Chapter 13
brOOKE
Do you know any places that are available for rent?
Gears looks up, surprised. He opens his mouth and shuts it again.
“Does Bear know about this?” Gears asks.
“Do I know about what?” Bear says out of nowhere.
I jerk my head up in shock. I did not hear him come into the room. I reach for my phone that is still in Gears’s hands, but Bear grabs it before I can. I jump in the air, trying to get my phone out of Bear’s hands. Bear doesn’t pay attention to me while he reads.
“You are not leaving this club,” Bear says.
I glare at him. I point to my phone so I can type and talk to Bear.
“No discussion. You will be staying in my room. I have plenty of space in there,” he says.
I walk over to my notepad and pen, but before I can grab them, an arm snakes around my waist, bringing me against a hard chest.
“Don’t give me attitude. You are staying in my room. It’s not up for discussion,” Bear whispers into my ear.
I shrink against him and nod. His voice is so stern, brokering no argument, that I simply agree. I plan to bring this up again later, but I don’t want him to use that tone on me again.
“Now, I’m going to go back to work. Stay safe and drink water.” Bear kisses me on the head and leaves the room.
Gears looks at me with surprise and shock. When he sees me glaring at him, he wiggles his eyebrows at me. Blood rushes to my cheeks, and I shake my head, getting back to work.
It’s been a month since I got kicked out of the motel. Bear has let me stay in his room every night. I have tried to bring up the idea of finding another place to stay, but Bear always shoots it down. Says that I don’t need to since his room is perfectly fine.
We have gotten pretty close and are around each other all the time.
I feel safer and more comfortable with him.
It’s hard to fall asleep when I am not in his arms. There have been a couple of times that he left for a couple of days, and it was agonizing.
I had a hard time sleeping, and I think Gears knew that, too.
“What are you thinking about?” Bear asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.
About an apartment.
“I told you that you don’t need an apartment. I care for you and want what is best. I don’t want you to have to worry about looking for a place! My room should be enough!” He raises his voice.
I regret bringing it up. He has never gotten this angry about it. Never shouted at me when I brought it up.
“Why can’t you just be thankful I’m letting you stay in my room?” he asks.
I stare at him, taking a step back. Flashbacks start playing in my mind as he continues to yell at me.
“Why can you just be grateful for everything I’ve given you?” Jared yells, slapping me.
Tears fill my eyes. The sting from the slap resurfaces, and I cradle my cheek and stare at Bear’s feet.
“I’m giving you a rent-free place to stay! Stop asking to find an apartment! I don’t want you to ask again!” Bear takes a step closer to me.
I take a shaky breath in. Panic rises in my chest as my airway closes.
“You’re a whore! The only reason you want an apartment is so you can sleep around behind my back?” Jared kicks me in the stomach.
I double over, cradling my head, letting my tears fall from my eyes. My whole body shakes. I sink to the floor, putting my head on the ground, and grab my neck. I open my mouth, trying to get air into my lungs.
“Brooke?” Bear hesitantly asks.
I rock a little, trying to calm myself down. I feel hands being placed on my shoulders, and I jerk away. My head flings up, staring right into Bear’s eyes. He studies my face, which must be changing color because his face morphs into panic.
“Breathe, Brooke. Just breathe!” His hands cup my face.
I try to take a breath in, but I can’t. I start panicking more, tears falling freely. I grab my neck and start scratching it.
Bear takes my hand and places my head against his chest. At this point, Bear is on the ground, and I am in his lap. He is slightly rocking back and forth.
“Shh. It’s okay. You are safe. Listen to my heartbeat and look around. List five things that you can see in your head,” Bear whispers reassuringly.
I look around the room. There is a bed, chair, dresser, desk, and Bear. My airway opens a little, and I try to take a deep breath in, but end up feeling it close again.
“Little breaths. Now, list three things you can touch.” He rubs my back.
I place one of my hands on his arms and one on the ground.
“Now, tap my arm every time my heart beats,” Bear says.
