to follow your man across the country to try and win back his ex, right? Fucking weirdo.”
“You would know about desperate wouldn’t you?”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” I laughed, noticing that once again, the room was quiet and everyone was looking at us.
“It means that you’re an attention whore. You can’t stand the attention to not be on you, Draft Queen.” She emphasized the stupid nickname as if to say it showed my desperation.
I laughed at her as I took a bite out of my food.
“You know what,” I said, swallowing my food and standing up from the table. “That chat you mentioned, let’s have it now. Chase, you and Bimbo Barbie meet me in Marcus’ room in fifteen.”
She gave me a shocked expression and I shoulder checked her on my way out. I didn't know what was going to happen during this chat, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good.