Chapter 13 #2
“Thank you,” Vektal says, and clasps Chatav’s hand. “You are welcome back to visit at any time, of course. My people will welcome you with open arms.” His words are directed at Chatav, but I suspect they are for Farli.
“I do not think this is likely, Chief Vektal,” Chatav says with a polite smile. “Your planet is out of the way of most shipping lanes. But I thank you for the offer. If there is nothing further, then we must be on our way.”
There’s nothing more to do or say. Farli gives her family another quick, tearful goodbye, and Chompy bleats miserably as we head back to the Lady.
We are all silent as we ride up the pulley-platform, the only sound that of Farli’s quiet crying.
Niri makes an impatient sound, and I shoot her an incredulous look.
Is she truly so heartless? Farli is losing everything.
But the medic only rolls her eyes at me and crosses her arms over her chest.
And these are the people I am bringing Farli to live with. Gods help us both. They are cold and unfeeling down to a man, and Farli’s warmth will be lost on them. Am I dooming her to unhappiness?
She takes my hand as we move toward the Lady, and her fingers are cold against mine. Her hand is trembling, and it is the first time I have ever felt Farli be afraid. I hate this. I hate everything about it. It feels wrong. Just flat-out wrong.
Farli and I are the last ones in the ship.
She watches as the door closes slowly, her last glimpse of her icy home falling away to metal.
Then the doors are closed and there’s nothing more to see.
Farli turns to me, and she tries to smile brightly, but I can tell she’s hurting.
I cup her face and kiss it gently. “I love you.”
“Enough of that,” Niri says, heading toward med bay. “I’ll warm up the machines. Send her my way and I’ll get that parasite out of her in no time.”
Farli flinches. I do, too. A parasite. That’s all it is to everyone else.
To them, the khui isn’t a helpful thing or something that chooses a mate.
There’s no reason to think there’s a connection between two people other than biological.
And yet…everyone in the village is happy with their khui-chosen mate.
And Farli’s khui has chosen me, and I’ve fallen in love with her in an incredibly short amount of time.
It’s like the thing wants what is truly best for her.
And she’s giving everything up to be with me.
The thought of being left behind fills me with a sick terror, but the thought of letting the warmth and light inside of Farli be destroyed by taking her away? That decides it.
The engines start to power up. Trakan has to be starting the ship.
There’s no reason to delay, not any longer.
I need to act now. I move to the wall and grab the emergency alert handle and twist it.
A klaxon sounds through the ship, alerting the bridge to abort the take-off.
Farli looks at me in surprise, rubbing her ear at all the noise. “What is it, Mardok?”
I turn back to her, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Do you want to stay, Farli?”
Panic crosses her face. “I do not want to leave you—”
I correct her quickly. “That’s not what I’m asking. Do you want to stay? Because if you want to stay, I’ll stay with you.”
She sucks in a breath, her eyes wide. “But that is your greatest fear, Mardok. Being left behind. I would not do that to you.”
I take her hands in mine and bring them to my mouth, kissing her knuckles.
“I think it would be worse to take you away and watch you be forced to change. I love who you are, Farli. I love that naked, wild girl that I met a few days ago. The one that put my hand on her breast and kissed me. The one that’s carefree and unbroken by society’s rules.
And I think…I think leaving would be a mistake.
I think it would crush who you are, and I love you too much for that to happen. ”
Tears shimmer in her glowing blue eyes. “But…what about you?”
I try to laugh, even though I’m choking with panic. “I’m gonna need my hand held for a few days, I think, until I get used to the concept of being left behind. But I think I can handle it, as long as I’m with you.”
She flings her arms around my neck and kisses my face, over and over again. “Oh, Mardok! You would stay? Truly?”
“For you, I’ll do anything—”
“What’s going on?” Niri comes racing into the corridor, followed by Trakan and Chatav. She’s got a fierce frown on her face. “What the kef, Vendasi?”
“I’m staying,” I tell her bluntly. “I’m not taking Farli away from her world.”
Niri gives me an incredulous look. “You can’t be serious.”
“I gotta second that, Vendasi,” Trakan says. “You’d be crazy to stay. It’s nothing but ice and snow. No cities, no nothing. There’s nothing here.”