I slowly tap whenever I feel his pulse. His heart is so strong and powerful that I hear it beating.
“Good girl. You did amazing,” Bear encourages me.
I start breathing easier again as my body sags. I relax and lie limp in Bear’s arms. I stop tapping my finger, but continue to listen to his heartbeat.
“Now, you want to tell me what set you off? I don’t want it to happen again, but I have a feeling I know what it is.” Bear rubs my back.
I look around for my phone, but can’t find it. I shakily twitch my fingers like I am typing. Bear continues to rub my back with one of his hands while he grabs my phone on the ground, handing it to me. I take it, trying to type, but my hands are trembling with all my emotions.
“Take your time. Everything is okay,” Bear whispers in my ear, giving me a kiss on the head.
I take a deep breath in and let it out.
When you yelled, it brought memories back.
“I thought it was that. I didn’t catch it in time, but I noticed your body language changed. I’m sorry I shouted at you. I’ll try not to do it again.” Bear runs his hands through my hair.
I snuggle more into Bear’s chest, letting my hands drop to my lap. He continues to soothe me as I try to lock up my memories.
“Isn’t this scene just cute!” someone says out of the blue.
I jerk away from Bear, but don’t get far as he holds me close to his body. I push on Bear’s chest, trying to get away. This is so embarrassing.
“Shut up, Gears. What are you doing here?” Bear asks.
“Well, I was walking by when I heard raised voices. I stayed outside and didn’t hear anything for a while, so I decided to make sure everything was okay. To my surprise, everything is better than okay,” he says, walking more into the room.
I hide my face in Bear’s chest, trying not to meet Gears’s eyes or let him see my burning face.
“You don’t have to hide from me. This only stays between us. I won’t tell anyone the compromising position I found you guys in,” he says, chuckling.
Bear starts laughing when I turn my face away even more from Gears. This position isn’t even that compromising, or at least I don’t think it is.
“Come on, baby, it’s just Gears. Don’t be afraid. He won’t tell anyone, and if he does, then he has to deal with me,” Bear says, lightly pushing my face out of his chest.
“No one wants to get on Bear’s bad side. He isn’t the Sergeant-at-Arms for no reason. He’s earned his spot by doing some pretty nasty things,” Gears pipes in.
I look at Gears, confused. Sergeant-at-Arms? What is that? I have never heard that term before.
“Sergeant-at-Arms is a person who defends the club, the property, the club’s interest, and the members. He helps the president enforce the club laws in meetings and other activities. He also goes out and sets people straight,” Bear explains.
I wonder what Bear had to do to get the position, but at the same time, I might not want to know. It might be gruesome and have details that would scare me.
“You don’t want to know what he had to do to get the position. I see that look on your face. Let’s just leave it at he has done a lot to get where he is now.” Gears looks directly into my eyes.
I slightly cower at his tone. Him denying me the option to know makes me want to know now. Bear meets my eyes and nods.
“I agree. At least, I’m not telling you now. If you want to know when we get to know each other better, I’ll tell you, but not now,” Bear says.
I nod, looking down. I don’t really want to know, but I’m a little curious. I don’t know much about the club’s way, but I do want to learn.
“Now, how about we go to the diner and get some food?” Gears asks. “I’m starving and can’t wait to eat. I’ll pay.”
“Yeah, we’ll be down in a second. Need to change,” Bear says.
“What you have on is—” Gears stops talking when Bear gives him a glare. “Right, I’ll be waiting downstairs. Don’t take long!”
Gears leaves the room, shutting the door silently. Bear cups my face, turning it to him.
“Are you okay to go out?” Bear caresses my cheek. “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
I give him a small smile, nodding. It would be good to get some fresh air, plus, who can say no to those waffles?
“All right, do you need to change anything, or are you good to go now?” he asks.
I lift two fingers for the second option. Bear gives me a smile, agreeing.
“All right, well, let’s head downstairs. I bet Gears is waiting impatiently for us.”
