Chapter 2
Cassidy
It was only just a dream
What the hell? Where am I? What happened to me?
My eyes widen with panic as I adjust to my surroundings.
Wait a second. I look around at the sage-colored walls decorated with random posters of various musicians from Pink to Panic!
At The Disco. A dresser-vanity made of oak covered with various beauty items stands before me.
On the wall closest to the door is a walk-in closet cut from the same material as the dresser.
My eyes fall to the queen-size bed covered in a forest green comforter, buried beneath an alarming amount of throw pillows that complement the wall perfectly.
Across the room is a bay window overlooking my grandparents’ yard and the lake where the neighborhood kids play.
I’m in Avery’s childhood bedroom. But how did I get here?
I scrub my hand down my face, but the scene doesn’t change. I run my fingers through my hair, racking my brain while questions flood my system like those severe weather alerts. The last thing I remember is feeling cold and alone.
My body shivers and my teeth chatter. Thoughts of crawling under the covers of Avery’s bed to defrost the iceberg that has formed around my body has never felt more enticing.
Instead, I focus on the sounds around me.
The birds chirping. The cars rushing by.
The faint sounds of children laughing while they play.
It makes me crave the boy I once was. The boy who, with the help of his grandparents, finally escaped from the big bad wolf.
The faint sound of a siren makes my stomach churn and my brows scrunch with confusion at such a visceral response. Where did that come from? It’s as if my brain and body are trying to communicate, but are speaking two different languages.
“Cas? Honey, are you hungry?” Avery asks, her voice floating up from downstairs. Hearing her speak sounds like drinking hot cocoa on a cold evening. I grin and rush downstairs like a kid on Christmas morning, eager to tear through their presents.
There she is, my beautiful Avery, with her hair piled atop her head in a messy bun.
She wears a lavender pajama set and her feet are bare.
She’s humming quietly to herself, but just loud enough for me to hear the smooth melody of Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley.
My girl is a talented musician, but I wish she saw herself through my eyes.
If she could do that, there would be no room for doubt in her head.
She’s beautiful, kind, and the most incredible person I know.
Acting on instinct, I walk toward Avery, wrapping her in my arms and reveling in her touch.
I bury my face in the crook of her neck, allowing the warmth of her body and sweet scent to ground me.
She startles for a second, caught off guard, before melting into me.
What’s happening right now has to be real. It would be cruel if it weren’t.
“I love it when you sing.”
Even though I can’t see her, I know she’s scrunching up her face in disgust. I spin her around so that she’s facing me. She lets out a surprised gasp and her eyes widen when she looks at my face.
“Avery. When you sing, your soul transports to another world. When you sing, you and the music become one.”
My words come out breathless only because I feel so passionately about this. Tears glisten in her eyes, so I gather her against my chest and allow her to feel. She wraps her arms around me and we hold each other in comfortable silence.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I pull back just enough so that I can see her face. “For what?”
“For saying that. For being here. Most importantly, for being you, Cas.” Her words are love arrows to the heart.
My lips graze her forehead before I remove myself from her arms as the sudden urge to dance with her takes hold of my mind.
I glance around the kitchen, searching for my phone, only to come up empty.
“Are you looking for this?” she asks while holding my phone in her hands. I grab it and, without hesitation, find the song she was humming earlier. I put it on the highest volume before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards me.
She lets out a sultry laugh, throwing her head back, giving me perfect access to her throat. My thoughts turn from innocent to dirty in seconds, but she's facing me again before I can act on them. As we sway to the music, I can’t help thinking I could get used to this.
I love having her this close to me, feeling her heartbeat fall into rhythm with mine. At this moment, the outside world ceases to exist. It’s just Avery and me in the kitchen, swaying to the soothing sounds of Elvis.
She tilts her head up towards me and opens her mouth, but instead of words coming out, all I hear is a siren.
I shake my head and try to focus on what she is trying to say, but the sound of the siren intensifies.
Suddenly, everything is fuzzy and the scene before me disintegrates like sugar in hot coffee.
This new scene is hectic and fuck, it’s bright. Can someone turn down the goddamn lights?
“He’s back!” someone shouts. He’s back? Who’s back? Who are they talking about? And do they have to talk so loud? My head feels like it's about to split in half.
I try to move, but I’m trapped. The same person who shouted moments ago is pushing my head down and telling me to relax. They may tell me to relax, but it makes me panic even more. What the fuck is happening?
