Chapter 18 Thea
Stepping into the room where Marcus was staying, I saw him propped on his elbows scrolling through his phone.
For a man who just had an overdose, he sure didn’t show it.
Probably because this wasn’t his first rodeo.
In fact, it wasn’t any of ours, which is why we always had Narcan on us when we went out.
It was an unspoken rule between us, which came in handy more than once.
“Hey,” I said to test the waters. “Hey,” he responded, just as nervous. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore as a bitch, but I’ll be okay.”
I nodded. “So about last night.”
“You mean our conversation before I overdosed?” he deadpanned.
“Yeah, that’s the one,” I trailed.
“I love you, Thea,” he pleaded, getting up from the bed and standing in front of me. I shook my head and simply said, “You don’t.”
“I do.”
“No, this,” I gestured between us. “Isn’t love.”
“It is for us,” he said, stepping closer to me.
“You did this to me, T. I wasn’t this type of person before I met you.
You say that you’re mine, that you love me, but then you push me away.
You don’t open up to me about shit, and then you run off and tell Chase every little fucking thing about your day.
The only way I can get you to show me any kind of emotion is by hurting you by fucking around. ”
“That’s unfair,” I pleaded.
“It’s the fucking truth and you know it!
The reason you keep coming back, the reason you keep forgiving me, is because you know it, too,” he continued.
“You need me to be your bad guy, the villain in your story in order for you to make the ones hiding under your bed and in your closet seem not as bad, but as soon as you feel like you don’t need me anymore then you don’t until you do! It’s bullshit!”
“No, what you’re saying is bullshit!” I yelled, hoping no one could hear us arguing. “You’re painting me out to be some kind of masochist and you are the dutiful servant willing to do my bidding! You’re a cheater and a liar and you can’t use your insecurities as a scapegoat, Marcus.”
“You would know all about that wouldn’t you?”
“I’m so fucking sick of you and Bridgette’s secondhand comments. God, maybe you two are made for each other,” I spit back.
“I’m not with Bridgette,” he quipped. “Of course you aren’t. You’re just fucking your best friend’s sister who is obsessed with you for the fun of it. Everyone is all but just a player in Marcus’ sick game to win my love.”
“Did you forget what just happened?” his voice began to raise. “We just found out that you were pregnant and not even for one second did you think about keeping it, you selfish bitch!”
“That’s not fair, and you know it!”
“No, what’s not fair is my girl of two years not even considering a real future with me for one second.”
“A future?” I mocked. “During the past two years we’ve been together, you’ve fucked half of campus and the other half you just haven’t gotten their numbers yet.”
“What about you? Did you even wait for my baby to be dead before you hopped into bed with someone else, but that’s your specialty isn’t it!”
His words felt like a gut punch to my stomach and my face fell.
It was a low blow, one meant to sting and it did.
He was referencing our current situation and how we had met not too long after I had left Italy where I miscarried with Matteo’s baby.
It was all of my strength not to punch the motherfucker in the face, but before I could get a chance, Chase stormed into the room and pushed him up against the wall, driving his fist into Marcus’s face again and again.
“Okay! He’s had enough, Chase,” Bridgette screamed from behind me. “Shut the door,” I yelled to her.
I took a deep breath in to try and calm down. It was time for us to hash this shit out, right then and there.
“We are ending this now,” I said as I looked at my three friends around the room. “If we don’t, we are all going to end up dead and it won’t matter whose fucking who and why then.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Before I could get the words out, Bridgette interrupted me. “I lied,” she said, and all of their eyes shot to me.
“About what?” I asked.
“I haven’t been getting calls from Oceanside.”
“What?” Marcus, Chase and I said in unison.
“I know,” Bridgette said with tears forming in her eyes.
“I fucked up, and I’m not just talking about the calls.
I didn’t mean to hurt you, Thea. You weren’t talking to me, and I knew that you wouldn’t even try to hear me out unless you had a reason to, so I lied and faked the calls from Oceanside, which was pointless seeing as you still didn’t even try to reach out,” she rambled on as tears were cascading down her face.