Slowly, I get out of his lap and stand, watching him rise to his full height too. He grabs my hand, leading me outside. Everyone stares at us, but by now I am used to it. Living here for a month in Bear’s room has taught me not to care about their opinions.
“Finally! Come on, we’ll take the car. I’m driving,” Gears says.
We all hop into the car and make the short trip to the diner. It isn’t busy, but there are more people outside than inside.
“Gears, Bear, and Brooke! How are you guys? Want your regulars?” Jean asks when we walk through the door.
“We are good. How are you? Yes, please, we would love that,” Gears says.
“Doing better since I get to see Brooke. Your order will be up soon!” She says, walking off.
Bear, Gears, and I all make our way toward a table. Bear sits right next to me, and Gears opposite us. Both of them start talking, and I pay attention for a little bit, but eventually tune out.
I stare out of the window, waiting for our food. A male is standing in the busy crowd, looking at me. I look closer and hold my breath. It seems a lot like my ex-boyfriend, Jared, but it can’t be him. He is in prison.
“Are you all right?” Bear breaks me out of my trance.
I smile at Bear, turning back to the window to find the man gone. I frown; it looked so much like Jared.
“Here is your food, enjoy!” Jean places the food down in front of us, and my mouth waters.
Forgetting about the man, I eat my heart out. Ever since I came here, I have eaten way more than I normally do. I have gained weight, but I’m not complaining. I was too skinny before.
“How’s staying in Bear’s room been?” Gears asks.
I place my fork down before giving him a thumbs-up. Bear has been super nice about space in his room, and knows when I need some.
“He hasn’t been bothering you at all? No keeping you up all night?” Gears wiggles his eyebrows.
I shake my head, blood rushing to my cheeks. Why is everything related to sex with Gears? His jokes and insinuations have been nonstop since I moved in.
I feel a hand settle above my knee, and I look down. Bear squeezes my thigh gently when I try to shift my leg.
He trails his hand higher and gives another little squeeze. Jolts of pleasure run right to my core. I squeeze my thighs together, thinking he will let go, but he doesn’t. He inches closer to my pussy, and I try to subtly push his hands away.
His bigger and stronger hand wins. He trails his finger over my jean-covered pussy, and I take a deep breath in. I can feel my face heat with the pleasure and embarrassment I’m feeling.
Bear starts to stroke his finger harder, and I lean my head forward. I try to hide my face from everyone in the diner.
“Are you okay, Brooke?” Gear asks.
I nod, looking at Bear with a slight glare. His hand comes up to my face and touches my forehead.
“I think she might be coming down with something. Her forehead is slightly hot. Would it be all right if we went back to the club now?” Bear asks.
I stare at him in shock. I am not coming down with something, and he knows that. How dare he lie to his friend right in front of his face?
“Oh yeah! Let me pay, and then we can get going,” Gears says, reaching for his wallet.
Bear helps me stand, wrapping an arm around my waist. The whole way to the car, Bear stays close to me.
“I’m going to sit in the back with her. Just in case she needs something urgently,” Bear states, opening the door for me.
“Do whatever you need to do. I’ll get us back to the club as fast as I can,” Gears replies.
Bear pulls me close to him in the car, resting my head on his chest. He rubs my cheek as his other hand runs up and down my side lightly. Goosebumps run through my whole body from his light touch.
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll take good care of you,” Bear whispers in my ear.
I hide my face in his chest, my face heating up from his words. I never knew that words could affect me so much. I basically become a puddle of goo in his arms, willing to let him do anything if he’ll just keep talking like that.
“I hope you feel better, Brooke,” Gears says, turning off the car.
Bear gets out of the car, and I follow him. The whole way to the room, I am a mixture of emotions. There’s a small amount of dread in my veins because I have no idea what he’s going to do, how far this may go, but at the same time, I’m excited to be with someone new, to experience something new.
Bear skips steps as he makes his way up the stairs, forcing me to do the same by pulling on our joined hands. He opens his door and ushers me in before slamming the door and facing me.
“Now, lie on the bed on your back,” Bear demands.