Chapter 12
brOOKE
Iclose my door and rush over to my bag, head hung low.
Dread fills my stomach at the realization that I will have to sleep on a bench tonight.
I don’t want to bother Bear or anyone else with my problems. We had just such a good day, and I don’t want to spoil it.
I know the buys said they were going to go to a party.
I pick up a couple of pairs of pants and shirts and place them in my bag. I give one more look around the room, checking whether I left anything anywhere. Once I see that I have everything packed, I head to the door and open it.
The owner is standing outside with his hand held out. I place the key into his palm and walk toward the front entrance, not making eye contact with anyone.
“I don’t want to see you anywhere near this motel again. I will call the cops,” he shouts as I exit.
I pull my arms through my bag straps, walking down the street. I keep my eyes peeled for a bench I can sleep on tonight. The last bench I slept on was in a park just around the corner. No one bothered me last time, and I hope it is the same this time.
When I turn the corner, the bench is clear of people. No one is in the park, thankfully, since it’s getting late.
I whip my head around when I hear the roar of a bike. My whole body rests against the wall of the building with my head down. I don’t want any of the bikers to see me out here. Embarrassed that I got kicked out.
The biker stops a couple of stores down, gets off his bike, and heads into the store.
I exhale the breath I was holding and make my way toward the bench, dragging my feet.
I set my bag at the end of the bench. I turn around, looking over at the shops, and find the biker looking at me, but I don’t recognize him. Oddly, he is just looking at me.
I sit on the bench and stare at him. Why is he looking at me? I try not to make any subtle movements to throw the biker off. He turns around and heads into the coffee shop. Relieved, I let out a sigh. I lay down on the bench and close my eyes, hoping for a good night’s sleep.
Feeling a tug under my head, I open my eyes. Hands are all I see. Hands that are grabbing my bag, pulling it. Pain radiates through my head as I hit the hard bench. I groan and sit up slowly. The figure runs away with my bag, and I open my mouth to say something, but nothing will come out.
I sigh and lie back down on the couch. By the time I would have gotten up, the person would be too far away to run after them. I also don’t have anything valuable in there besides clothes.
I curl up the best I can on the bench and try to fall asleep. At this point, my body is on high alert, and I can’t relax. My body starts to slowly relax after a while, and I try to fall asleep again.
In the back of my mind, I hear the rumble of a motorcycle, but I pay no attention to it. I just want to fall asleep and deal with everything in the morning. My body relaxes even more as I get closer to falling asleep.
When hands are placed around my face, I open my eyes.
“Shhh. It’s okay. Why didn’t you tell me that you got kicked out of the motel and didn’t have anywhere to go?” Bear rubs his thumb over my cheeks.
I lean into his touch, but don’t meet his eyes. How did he find out? Realization hits me like a ton of bricks. The biker from earlier probably told him that I was on the bench.
“I would have come sooner, but the prospect didn’t find anything out until an hour ago. That stupid motel owner wouldn’t spill anything,” Bear mumbles toward the end.
I close my eyes again, almost falling asleep as Bear rubs my cheek. Much to my protest, Bear moves one of his hands and helps me sit up with my eyes closed.
“Let’s get you back to the club. You can sleep in my room,” he softly whispers to me.
Bear helps me up from the bench and toward his bike. The whole way, he has a hand around my waist as I lean into his embrace.
“I had Gears bring a car, and he’s going to ride my bike back.” Bear helps me into the passenger seat.
I numbly nod, not really paying attention to what is going on around me. I know Bear will take care of me and make sure I am safe. He reaches over my body and buckles me in, shutting the door and walking around. He slips into the car and turns it on.
“How long have you been outside? Where is your stuff?” Bear grabs my hand and rubs the back of it.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and start typing.
Since you, Whiskey, and Gears left the motel. Someone took my bag before you came.
I have yet to look into Bear’s eyes, can’t quite bring myself to do it. Embarrassed that I got kicked out and have nowhere to go. Embarrassed that my pride wouldn’t let me text him and ask him for a place to stay.
The more Bear reads, the more he growls and hits the steering wheel. I flinch at the sudden burst of sound. I look at his chest, not daring to meet his eyes.
“Why didn’t you text me?” he asks as he starts to drive.
He looks over at me, and I shrug. I don’t want to tell him that my pride got in the way. That I felt embarrassed about getting kicked out.
Bear sighs as he parks the car and turns toward me. He grabs both of my hands before talking.
“Don’t ever be embarrassed. You need something, you can always text me. Trust me, please.”
I keep looking at his chest. I’ve gone this far without looking into his eyes, and I’m not about to change that now for fear of what I’ll see.
“Look at me,” he says.
I lift my eyes to the bottom of his chin. He slightly shakes his head.
“Look at me up here.” He points toward his eyes.
I make no move to look into his eyes. It just doesn’t feel right to stare into them. One of his hands makes its way toward my face. I shut my eyes, waiting for some type of impact, but am met with his calloused hand softly gripping and lifting my chin.
“Open your eyes,” he demands.
I open my eyes, obliging to his demand. I expect to be met with an angry face, but am met with a small smile.
“I will never hit you,” he says, still holding my chin. “Do you understand?”
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat from my surprise at his sudden sentiment.
“Now, how about we go to my room and fall asleep?” He lets go of my chin, giving me a small smile.
He doesn’t wait for me to respond and gets out of the car. I wait patiently to see what Bear will do. I don’t want to do something else to irritate him.
