Chapter 11 Curveball
Chapter eleven
Curveball
Godwin
What the hell was I supposed to do with Derby’s persistence? I had such mixed feelings about having a relationship with him. We’d had such an amazing time, but the house was turned over, and Derby surely had way more important things to do with his time.
I took a swig of beer, but it didn’t make me feel better. I turned off the TV and headed to my room. After changing into a pair of boxers, I headed back to my makeshift office. I’d seen Derby’s email earlier but hadn’t wanted to face it.
If we continued, I would hurt him. I had no doubt about that. I was too set in my ways.
I typed my password in and stared at the message. I had to admit I liked that Derby was thinking about me, but this would only get both of us hurt in the end. Eventually, Derby was going to realize what he’d gotten himself into. He didn’t need this broken man holding him back.
He pushed for more when he should have ran the other way. He was an amazing person, so full of life. He went after what he wanted, while I hid behind my company and accepted the way things were, too afraid to change.
My hand hovered over the keyboard, and I wondered what we could have if things were different—if I were different.
I balled my hands into fists, admitting there was a part of me that was angry over what I was about to do.
I wanted him. I wanted what he offered, and that was a lot more than good sex.
He was offering me a different path. A future. With him.
But I didn’t think it was truly possible. He would inevitably push too far and I would crack, bringing him down with me.
Because I was afraid.
I typed out a note before I changed my mind. I could so easily go either way on this, but ultimately, it was Derby’s well being I was thinking of. It would be best for both of us to end this now.
I don’t need your schedule. Thank you.
Please leave me alone.
I hit send.
There. Done. I’d broken my own heart before giving Derby a chance to do it, but this way, Derby’s heart was protected, too. Because hurting Derby was the worst thing I could ever do, and I couldn’t live with that.