“Stop moving or you’ll make it worse. Just try to rest. We’ll be at the hospital soon,” another person says.
Wait—hospital? What do they mean by the hospital? Why am I going there?
“Avery? What happened to Avery? Where is she?” I croak out. Panic floods my system as thoughts of us dancing in the kitchen infiltrates my brain.
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know who that is,” the first man says.
“Where is Avery? How did you find me? Why did you take me away from her?” I’m becoming progressively more frantic with each question.
Why won’t they answer me? What do they mean they don’t know Avery? I was just with her, damn it. Are these people stupid?
“Sir, you weren’t with anyone. We found you in an alley alone.” His tone is worried. Wait, they found me alone in an alley? So, if what these people are saying is true, did all that happen with Avery? I try to hold onto the memory with her, but then I start to question if it was a memory or—
Of course it was a fucking dream. Knowing everything was nothing but a fantasy means Avery and I aren’t together.
Hell, we aren’t even friends. Chaos surrounds me.
People are shouting random numbers that make no sense to me.
My body shakes and bumps periodically as I feel the pressure of multiple hands holding me down.
My body may be still, but my mind is still racing with thoughts of Avery.
Then I hear that sound again—the one Avery made in my dream—and it has me panicking.
The second my heart rate increases, I hear this irritating noise.
It started out rhythmic, but quickly picked up speed before letting out one long shriek.
My eyes roll back into my head, but not before the feeling of three consecutive jolts hit me in the chest as blackness swallows me whole.
I attempt to hold onto the slowly fading memory of Avery, wanting more than anything to drown in her emerald-green eyes and get lost in her beauty.
But of course, I don’t get what I want. Instead, I see an image of me curled under a metal fire escape next to a dumpster that reeks of dirty diapers and expired food.
My body shakes so violently you would think someone was tasing me.
Everything is in fast-forward mode, making what I see difficult to comprehend.
My vision is hazy around the edges. One moment, I see something pierce my skin, and then next, I collapse to the ground.
My heart beats at an alarming rate and my body starts to convulse. Wait, am I being electrocuted?
“His heart rate is getting too high,” a man shouts at someone. “Cassidy, can you hear me? Cassidy? Damn it, we’re gonna lose him. Fuck, we need to hurry.”
It’s hard to focus on anything except my body rebelling against me, but I can still hear the faint sound of the siren. Is that a horn? Fuck, that sound is annoying and does nothing to stop this weird sensation radiating through me.
After what feels like a lifetime, I feel the cold air whipping against my face. I don’t remember it being this windy. Before I can even process what’s happening, the weather suddenly changes to warm.
What the fuck is going on? Am I hallucinating? Can someone even hallucinate the weather?
“Tell me what’s going on,” a man says. But wait, this isn’t the same man as before. The voice is deeper and raspier in tone. What in the ever-loving fuck is going on? And why isn’t someone trying to put a stop to the fucking madness that's happening inside my body?
“Drug-induced seizure. The patient's heart rate is all over the place. We found him in an alley—" There’s that word again. I wish they would stop bringing it up.
I’m just desperate for this feeling to stop.
If it stops, I can go to Avery and be the man I was in the dream.
I will do whatever it takes to be that person for her.
But instead, my eyes begin to flutter rapidly.
I hear the faint sounds of more shouting and a long, steady beep before everything fades to black for the second time.
My mind transports me to a new scene. A graveyard. What the fuck? Why am I in a cemetery? Who died? My stomach bottoms out, thinking of the people who could be buried here. Avery? My grandparents? My feet have a mind of their own as they pull me toward a random tombstone.
As I stand in front of the grave marker, I can’t help but think this isn’t right. I rub my eyes and the salt from my palms stings, but nothing changes when I remove my hands. The name I see is no one else's but my own. I move closer, afraid to touch it. It reads:
Cassidy Michael Andrews
Born April 5th, 1998—?
Wait, why is there a question mark next to it?
What does that mean? I’m in that Charles Dickens story, wanting to plead with whoever will listen that I’ll change.
I promise I’ll change my ways, that I’ll be better.
But no one is there, so I make a vow to myself.
I will be the man Avery always somehow saw in me.
This thought dances around in my head before I jolt back into the four walls of an unfamiliar room.
Panic bubbles in my throat as I take in my surroundings and realize where I am: in a hospital room, cold and alone.