That’s where they’re wrong. Farli’s here. Her warm, loving people are here. There’s a life for us together here, and a child. That’s enough for me. I turn to Farli and smile, decided. “Shall we rejoin the others and give them the news?”
She hugs me again, her eyes brimming with joy instead of tears. “The tribe will celebrate! There will be a feast tonight in your honor.”
All I really want to do is go back to her house and curl up with her, but I nod. “Feast sounds good. As long as I’m with you, everything’s good.”
Her hand clutches mine tightly, and she’s radiant in her happiness. This is the right thing, I know it is.
“Well damn, if there’s a party, I wanna stay another night, too,” Trakan says. “We gotta send our boy off in style.”
Chatav just sighs and rubs his brow. “Another delay?”
The last one. I won’t be around for the next. I swallow the fear in my gut and hold Farli tightly.
In the end, there is a party. A big party.
The sa-khui tribe is overjoyed at Farli’s return and my status as the newest tribesmate.
I’m showered in hugs and given tunics and food and everything under the sun as housewarming presents.
Plans are made for the morning—we’ll be up early to hunt some big creature and get a khui for me.
For some reason, I’m calm. I’m no longer panicked like I was before at the thought of being left behind.
I’m not, not really. Everything’s here. With Farli at my side, I’m never truly going to be alone ever again.
And while it’s a little worrying to think about staying on this primal planet for the rest of my life, there are things to look forward to.
I’ll get to tinker with the Elders’ Cave some more.
I’ll get to go on more hunts with Farli’s brothers, and I might actually get good at it someday.
If nothing else, I’d love to be half as athletic as them.
More than anything else, I’m looking forward to being with Farli, now and forever.
And, all right, I’m looking forward to impregnating her. What man in his right mind wouldn’t?
The celebration is a rowdy one, and people drink lots of sah-sah.
Trakan’s got his head together with his buddies Bek and Vaza, I guess getting a few last-minute bootleg liquor deals in.
Niri remained only briefly, then returned to the ship with a cursory hug for me.
I wonder if we were ever friends or if I’ve just imagined it.
Maybe Niri truly does need no one. The thought makes me a little sad.
Captain Chatav moves to my side and comes to sit next to me by the fire. He’s silent, and I wait for him to reproach me. To lecture me on leaving him without a mechanic for the rest of the haul. But when he finally looks over at me, he nods. “You’re doing the right thing.”
“I am?” I’m surprised to hear that coming from him.
“Indeed. Look at how happy you’ve made her.” He nods to Farli, who is sitting with her mother, painting a replica of my tattoo on her mother’s arm. She glances over at me and gives me a radiant smile full of promise.
I can’t help but grin back at her. I’m stupidly happy, too.
I don’t ever remember being quite so happy.
“It feels like the right thing, you know? I don’t have anyone waiting for me at home.
Seemed wrong to pull her from everything she loves just because I don’t like snow.
” I’m downplaying it a bit, of course, but Chatav doesn’t need to know about my hang-ups.
“Whatever the reason, I’m glad. You shouldn’t end up a lonely old man like me.”
And again, I’m surprised. “Did you have someone you left behind, Captain?”
His smile is faint. “Why do you think I made a career of the military? Once upon a time, there was nothing left for me, either.” He gets to his feet and straightens his clothing.
“I’m cold. I’m heading back to the Lady.
Send Trakan up when he’s done drinking, will you?
We’ll leave at first light in the morning. ”
He extends his hand to me.
I get to my feet and take it. “You’re a good man, Captain.”
“It’s been an honor to serve with you, Vendasi.” He smiles, and then adds, “Mardok.”
And kef, I’m getting choked up. I grip his arm, full of respect for this man.
“I’ve got a few years’ pay saved up in my cabin.
Box of credit chits stashed under my mattress.
I want you to take it. It’s not much, but it’ll help pay for any problems with this shipment.
” I think for a moment, and then add, “And might want to give some to Niri. She’s probably pissed that the tribe cleaned out some of her med bay supplies. ”
The captain nods. “Thank you.”
He turns and leaves, and I watch him go.
Like Niri, I wonder if I truly knew the man or if I’ve just been so wrapped up in my own head that I’ve pushed everyone away.
Everyone except Farli. Too late to mend that now.
Maybe I’ll see the captain again someday.
Probably not, but if I do, I’ll buy him a drink and a meal.