“Come on, love, let’s get you to bed.” Bear opens the door.
I step out of the car, and Bear shuts it. He wraps his arm around my waist and leads me to the clubhouse. I stop in my tracks, not wanting everyone to see me walk into the club in the middle of the night.
“Don’t worry, they’re all asleep.” Bear starts walking again.
I relax as we make our way through the empty club. I know I am going to have to deal with all the guys finding out I slept in Bear’s room tomorrow, but that’s the least of my worries right now.
Bear and I walk into his room, and he heads into the closet. He brings out a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants, handing them to me.
“Go change in the bathroom, and then we can go to bed,” he says softly.
After locking the bathroom door, I change into his clothes without looking at myself in the mirror. I wrap my scarf around my neck and unlock the door, walking out.
“Why don’t you take off the scarf? It gets pretty hot in here. Last time, you were sweating.” Bear sits on the bed.
I stop walking and start to fidget. I don’t want to show my scars. I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing them, but at the same time, I am already sweating.
“You don’t have to, but I want you to be comfortable. I also want to let you know that just because you have scars, it doesn’t mean I don’t think you are beautiful. Your scars are beautiful,” he whispers, cupping my face.
I sigh into his hands, realizing that he makes me feel comfortable, and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let him in a little. I slowly lift my hands to my scarf and pause. I take a deep breath in and unravel a part of it.
Bear keeps eye contact with me the whole time. His gaze never leaves mine to gawk at my neck.
“Is it okay if I look? If you don’t want me to, I’ll get into bed first and close my eyes,” he says.
I nod. At some point, he is going to take a glance at my neck. I watch him intently as he looks at me. I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.
“Beautiful,” he whispers.
I look away. I can’t help but feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and my eyes water.
“Let’s get into bed.” He grabs my hands and pulls me toward the bed.
He pulls the covers back and climbs into the bed. He pats the spot right next to him, and I crawl into bed. I place my head on his chest as he wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.
“Goodnight, Brooke.” He kisses my head.
I snuggle my head into his chest and close my eyes, falling asleep.
“Can’t you do anything right?” Jared yells in my face.
I flinch as he raises his hand. I tried to make him dinner and accidentally overcooked his steak. He picks up his plate and throws it at me; luckily, he misses since he is drunk.
“I am so sick and tired of you being so imperfect.” He backs away from me.
I keep a watchful eye on him as he walks around. I am confused as to why he isn’t beating me. He walks into the kitchen, and I hear him rummaging. I try to pay attention, but I can’t tell what he is looking for.
“Maybe I should teach you a lesson. A lesson you won’t forget,” he says with a wicked smile on his face.
I back away from him, but run into a corner. This house is quite small, and I always manage to find myself in the corner of the room without even trying. I look to my side and realize I could make it past him.
“You aren’t getting away from me this time,” he says, moving in my way.
He brings something from behind his back, and before I can see what it is, he splashes the liquid all over me. I gasp when I see a lighter in his hand. No way. He wouldn’t.
“Please don’t,” I plead.
“This will teach you a lesson. A lesson to get everything right, or there will be major consequences,” he growls, flicking the lighter.
I move toward him, but before I can get away from him, he throws the lighter in my direction. In a couple of seconds, my whole body is in flames, and I scream out in pain.
“Die—”
“Brooke, you need to wake up! It’s just a nightmare,” someone says, bringing me out of my torture.
I gasp for breath and fling myself out of the bed. I look around the room with wide eyes, trying to catch my breath, but it’s difficult.
I grab my throat and back into a corner of the room. I slide down the wall, trying to get away.
“Brooke?” the person whispers.
I snap my head in their direction, but can’t make out their face or their voice. With one hand still on my neck, I leave my other hand and hold it up. I don’t want anyone near me, especially if I can’t see them. I try to find a way out of the room, but it is too dark.
Without warning, a light is turned on, and I have a hard time adjusting to the light.
“Everything is going to be all right,” the person says.
My eyes adjust, and I realize it is Bear in front of me. I flinch and move back, hitting my head against the wall. My breathing picks up as I panic, thinking he is going to hurt me. Everyone does in one way or another.
“Shhh. It’s okay, Brooke. No one is going to hurt you,” he calmly says.
I lock eyes with him and see that he is sincere, but my brain won’t fall for it. Jared tricked me so many times, and ended up giving me a beating after.
“I’m gonna touch you, okay? Just listen to my heartbeat, my steady breath,” he says.
Before I can say anything, he picks me up and places me in his lap. He guides my head to his chest and rests my ear over his heart.
“Just listen to my steady heartbeat, and follow my breathing.” He runs his hands through my hair.
I try to get out of his embrace, but his strong arms hold me in place. We sit in silence, and the only thing I can hear is his heartbeat, which is strong and steady.
“That’s it. You are doing so great,” he whispers.
I start to relax in his hold and eventually lie limp in his arms. He continues to run his hands through my hair, and I snuggle more into him.
“Let’s go back to bed.”
I stare at him with wide eyes and pout. I put my hands around his torso, placing my head on his chest. I hear and feel him laughing, but I am too tired to care. I just want to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
“All right, I’ll carry you to bed, and you can lie on top of me,” he whispers.
He picks me up and stands, walking back toward the bed. The whole time, my head is on his chest, and I slowly fall back to sleep. Bear lies on the bed and brings the cover over us.
“Goodnight,” he whispers, kissing my head.