I looked at her dumbfounded. I didn’t even know how to respond to her. This whole time, I was thinking that Matteo and his mafia were close to finding us and then I learned that it was all a lie. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or pissed as hell. Maybe a little bit of both.
“Bridgette,” Chase said with a bowed head.
Very few moments in my life do I feel like I don’t have control, but as I looked at Bridgette and her crocodile tears, I stopped seeing my best friend.
The woman I went to hell for to save and the one I would quickly go back to protect.
I started to see her for what she truly became, a complication.
For a split second, I let the anger take over me and I reached into my pocket and grabbed my pocket knife, pushed her against the wall, and pressed it against her neck.
She let out a shriek that I was sure the whole house could hear as the boys called my name, begging for me to step back.
“Do you think this is a fucking game?” I spit.
I didn’t want to kill her. Truthfully, I didn’t even want to hurt her, but I was tired of Bridgette’s constant battles with the rest of us.
Her insistent need to not listen to what we say or follow the decisions we made together and how it kept putting us all at risk.
This is the fucking mafia we were dealing with, not some crazy ex-boyfriend, but the leader of the Italian fucking mafia.
She needed to bow down or bow out, and I was determined to make her choose.
She shook her head carefully to not press the knife further as more tears were coming from her eyes.
“Do you realize that every time you ignore what we say or make up lies or do some other ignorant ass shit that you’re jeopardizing all of our lives, not just your own?
” She shook her head again as she rambled out apologies.
“Do you not care about your fucking life because if so, I’ll fucking end it now!
” I yelled. My voice didn’t sound like my own at this moment, but I couldn’t help but channel all of the rage I felt locked up in Matteo’s house and how it was all because she didn’t know how to leave well-enough alone.
I couldn’t forget how he would always remind me that he had only gone for her because he knew it was the only way to get to me, and he was right.
If Bridgette had just walked away the first time I said he made me uncomfortable, then none of this would’ve happened.
Matteo would have found a new plaything and moved on, but that’s not how our story was written and the pen was in the hands of an insecure little girl who wanted the attention of the wrong powerful rich man, at whatever cost.
I saw her head start to shake, and old Thea was slowly returning to me. “You have a choice. Either choose to fucking listen to us or I fucking slit your throat right here and right now because you might want to risk your life for petty games but I’m not and neither is Chase or Marcus.”
“Okay,” she choked out. “I’ll listen.”
“You’re going to pack your shit up and finish the rest of your summer with your parents.
You’re going to keep your fucking head down and not say shit to anyone and, if Chase asks you to do something, even if he is asking you to stay home the next semester, you’re going to fucking listen, the first time. ”
I continued when I saw her nod. “I’m not doing this with you anymore, Bridgette.
I fucking mean it. I forgive you, okay? Actually, I fucking thank you because if you didn’t do what you did, I wouldn’t have left to find my brother or met Ma-,” I stopped myself, quickly.
“So stop worrying about us. We’re cool, I know what happened fucked with you too, but you need to work on your shit just like I’m working on mine. Okay?”
I let her go and she slumped to the floor crying as she mumbled the words thank you over and over. Bridgette was a very broken girl, I knew that the moment I met her, which is why I will always love her, despite my better judgment.
“It’s time for you all to go home,” I said to Chase and Marcus with heavy breaths and they nodded their heads in agreement.
I stepped over Bridgette and headed back to my room.
Thankfully, the boys were in Church and no one was in the living room, which means the likelihood of someone hearing what had just gone down was slim.
I laid in my bed and started to shake. I wasn’t sure why, but I just assumed it was the adrenaline catching up to me once again.
These past two days have been a rollercoaster of emotion for me.
From Maverick taking me out and then asking me to go undercover.
My ex-boyfriend showing up to proclaim his love for me but overdosing before he could get the words out, a panic attack triggered by the sirens on the way to pick up said ex-boyfriend, my absent brother apologizing and asking me to move in with him, and then lastly, but not least, holding a knife to my best friend’s neck and threatening to slit her throat because she lied about getting calls from the mafia leader who is currently stalking me.
With all that in mind, my body was definitely allowed to shake a little, and puking in the trash can beside my bed was also okay, which is exactly what I did before I finally fell asleep.